Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Offer help
• Part 2 of 3: Provide support
• Part 3 of 3: Discuss the experience

It often happens that our colleagues or friends are upset and cry. Want to help but don't know what to do? The most important thing is to provide care and support. Offer what you can to help and support the person. Ask a few questions to properly assess feelings and needs. Take the time and let the person talk if they want to.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Offer help

1. 1 Be there. Sometimes words or actions can be powerless. Words are little consolation. In most cases, it's important to just be there.Your presence and time is the most valuable thing you can offer a person in a difficult moment. Take your time.
   • Stay close and tell the person they can count on you. You do not need to constantly talk, you just need to be present, especially when a person is very lonely.
2. 2 Make sure the person is comfortable. Usually, people try not to cry in front of others, as society regards tears as a manifestation of weakness. If the person has burst into tears in public, encourage them to move to a calmer place to deal with the feeling of awkwardness. You should go to the restroom, vacant room, or get into your car. A person needs to feel safe in order to deal effectively with emotions.
   • If the person is uncomfortable, then suggest: "Let's go to a quieter place?" You can go to the restroom, another room, or get into the car, just to get away from the crowd.
   • Schoolchildren and students should not enter premises where they cannot be (class and auditorium, in which there is no one). Also, be careful not to get lost. You don't need any trouble at all!
3. 3 Offer a handkerchief. If you have a handkerchief or napkin, share with the person who is crying. The face and nose are always wet with tears, so the person will know that you want to help. If you don't have a handkerchief, offer to go get some napkins.
   • Suggest, "Can I go and get some napkins?"
   • Sometimes your gesture may be seen as a demand to stop crying immediately. Watch how the person reacts to your words, because he can be very upset, experience a breakup and even the death of loved ones.

Part 2 of 3: Provide support

1. 1 Let the person cry. There is no point in telling him to stop crying, that the reason is not worth the tears. After crying, a person will feel better. It is important to give vent to emotions, otherwise there is a risk of developing mental problems like depression. Don't forbid the person to cry. Never say "Stop" or "Why cry over such nonsense?" The person did not hide his vulnerability, so do not prevent him from openly expressing his feelings.
   • Many people feel awkward around a crying person. Remember that you are required to offer support, so try not to think about yourself right now.
2. 2 Find out your wants and needs. The person may ask you to stay and listen, or leave him alone. Do not try to draw conclusions from the outside. Ask this question directly so that the person feels in control of the situation and allows you to stay or asks you to leave. Treat any decision with due respect.
   • Ask "How can I help?" or "How can I support you?"
   • Leave if asked to do so. Do not say "You need my help!" Suffice it to say, "Okay, I'll leave, but if you need anything, call or write to me." Sometimes a person needs to be alone.
3. 3 Give the person time. There is no need to rush and urgently try to do anything. Support also means taking your time and being around. When you offer support and help, you don't need to rush the person. Your presence is already helping, so be there in case he needs more help. When you are around, make sure that you do not interfere with the person if he needs to go about his business.
   • Don't offer help if you don't have free time. Stay close and say that you are ready to provide any support. Work can wait a bit.
4. 4 Pay attention if necessary. If your friend loves to cuddle, give her a warm hug. If she tries to avoid contact, try patting her back or not touching her at all. With the help of a stranger, you should find out about his needs. When in doubt, ask direct questions. Do not touch the person if he directly asked for it.
   • Ask, "Do you mind if I hug you?" Friends and family often need a warm hug, while a stranger can be embarrassed by doing so.

Part 3 of 3: Discuss the experience

1. 1 Don't force the person to talk about the problem. Perhaps he is in a state of shock or does not want to speak. In this case, you do not need to insist. People are not always ready to share their problem, especially with a stranger. If nothing comes to your mind, then you do not need to assume that you are obliged to speak words of wisdom. It is enough to be around and say or make it clear: "You can count on my support."
   • In some cases, the person will never say what the matter is. This is fine.
   • You can say: "Sometimes it is enough to voice the problem to feel relief. If you want to talk, then I am ready to listen."
   • Don't be judgmental. In such a situation, people only become more self-contained.
2. 2 Listen carefully. Listen and give the person your full attention. If there is no answer to the question about the problem, then stop asking. Listen carefully to everything that is said. Pay attention not only to the words, but also to the tone of your voice.
   • Maintain eye contact and do not make value judgments.
3. 3 Give your full attention to the person. It may seem that the phrase "I myself recently experienced something similar" will help you to get closer to the person, but in reality it will only turn your attention to you. It may also feel like you are brushing off the person's feelings, which is even worse. The entire conversation should be centered around the person to be comforted. If he talks about the reason for his tears, then don't interrupt.
   • Sometimes you really want to show the closeness between you or talk about a similar situation, but do not do this without direct request. Your job is to help and support.
4. 4 Don't try to find a solution. If a person is upset about a situation, then do not try to solve the problem immediately. Now it is much more important to talk less and listen more. It's okay if the person does not even name the cause of the disorder. You are not required to solve other people's problems.
   • Often people do not cry because they cannot solve their problem. This is how they give vent to emotions. Stay close, but don't get in the way.
   • It is not always easy if you yourself are trying to never cry. It should be remembered that tears are not a sign of weakness.
5. 5 Invite the person to see a psychotherapist. If a person often cannot cope with emotions, then he may need the help of a specialist. Sometimes problems are discouraging or may seem like they cannot be dealt with without the help of a therapist. Gently and unobtrusively advise you to see a specialist.
   • For example, say, “It looks like you have a really difficult situation. Have you thought about going to a psychotherapist? "