Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 2: How to Build Trust
• Part 2 of 2: How to Regain Trust

Trust is hard to build, easy to lose, and very, very hard to regain. Trust is a necessary foundation for any happy relationship. If you want to build a trusting relationship with a girl you are interested in, your best assistants in this matter will be such qualities as honesty, sincerity, reliability and confidence. While the title of this article promises tips on how to gain a girl's trust, don't be fooled into thinking that trust is something you can artificially create. Trust is something that can be gifted to you, and all you can do is try as hard as you can to earn it.

Steps

Part 1 of 2: How to Build Trust

1. 1 Try to win the girl's trust in the same way that you won the trust of other people you care about. However, it is worth noting that winning the trust of your dear girl, as well as regaining the trust of a friend whom you offended, or a spouse whom you betrayed are completely different things. The assumption that girls and women have certain requirements that will help you gain their trust often becomes the basis of stereotypes and unfair generalizations. But there is a universal tip, described in the article "How to build trust", which will be a great starting point for everyone. According to this advice, there are several basic requirements required for a trust relationship:
   • be reliable
   • be honest
   • be open
   • be sincere.
   • More detailed ideas on how to build a girl's trust come from these basic points.
2. 2 Suppose this girl has already been betrayed or offended at some point. In this case, the old saying will be very justified: "if you burn yourself in milk, you will blow on the water." Perhaps someone close to her once undermined her trust, and now she fears that she will be hurt again.
   • If she hesitates and can't trust you because of past disappointments, don't take it personally. Take this situation as a challenge and try harder to build her trust!
   • For example, you will be helped by the "reviews" of your mutual friends or acquaintances, which could confirm your reliability. Perhaps this will help break down the wall of skepticism that has grown from betrayal in the past. Collect as much evidence as possible that you can be trusted, but remember that your own words and actions play the most important role in this matter.
3. 3 Be extremely honest about your intentions. It is always easier to trust a person who is open and honest in his intentions, no matter what it may be: work, business, love or life in general. Evasion and deception about your motives towards this girl do not encourage the girl to want to develop a trusting relationship with you. When it comes to relationships, be honest about whether you want a little romance or are hoping for something more serious and lasting (or maybe you just haven't decided what you need yet?)
   • If you want to show concern or respect for a girl you met at a party, don't fool her by telling her that you are looking for a serious, long-term relationship when in reality your goal is different. Show that you can be trusted by being open and honest with her from the start, and then she is more likely to trust you in return.
4. 4 Be honest with yourself. Don't try to sound like someone you are not just to please the girl and then gain her trust. Even if at first you manage to deceive her, over time she will still understand that you are pretending. If you are dishonest to her from the beginning, it will be almost impossible to regain her trust.
   • Be yourself - then if you are a good person, that will be enough to build affection and trust. It is much easier to trust someone who looks, talks, and acts like they are perfectly comfortable with being themselves. If you yourself know that you are worthy of trust, over time, the girl will understand this too.
5. 5 Keep your promises. Reliability is a crucial factor of trust, both in a relationship with a colleague and in a romantic relationship with a girl. The girl needs to know that she can always trust you about what you promised to do (as well as what you promised NOT to do). It is such a person that you can trust.
   • Be responsible for your words and actions. If you said you'd pick her up at 7pm, do so. If you've made a promise to get rid of a bad habit that bothers her, do your best to keep the promise. Her trust will be a great reward for your efforts.
6. 6 Be gentle (in moderation). Many girls (and guys, for that matter) appreciate the sudden light hug, the desire to hold the hand, the gentle kiss, and the shoulder to rely on. Show your girlfriend that you understand her wants and needs, that you are always there - this is the best and most effective way to build her trust.
   • Of course, accepting that she just doesn't like cuddling, as well as showing that you know and accept her personal boundaries about physical contact in your relationship, can also help build her trust. Sometimes it’s not only what you do, but also what you DO NOT do to build trust. If a girl feels that you do not understand her (or press on her, adjusting the pace of the relationship), she is unlikely to be able to confide in you.
7. 7 Communicate trusting each other. In fact, it's almost impossible to build relationships without regular, honest and open communication. Prove to yourself that you are an active, passionate person, that you are a good listener. Share your thoughts, be open about how you feel and think. And gradually (but definitely) you will gain her trust.
   • In the business world, simple, straightforward phrases have been found to help build trust between partners and win over the customer. The same approach is effective in romantic relationships. The phrases “thank you,” “yes,” “I will,” “what do you think about this?”, “I believe you,” and “I understand” clearly and clearly show a focus on the interests and needs of the other person.

Part 2 of 2: How to Regain Trust

1. 1 Don't take it for granted. In fact, trust is a lot like Humpty Dumpty in the nursery rhyme: it's easy to break and very difficult to rebuild.If you once undermined a girl's trust in you, even "all the royal cavalry, all the king's men" will not be able to regain that trust.
   • You should never assume that you are worthy of a second chance, especially if you have seriously hurt her feelings, for example, by cheating or serious deception. Building trust is hard, and getting that trust back is even harder. Don't be fooled into thinking you've done your best and done your best, because in reality, whatever you do may not be enough.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Allen Wagner, MFT, MA

   
   
   Family Therapist Allen Wagner is a Licensed Family and Marriage Therapist based in Los Angeles, California. He received his MA in Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2004. He specializes in working with individual clients and couples, helping them improve relationships. Together with his wife, Talia Wagner, he wrote the book "Married Roommates".

   Allen Wagner, MFT, MA
   Family psychotherapist

   When it comes to treason, you cannot do without the help of a psychotherapist. Family therapist Allen Wagner says: “If your partner has cheated on you, you both definitely need to see a therapist. You shouldn't try to deal with this on your own. Otherwise, the psychological trauma and resentment will reach such a degree that you simply cannot overcome them. You need a third-party, objective person to help you discuss things openly and transparently, and also work to restore trust. In addition, a therapist can help you understand why your partner cheated on you. Often this happens because a person wants to feel full. "

   
   
2. 2 Be honest, but don't get hung up on details. The first step to regaining trust is always the same - to be completely honest (both with the girl and with yourself) about what you did wrong, why you undermined the trust. Give serious consideration to why you did this to lose her trust. Be prepared to patiently answer her questions and accept her anger and sadness.
   • Never try to play down your guilt over the act that caused her to lose confidence in you. This is a serious business, and you should take it that way if you want to ever regain this person's trust. When you are honest and open about what happened, try not to dwell on it or get into unpleasant details. At some point, you both need to be willing to move forward in order to rebuild trust. You cannot control the pace at which she experiences this, but you can control yours.
3. 3 Apologize regardless of the circumstances. Never try to justify your actions that made the girl lose confidence in you. You screwed up - it's your fault and yours alone. Now you need to do whatever it takes to regain the trust you lost with your deed. As with the details of what happened, a sincere apology is needed to start fresh and work to regain trust.
   • Mind you, an apology in the style of “Sorry, I screwed up. I promise, I will not do this anymore, ”- it won’t help! Try something like this: “I'm sorry that I lied to you about such an important thing. I know I hurt you, and this is all, of course, my fault. I hope you give me a chance to earn your forgiveness and regain your trust, even if I don't deserve it right now. "
4. 4 Forgive yourself. Sometimes people are so focused on admitting their mistakes and begging for forgiveness that they forget to forgive themselves. We all make stupid mistakes and hurt the feelings of the people we care about. You don't need to downplay the importance of what you did, but you need to be able to accept that fact and leave it behind if you want to move on. If you yourself cannot leave it in the past, the girl is unlikely to be able to do it.
   • Restoring trust is hard work and requires real life changes. If you are too busy tormenting yourself, you are unlikely to be able to do the global work that is necessary to restore trust.
   • Remember, you cannot return what you have already done. All you can do is try to correct your mistake and prove that you have learned a lesson from this situation and will never repeat it again.
5. 5 Be patient and understanding. It takes time to earn forgiveness and rebuild trust, and in that sense, you should focus on the pace of the person being hurt. Our words and actions help us understand if we are successfully working in this direction, but do not rush things. Sometimes all we can do is just wait and hope.
   • It should be expected that everything will not end so well. It would seem that everything was going well, and then suddenly you realize that she again does not even want to see you. The fact is that the pain of betrayal will never disappear and, like any old wound, it will flare up from time to time, sometimes even for no reason.
6. 6 Work on it together. You have undermined her trust, and you will have to do a lot of hard work to get it back. However, the girl should also be interested in restoring trust between you. Trust can only be restored if you both work on it. If a girl cannot or does not want to help you in this matter, this is a sure sign that a breakup is inevitable.
   • Open and honest communication is essential to building trust, but it is doubly important to rebuilding it. Be prepared to talk and listen a lot. Don't hold back your thoughts and ask the girl not to hold back hers. Consider asking a psychologist for help - they are an expert on relationships and breakups. If the girl herself voiced such an idea, feel free to agree. If this is your idea, give her time and space to think about the proposal.