Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Build anticipation
• Method 2 of 3: Be Spontaneous
• Method 3 of 3: Unleash
• Tips
• Warnings

Attention:this article is intended for persons over 18 years of age.

Over time, passion in a relationship naturally fades away, but it is quite possible to rekindle the fire of love. If your sex life has stagnated lately, you can spice it up by building up the anticipation of sex both in your daily life and during foreplay. Also, be more spontaneous to make the relationship seem more exciting. You can also try to become more relaxed in sex.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Build anticipation

1. 1 Send each other playful messages or erotic notes. It will turn you both on. Write to your partner what you want to do with him later, or send him your nasty photo. Also, leave short notes with erotic content where your partner will definitely find them.
   • You can write: “Today I put on your favorite underwear. I hope you can help me take it off. "
   • Leave love notes on the mirror, bedside table, steering wheel, or in your partner's briefcase. Their content may be as follows: "I can't wait to see you tonight," or: "In the evening, a surprise awaits you."
2. 2 Speak obscenities partner in everyday life. Dirty talk isn't just in the bedroom. Get in the habit of whispering obscenities to your partner or referring to sex in your daily interactions. This will help you both think more about sex, and therefore anticipate it.
   • Say things like, "These pants make me want to spank you," or, "Good morning, naughty girl."
3. 3 Tell your partner about your sexual fantasies. Everyone has sexual fantasies, so open up to your loved one and share your desires. Ask him to share with you in return. Then discuss ways to incorporate all of these fantasies into your sex life so that both of you can have fun.
   • You might say, “I've always wanted to be tied up during sex. What would you like? " - or: "I want to pretend that you are a pirate trying to board me."
   • Don't pressure your partner into making a fantasy come true that makes him uncomfortable. Likewise, don't feel obligated to do what feels wrong to you. Focus on finding fantasies that both of you enjoy, and don't shame each other for their differences in desires.
4. 4 Organize weekly dates with your partner. Well-planned romantic dates can help you build intimacy and reignite relationships. Schedule dates one at a time to try new things and create memorable memories together. On dates, socialize and show attraction - and both of you will begin to anticipate what will happen later in the bedroom.
   • For example, dine by candlelight, take a sunset stroll, and hug a movie.
   • For a budget option, cook dinner together. Play with your food by flirting during the process.
   • Take a picnic in the park or the beach.
   • Go to a sports event or music concert.
   • Do something active and adventurous like rock climbing, snowboarding, or zip-lining. In winter you can go skiing or ice skating.
5. 5 Create a romantic mood. Sexual arousal is partly dependent on the state of mind, so it is important to set the tone. If you want to have sex, try to create a romantic setting so that both of you are looking forward to the action ahead. Here are some options:
   • light candles and dim the lights;
   • use colored light, such as a red light bulb;
   • include erotic music such as Marvin Gaye, Al Green or Usher;
   • scatter rose petals around the room.
6. 6 Start with foreplay to get aroused. Passion is a mind-body experience, and foreplay will help you both tune in to sex. In fact, foreplay is the key to a healthy sex life. Hug, touch, and kiss each other to create intimacy. In preparation for sex, stroke, caress, and massage your partner. This will increase the anticipation of the process.
   • Try kissing your partner's neck, chest, arms, and body.
   • Slowly remove one piece of clothing from each other.
   • Incorporate foreplay into your daily routine to keep the passion alive. For example, squeeze your partner's butt as you walk past him in the kitchen, or pet him while watching TV together.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Elvina Lui, MFT

   
   
   Family Therapist Alvin Louis is a Licensed Family and Marriage Psychotherapist based in San Francisco. Specializes in relationship consulting. She received her Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology from Western Seminary in 2007 and interned at the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of experience in psychological counseling and has been trained in a harm reduction model.

   Elvina Lui, MFT
   Family psychotherapist

   Note if sex is primarily about your partner's pleasure, not you. In this case try to include in the process what gives you pleasure. This is not limited to intercourse, which helps to achieve orgasm. It's about cuddling more, socializing more, touching each other gently, or doing a few of these things to feel closer to your partner.

   
   

Method 2 of 3: Be Spontaneous

1. 1 Surprise your partner by trying something new. Unfortunately, a well-established lifestyle can reduce the fervor in a relationship, which can lead to boredom. By trying new things in your daily life, you can break out of this quagmire and restore closeness. Do something new and fun with your partner, or surprise them with something special. Here are some ideas:
   • visit a new restaurant;
   • do something unusual on a weekday instead of staying at home;
   • secretly organize a trip to dinner, to the cinema, to a match or to a concert;
   • book your hotel room for a night of love.
2. 2 Give your partner a small gift to remind you that you care about them. Choose a meaningful gift or buy something like flowers, chocolate, or lingerie. Give the gift in person or surprise by sending it to your partner's work. Your loved one will feel special and it will create a sensual moment between you.
   • You can give a sweet gift, such as a cake from his favorite bakery, or give something naughty, such as a pair of fluffy handcuffs and a blindfold. Get creative!
3. 3 Take your soul mate on a romantic trip. A quality pastime - just you and your loved one - is an essential part of a relationship. It is necessary to refresh the senses! Go on a short trip with just two people. Leave your worries behind and focus on rekindling intimacy and being naughty.
   • If you can afford the expensive trip, spend the weekend at the ski lodge, lakeside cabin, or hotel honeymoon suite.
   • If you're on a budget, go on an “adventurous” hike or switch homes with another couple for the weekend.
4. 4 Enjoy quick sex when you're alone. Spontaneous sex can be emotionally charged, so look for opportunities to do it. Take advantage of the moments when you are alone all day long, free from worries. Just enjoy a quick moment of intimacy.
   • For example, you can have quick sex before leaving for work or during your lunch break.
   • Don't bother taking off your clothes, because half-naked sex can be even more arousing. Take off enough clothes to comfortably have sex and enjoy the feeling of shamelessness.
5. 5 Both take a day off and spend it without a plan of action. Set aside a day when both of you are free from work and other obligations. Clear your schedules and don't plan anything. Then do the first thing that comes to mind. Challenge yourself and spend the rest of the day obeying every desire that arises.
   • You can feed ducks in the park, fight with water pistols, rearrange the house, or learn how to make an espresso. It doesn't matter what you do! The main thing is that you are together and try new activities.

Method 3 of 3: Unleash

1. 1 Stock up on sexy underwear. Clothing can add a little adventurism to your love life. Choose lingerie that you think your partner will find sexy. Then experiment with different ways to use it in your sex life. Here are some ideas:
   • surprise your partner when he comes home;
   • wear lacy underwear under your clothes so your partner knows that you intend to be naughty later;
   • wear lace underwear during sex;
   • Dress up as a sexy version of a character that your partner likes;
   • take a picture of yourself in your underwear and send the picture to your partner.
2. 2 Leave the bedroom for sex in a new place. Of course, more often than not, the bedroom is the most convenient place for pranks, but you and your partner can become boring. Take lovemaking outside the bedroom for a new experience. It can make your sex more fun and exciting. Try one of the following locations:
   • on the table in the living room;
   • in the garden, if you live in a private house and you have a high fence;
   • in a car in a secluded place (as in younger years).
3. 3 Incorporate sex toys into lovemaking. Sex toys will increase pleasure for both you and your partner. Get options that you both are interested in trying. Then use them during foreplay or during sex. For example, you can:
   • use handcuffs, rope or tape to tie each other;
   • blindfold each other during foreplay;
   • use gags and whips if you both find it exciting;
   • buy a dildo to increase the level of pleasure for each of you;
   • use anal beads if both of you don't mind.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Elvina Lui, MFT

   
   
   Family Therapist Alvin Louis is a Licensed Family and Marriage Psychotherapist based in San Francisco. Specializes in relationship consulting. She received her Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology from Western Seminary in 2007 and interned at the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of experience in psychological counseling and has been trained in a harm reduction model.

   Elvina Lui, MFT
   Family psychotherapist

   It certainly won't hurt you if you find more things to help you or your partner achieve orgasm. You two can explore oral sex, hand stimulation, and vibrators. Perhaps it is important (or not important) to one of you, so speak openly to negotiate.

4. 4 Role-play sexually. Play out your sexual fantasies with your partner to get both of you horny. Pick a character or scenario that both of you enjoy. Then act out a situation that turns both of you on. Try the following popular scenarios if you're unsure of where to start:
   • doctor and patient;
   • policeman and robber;
   • maid and homeowner;
   • pizza delivery man and hostess.

   Advice: dress up according to your role to bring in more fire! For example, wear a lab coat over your sexy underwear if you're playing the role of a doctor.

5. 5 Include food in your lovemaking. Add flavor to your sensory experience with food, including desserts, edible lotions, and even edible clothing accessories. You can even choose foods that are known aphrodisiacs, such as oysters and chocolate. Feed each other during sex play or lick off each other's food.
   • Drizzle each other with chocolate or lick off the whipped cream.
   • Feed each other grapes or strawberries.
   • Use edible lotions, underwear, or cream to make oral sex more exciting.
6. 6 Watch pornography together. Some people are turned on by adult films. In addition, many find them useful for new ideas. Various free videos can be found on the internet using sites like PornHub. Take turns choosing the porn you think both of you will enjoy.
   • For example, watch a video with a script you both find exciting, such as a food delivery guy and a bored customer.
   • Respect your partner's wishes if they don't want to watch porn. You both need to enjoy this pastime, otherwise porn may harm your relationship instead of helping it.
7. 7 Play sex games to add fire. Sex games are fun because they push you out of your comfort zone and make you look forward to what happens next. Pick a game that you both think will be fun. Here are some ideas:
   • Dice Game: Buy a couple of sex cubes or make up a meaning for each side. Then roll the dice to find out what you should do with your partner. For example, 1 to kiss, 2 to lick the nipples, 3 to lick the genitals, 4 to tie, 5 to lick off the whipped cream, and 6 to spank.
   • Candy Hide and Seek: Hide the little candies one by one. For example, blindfold your partner, and then ask him to find with his mouth three chocolates that you hid on your body.
   • Strip Poker: Take off a piece of clothing every time you lose a round. The loser must initiate sex.
8. 8 Try a light form of BDSM if you both want it. BDSM allows you to be playful in the bedroom to create excitement and turn on each other. If you both think this sounds exciting, try using light ties, blindfolds, or whips. Buy matching items together and then decide how you will experiment in the bedroom. Also, make sure you have a stop word.
   • For example, you can blindfold your partner and then take him to another place, sit him in a chair and touch his skin with various objects, such as ice cubes, fork tines, and warm candle wax.

Tips

• Always listen to your partner's needs, concerns, and desires.
• Always communicate openly and honestly with your partner.
• Take risks and try to step outside your comfort zone a little.
• Respect your partner's boundaries.
• If you are considering using a sex drive product such as pills, creams, or sprays, do your research for safety and efficacy first.

Warnings

• Don't force your partner to do things they don't like.