Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Prepare for an emotional response
• Method 2 of 3: Deal with grief
• Method 3 of 3: Deal with the stigma
• Tips
• Warnings

Your spouse, child, parent, friend, or other person close to you has recently committed suicide. The earth is slipping from under your feet. The loss of a loved one can be devastating in any case, and knowing that he has decided to commit suicide can add a whole host of new problems. Over time, you will be able to fully experience the grief and come to terms with the loss. In the meantime, you can learn skills that will help you understand your emotions and take care of yourself during this tragic period.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Prepare for an emotional response

1. 1 Get ready for shock. Very often, family members and friends feel numb when they first hear the news of a loved one committing suicide. At such moments, they may say, "I can't believe it!" - because it seems to them something unreal. This feeling will eventually pass when you come to terms with the death of a loved one.SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Crisis Text Line

   
   
   Free 24/7 Crisis SMS Support Crisis Text Line provides free 24/7 SMS support in crisis situations. A person caught in this situation can text a message to 741741 to get help from a trained crisis psychologist. The service has already exchanged more than 100 million messages with Americans in crisis situations and is expanding rapidly.

   Crisis Text Line
   Free 24/7 crisis support by SMS

   Seek help if you have symptoms of PTSD. An expert from Crisis Text Line explains: “It can be incredibly difficult to deal with the loss of a loved one in such a traumatic way. If after his suicide you are haunted by memories or other symptoms of trauma, discuss your emotions with someone you trust. You can talk to a family member or contact a psychologist and ask for help. Keep a list of things with you that will help you stay on track when you are overwhelmed by a wave of memories. "

   
   
2. 2 Know that it's okay to be confused. Confusion is another common emotion commonly experienced by people who lose a loved one through suicide. Perhaps you and others are constantly wondering why this happened or why this person did not show any signs of their plight.
   • You may be constantly haunted by the need to make sense of death. Trying to recreate the last weeks, days, or hours of a loved one's life may help you better understand their motives. However, you must accept that there will always be unanswered questions after suicide.
3. 3 Prepare to be angry and blame yourself or others. You may notice that you are angry about the suicide of a loved one. Chances are, through your anger, you blame yourself for not seeing any sign of your loved one suffering. You can also chastise God, other family members, and the psychologist for not doing enough, or a loved one for not reaching out to you for help.
   • Admit it is common to blame yourself or feel guilty, but understand that it is not your fault. Taking responsibility may help you cope with loss at times when you are truly overwhelmed by the thought that your life and the lives of those close to you are not in your control.
4. 4 Deal with the feeling of being rejected or abandoned. After the suicide of a loved one, you may feel that you are not good enough. You may be thinking that if your relationship with this person was fulfilling, then he would not have committed suicide. You are upset that he left you to deal with this devastating pain on your own.
   • It's okay to feel abandoned or rejected. Remember, however, that suicide is a very difficult test for the victim and those left behind. Understand that your loved one made this decision because he was unable to cope with his life or certain circumstances - and this does not cast a shadow on you.

Method 2 of 3: Deal with grief

1. 1 Be prepared for grief to be cyclical. Despite the belief that grief is a process, it doesn't really work that way. Emotions can change, and you may find that the wave of grief recedes, then again covers you headlong. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and give yourself time to come to terms with what happened.
   • It may take a while before you figure out what works for you. Over time, everything will start to improve.

   Advice: Everyone grieves differently, so your friends and family may experience grief differently from you. Show respect for how they grieve and ask them otherwise.

   
   
2. 2 Contact your loved ones. After the news that a loved one has committed suicide, you may have become estranged from friends and family members. Other people can elicit strong emotional responses that involve feelings of guilt or resentment. Remember that these people can be just as upset about death as you are. Instead of isolating yourself, spend more time with those who also loved the person. Perhaps this will bring you comfort.
3. 3 Revive fond memories. When you get together and try to comfort each other, take some time to remember the good days you spent with the deceased person. You can understand that you are fixated on the "why" and "why" he committed suicide, but these questions will not bring peace to your soul.
   • Perhaps by recreating favorite memories, you can return to the time when this person was happy. Make a decision to remember it this way.
4. 4 Stick to a daily routine. As soon as you get yourself together, try to return to your usual life. It will be very difficult at first. It may even take a tremendous amount of effort to get dressed or to clean up the house. No, nothing will be the same, but returning to your daily routine will likely help you find a sense of purpose and organization.
5. 5 Eat and exercise properly. When mourning the death of a loved one, you can easily forget about food. Taking care of yourself is probably the last thing on your mind. Nonetheless, eating balanced meals every day will give you the strength to withstand this challenge. Exercising - even if it's just walking the dog in the yard - can help numb sadness or anxiety and improve your mood.
   • As you develop your daily routine, include a meal and exercise schedule so you can properly saturate your body during this stressful period.
6. 6 Do something that calms you down. All the disturbing thoughts and feelings associated with the suicide of a loved one can cause sadness, anxiety, or even depression. Relaxing activities can help ease these feelings and give you new strength.
   • These activities include anything you find soothing, such as wrapping yourself in a warm blanket, drinking hot tea, taking a hot bath, lighting scented candles, playing soothing music, sitting in front of the fireplace, or reading a good book.
   • If you are a teenager who has difficulty expressing your feelings and relieving stress in other ways, you may find it easier to display your emotions in a coloring book or on a blank piece of paper.
7. 7 Don't beat yourself up for the fun. Attending social events can be a good way to take your mind off grief and remind yourself that despite the tough times now, life will get better in the future.
   • Taking a short break from your emotions will not diminish the seriousness of what you are going through. Better to go out with friends, watch a comedy, or dance to your favorite songs you listened to with the deceased can be a great way to rekindle your strength to cope with grief.
   • You may find yourself falling out laughing and then bursting into tears. It's okay too.
8. 8 Get professional help. People who have experienced the suicide of loved ones often better understand what the deceased was experiencing when they turn to a psychologist. A psychologist can explain confusing mental health problems that your loved one may have struggled with. A therapist can also help you work through your feelings and develop helpful coping skills. This is especially helpful if you are witnessing suicide, as this traumatic experience can manifest itself in the form of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
   • Ask your therapist for guidance, or find a therapist who specializes in dealing with people grieving after loved ones commit suicide.
   • Unfortunately, compulsory medical insurance in Russia (as well as in most CIS countries) does not cover the services of a psychotherapist. However, in some cities there are centers for free psychological assistance to the population, where highly qualified specialists are employed. If your employer or you pay for voluntary health insurance (VHI) with the fullest possible coverage, it probably includes psychotherapy as well. Find out from your insurance company whether your policy covers such services, to what extent and what specialists working on VHI can advise.

Method 3 of 3: Deal with the stigma

1. 1 Study statistics related to suicide. Study the relevant information yourself, provide it to loved ones in order to better understand why your loved one decided to commit suicide. In terms of the number of suicides per capita, Russia exceeds the world average by 2.5 times (26.5 cases per 100 thousand people - versus 10.5). Higher - only in Lesotho and Guyana. If we take into account only male suicides, then the Russian Federation is the absolute world leader at all. The suicide rate among Russian men is 48.3 per 100 thousand of the population.
   • Doing some research on the causes of suicide can help you better understand what your loved one has been through, and you may even be able to save the lives of others in the future.
2. 2 Do not be silent about your grief. Unlike other causes of death, survivors of a loved one's suicide are often isolated. Because of the stigma surrounding suicide, these people are very reluctant to discuss their emotions with others. You may even want to hide the details of death to avoid the stigma.
   • Talking to friends and family about your thoughts and feelings is essential to the healing process. Show courage and seek out people with whom you can share your story.
   • It is not necessary to share this with everyone around you, but open up to a couple of people whose support you can count on. If you hide these issues, those around you will not learn to recognize the warning signs (which could potentially save someone's life).
3. 3 Join a support group for those affected by the topic of suicide. Support from others who are also coping with the loss of a loved one through suicide can help you find peace and cope with the stigma.
   • You can join a group led by a psychologist or someone who has personal experience dealing with grief after a loved one's suicide. Explore a few local groups to see if you feel comfortable opening up and sharing your story.
   • If you are unable to find a local suicide support group, you can search online for options.

Tips

• Despite differing views on this issue, many people believe that getting busy can help overcome grief. Of course, you shouldn't hide from your emotions by working or constantly doing something, however, keeping yourself active can ward off depression and dark thoughts.
• Find a counseling center or support group if you have a particularly difficult time and have no one to turn to. It is also useful to do this in order to look at the situation with a fresh perspective that friends or relatives of the deceased cannot provide.

Warnings

• You may find that during the grieving process, you will find a desire to develop bad habits (for example, biting your nails, smoking, using drugs / alcohol). Perhaps you once did all of this, and now you are thinking about how to take up the old.In this case, seek help immediately! To get started, you can contact your therapist (he may recommend a good therapist for you) or local community organizations, where there may be many programs designed to help you.
• Also, report any lingering thoughts of death, either yourself or others.
• Any lingering depression should be reported to a doctor immediately.
• If you have a desire to commit suicide, contact your nearest psychotherapy center, where qualified specialists can help you. In addition, you can call the emergency psychological hotline of the Ministry of Emergency Situations at 8 (495) 989-50-50, 8 (499) 216-50-50 or 051 (for residents of Moscow) if you live in Russia. If you live in another country, call your local mental health emergency hotline.