Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Set yourself up for success
• Part 2 of 4: Improve the act itself
• Part 3 of 4: Try new things
• Part 4 of 4: Get Outside Help
• Tips
• Warnings

Attention:this article is intended for people over 18 years of age. Sex is not fun? Or does it only bring you painful sensations? Perhaps you are too worried about how good your partner is? Whatever your problem, if you work on it, you can improve your sex life.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Set yourself up for success

1. 1 Have safe sex. It will be easier for you to relax and enjoy yourself if you are confident that you are having safe sex. With this in mind, make a plan to make your sex life as safe as possible. Before having sex, try to get to know your partner better, talk openly about your sex stories. Use a condom or rubber dam every time you have sex and throughout intercourse.
   • Only latex and polyurethane condoms protect against HIV and sexually transmitted infections. Polyurethane condoms can break more easily than latex condoms. Use a condom every time you have vaginal, anal, or oral sex. A rubber dam is a latex barrier that you can use for oral sex while giving pleasure to a woman. This will help prevent the spread of HIV and STDs. You can also cut open the condom and use it as a barrier.
   • Women should also consider getting a papilloma virus vaccine to help prevent problems such as vaginal growths and cervical cancer. The papillomavirus vaccine can cause fainting and allergic reactions in some people, so check with your doctor about whether getting vaccinated is the right option for you.
2. 2 Love your body. Feeling awkward or ashamed of your body can make sex uncomfortable. If you are suffering from mirror reflection issues that negatively affect your sex life, make it a priority to correct what you can fix and accept what you cannot fix. Accepting your body is the key to a happy personality and the first step to a better sex life.
   • Try to look at yourself in the mirror every day and find new positive features of your body each time.
   • You can also try exploring your body sexually. Women who masturbate experience significantly more sexual pleasure than those who do not. Knowing what makes you feel good will make it easier for you to communicate your needs to your partner.
3. 3 Communicate openly with your partner. Communication will improve your sexual satisfaction and be beneficial for your physical intimacy. It can be difficult for you to establish and maintain open communication with your partner, especially if you are uncomfortable with sex and your desires in bed. Think about what you have to say and still feel comfortable and safe.
   • As well as you know each other well, your partner still cannot read minds. If you want to change something in your intimate life, then you need to talk about it. If your partner is really serious about you, they will be willing to listen and respect your needs.
   • Communicating your sexual needs can even bond you and your partner even more closely.
4. 4 Tell us what you like. You need to be open with your partner about your attitude and feelings about sex. Also, be sure to ask what your partner likes and wants in bed. Being shy or shy will bring awkwardness and shyness to your partner, which can only worsen the experience of intimacy for both of you. Let yourself enjoy the experience and show your partner that you love it too.
   • Don't judge your partner for what they like. It can be scary for both of you to voice such innermost thoughts, so listen to them without interrupting.If your partner likes what you don't like, let him know that you are not interested in it, but so that he does not feel like a strange or bad person because of his desires.
   • Avoid using euphemisms whenever possible. They are unclear and may make it harder for your partner to understand you. Use language that is comfortable for you, but remember that sex is not “wrong” or “dirty”. In addition, the use of clear and accessible terminology will be helpful.
5. 5 Let your partner know which techniques are not working for you. There are times when what you try in the bedroom doesn't feel like it. Instead of blaming someone else, use sentences starting with "I" and "me" to express what doesn't work for you. If you're more open about what you don't like, you can fix it. This will only improve your sex.
   • For example, tell your partner, “I think our sex is too rushed. What can we do to fix this? " This sentence conveys the problem you had with sex, but doesn't blame anyone for it. Instead, it indicates that there is something you can work on together.
   • Express thoughts positively when possible, for example: "I really like it when you do this and I would like to experience it more often", or "This works better for me than this, maybe we should try the first one?"
6. 6 Monitor your partner. Consider his pleasure as your main goal. Of course, it's important that you get what you expect from your sexual relationship, but it's worth setting a good example. The more you try for your partner and the better feelings you give him, the more he will try in return. The key to good sex is to be sure to consider and acknowledge your partner's reactions to the process.
   • If you notice that your partner is frowning, stop... You can hurt him with your actions. When you hear your partner moan, repeat the movement you just made because it is likely to be enjoying your partner. The main thing is to monitor your partner during intercourse to make sure that he also likes what you are doing.
   • Immediately stop if he says no.
   • Remember, just because your partner doesn't say no doesn't mean they like the situation. Obtaining consent is an ongoing process. After all, your goal is a mutually resounding, repetitive "yes!"

Part 2 of 4: Improve the act itself

1. 1 Ditch the stereotypes of porn movies. Porn, like all other films, simply does not reflect reality. The pornography is filmed and edited to look good on screen, but it usually does not reflect what is actually pleasurable and what actually constitutes real sexual intercourse.
   • Try to start without any expectations of sex. Just let it flow naturally.
2. 2 Take your time, enjoy. Enjoy every minute of this experience. It does not have to be a go-in-out operation. Enjoy all the sensations of a sexual experience. Pay attention to your partner's erogenous zones and take time to caress them. Take your time and explore your partner's entire body. There is no need to pay attention exclusively to the parts that are familiar to caress.
   • You can also play games with each other to spice up sex. Always focus on the connection between you and the intrigue to keep the sex interesting.
   • Remember to keep kissing. If you return to kissing sex from time to time, it can be a great way to stretch the pleasure.
3. 3 Focus on foreplay. Before moving on to the main event, take the time to kiss, caress, and pleasure each other. Foreplay will prolong sex and give it sensuality and romance.Women in particular find that foreplay helps them create the right mood, while men are usually more ready to start at any moment.
   • It is in your best interest to tune your woman to the right wave. This will increase the amount of natural lubrication produced and allow her to have more sex enjoyment.
4. 4 Keep complimenting. Your partner should not for a second doubt that you consider him the sexiest person on the planet, and possibly in the entire Universe. When you see what you like, do not forget to tell your partner about it.
   • You don't have to talk about it every time, just try to fully enjoy it. Let your partner know that you, too, are enjoying their body.
5. 5 Use the correct lubricant. Lubricants can greatly improve the enjoyment of sex. But good sex is essential to using quality lubricants. Sexual intercourse involves a lot of friction, and in most cases friction is pleasant. However, it also has its drawbacks, such as chafing or discomfort. Lubricants can be purchased at most stores and pharmacies, and online. You can also get them through your doctor or sexual health clinic.
   • Choose lubricants that do not contain glycerin. It leads to vaginal dryness. Do not use perfumed products or other materials that can dry your vagina, such as shower gels, lotions, soaps, or bath oils. For the correct use of lubricants, follow the manufacturer's instructions.
   • There are three types of lubricants: water-based, silicone-based or oil-based. Water-based lubricants are easy to rinse off and are easy to find in stores. They can also be used with condoms, they can prevent condom rupture and cause fewer genital symptoms than silicone-based lubricants.
   • Silicone based lubricants last longer than others and are the best choice for anal sex. Oil-based lubricants should not be used with latex condoms as they can rupture.
6. 6 Feel free to make sounds. When you are having sex, try to make sounds of satisfaction for your partner. Of course, you need not to overdo it, but the usual moans and sighs will let your partner know that his actions are not only pleasant to you and should be repeated, they will also make it clear that you are enjoying sex with him. This will increase his enjoyment and encourage him to put in more effort.
   • A recent study found that partners who make sounds during sex tend to enjoy it more. So just do what you feel like doing, and if you feel like expressing your pleasure out loud, do so.

Part 3 of 4: Try new things

1. 1 Indulge in your fantasies. You don't have to take big steps in what you love about sex, but small quirks can add variety and sparkle to your sex life. The problem is that sex can easily become a routine, especially if you've been with the person for long enough. For sex to be always interesting and to improve it, you need to abandon the monotony. Nothing will be more helpful in bidding farewell to boredom than silk blindfolds, fluffy handcuffs, and a fun bad cop game.
   • Experiment with sex toys. Including sex accessories in your sex life will enhance your pleasure, and most sex toys can be enjoyed by both partners.
   • Certain sex items can add sparkle to your intimate life. Do some research to see what you might be missing out on in this matter.
   • Many people have very specific sexual fantasies that they are embarrassed to share with a partner.If you're comfortable enough with your partner, share your fantasies with each other.
2. 2 Continue to maintain unpredictability. You may know exactly what to do in order to instantly bring your partner to orgasm, but this does not mean that you need to do this. Sex should be natural and spontaneous. If you and your partner are having sex at the same time every day, then it's time to make some small changes.
   • Diversify the poses you use, the locations, the accessories used, and change the dominant role.
3. 3 Try new positions. Changing positions in sex can improve the enjoyment of sex. Both you and your partner can bring each other a different pleasure. For example, try different riding positions. They allow the woman to have more control over the situation and increase the pleasure she receives.
   • Try the doggy pose as well. Despite the less than appealing name, this pose is great for pregnant women and certain types of female stimulation.
   • Try the sexual alignment technique as well. This sex position has been researched and proven to provide the most stimulation for a woman, allowing both partners to get the most out of intercourse. It is similar to the traditional missionary position, but creates a more pleasing position for both partners.
   • Try a side pose. If one or both partners are experiencing back or joint pain, or if there is discomfort due to the size of the penis, the sideways position will give you more comfort and control over the process. In such positions, both partners lie on their sides, facing in the same direction. There are many variations of these poses, so pick the one that works best for you.

Part 4 of 4: Get Outside Help

1. 1 Find resources. You can find inspiration in erotic stories (many women were delighted with the book "50 Shades of Gray"), but you can also find helpful tips in various guide books for improving your sex life. Look for books written by sex experts. It is also helpful to look for resources that are relevant to your situation.
   • The American Association for the Psychology of Marriage and Family recommends the Sinclair Intimate Relations Institute's Sex Tutorial Series, Sex Tutorial Series.
2. 2 See your doctor. Some causes of sexual dysfunction can be medical, especially in men. Erectile dysfunction, for example, is usually caused by heart disease, high blood pressure, and obesity, although stress can also cause it. If you are experiencing physical problems that interfere with your sex life, consult your doctor.
   • Many diseases that cause sexual dysfunction are treatable. You shouldn't be shy about going to the doctor, problems with sex are quite common complaints, so your doctor is likely to deal with them all the time.
3. 3 Consult a specialist. Sometimes a couple has problems in their sex life that they cannot solve on their own. This is completely natural. If you continue to have problems with sex, consulting a family therapist who specializes in sex therapy can help. A sex therapist (or family psychologist with a specialization in sexology) knows the right questions to ask to help two people in love understand what might be causing their bedroom problems.
   • It can be very embarrassing to talk to a stranger about your sex life, but sexologists adhere to the same confidentiality rules as other therapists in the field of psychotherapy. They are always ready to help you and will not judge you or discuss your problems with other people.

Tips

• As with everything else, it takes practice to perfect sex.If you are new to this business, do not panic if it does not bring you mind-blowing pleasure from the very beginning. You are still learning about your own body and the techniques and maneuvers that may or may not work for you in bed.

Warnings

• Remember that contraceptives do not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases and are not 100% effective at preventing pregnancy.
• Sex can never be 100% safe, but safer sex practices, such as talking openly with your partner about your sexual history and using a condom every time you have sex, greatly reduce the risks.