Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Understanding the Causes of Frustration and How to Avoid It in Everyday Life
• Part 2 of 3: Changing Your Own Attitude to Reduce Frustration
• Part 3 of 3: Learning Stress Management Techniques

Frustration is an emotional response of the body to a collision with an obstacle or to the presence of such. Frustration can have both internal and external sources, and no one is immune from the negative impact of the collapse of hopes, lack of support and the fact that everything is not in your favor. However, there are a number of techniques that can help you reduce frustration in your daily life, including changing your outlook towards more realism and better understanding of what is happening, the ability to identify and understand the causes of frustration, and learning relaxation techniques to get yourself into that state. , in which the above changes will become possible.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Understanding the Causes of Frustration and How to Avoid It in Everyday Life

1. 1 Rate your own frustration. To understand if your frustration is out of bounds, you will need to answer a number of questions. As a result, you may come to the conclusion that you are experiencing extreme frustration, in which case it may be wise to see a therapist or start attending an anger management class.
   • Are you often irritable?
   • Does your usual reaction to frustration take the form of blaming and attacking other people?
   • Do you use self-medications such as alcohol, drugs, or excessive food intake?
   • How often do you hurt other people's feelings when you react to frustration?
   • Do you have a residual sense of misunderstanding when the wave of frustration wears off?
   • Do you often lose control of yourself in the middle of a difficult work or school day?
   • When you get upset, do you often have a sense of your own worthlessness or that it is simply impossible to live like this?
2. 2 Understand the potential causes of frustration. Spend some time verbally or in writing about the potential sources of frustration in your life. Be as specific as possible about the triggers for your frustration. Perhaps your colleague or fellow student is calling it, or the way someone does or says something. Try to consider if this source of frustration is something you would like to control but cannot do. For example, you cannot influence the other person's point of view. However, you can decide whether to involve this person in the conversation or not.
   • This will help you understand and accept these things in the long run, which will give you a lot of patience for similar situations in the future.
   • Or you may find that some of the sources of frustration can be completely avoided. For example, if you usually drive home from work on a very busy road with slow traffic, then changing the path to another longer, but less loaded, will avoid traffic jams and unnecessary nerves.
3. 3 Take a close look at the reasons for your frustration. Frustration is not always unreasonable; it can be a perfectly reasonable response to real and difficult problems and challenges in your life.However, by believing that every problem has a solution, frustration can lead to a feeling that something is wrong with you or with your life if you cannot deal with something. Instead of trying to overcome difficulties once and for all, try to focus on cultivating a healthy and rewarding attitude towards the problem. Understand the reason for its appearance in your life, be ready to accept it and learn the appropriate lesson.
   • Understanding that the source of the frustration may not always be valid can help you learn how to deal with situations without taking any unreasonable frustration action. For example, you might think twice before quitting your office job because your printer is constantly chewing on paper.
4. 4 Understand your natural rhythms. Time management is very important, especially when it comes to protecting yourself from frustration. You are absolutely capable of solving problems very often on your way, but not at this moment. Take the time to analyze your energy rhythms throughout the day. For example, you might notice that in the morning you find it easier to deal with difficult tasks, and in the afternoon you are too tired to deal with bills or make serious decisions. Avoid frustration by doing the right thing at the right time when you can handle it.
5. 5 Organize your daily routine. Having a number of routine procedures in life will allow you to reduce its exposure to the influence of momentary decisions. This will help reduce the amount of frustration that comes with regularly encountering new things in your daily life. If your sources of frustration are day-to-day tasks, lateness or lack of time, then it is especially important for you to try to organize and follow a daily routine for yourself.
   • List the key items on your schedule that you simply must do, such as showing up for work or picking up your child from school. Then, in between key events, you can plan things like paying bills, shopping, and having a nice morning workout.
   • Don't overexert yourself trying to put everything on your schedule. smallest details... Instead, try to organize those few hour intervals that usually don't have a specific structure so that they run more smoothly. You will be less frustrated by minor inconveniences, such as traffic or bank difficulties, knowing that you are working towards allocating a specific amount of time for these matters.
6. 6 Set reasonable goals for yourself. Frustration often arises from trying to manipulate or change things that don't really matter. When you're about to be ready to take off or demand from someone, or try to change things yourself in the direction of your own preferences, ask yourself if it will make any difference to you tomorrow (or next week, in next year). Chances are, you can leave everything alone and forget about it.
   • You can also ask yourself if you are deeply concerned about the frustrating situation. If it does not affect your inner values ​​in any way, then you can try to go ahead only just like that. In this case, just laugh at yourself and let go of what is happening to chance.
7. 7 Clean up your communication methods. In a moment of frustration due to negative thoughts and judgments, it is not only you that carry the load, because the people around you can also fall into the trap of your mood. If you find yourself feeling frustrated while talking to someone, try to slow down and start thinking about what you are saying. Ask yourself if it will be helpful to say what comes to your mind first (for example, "Why are you so incompetent?").Thoughtless phrases usually lead only to aggravate and spread frustration.
   • Listen carefully to what the interlocutor says to you, try to understand his reasons. Keep this in mind when preparing your answer, leaning more towards understanding than to hasty judgment.
   • For example, if you are angry that your roommates never do the dishes, go up to them and ask them without prejudice if they know that washing dishes is a shared responsibility, and if something is preventing them from fulfilling their part of the obligation. So your negotiations will take place in a more peaceful manner than if you immediately called your neighbors lazy fools (after all, this is what you will think at the moment of frustration).
8. 8 Use healthy ways to release frustration. If you find it difficult to resolve situations peacefully (and it usually takes time to cultivate this behavior), try to release frustration in a way that does not harm other people. Scream or hit your pillow until you get tired. Sometimes it’s easier to get rid of frustration by releasing anger than by softening it. Therefore, trust that your frustration will go away if you let it out, instead of directly trying to manipulate or intervene in the situation that frustrates you.
   • Do this when you are frustrated for a long time or you have nothing to do with the frustrating situation. Make sure you are in a location where you will not scare other people with your anger release.

Part 2 of 3: Changing Your Own Attitude to Reduce Frustration

1. 1 Embrace the feeling of frustration. You can start making an elephant out of a fly if you feel frustrated about the frustration itself. When you feel frustrated, just try to look at it without the prejudice that it is something "bad" or something that "shouldn't be." Instead of being judgmental, try to accept these feelings without trying to avoid or change them. The practice of accepting your own feelings involves giving up the instinctive desire to resist frustration and teaches you to accept whatever you feel.
   • When you can accept the feeling of frustration, you will have enough composure to understand exactly what action to take (if required) in relation to the source of the frustration.
   • If you try to ignore the frustration, things will only get worse. You will be trapped in a destructive cycle of increasing and growing frustration.
   • Tell yourself that throwing anger at yourself or at other people because of frustration will not fix anything; it can only make you feel worse. Anger over frustration is analogous to childhood outbursts - instead of making any decisions, it just lets others know about your anxiety. And she will not help you in any way, since only you are responsible for your own peace of mind.
2. 2 Let go of unrealistic expectations. People often feel frustrated about unrealistic expectations of themselves and others. Usually a person has a clear vision of what the outcome of a particular situation should be, but when again and again the reality turns out to be completely different, he begins to experience frustration. Ask yourself if you are expecting too much or have perfectionist tendencies. There is a possibility that your frustration is associated with unsatisfactory outcomes for you.
   • Ask yourself if there is anything “good enough” about the situation. Frustration usually dissolves when you make a conscious decision to give up trying to influence events. Let the situation develop on its own instead of trying to control it. Remember that you can only change own reactions, not someone else's behavior.
   • Then rearrange your thinking from expectations to reality, focusing on current positive events, rather than on what you are waiting for, but what may not happen.
   • If there is a particular expectation that you are stuck on, for example, you think, "The person I am dating should be more concerned about me than about their job." - Remind yourself that this is your personal expectation, which may not be realistic for all people. After that, you must make a decision either to accept the person as they are, or to look for another lover for yourself, because the world did not converge on this.
3. 3 Identify and change irrational thinking. People in strong frustration tend to scold and speak in a raised voice. This reflects their exaggerated catastrophic thoughts, which are not entirely adequate to the actual state of affairs. Try to replace these thoughts with rational ones that will help you contain your frustration and deal with your feelings.
   • For example, if you want to say: "Oh no, this is terrible, now everything is gone, I am doomed to fail!" - fight the thought by saying to yourself, "This sad and difficult experience is frustrating for me at the present time, but it won't matter much in the future."
   • As true as it may seem to you, the world does not revolve around you; in fact, frustration problems can arise because no one really cares about your expectations and ideals. If you realize that when things unfold in a different way, you get the opportunity to learn (and even adapt to the unexpected), then it can even be celebrated.
4. 4 Cheer yourself up with humor. The fun fact about frustration is that if you step back from the situation and look at the big picture, you will find it funny! As you are in the process of accepting the situation as it is, and noticing that the problem is not as important as you thought it is, allow yourself a moment to laugh at yourself. Think about how funny it is that a few seconds ago you were so worried about something trivial.
5. 5 Don't forget about gratitude. While frustration often forces people to look to blame for everything and focus on what is not going according to plan, a grateful attitude towards life can be a good antidote. When you start to feel frustrated, try to change your perspective by reminding yourself of what you value in a particular person or in some particulars of the situation. This is a very effective way to reduce frustration with people who are important to you, because they exist in your life thanks to all the good qualities that you value in them.
   • In less personal situations that make you frustrated, such as a long line at a store, focus on how close the store is to your home, what a good selection of items it has, and that you have a great opportunity to buy healthy foods.
   • To develop a grateful attitude, try to colorfully imagine the worst consequences of frustration. If you imagine closing a store or parting with someone who frustrates you, you immediately start thinking about the reasons why you would not want to. These reasons are the things for which you should be grateful to life.
6. 6 Look for comfort in simple things. It will be difficult for you to get frustrated if you admire any little joys in life. Realizing that frustration quickly passes when you regain control of yourself, start spending your free time contemplating nature, eating well, or listening to soothing music. Use your favorite mood elevators as you work your way from frustration to appreciation of the moment.

Part 3 of 3: Learning Stress Management Techniques

1. 1 Take deep breaths. Instead of chest breathing when your shoulders rise, try breathing through your diaphragm. Imagine breathing coming from your belly, filling air pockets along your waistline. Regular use of this type of breathing, especially in stressful situations, can help reduce frustration by giving you the peace of mind to effectively confront the source of the frustration.
   • Yoga (the practice of deep breathing combined with low-intensity exercise) allows you to achieve muscle relaxation and calmness at any time.
2. 2 Exercise. An important factor in the appearance of frustration is the presence of an excess of energy in the body, which is looking for a way out for itself. If your frustration is unreasonably higher than what caused it, then you may need to engage in physical activity. Regular exercise boosts your mood and regulates your body's energy, allowing you to respond appropriately to emerging situations without being overly energized.
   • In addition to lightweight strength training, try doing cardio workouts such as running, swimming, or cycling.
3. 3 Use visualization techniques. Visualization is a relaxation technique that involves mentally presenting images that evoke the feeling of visiting a calm, peaceful place. The key to doing relaxing visualization is to connect as many senses as possible (sight, hearing, touch, smell) to it. To do this, you need to go to a quiet place where you will not be disturbed. In doing so, you should take a relaxed posture, as if you were meditating.
   • For example, if you are visualizing a green meadow, try to imagine the feeling of grass under your feet, forest scents and the singing of birds flying from tree to tree.
4. 4 Learn progressive muscle relaxation. This technique involves consistent tension and relaxation of all major muscle groups. One way to achieve muscle relaxation is to work upward from the tips of the toes to the neck and head. Tighten the target muscle group for 5 seconds and then relax it for another 30 seconds. Repeat the procedure until you reach the very top (or bottom, depending on the chosen relaxation method).
   • Exercises like these can help you understand better when your muscles are tense and when they are relaxed. This is an added bonus, thanks to which you will be able to notice your tension in time and take measures to relax or change your occupation accordingly.
5. 5 Take a break from your computer. Much frustration of modern life gives rise to extensive communication with machines that are unable to empathize with human feelings. If your life involves a lot of computer use, try to take breaks and reduce computer use whenever possible.
   • When it comes to socialization, meeting with a person face to face, and not over the network, can significantly facilitate communication and make it completely relaxed. Try to balance your social media experience with good, healthy personal communication.
6. 6 Take time for yourself. Another source of unreasonable frustration can be the lack of time for yourself personally. At the very least, taking some time for yourself will allow you to learn and start using relaxation techniques. Look at your schedule and try to find a window in it that allows you to devote some time to yourself. It would be ideal to set aside a couple of hours for this. Spend that time on activities that will inspire you, on things that you would not normally be able to do during the work week.
   • If you have an artistic or creative hobby, such as drawing, sculpting, composing music, or cooking, try doing that. Creative endeavors help people feel more connected to their inner selves.