Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Understanding your porn addiction
• Part 2 of 3: Changing your behavior in the long term
• Part 3 of 3: Seeking psychological help
• Tips

Like other forms of destructive behavior that hinder your daily functioning, watching porn can become an addiction. Below you will find information on how to determine if you do have a problem that you should do something about and information on how to better understand the problem, as well as tips on how to change some habits so that you gradually have less need to eat porn. look. Don't be afraid to ask for help from a responsible adult or a mental health professional, as such people can provide valuable support in finding a solution to your pornography problem.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Understanding your porn addiction

1. Find out if you are showing symptoms. Is your use of pornography normal or is it starting to look like an addiction? To get a better idea of ​​the extent to which porn controls your daily life, check for yourself if you have the following signs and symptoms:
   • You can't stop watching porn or doing things related to porn even if you've already tried to stop.
   • You get irritated when you are asked to stop watching porn (even if you tell yourself so).
   • You keep everything related to your porn use hidden from your family and friends.
   • You feel like you're living a double life because of your sneaky porn use.
   • You keep watching porn despite the negative consequences it gives. For example, because of porn use you have problems establishing and maintaining relationships and at school.
   • You don't remember what you did during certain periods because you were completely absorbed in your porn use.
2. Make sure you know how porn addiction can affect you in the long run. To better understand what you are going through, it is good to know what you are risking. Sometimes it can be easy to convince yourself that everyone is watching porn and that you might not have a problem at all in the end. When you know the possible consequences of porn addiction, you will see the real dangers of the problem:
   • Broken relationships or problems in your intimate relationships
   • You quickly lose interest in girls and relationships
   • Shame and / or guilt
   • Problems at work and at school, such as lower grades
   • You have a high risk of engaging in dangerous or unhealthy sexual activities, which in turn increases the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease
   • You run the risk of eventually becoming unable to become aroused in non-pornographic situations
3. Don't get mad at yourself. Because the addiction involves obscene material, you may tend to view yourself as perverse, impure, or morally wrong for developing the problem at all. But adding shame and guilt to the situation makes it even more difficult to gain the confidence you need to resist temptation and engage in other activities.
   • Popular methods like squeezing your arm every time you watch porn actually create a kind of forbidden fruit effect that makes it even harder to quit. Plus, you'll eventually create a negative association with your own sexuality that way, which can make it even more difficult to get to the underlying issues of your porn addiction.
4. Try to find out what your triggers are. A trigger is something that makes you want to watch porn. A trigger could be a point in your daily routine, such as before going to bed, or it could be a pop-up ad or a half-naked actress or actor. It is important that you know what your triggers are because that way you will learn when to really do your best to not to watch. Instead of watching porn, you can then do something else that will successfully divert your attention until your need diminishes on its own.
   • For example, if you see an ad that makes you want to watch porn, practice playing a round of your favorite video game instead. You may not be able to avoid watching the ad altogether, but you can replace the porn with a less harmful habit to begin with.
   • After a while, you may no longer have to make an effort to avoid certain triggers or to immediately replace watching porn with the same alternative activity. When you're trying to break the habit, just be very hard on yourself at first when it comes to distracting yourself when you're tempted again.
   • If there are reasons that you can avoid completely, you may want to do that as much as possible. In the beginning, this could make it easier to use less. Just be careful not to spend too much time avoiding certain music or friends that will put you in the mood to watch porn. If you want to bring those things back into your life after trying very hard to avoid them, you run the risk of reverting to porn use.

Part 2 of 3: Changing your behavior in the long term

1. Gradually reduce your use. As an alternative to “cold turkey,” that is, quit all at once, you can also decide to gradually reduce your porn use. Set yourself goals for periods of time depending on whether you want to quit altogether or become a more moderate porn viewer. That way, the transition will be smoother, as you just need to get used to small changes in your behavior at a comfortable speed.
   • For example, suppose you have set yourself a goal of not watching porn more than three times a week. You could then start to reduce your use to once a day, for example, only when you watch the most, such as right before going to sleep.
2. Make sure you no longer have access to your porn channels. Get rid of any temptations that make you want to watch porn more often than you intended. It can help to limit or completely shut off your access to frequently used sources of pornography. Below we give you some more specific ideas that you can apply depending on your personal viewing habits:
   • If you normally watch porn on DVDs, scratch them with a pen or paper clip before throwing them away.
   • If you watch porn in magazines or porn magazines, rip out the pages in question and run them through a paper shredder or throw them in the trash.
   • If you watch porn over the Internet, try a browser extension or some other software that limits the number of pages you can open. These kinds of internet filters (like StayFocusd or Net Nanny) work in the same way as parental controls - over time you can block all websites if you want. These control filters also track the time you spend on certain sites.
   • If you are using a PC you can also block the sites you visit often by converting the hosts file on your computer into a hosts file for changes within Windows.
3. Organize your environment. There are a lot of things you can do to make sure your environment is designed to make porn use more difficult and less tempting. Start with your computer, or your phone, if you watch porn on that too.
   • Clean your computer by removing all viruses and malware that lead you to all kinds of pornographic ads and pop-ups. Also delete any files you have stored on your computer.
   • Try to avoid the privacy that normally encourages you to watch porn by moving your computer and accessories to a common area in the house. You can think of this as a temporary measure as you try to get used to watching less porn. The rest of the family may be surprised, but they will understand when you explain to them that you are trying to spend less time alone and isolated in your room.
   • Avoid the company of friends who share pornography with each other and encourage its excessive use.
4. Measure your progress. Don't forget to pat yourself on the back and give yourself enough credit for your progress so that you feel supported and encouraged in difficult times. Getting rid of an addiction takes a lot of time and effort and usually involves relapses, so by objectively looking at how far you've come now and then, you won't blame yourself for the occasional struggles .
   • Try to monitor your usage through the same browser extension you use to control your access to porn pages. If you use DVDs or print things out, keep an eye on your usage by keeping track of it on a schedule or calendar.
5. Focus on other things. Start something new or pick a new hobby to fill up the time you spent watching porn first. If you don't fill up the time you would otherwise spend watching porn, it will be much more difficult to resist the temptation to go back to watching. Try to find ways to fill in the gaps in your life so you don't have time left for porn. Take up a hobby you've always wanted to get into, such as something creative or a team sport. You can also devote your time to self-enrichment, which you can do by reading, by volunteering, or by adding something to your life in some other way.
   • Another way to choose an activity is to do something that you can talk about a lot. Do something that you can be proud to tell your parents and friends about, such as improving your fitness or learning to play a musical instrument.
   • Do things outdoors. Grab your bike, the bus or the train, or if you have a driver's license, the car if necessary, but get out of the house and do things that have nothing to do with porn.
6. Reconnect with your friends and classmates. A great way to keep doing your new hobbies and activities is to do them with friends or other people you like. That way, through social control, you will feel responsible for continuing the activity - not to mention the opportunity to share new experiences with others. If you have good contact with people who motivate you in a positive way, porn will eventually become less attractive and you will be reminded that you can spend your time in other ways as well.

Part 3 of 3: Seeking psychological help

1. Consider seeking therapy. A mental health professional will be able to provide you with additional resources to deal with the challenges of overcoming addiction. If you decide to seek therapy, you will not be judged or criticized for having a problem. In fact, the more honest you are about the details of your problem, the better the therapist will be able to help you.
   • A great benefit of therapy is that it allows you to address past problems that may be contributing to the underlying causes of your addiction.
2. Ask your family members to help you. Asking for help can be embarrassing, especially because of the type of addiction you have. On the other hand, asking for help really shows that you have the strength and ability to recognize and solve problems in your life. If you'd rather not describe in detail why you need help, ask if you can be referred to a therapist by saying something vague like "I've been feeling like I'm not quite myself lately" or "I have the feeling that I have no contact with anyone around me ".
   • If you'd rather not ask your parents, ask your school mentor or another adult you trust can help you.
3. Ask your therapist or doctor if your addiction may indicate a health problem. Sometimes porn addiction can be the result of a hormone imbalance that increases your sex drive. If you feel like your propensity to use porn has not diminished after all you have done to get over it, you may have an underlying problem and a doctor can help you determine which one exactly is.
4. Inquire about special teen self-help groups. There are a lot of teens dealing with porn addiction, and by joining a self-help group you will find out that you are not alone. This is especially important because the sneakiness that comes with porn addiction is one of the elements that keep the problem going. A group will help you stay focused on your goals and give you a place where you can share stories, victories, and specific tips for dealing with the addiction. Check if there is a so-called 12-step group in your area to overcome addictions; Sex Addicts Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous are two groups where people with pornographic addictions are most welcome.
   • There are also a large number of groups on the Internet that you can turn to online if you are unable to attend meetings in person.
5. Be careful with relapses. Understandably, you will be disappointed if you do start watching more porn again and go beyond the boundaries you have set for yourself. Indeed, a relapse can be a sign that you need to focus more on your ability to cope with the situation and that you need to be more serious about lifestyle changes to overcome your addiction. On the other hand, make sure that you don't get into a negative spiral and start looking more and more because you have the feeling that you have failed because you had a relapse. Keep in mind that the following signs all point to progress, despite brief relapses:
   • Slight relapses; like trying to watch porn on the internet but then quickly turning it off before indulging in a boundless viewing frenzy.
   • There is a lot of time between the different relapses
   • You are able to recover from a relapse using the methods mentioned here and the resources recommended by your therapist

Tips

• Live from day to day and constantly remind yourself of how much you have already progressed.
• It's normal for you to be tempted every now and then, so don't blame yourself if you feel the urge to give in to your addiction again.
• Talk to people you can trust and who will understand and ask if they can keep an eye on you.
• If you are tempted again, you can use that temptation as a trigger to ask yourself "do I really have to do this?"
• Block the porn pages on the internet.
• Find a girlfriend! If you have your own love life, chances are that porn will become less tempting.
• Keep yourself away from pornography by, for example, turning off your computer.
• If you'd rather not talk to someone about your problems, it can also help to write them down where no one can read them.