Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Change the Quality of Your Internal Dialogue
• Part 2 of 3: Realign Your Perspective
• Part 3 of 3: Work on Your Relationship
• Tips
• Warnings

Life is full of all kinds of obstacles, and sometimes we tend to let difficulties oppress us. Yes, you cannot control everything that happens to you during the day, but you can always control your reaction to events. You can change your outlook to a more positive one! Try to observe yourself and rethink your attitude to everything around you, and then you will learn to respond positively to events and can improve your outlook on life.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Change the Quality of Your Internal Dialogue

1. 1 Determine if you have negative thinking. You may be sabotaging yourself with negative thoughts and not even realizing it. To begin with, you just need to be aware of your negative thoughts and how they can affect you. Common forms of negative thinking include:
   • Filtering - downplaying the positive and exaggerating the negative.
   • Polarization - a person sees things either good or bad, there can be nothing in between.
   • Catastrophic - the tendency to imagine that only the worst-case scenario can happen.
2. 2 Focus on positive thinking. With a little practice, you can learn to transform your thoughts.For starters, take on one simple rule: do not say anything about yourself that you would not say about a friend. Be kind to yourself. Support yourself the way you would support a close friend.
3. 3 Be more optimistic. There is a common misconception that some people are inherently more positive, while others are inherently negative. In reality, optimism takes practice. Try to deliberately look for the positive side of everything. Instead of thinking, "I've never done this," tell yourself, "This is a great opportunity to learn something new."
4. 4 Do your best to silence your “inner critic”. Each of us has an inner voice that criticizes and doubts us. This voice can tell you that you are not good enough, not talented enough, or do not deserve someone else's love. These thoughts are meant to protect you from failure or pain, but in reality, they only hold you back and drag you down. When your inner critic awakens, ask yourself the following questions:
   • Are these thoughts really true?
   • Could it be that these thoughts are not true? May I admit that they may or may not be true?
   • Can I imagine that there is a possibility that I am good enough, talented enough, and worthy of love?
5. 5 Don't live in the past. If feelings of guilt, pain, or regret about past circumstances are overwhelming, work on letting go of those emotions.
   • Try to actively get rid of these feelings. Write them down and / or say them out loud.
   • Express your pain and / or take responsibility. If you need to say something to someone, do so, even if you need to say "I'm sorry."
   • Forgive yourself and others. Try to always remember that everyone makes mistakes. Nobody is perfect and everyone deserves a second chance (even you).

Part 2 of 3: Realign Your Perspective

1. 1 Stop being a perfectionist. There is no “all or nothing” in life. To demand perfection is to knowingly doom yourself to failure. To overcome perfectionism, you first need to rethink and change your standards. Are you setting a higher bar for yourself than for others? What would you expect from the other person in your situation? If you would be happy with how someone else coped with the task, then acknowledge your merits in this matter.
2. 2 Do something outside of your comfort zone. Pick something that you are probably not very good at. You can do rock climbing, ping pong or painting, for example. Allow yourself to do this task badly. Try to find joy in activities you are not naturally inclined to succeed in. It will open up new possibilities for you, help you let go of perfectionism, and ultimately improve your outlook on life.
3. 3 Slow down the pace of your life and pay more attention to the world around you. Take a moment to just breathe. Try not to rush things. Focus less on what other people think and more on what you are actually experiencing. Enjoy the taste of your food. Look out the window. When we try to be here and now, every moment of our life becomes more enjoyable.
4. 4 Stop making up rules. Surely you carry a lot of "must" and "need" with you. These limitations can lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, or judgment. When you apply these rules to yourself, you shut yourself off from potential sources of joy. When you apply them to others, you run the risk of becoming picky or angry. Let go of life rules that don't serve you well.
5. 5 Let yourself be entertained and laugh. When you don't take things too seriously, you are better able to handle a variety of situations. Humor can make pleasant moments even better, or make sad, tense moments a little more bearable.
   • Joke
   • Rave
   • Find humor in your daily life
6. 6 Focus on the good things in your life. It often turns out that we spend our lives in search of what is right in front of our noses. We chase dreams of money or prestige when in reality all we need is comfort and acceptance. Instead of constantly focusing on what you think you want, try to always be grateful for what you already have. Focus on good health, a recent achievement, or simply waking up this morning.

Part 3 of 3: Work on Your Relationship

1. 1 Surround yourself with positive people. Make sure the people in your life are positive and supportive. Surround yourself with people you can rely on. If people around you often gossip, complain, or create conflict, you should probably start to distance yourself from them. Look for more positive social opportunities in your community - for example, sign up for yoga classes or a travel club.
2. 2 Don't jump to conclusions. When you think you already know what is going to happen, you stop observing what is actually happening. You act according to what you think, not according to what happens in reality. When you know what a person is thinking, you stop listening to him. This can cause serious unnecessary pain or discord. Instead of making hasty judgments, try to actively listen and observe.
3. 3 Don't avoid your feelings. It often happens that we try to freeze ourselves from the inside to avoid sad feelings. But sadness has its benefits: it makes us feel alive. In fact, sadness can have profound revitalizing effects that increase our ability to feel happy. Whenever you have negative feelings, pay attention to them. Process those feelings by writing them down or talking to someone about them.
4. 4 Go about your business. There is a Polish proverb that says: "Not my circus, not my monkeys." This saying reminds us not to be involved in someone else's drama. Such drama and various conflicts can significantly spoil your mood.
   • Try not to get involved in the conflicts of others.
   • Refrain from gossip! Don't talk about people behind their backs.
   • Don't let people drag you into fights or force you to take sides.
5. 5 Be polite and pleasant! Try to treat other people with respect and communicate with them in a polite, positive manner. This will not only make you feel better, but it will also attract other positive people to you. Scientists have proven that when we try to be positive (even when we don't feel happy), we become really happy very quickly.

Tips

• Get in good physical shape. A healthy body helps you manage stress effectively. In a healthy body healthy mind!
• Get involved in your community. Whether it's a church group, a yoga club or a sewing club. Look for interesting opportunities at your school or local community center and try to meet and make friends with new people.
• If you think you may have depression, seek help from a psychologist or doctor who will help you find the appropriate treatment.

Warnings

• Suicide will never be the answer.
• Be careful not to get into conflicts with those who treat you badly. Either avoid them or communicate with them in a calm, mature way.
• If the stress is so overwhelming that you cannot deal with it, call the counseling hotline. There are many resources available at religious and social support centers.
• If you are a victim of domestic or sexual abuse, seek help immediately! Nobody has the right to insult you, but only you can find the courage to speak out about the problem.