Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 4: Deciding to end a relationship
• Method 2 of 4: Parting in person
• Method 3 of 4: How to tell about breakups from a distance
• Method 4 of 4: How to distance yourself from your ex

It's hard to end a relationship at a distance. Perhaps you cannot come to terms with the fact that your loved one is far away from you, or it seems to you that you are stuck in a relationship with the person you do not love. Whatever the circumstances, you can end the relationship and rid yourself of unnecessary emotions. Distance slows down everything, including the beginning and ending of a relationship. However, when you finally find the strength to end the relationship, it will be much easier for you.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Deciding to end a relationship

1. 1 Understand your feelings. Think about why you want to break up with your partner, and make a list of the things that don't work for you in the relationship.
   • Write down anything that bothers you. Is the problem in the distance or in the partner? Consider if you can change anything, or if all the problems are just the consequences of a long-distance relationship.
   • If you can't make a decision, make a list of the pros and cons - that is, there are reasons to stay in the relationship and end it. Analyze each item. One significant minus can negate a number of pluses.
2. 2 Think about whether you really want it. Perhaps you can solve some problems if you talk to your partner. If you're sure you want to break up, take courage and come up with a plan.
   • If you are tired of being separated by distance, but still love your partner, talk to him about the future. Sometimes a relationship at a distance can be maintained if both partners see some changes in the future, that is, if they plan to solve the problem of geographic distance.
3. 3 Talk about your feelings with a close friend or girlfriend. If you need to speak up, but you are not ready to talk about problems in your relationship with your partner, ask a close friend, relative, or a therapist for advice.
   • Explain what bothers you and why you want to break up. Ask the other person if they think your arguments are valid. He will help you sort out your thoughts and look at the situation from a different angle.
   • If your interlocutor himself experienced parting under similar circumstances, talk to him - his advice may be useful to you.
4. 4 Live on. Stop looking back at your relationship all the time. Be open to new opportunities and think about what can make you a happy person.
   • If you feel like you should break up with your partner, trying to live the life of a person without a relationship will help you make a decision. If you feel that you are losing touch with your partner and that you enjoy it, then breaking up will be the right decision.
   • Try to make new friends in your city. Start attending various meetings and events. Enjoy your freedom and don't think about the next time you can talk to your partner. Do what the relationship prevents you from doing.
   • Live for yourself and enjoy every minute. You may find out exactly what makes you feel better.
5. 5 Be a decent person even when you break up. If you have agreed with your partner that you both only date each other, before you enter into a relationship with someone else, you should break up with your old partner. Respect other people.
   • If you cheat on your partner and he finds out about it, most likely he will take the initiative and break off the relationship with you himself. However, this will hurt everyone the most, and the unpleasant situation will stretch in time.
   • If you want to break up with your partner because you already have someone else, sooner or later you will have to make a decision. The sooner you make a choice, the better for everyone.

Method 2 of 4: Parting in person

1. 1 Try to talk about the breakup in person. It is best to discuss the breakup in person so that your partner has a sense of completion. You should show respect for the time and energy you both gave to this relationship.
   • This is one of the hardest things about breaking up if you have a long-distance relationship. You may feel like you have to talk about everything in person, but you are used to the fact that the time you spend together is like taking a break from everyday life. It will be very difficult to disrupt the normal course of life.
   • If you are planning to visit your partner in the near future, talk to him during this trip. Unless you have any special plans, go as soon as possible. There is no need to come up with a non-existent reason, however, honestly explaining why you want to come may not be the best solution. Just go.
   • If you have any of your partner's items (clothes, favorite book), return them. Take all your belongings with you.
   • Try to talk about the breakup when you arrive yourself, not when your partner arrives. This will make it easier for you to leave as soon as possible.
2. 2 Don't put off talking about breakups until a vacation or long trip.
   • Everyday issues may not seem so important during your vacation, making it harder for you to end your relationship. Returning home, you will understand that the problems have not gone anywhere.
   • If you end your relationship with someone while on vacation, you will need to stay close to your ex throughout the trip.
3. 3 Don't make a scene. Try not to bring up the conversation about the breakup in a public place where there are a lot of people (in a restaurant, coffee shop, bar). This can only complicate the situation.
   • You should be able to leave without hindrance after the conversation. Don't leave things at your ex-partner's house - you may feel embarrassed to come back for them.
   • Talk to your partner in a neutral, public place that is not crowded (such as a city park).
4. 4 Start a conversation. Gather your courage and say this: "We need to talk. This relationship does not suit me, and I want to end it.".
   • Explain why you are doing this. Be polite, choose soft phrases, but don't compromise. Be honest and honest.
   • For example: "I can no longer put up with distance. It tears and torments me. You are a wonderful person, and I hope that you will meet someone who will give you what you need, but I cannot be that person.".
   • Or like this: "Apparently, we will not be able to live in the same city anytime soon, and I do not want to waste time and energy on something that has no future. I wanted to say this personally. I want to end this relationship.".
5. 5 Be firm in your intentions. Try to make sure that your words do not sound like a proposal for discussion. Be confident and firm in your intentions.
   • Explain everything concisely and simply. The longer you talk, the more difficult it will be for you to end the relationship. Words can confuse the situation even more.
   • Try to avoid an argument. Don't blame or blame your partner for anything. Explain that you want to break up because of your inability to participate in the relationship.
6. 6 Help your partner find a sense of completion. Be patient and show compassion.Let your partner speak up and listen.
   • Don't leave until your partner agrees with your decision. Know that he most likely will not be able to calm down right away - it all depends on how important this relationship is to him.
   • When you have nothing more to say or feel like the conversation is going round and round, wish your ex-partner the best and leave.

Method 3 of 4: How to tell about breakups from a distance

1. 1 If you can't talk about the breakup in person, do it over the phone or video chat. It is important to express your feelings personally, as much as possible, so that the partner has a sense of completion.
   • Don't end the relationship with a text message. It is a less personal form of communication that will not give you a sense of completeness. If you have had a long-term relationship, parting with a text message will be disrespectful to your partner.
   • Do not post anything related to the gap to public access to social media. Your partner will perceive this as passive aggression and may respond in the same way.
2. 2 Tell your partner that you need to talk. Arrange a time and choose a communication method. This will prepare your partner for a serious conversation, and it will be easier for you to start this conversation.
   • For example, send a message like this:"Can we talk on the phone in the evening around 8 o'clock? I need to tell you something.".
   • If you are on Skype or phone at a specific time, talk about breaking up during one of these calls.
   • “We need to talk” almost always means that something is going wrong in the relationship. If you send this phrase to your partner, they can call you back immediately to find out what will be discussed. If you've been having relationship problems for a while, these words probably won't surprise your partner.
3. 3 Call your partner and start a conversation. It's time to do it. Put it this way: "I would hate to do it over the phone, but I have to say what worries me. I feel bad in this relationship, and I want to leave.".
   • Tell us about the reasons for this decision. Choose your words carefully, but don't compromise. Be honest and honest.
   • For example: "I can't stand this distance any longer. It torments and tears me apart. You are a wonderful person, and I hope that someone can give you what you need, but I cannot be that person.".
   • For example: "I understand that in the near future we will not be able to live in the same city, and I do not want to waste time and energy on relationships without prospects.".
4. 4 Be firm in your intentions. This is especially important if you are not breaking up in person. Your words should not sound like a proposal for discussion. Be confident in your intentions and state them clearly.
   • Do not procrastinate or complicate explanations. The longer you talk, the more confusing the situation will become. Words may be superfluous.
   • Try to avoid quarrels. Don't blame your partner for anything. Explain to him that you are breaking up because you cannot continue this relationship.
5. 5 Help your partner feel complete. Be patient and try to put yourself in his shoes. Listen to your partner if he wants to explain to you how he sees the situation.
   • Continue the conversation until your partner makes your decision. It is possible that he will not come to terms with this right away - everything will depend on how important your relationship is to him.
   • When you both have nothing more to say, hang up. It's over.
6. 6 Return your partner's belongings if you still have them. Send them by mail or ask someone you know in common to pass them on.
   • Tell your ex how you plan to return their belongings and do as you promise. This is the act of a polite person, and your partner will feel more at ease if he knows that his things will return to him.
   • Try to get everything done as quickly as possible.This will allow both of you to come back to life sooner. If you postpone the conversation, the situation may worsen.

Method 4 of 4: How to distance yourself from your ex

1. 1 Draw boundaries. Don't talk to your ex as often as you used to. Resist the urge to talk to him or respond to him. Let him know that you broke up and that you will not change your mind.
   • If you usually communicate with your partner via the phone and the Internet, you will need to accustom yourself to the new routines. If you continue to interact with your partner in the same way as before, your relationship will not be able to end normally.
   • If you broke up with someone, but you talk to them every day, you continue to live in a relationship. If you can set boundaries and stick to them, communicate with the person, but don't let yourself get back into the relationship.
   • Make sure your partner understands this. If you initiated the breakup, your partner most likely still has an emotional dependence on you. He may try to contact you again, and you should respect his feelings.
2. 2 Help your partner find a sense of completion. It is possible that he will want to talk to you after breaking up, to share his thoughts or to get rid of resentments. Do what you see fit, but it's better to put off conversations for a while.
   • Try to be understanding about what is happening, but do not change your mind. Listen to your ex and try to understand their point of view, but do not allow yourself to be coaxed into anything. Remember why you decided to break up.
   • If your ex-partner comes to your city and wants to see you, consider whether you are ready for it. If you communicate with him as before, he may misunderstand you.
3. 3 Live on. Put your mobile devices aside and go outside. Go to work and hang out with friends. Appreciate your freedom.
   • Try to meet new people. Attend various meetings, events, participate in the social life of your city and acquire new contacts.
   • Think of a breakup as a catalyst for life change. Do what you've always wanted to try. After a breakup, if you pursue your personal growth after the breakup, it will be easier for you to get over the breakup and not return to your ex.
4. 4 Try not to think too much about the breakup. Let the relationship end, albeit not quite the way you would like it to. You had good reasons for the decision to break up.
   • If you miss your ex, remind yourself of why you broke up.
   • Don't throw away the list of reasons why you decided to end the relationship. If you start to miss the past and regret what you did, this list will remind you of the reasons for the breakup and restore confidence in the right decision.