Author:
Helen Garcia
Date Of Creation:
15 April 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
Many people are afraid of being vulnerable in a relationship because vulnerability allows the possibility of rejection or ridicule. However, if you don't allow yourself to show vulnerability in your relationships with friends and your significant other, it can prevent you from forming deep personal bonds with loved ones. You should overcome your fears and strive to open up to people in order to find vulnerability and more satisfaction in relationships.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: How to Conquer Your Fears
1 List the reasons that prevent you from showing your vulnerability. Think about why you are afraid to be yourself in a relationship. Ask yourself what scares you the most about being open with people. You may not want to be hurt or are trying not to hurt a friend or partner yourself. Sometimes the reason is our ego, which does not allow us to demonstrate our weaknesses. Perhaps your openness in the past has led to undesirable consequences. Be honest with yourself and reflect on your fears. - Try writing them down on a piece of paper to visualize your thoughts.
2 Focus on the positive aspects. Openness and vulnerability can be beneficial in many ways: helping to create deep connections with people and increase levels of trust and satisfaction. Paying attention to these aspects will help you overcome your fear. Find activities to help you stay positive. This could be exercise, meditation, or writing in your diary. 
3 Talk to someone who really cares about you. Reach out to a relative or friend to whom you are not afraid to open up. Share your vulnerability concerns with others. Perhaps his gaze will be radically different from yours. Also, such a conversation will become a kind of rehearsal for openness with others. 
4 See a specialist. If you find it difficult to deal with the problem on your own, then you can seek help from a psychotherapist or counseling psychologist. He will help you find answers and just listen or provide advice. Show the professional your list of reasons or past events that influence your behavior.
Part 2 of 2: How to open up to a person
1 Do not hurry. Pick one fact you want to share and start there. You should not immediately express all your fears and concerns, otherwise you risk overwhelming yourself and your interlocutor. - Start small, like worrying about your career or worrying about your relative. You can also talk about your hobby if you are not spreading about it.
- Some people find it easier to open up to someone who has already shared their personal or intimate secret with them. This balances the situation.
2 Set boundaries for conversations. Start difficult conversations by saying what you expect from the person you are talking to. Just ask to listen to you if you need to speak out. Don't forget to tell me if you need or don't need advice. If the topic of the conversation makes you feel anxious, then you will feel more control over the situation. - Start by saying, "Let me finish before giving my opinion," or ask, "Can I just talk to you?"
3 Admit your fear of vulnerability. Don't hide your concerns from the person. Tell him about past events that make you hide your feelings. This will make it easier for him to understand your indecision and realize that you are trying to establish communication. - Admit your difficulties and say something like, "I'm trying to change." You can also ask the person to suggest to you in the future when you can open up more.
4 Tell us about your mistake. Talk about what you did wrong or what you are ashamed of. All people make mistakes, so you will probably be understood. People are attracted to sincere and down-to-earth personalities, so don't try to hide your flaws. - If you are ready for this, you can share your significant misconduct, such as the mistake that cost you the relationship. Don't be afraid to start small. Keep a mental list of any of the best conversations you might have during the day. Perhaps you were rude to a stranger and regret it. This will show your awareness and desire to reflect on your own behavior.
5 Admit it if you don't understand something. Everyone wants to appear smart and knowledgeable, but don't pretend you know everything or you will be considered arrogant. You can ask the person to explain a point that you do not understand. By doing this, you will earn respect and increase the self-esteem of the interlocutor, as well as show that you trust him. - You may be asked to explain a difficult political situation or workflow if you do not understand it. Ask to teach you a new skill (such as cooking or cycling).
- Don't be afraid to ask your opinion about your interactions with other people. This will help you understand the moments that have eluded you so that next time you know what to focus on.
6 Share your feelings. If you keep your emotions to yourself, the result is only anger and frustration. Confessing what bothers you gives you the opportunity to solve the problem immediately, and the person perceives your attempt as sincerity and honest behavior. - You don't always have to express your emotions. You can write them down on paper or express them through music, which is also a way of communication.
7 Do not stop. It is likely that the person will respond well to what you say, and you will be comfortable sharing such details with them. But even if you don't get the reaction you want, you still got the upper hand over your fears and found the courage to be vulnerable in the relationship. - If you were pleased with the person's reaction, then thank him for his responsiveness. If you were hurt, then talk about your feelings so that he understands how such a reaction affected you.
- Verbal expression of emotions helps to cope with them faster, so whatever the outcome, you've already done yourself a favor. You should be proud that you acted sincerely and practice this behavior in different ways.
- Pay attention to the outcome of the communication and see if your fear was justified. It often turns out that fear has large eyes.
