Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Making sense of the situation
• Method 2 of 3: Talking to your husband
• Method 3 of 3: Work on Behavior Change
• Tips

There are many reasons why marriages fail, and husbands looking at other women is definitely one of them. If your husband is staring at other women, you may feel pain, anger, or, as a result, feel less attractive. However, you can make your husband stop looking at other women, provided he is willing to work on his own behavior.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Making sense of the situation

1. 1 Determine if this is the problem. There is a difference between just looking at other people and actively making eyes and throwing lustful glances at them. Remember that most men pay attention to women's bodies without even thinking, and women themselves evaluate other women in the same way. Try to be as objective as possible in the situation to determine if you really have something to worry about.
   • For example, if your husband looks around the room and spends as much time evaluating men's suits as he does examining women's dresses, then he is not staring at anyone.
   • If your husband notices that someone looks good, and that remark is reasonable and acceptable (he did not say that she is "hot" or "sexy"), then most likely you have nothing to worry about. It's okay to notice that the person looks good, especially when it comes to a dress or a new hairstyle. Consider, if you made the same observation about men, would your husband be worried about this?
2. 2 Realize that this isn't just "all guys do it." If your husband is frankly looking at other women - wandering around their breasts, hips, butt, making inappropriate comments, or eloquently changing facial expressions - this should not be considered normal behavior.
   • Remember that if your husband casts lustful glances at other women, especially in your presence, it is disrespectful to you.
   • Some men look at other women because they have been taught that this is how real men behave. Therefore, perhaps your husband does this because he believes that such behavior is expected of him.
3. 3 Don't discount the role of hormones. Testosterone levels are higher in men, and it is testosterone that controls male libido. Thus, men are programmed to pay attention to women.
   • For many men, the habit of staring at women is developed during adolescence, when hormones are raging in the body. Looking at attractive women and feeling sexually aroused triggers a chemical reaction in the brain that only ties the behavior more closely to pleasure, creating a habit that is difficult to break.
   • If it's a habit, your husband may not even be aware of what he is doing (like biting his nails or picking his nose). In this case, your husband may take a defensive stance if you point it out, and will likely try to blame you for jealousy, self-doubt, or over-control.
   • However, fortunately, if this is a habit, then you can get rid of it, provided that he wants to do it. The main thing is to help him notice when he is doing this and together develop a strategy for changing such behavior.
4. 4 Try not to take it personally. If a husband is staring at other women, it is very easy to start looking for a reason in himself, for example, to feel unattractive and unable to keep the attention of his half. Most of the time, however, if a man is used to doing this, he will continue no matter what his wife looks like.
   • Remind yourself that your husband is not looking at other women because of you or because of what you did or didn’t do. You shouldn't think you're not attractive enough to keep his attention. Your husband's behavior is a habit that has nothing to do with your appearance or your qualities.

Method 2 of 3: Talking to your husband

1. 1 Let your husband know when this is happening. At the right time, make a comment that you find his behavior unacceptable. He may be doing it unconsciously, but let him know that it bothers you.
   • Just say something like, "Why don't you take your eyes off this woman's chest?" Since you will most likely be in a public place at this time, it is better not to read a long lecture about his behavior, however, having made a comment, you can later return to this topic and discuss it.
2. 2 Share how you feel. It is very important that he knows how his interest in other women makes you feel.
   • Try to keep the conversation in line: "When you do A, I feel B." Say that when he looks at the bodies of other women or makes inappropriate comments, you feel resentment, jealousy, anger, or disrespect towards yourself.
   • Next, tell your husband how he should improve in the future. For example: "When you looked at Lena's breasts today, it embarrassed me and I felt disrespectful from you. Please try to show more respect for me and my friends in the future, and do not look at them that way."
3. 3 Do not accept any excuses as to why your husband is doing this. He can make it appear as if this behavior is correct, normal or inevitable, and blame all the blame on you.
   • When people misbehave and are caught doing it, they tend to try on the victim role. They begin to blame in return, claiming that their bad behavior is contrived or that the person who blames them is crazy and exaggerating everything. This is a kind of way to avoid responsibility for your behavior.
   • If this happens, try translating the topic.Once your husband starts blaming you, it can be difficult to keep the conversation going in a productive manner.
4. 4 Decide if this behavior is worth your fights. If this happened once, it may be best not to focus on it. However, if this is repeated, or if your spouse blames you for everything, calling you not attractive enough or too jealous, you should probably see a psychologist or therapist.
   • Tell your husband that his behavior is causing you discomfort. You must really convince him of the seriousness of the situation and point out that you think his behavior is completely unacceptable and that it is hurting you.

Method 3 of 3: Work on Behavior Change

1. 1 Consider your relationship. If he is still looking for excuses, you need to show him that you are not joking. Say that his behavior is jeopardizing your relationship.
   • In a healthy marriage, none of the partners wants to behave in a way that would harm their partner or the marriage as a whole. If your husband values ​​your family and you as a partner, your serious concern about the situation should convince him that his behavior is unacceptable and should be changed to save the marriage.
2. 2 Help your husband get rid of this habit. If your husband thinks that he is unconsciously looking at other girls, it is most likely that his behavior is caused by a deeply ingrained habit. You can help him get rid of her if he wants to.
   • One good way to break a habit is to find out why the person likes it and try to replace that feeling with some kind of punishment. For example, if your husband feels aroused by looking at attractive women, you might show him a photo of something scary and unpleasant as punishment.
3. 3 Find a marriage counselor - a psychologist or psychotherapist. If you are concerned about your husband's behavior, thereby affecting your marriage, it is time to seek professional help. It often takes a third party to assess your feelings and understand that this is not an overreaction and that this behavior is indeed detrimental to your relationship.
   • If you are a religious person, you can seek the advice of a spiritual mentor.
   • If marriage counseling isn't helping and your husband continues to consider other women and doesn't want to change, you should probably consider breaking up. You deserve a relationship of mutual respect.
4. 4 Seek individual advice. Individual counseling can also be beneficial for you and your husband. Talking to a professional on your own will give you a chance to discuss your feelings about your husband's behavior. Your husband may also have questions or concerns that can be resolved with professional help.
   • If you don't have the money to spend on counseling, look for books to help you cope with low self-esteem.

Tips

• Men who watch a lot of pornography or material with sexual content are more prone to this behavior. If your husband has this habit, seek professional help to see if your relationship makes sense.