Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Show your wife that you can win back her affection
• Method 2 of 3: Talk honestly with your wife
• Method 3 of 3: Give Your Wife Some Time
• Warnings

You and your wife have moved away from each other, but hope to restore the connection that was between you before the "cold snap" began in your relationship? Once you understand the depth of the problem that went downhill and are confident about what you want to return in your relationship, remind yourself that it is entirely possible to revive your love. Then start taking steps to show that you are ready and willing to get your wife back.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Show your wife that you can win back her affection

1. 1 Ask her how you can get her back. This approach may seem too simple or straightforward to you, but in fact, this is the most important step to take. Ask her what she thinks needs to be changed in your relationship. Simply through this conversation, you can show that it is important to you, what your wife thinks, what you want and are ready to influence your marriage.
   • Ask specific questions and ask your wife to give you specific and definite answers.
   • Start with a phrase like this: "I know it has been difficult for you and me lately. What can I do to prove how important our relationship is to me?"
   • Listen carefully to her response and take her point of view seriously, even if at first her opinion hurts or makes you angry.
   • Keep in mind that talking honestly with each other is probably the most important step in bringing harmony back into your relationship.
2. 2 Try to understand how your behavior has changed since the wedding. Getting married was your collective decision to live your life with each other. Each of you has married the person with whom you would like to live your life. If you are not the person your wife married (or vice versa), most likely you need to understand the changes that have happened to you.
   • For example, it can even be obvious physical changes. If you are less active, eat poorly, and your body reflects your lifestyle, try your best to get in shape.
   • If you are overwhelmed by stress (from work or something else) and it is difficult to just be around you - keep in mind that this can also be the reason why you and your wife are distanced from each other.
   • Take time to work on what you need to change. If you just want to spend more time with your wife, agree to spend time together each week and take those commitments seriously.
   • If you find yourself screaming often or experiencing bouts of anger or other emotional swings, see a counselor.
3. 3 If you're struggling with a problem alone, get help. If you can take steps like getting more physically active and focusing on your own, then more dramatic changes in your behavior may require professional help. If you are struggling with addiction or trying to overcome your emotional problems, seek help. To find out what specific problems you may have to face, talk to a psychologist and listen to their advice on the steps you can take to solve your problems.
   • If you suffer from any kind of addiction (alcohol, drug or internet addiction, as well as any other), see a psychologist as soon as possible.
   • Recognize that physical abuse of any kind is not only illegal, but also indicates that you need professional help.
   • In short, deal with any issues outside of your relationship with your wife so that they do not negatively affect your marriage.
   • Tell your wife about the efforts you are making to solve serious problems. Not only will this delight your wife, but it will also motivate you to take your words seriously.
4. 4 Enjoy. While it sounds a little selfish, living a habit, including doing what you enjoy, suggests that you are confident that your marriage can be saved. The golden mean is a guarantee of a healthy psyche: do not deprive your wife of attention, while continuing to do what you like.
   • By showing that you are capable of getting things right in your life, you are showing that you are capable of having serious, mature conversations.
   • Don't try to play on your wife's feelings or make scenes emphasizing how bad and painful you are without her - this behavior is immature and ineffective in the long run.
5. 5 Show respect for yourself and your wife by not speaking badly about her. This is especially important if you have common children - it is absolutely unacceptable to tell them bad things about their mother. It will negatively affect each of you, especially your children, and it certainly won't help improve your relationship with your wife.
   • If you have children, just tell them that you and your mom love them, that things will be fine soon.
   • The same goes for your mutual friends. Just say that you hope your relationship will improve, that you love and respect your wife.
   • If you and your wife make up, your relationship will be greatly complicated by the fact that you once said bad things about her.
   • If you still love your wife, go for it!
6. 6 Be patient. Remember that your marriage did not take place overnight. The same goes for your wife - she will not return by magic. Focus on figuring out what the problems are in your relationship, start solving them one by one, and bring back a warm relationship with your wife. Understand that this will most likely take time.
   • Don't panic during difficult times. Rough conversation, a separate night and a "cold snap" between you do not yet mean that your marriage is lost.
   • Rough conversations show that you need to work on your communication - sometimes it can be enough to rekindle a marriage.

Method 2 of 3: Talk honestly with your wife

1. 1 Have an honest, frank conversation with your wife. Many relationship problems can be resolved through proper communication. And to improve that communication, you need to start with honesty. When you get the opportunity to talk to your wife, be prepared to share what matters most to you — the good and the bad.
   • Be especially honest about what you think was getting in the way of your marriage even before you drifted apart.
   • Be sure to talk about the reasons why you think your relationship can become harmonious and healthy, making you both happy.
   • Do not avoid those conversations that will arise anyway sooner or later. Don't deny or ignore behaviors that have negatively affected your relationship (both yours and your wife's) in the past.
2. 2 Make a list of your strengths and what needs to be worked on in your relationship. This may seem silly at first, but it can be very helpful to make a list of the good, bad, and even disgusting things.
   • Organize your thoughts and prepare to share them clearly and honestly with your wife by writing them down on paper.
   • Make a list of what you love about your wife and your relationship with her.
   • Also, make a list of the things about your past life together that upset you.
   • If you are talking to each other and you understand that she also wants to meet you halfway, ask her to do the same and exchange these lists. This will most likely lead to a serious but important conversation.
3. 3 Forgive, ask for forgiveness yourself and try to forget everything. If you really want to get your wife back and build a happy, harmonious relationship, you will both have to forgive the mistakes and mistakes that have caused you to drift apart.
   • To improve communication and relationship with your wife (while being honest), you need to take responsibility for how you have hurt each other and your relationship in the past.
   • Even if your wife did or said something that hurt you, if she holds a grudge against you for any of your actions that hurt her, talk about it and start working to correct these mistakes and make peace.
   • If your wife is constantly doing things that hurt you, you need to think carefully why you want to be with her again.
4. 4 Be honest with yourself as well. Your breakup may indicate a good reason why you and your wife are estranged from each other. If you broke up a long time ago, or have already filed a divorce, most likely this is an indicator that there were too many problems in your relationship.
   • It's incredibly difficult to deal with a breakup, especially when you're not ready to let the person go. But you can do it.
   • Talk to family and friends about your feelings. They will remind you that you are loved (even if they don’t tell you directly), and they will also help you get through the emotional difficulties of parting.

Method 3 of 3: Give Your Wife Some Time

1. 1 Don't be too desperate. You don't want to take risks and alienate your wife with too aggressive and desperate attempts to get her love back. Likewise, do not allow yourself to become too vulnerable by constantly complaining and running away from yourself - this will not help you get your wife back.
   • Remind yourself that her attitude towards you depends on how you are currently behaving.
   • Calmness looks more mature and attractive than any behavior that could be mistaken for insanity.
   • Stop the conversation and walk away if this conversation (or this place) is emotionally overwhelming.
2. 2 You don't have to endlessly call and write to your wife. If she doesn't answer your calls, of course, you can easily panic and worry, especially when your marriage is going through a tough time. It is very difficult to get used to and adjust to the fact that your wife is keeping you at a distance, but remind yourself that you have no control over her behavior.
   • If you have called her a couple of times already, but she does not answer and does not call back, leave her a voice message or SMS with the words: "I hope you will call me back soon."
   • Try not to worry about what she's doing. Don't let yourself go through the worst-case scenarios. Understand that she might just need to be alone.
3. 3 Leave her alone. It may sound counterintuitive and difficult to accept, but leaving your wife alone for a while will give you both time to think things over. You can articulate your intention as follows: "We both need time to think. And I respect that decision."
   • Show your confidence and independence by acknowledging the need to distance yourself for a while and think before doing anything that could make the situation worse.

Warnings

• Talk to a psychologist - a specialist will help you cope with strong emotional problems, feelings of helplessness and extreme loneliness, if you cannot overcome these feelings on your own.