Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 2: Prepare for the conversation
• Part 2 of 2: Talk to your parents
• Warnings

Sometimes it’s difficult for children to talk to their parents, much less to discuss such serious problems as eating disorders. It should be understood that eating disorders are a real danger and should be communicated to your parents. Understand that while starting a conversation can be difficult, you ultimately need the love, support, and advice of those closest to you.

Steps

Part 1 of 2: Prepare for the conversation

1. 1 Assess your reasons. Ask yourself why you want to tell your parents about your problem. Do you want them to start treating you differently? Do you need their support? Or do you want to ask if they are willing to pay for a visit to a psychotherapist to help solve your problem?
   • If you have an idea of ​​what you want to get out of the conversation, it will be easier for you to direct the conversation in the right direction.
2. 2 Prepare materials. Gather information about what eating disorders are and how they are addressed. You need a detailed explanation of what is usually done in such a situation. Print articles from the Internet or get thematic brochures from a school psychologist.
   • Your parents may not know what eating disorders are, so your content should be up-to-date with the background information.
   • You can find many articles on the subject on the internet.
3. 3 Choose a quiet place and the right time. You want a quiet, private place where you can talk to your parents. If you have siblings and do not want them to be present during the conversation, choose a time when only you and your parents will be at home.
   • If there is always someone at home, create the right environment yourself. Invite the parents to talk in a quiet room behind a closed door.
   • If you don't have a suitable room, you can go to the nearby park.
4. 4 Breathe deeply. Before starting a conversation, you need to calm down. It’s not surprising if you’re nervous before such an important conversation with your parents. Inhale through your mouth for 5 seconds, hold your breath for a few seconds, and then exhale through your nose for 6-8 seconds.
   • Repeat until you calm down and relax.
5. 5 Talk to a friend. If you have a friend who has experienced a similar situation or who has a difficult conversation with his parents, then ask him for advice or support. At a minimum, this will allow you to reduce stress; as a maximum, you will have an idea of ​​how serious conversations between children and parents go.
   • Remember that the relationship between children and parents is different in different families.

Part 2 of 2: Talk to your parents

1. 1 Tell your parents what you expect from the conversation. Let your parents know that you have something important to say to them, and also clarify what you want to get out of the conversation. You can pursue different goals:
   • You want to be simply listened to and offered emotional support.
   • You need advice.
   • You need financial support to get help from a psychotherapist.
2. 2 Start from afar. Let your parents know that you want to talk to them about an important problem face to face. Start the conversation by saying that you have a problem, but don't go into details. Here are some options for starting a conversation from afar:
   • “I need to discuss a problem with you. Can we talk in private? "
   • “I have a problem and I need your advice. Let's walk and talk? "
   • “I need your help with a personal matter; I would like to talk about it in private. "
3. 3 Consider your parents' point of view. Remember: they may not know something about you or look at things differently. Always keep their point of view in mind when speaking to make sure you understand each other correctly.
   • Watch their faces as you talk. If they are confused, then ask what point needs to be clarified.
4. 4 Tell everything you know. Tell your parents everything you know about your eating disorder. Do you suspect you have this problem, but do not know the exact diagnosis? There are different types of disorders that require different treatments and affect your health in different ways. That's all your parents need to know. Describe what you are dealing with:
   • anorexia nervosa, when weight loss occurs due to malnutrition;
   • psychogenic overeating, when frequent cases of excessive food intake occur;
   • bulimia nervosa, when there are frequent over-eating and follow-up action to reduce weight gain (eg, induce vomiting);
   • malnutrition without further clarification (NOS).
     • This may include night food syndrome (overeating at night), gastrointestinal clearance disorder (cleansing without overeating first), or atypical anorexia nervosa (when weight is within normal limits).
5. 5 Give parents time to reflect on what they have heard and ask questions. After you've managed to be alone with your parents and tell them about your eating disorder, you need to let them ask questions. Answer as honestly as possible.
   • If you do not know the answer to one of the questions posed, then say so.
   • If you do not want to answer the question, please say so. Remember that your parents love you and want to help you. If their question is related to your upset, think carefully before refusing to answer.
6. 6 Tell them your plan of action. After the conversation, remind your parents of your goals and the kind of help you expect to receive. Perhaps you are planning to undergo treatment in a specialized clinic or sign up for a psychotherapist.
   • If you don't have a plan of action or just want to share your feelings with your parents, ask them for advice. This is fine, and your parents will be happy to give you valuable advice.
7. 7 Give them reading materials. If you have prepared reading materials, pass them on to your parents. Let them read the information, but immediately arrange the next conversation.
   • Do not overwhelm your parents with too much information or information that does not directly relate to your problem.
8. 8 Don't complain or argue. Sometimes conversations provoke unnecessary emotions. You may feel that your parents are not understanding, trusting, or recognizing the real threat of an eating disorder. Regardless of the development of events, try to behave in an adult way, as avoiding the essence of the conversation will only alienate you from the original goal.
   • If you find that your parents do not understand you or the conversation is upsetting you for some other reason, then it is better to continue it later, when you calm down.
9. 9 Remind them that you are not accusing them of anything. It is very likely that your parents can see their fault in your upset. It is important to stay on top of the conversation, discuss parental support or advice, or make a decision about treatment.

Warnings

• Eating disorders are a real danger! Notify your parent or guardian immediately.