Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Prepare for Negotiation
• Part 2 of 3: Convince the Parents
• Part 3 of 3: Dealing with Failure
• Tips
• Warnings

Children do not always agree with their parents - this is normal. Sometimes it can be difficult to convince your parents to let you do something, even if you think you deserve the chance to do it.To convince your parents to let you do something, you need to find good reasons, and only then, when your parents are in a good mood, ask them about it in a calm, polite manner. Do not rush your parents with an answer, give them time to think things over. Show that you are old enough to wait patiently for a decision. Yes, there is a possibility that you will be rejected. But, believe me, it’s not scary, because in the process of “negotiations” with your parents, you will improve your communication skills, which in the future will help you to hear the cherished “yes” more than once.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Prepare for Negotiation

1. 1 Study the question. Make sure you have a good understanding of what you are asking your parents and are able to answer their questions. For example, if you want to ask your parents to finally buy you a mobile phone, find out how much it costs and what the cost of various tariff plans is. Communicating your message in a consistent and organized manner will make it easier for parents to accept your idea because you will appear mature and thoughtful. In addition, you can offer to take some of the costs on yourself.
   • If you want them to let you have a dog, find out how expensive it will be to keep it and how much it will cost to get a puppy. Study especially positive side of the issue - a dog, for example, can unite a family.
   • There are always cons. Parents will definitely find them, so do not ignore these arguments, but think about them in advance. If you don’t think about the cons beforehand, the chances are good that you will be rejected. Prepare ahead of time. Knowing all the pros, of course, is good, but you also need to know all the cons.
2. 2 Prepare reliable sources of information. Parents will “breathe easier” if they know the information they need. People are afraid of the unknown, and the more parents become familiar with the issue, the less fears and doubts they will have. And then, perhaps, they will agree.
   • For example, if you want to spend the night with someone, give them a home number, give the names of the owners of the house and the address. It's a good idea for your parents to know the person you want to spend the night with.
   • If you are looking to get a piercing or tattoo, have an establishment number and several reliable sites dedicated to this subject ready. It will be more difficult if the parents have never seen a tattoo parlor.
3. 3 List the key arguments. It's easy to get bogged down in verbal skirmishes and lose your line of reasoning, missing the key points that you wanted to say in the first place. Write 3-4 main points that should convince your parents. Return to them during the discussion and make sure that these points are fully spelled out before coming up with less convincing arguments like: "I WANT EVERYTHING!"
   • If you are looking to have a pet, the ironclad arguments are easy to find. A pet holds the family together, prolongs life through walking and play, improves health and - teaches responsibility... Who won't be convinced?
4. 4 Get ready for questions like: "Have you cleaned up the room?" Parents often try to change the subject of the conversation. Prepare for this in advance by cleaning the room, washing the tub, living room and so on, do your homework, eat your daily serving of vegetables, in general, do all your duties. This will let your parents know that you can behave responsibly, and they will certainly not go away from the answer.
   • It's best to do your duty responsibly for a few days or a week before asking. Surprise your parents with a clean room for the first time in years. Difficult questions require a lot of preparation.

Part 2 of 3: Convince the Parents

1. 1 Choose the right time to start the conversation. In addition, it is also important a place where your parents will not be nervous and, for sure, they will not refuse you. Start a conversation when your parents look happy and relaxed.Don't ask when your parents will look tired or stressed, or you will only get irritated. The best and safest time for questions is dinner.
   • However, if you want to talk about a pet and the parents seem depressed, you can point out that people who keep dogs or other pets are much less stressed and have more joy in life.
   • If you haven't completed your household chores, don't ask either. This will be another simple (and fair) objection, so deal with your household chores first.
2. 2 Maintain a calm tone during your conversation. If you whine or get angry, your parents are more likely to think that you are not mature enough to get what you ask for. Parents will simply end the conversation immediately until you calm down. Failure to remain calm is further proof that you are not ready. Therefore, avoid whining and anger!
   • Even if you end up not getting what you want, consistently adult behavior will set the tone for future discussions in which you are more likely to get what you want. Your parents will probably decide that you are really growing up. Therefore, by coming back to the question later, you can gain more understanding.
3. 3 Let your parents know it's beneficial to all. Usually, solving any issue causes inconvenience, requires money and / or time costs. Emphasize that everyone will benefit from resolving the issue.
   • For example, a cell phone will let your parents know where you are. What happens if you can't answer the old phone?
   • If you want to return home later than usual, emphasize that this is how your parents can rest. But make sure you can get home so your parents don't have to pick you up by car.
4. 4 Give them time to think. Don't force them to give you an answer immediately. Invite them to come back to the conversation in a couple of hours or days and discuss any questions and concerns they might have. Let them know that you want to discuss this as a mature, responsible adult, and that you are ready to work on all the possible problems. Surprise them with your flawless reasoning.
   • It is better to arrange the time for a new conversation in advance. Otherwise, parents may say that they have not yet discussed this issue, and you will have to painfully search for a new reason to start this conversation. Agree, for example, to return to the conversation next Monday, at dinner - this will be more specific.
5. 5 Find a compromise. Work on an agreement that satisfies both you and your parents. Offer to pay part of your phone bills, or take on extra household chores in return. Make sure they get something for themselves as well. In the end, the issue can be resolved at least partially.
   • If you want a dog, discuss who will watch it, feed it, walk it, and so on. And who buy the dog and will pay for veterinary services. Responsibility does not end with the purchase of a dog (or phone), and this is what parents worry most about.
   • Specify responsibility for default. For example, if you forget to walk your dog, emphasize that you are ready to cut your pocket money and ban evening walks with friends. This will show that you are ready for responsibility and willing to sacrifice yourself.
6. 6 Write down the reasons. Want to get what you need? Write an essay. No not like this. Write a compelling essay. The structure of the essay looks like this:
   • A sentence that reflects the main idea of ​​the topic. Transitional proposal. Thesis (main point).
   • First thesis. Arguments: Evidence of why you need this thing. Explanation of the proof: What exactly does your example show to your parents? Transitional proposal.
   • Thesis number two. Argument number two. Explanation of the argument. Transitional proposal.
   • This thesis shows an alternative view of the subject of the conversation.The argument in this case refutes the first thesis. Explanation of the argument. Transitional proposal.
   • Thesis number four. This thesis may reflect a different view of the problem. It can be omitted. Argument number four. Explanation of the argument. Transitional proposal.
   • Final statement. Final point of view regarding the thesis. A final sentence that reaffirms the main thesis.
   • By composing your essay as described above, you will thoroughly prepare for the conversation.

Part 3 of 3: Dealing with Failure

1. 1 Ask them why. You can always just ask them why they won't let you do what you want. Sometimes in response you can hear a fair remark, and sometimes - nonsense. If you ask as an adult, parents will happily give their arguments. If they have questions or concerns, try to dispel them. Perhaps this will help change their point of view.
   • If you find out why they turned you down, you can find a way to eliminate the disadvantage or talk about it in such a way that your parents agree. For example, if they think you shouldn't buy a cell phone because you're not old enough, show them how mature you can be. Knowing the exact reason for the failure can help you fix the problem.
2. 2 Improve your behavior. Your parents will take into account how your behavior changes. Start getting good grades (if you aren't already), do your homework before your parents ask, and stay out of trouble. Show that you are responsible enough to get what you want.
   • As noted earlier, it will take some "prep" time. A few days of good behavior may not be enough, but weeks? A few weeks of calmness and diligence can really help and show that you are a responsible person.
3. 3 Even if you are turned down, treat your parents well. Don't show that you are very upset. Be nice to your parents and behave normally. They may look like they don't care, but they smile on the inside, which can help in the long run.
   • You can try to instill guilt in your parents, which is not so bad in the current situation. The kinder you treat your parents, the worse they will feel about rejection. In the end, they can change their minds.
4. 4 Write a letter. Sometimes parents respond better to well-written arguments. Write them a persuasive letter with a strong case for what you deserve what you are trying to get. Parents will be surprised by the adult and professional approach to solving the issue.
   • Write the letter by hand and hand it beautifully. This way parents will see the work done and appreciate the importance of the question. If you were able to write a letter beautifully, perhaps you will take good care of the dog, walk it, feed it, and so on.
5. 5 Change your strategy. If the first persuasion method didn't work, try changing the arguments. If some facts or arguments do not convince the parents, do not come back to them over and over again. Show them that you have many great reasons to get what you want.
   • For example, in the case of a mobile phone, the argument about security and control may not work. Then tell me that you need a phone to find friends at school or for a part-time job. Or that it's a sale now, and the phone can be bought very cheaply. Think about what argument might work?
6. 6 Humble yourself. Sometimes you should just accept their decision for now. Just say, “Okay, thanks for talking to me about this,” and walk away. You can try another time. If you continue to demonstrate mature behavior to your parents, they can change their minds. After all, you get older and more mature every day.
   • Come back to the conversation later, but take your time.If your parents say that you can discuss this, for example, after New Years, wait about a week after New Years. Respect their wishes and they will respect yours.
7. 7 Consider reducing requests. If you wanted a dog, but your parents said no, take it easy. If they don't want to take a German Shepherd, maybe they'll settle for a goldfish or a hamster? Who knows, maybe you just need a little friend to take care of.

Tips

• Become mature and responsible for at least a month before asking. Choose a time that is convenient for everyone. Once you get a positive (or negative) response, don't change your behavior. The next time, your parents will be harder to convince with your good behavior if you stop behaving right away. Therefore, continue to behave in a mature and responsible manner so that your parents see how you can behave. In the end, they can change their mind to a positive one.
• Do what your parents don't want you to do. This will lead the parent to the idea that the child should be rewarded for doing the right thing. For example: "Yesterday you behaved very well, here is some money." "Ma, I don't need money, I would just like to go to the movies with friends on Friday if possible."
• Give your parents time to think. You don't have to constantly ask if they made a decision.
• If this concerns an event in which parents can participate, invite them too. Your parents will be happy to spend time with you.
• You don't have to beg your parents every day just because they are in a good mood. Instead, show them what you want. For example, if you want to get a dog, ask them if they can take a walk with a friend who has a dog. This will help them understand what you want.
• Don't throw tantrums. Show your frustration. This will help them understand that you really need what you ask for. But do not overdo it, on other days behave as usual - this way you show your parents that you are an adult. If immediately after asking you to act as if nothing happened, they will most likely refuse you.
• Make sure you do all your homework and treat your parents with respect the week before you ask. Be sure to also tell them about the future positives that will arise if you get what you want. Never show your parents that you are in doubt about your desire - always speak confidently.
• Remember that parents are concerned about the safety of their children, and each parent has different opinions and views on what you can do.
• Listen to their arguments against. Then bring your own. Try to dispel your doubts with strong arguments. For example: "I want those shoes over there." - "No, they are bad for the feet." - “And I will insert orthopedic insoles. And I'll add my own money. "
• If this is very important to you, do it without asking permission. After that, be sure to ask for forgiveness. Doing this, of course, is worth it in extreme cases. For example, say your friend is going to move to another country, and you have planned a joint trip by car.

Warnings

• DON'T KNOW THEM FROM DAY TO DAY! If you stand your ground and beg them every day, then, probably, your parents will punish you, and you will never get yours.
• Don't argue; so you reduce your chances of getting what you want, behave like a reasonable, mature, adult person.
• Don't expect to starve your parents. Show respect better and you will be respected in return.
• If they refuse you, do not do it behind their back. Sooner or later, they will discover everything and stop trusting you.
• If they said no, don't whine! Clarify the reason for the refusal, and try to explain to them in a polite manner how wrong they are.For example, if you want to have a pet, and your parents think that caring for it will fall on their shoulders, show how much you want to have a pet and prove that you will take care of the animal after all!
• Don't overdo it. Parents will understand what's what if you offer to paint the house.