Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Resolve the problem immediately
• Method 2 of 3: Develop an Action Plan
• Method 3 of 3: Take care of yourself
• Warnings

It is unpleasant when someone calls you names or insults you. People can hurt your feelings when they taunt, criticize, or humiliate you. You can behave with people who humiliate you, so that they stop doing it and leave you alone. You just need to learn to take care of yourself and know how to deal with them when this happens.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Resolve the problem immediately

1. 1 You don't need to answer right away. If the person humiliates you, try to deal with the problem without a harsh answer. The retaliatory insult or your anger will only give him confidence. He will get what he wanted - a response from you. In addition, you will not feel very well from the outburst of rage or other negative emotions. You can do or say something that you regret, or hurt yourself with stressful feelings.
   • Take a deep breath or two. This will help you stay calm.
   • Count slowly to five until you calm down.
2. 2 No need to take revenge. You may want to humiliate the abuser in the same way, but then you will sink to his level. In addition, it will only increase the voltage and will not solve the problem in any way.
   • As with the backlash option, your retribution will give him what he wanted.
   • Even if you really want to, you should not respond to rude comments or offensive posts about you posted on social networks.
   • Don't gossip after a conflict. You will feel better for a moment, but that will not solve the problem in the least.
3. 3 Never mind. Sometimes silence is the best weapon. Ignore the person who humiliates you by depriving them of the pleasure of your reaction. This way you will not waste time and energy on someone who is not worth it. Plus, his bad behavior will indeed be very different from your good behavior.
   • Act like you haven't heard anything.
   • Continue doing what you are doing without even looking at the abuser.
   • If the person is not completely stupid, then, as a rule, after you ignore him, he will leave you alone.
4. 4 Ask the person to stop. This will make it clear that you want him to stop humiliating you.If the ignore option did not work, or the situation became particularly unpleasant or offensive, perhaps your request will help solve the problem.
   • Be sure to speak in a calm tone. Make eye contact and speak convincingly, confidently, and clearly.
   • For example, if your peer insults you, take a few deep breaths and then calmly say, "Stop humiliating me."
   • You can say to a colleague: “I don’t like the way you talk to me and talk about me. I want you to stop humiliating me. "
   • If this is a friend who really has no evil intentions, say: “I know that you are not out of malice, but your words hurt me. Please don't do that anymore. "

Method 2 of 3: Develop an Action Plan

1. 1 Understand why the person does this. People who humiliate others can behave this way for several reasons. This does not always happen on purpose or with the intention of offending you. Understanding the motives of a person's behavior will help you decide what to do with the person.
   • Some people do this because they are insecure or jealous of you. By humiliating you, they are trying to exalt themselves.
   • Some people do this because they are trying to impress someone or get attention. For example, an employee who criticizes your work in front of your boss.
   • Others do not realize that they are doing this, or simply communicate in this manner. For example, a grandmother who says, “What a great shirt. She hides your belly. "
   • Sometimes people don't really try to be rude or hurt your feelings. They might just think of it as a harmless joke. For example, a friend who calls you "shorty."
2. 2 Mark the boundaries of what is acceptable. Some comments are just annoying and you can ignore them. The other comments are really angry and offensive, and something needs to be done. If you set these boundaries for yourself, it will be easier for you to deal with the problem.
   • For example, when your brother humiliates you, it is annoying. But you know that he is most likely not doing it seriously and is not really trying to hurt your feelings. You may not even want to discuss this topic with him, unless the situation gets out of control.
   • But the situation with an employee who constantly makes rude remarks that upset you needs to be settled.
   • If the insults are discriminatory or are uttered quite often, then the person has crossed all permissible boundaries, and he needs to be informed about it.
3. 3 Talk to colleagues and peers. People who don't know you well enough, but who humiliate you, most likely do it for bad intentions (or just like to annoy others). Don't make a scene, but let them know they don't need to.
   • If possible, talk face to face. This saves the person from having to “stage a show” for other people and maintain respect for both parties.
   • You might say, “During the discussions, you made some pretty harsh comments about my idea. I appreciate constructive criticism, not insults. Please don’t do this anymore. ”
   • If he begins to humiliate you while you are trying to talk about it, end the conversation.
   • If the situation continues or gets worse, you may need to report it to your superiors.
4. 4 Be more firm with your friends and siblings. Although this may start out as a harmless joke, sometimes the situation can go too far, in which case it is necessary to tell the person to stop. Do not laugh when you ask to stop all this or you start cursing yourself. He will not take you seriously and the humiliation will continue. When conducting a conversation, be assertive, speak calmly and clearly.
   • For example, “Ha ha ha. Stop it, elephant ears ”is not the best way to tell your sister to calm down.
   • Look into her eyes and in a calm, serious voice say, “Okay. Enough.I understand you think this is funny, but it really hurts me, so I ask you to stop. "
   • If she doesn't stop right away, tell her, “I wasn't kidding when I asked you to calm down,” and then leave her alone. Most likely, she will come to you and apologize. Sometimes the closest people do not understand when we are serious.
5. 5 Be respectful to your superiors. Sometimes parents, teachers or leaders humiliate us, often without realizing it. Let these people know that their teasing is bothering you and that you want them to stop. Your request will make the person think about their actions and your feelings about it. This is also an important step in resolving the situation in the long term.
   • Talk to your HR department at work and listen to their options on how you can cope with boss humiliation.
   • Talk to him in private if you feel better this way. This will make the conversation less awkward for both of you.
   • Try saying, "When you call my work talentless, it really hurts me." Or, “I know I don’t always do all my work, but please don’t call me lazy. It hurts my feelings. "
   • If you are uncomfortable talking to the abuser in private, or if you feel that he is deliberately humiliating you, tell another trusted adult or contact the HR department.

Method 3 of 3: Take care of yourself

1. 1 Take it easy. The words of this person reflect only his essence, not yours. If he were a happy person, he would not have spent so much time humiliating the people around him. In addition, most likely, he does this not only with you, but with other people as well. If you let him humiliate you, he will win. Don't let him lower your self-esteem or make you feel negative.
   • Remind yourself of all your best qualities by making a list of your positive characteristics.
   • Write down what he said about you. For each humiliation, write three things that prove it is untrue.
   • Make a list of all the nice things other people say about you.
2. 2 Use strategies relieve stress. When a person humiliates you, it can be stressful, especially if the situation happens on a regular basis. Learn and apply stress reduction techniques that can help you deal with the abuser and emotional stress.
   • To stay calm when you are with this person, practice meditation or do deep breathing exercises.
   • Practice mindfulness so you can more easily deal with stress and not even take the person who humiliates you seriously.
   • To relieve tension, redirect your energy to sports (like running or swimming).
3. 3 Get support. If a person constantly humiliates you or crossed all boundaries, you should definitely tell someone and ask for help. You also need to do this if the abuser is an influential figure, such as a teacher, parent, or manager. Another person can be of great help to you. He can stand up for you or even report what is happening to the right authorities.
   • Tell someone you trust about the situation. Give as much detail as possible so that he can understand your situation. Ask for advice on how to solve the problem you are experiencing.
   • To do this, you can simply ask a friend to be with you when you tell the person to stop humiliating you.
   • And, you may need to report the situation to the appropriate authorities.
4. 4 Connect with positive people. Spending time with people who treat you well is a great way to deal with the stress of humiliation. It also helps you take care of yourself in general. Spending time with positive people will reduce your stress. Also, you will be distracted from the person who humiliated you, and your feelings about this.
   • Try to regularly interact and talk with people who support you.
   • Don't just talk about the person who humiliates you - have fun!

Warnings

• If the humiliation is related to race, age, gender, or disability, be sure to document and report the incident.
• If you feel threatened or may be physically hurt, contact the appropriate authorities immediately.