Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Pay attention to emotional changes
• Part 2 of 4: Pay attention to changes in appearance
• Part 3 of 4: Notice Behavior Changes
• Part 4 of 4: How to Deal with His Crisis
• Tips

If your man is in his forties and fifties, and he suddenly starts behaving very strangely, he may be having a midlife crisis. To help you understand this problem, we will describe signs of emotional changes (such as unreasonable irritability and frequent mood changes), behavior changes (for example, a sudden passion for extreme sports) and changes in attitude towards your appearance (from buying a new wardrobe to plastic operations). In addition, we will talk about how to deal with this crisis, because it affects not only the man, it has a great impact on you as well. To stay sane and, if possible, maintain your relationship, start with the first step.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Pay attention to emotional changes

1. 1 Pay attention if the man is feeling depressed. Men suffering from a midlife crisis usually feel overwhelmed or devastated for a long period of time and do not experience relief.The key words here are "over a long period of time" - everyone has mood swings that come and go. A midlife crisis manifests itself in the fact that a man looks depressed and unhappy, and he himself cannot explain the reason for this.
   • Most mental health experts avoid talking about a midlife crisis if symptoms last less than 6 months. Moreover, one can speak of a crisis only if the man has no real reason for grief. If a person has experienced the death of a loved one or is constantly experiencing depression, then the symptoms listed above cannot be considered a sign of a midlife crisis.
2. 2 Observe his character. Men who are going through this difficult period of life often feel annoyed over trifles that do not matter. He can get into violent confrontations with friends and family, and this behavior was completely uncharacteristic for him before. Quarrels break out for no reason and just as unexpectedly end.
   • Again, don't confuse this with annoyance, for which there is a reason. Men are also prone to hormonal storms. This sign must be taken into account if the character changes are of a long-term, global nature, and you already hardly recognize the man you once knew. New character traits do not seem to be temporary, and it seems that the person will remain so for a long time.
3. 3 Talk about how you feel his detachment. Men in midlife crisis may show the usual signs of depression. They seem distant, lose interest in what used to please them, and even stop communicating with you, their friends and colleagues. Sometimes you can see it quite clearly, but in some cases you will have to get to the bottom of what is happening - some men are very good at hiding the feelings they are struggling with.
   • If you are not completely sure, try talking to him about this topic. Say that you notice that he is no longer interested in his hobby as much as before, or that you feel that he is moving away from you. Does he know the reasons for this? Does it seem to him that this is true? Does he notice changes in his nature?
4. 4 Ask him if he is thinking about dying. Men in crisis often begin to reflect on the essence of being. They endlessly reflect on the finiteness of life, on its meaning or meaninglessness. Have you ever talked about this? How often do you hear from your man the phrase: "Life is meaningless"? If so, you may be seeing the ugly face of a midlife crisis.
   • Generally speaking, what is a midlife crisis? A person really reaches the middle of his own life. He looks back and gazes intently at the years he has lived. Even if everything is fine in life, a man can still worry about how he lived all this time. If a man is disappointed with how he has lived these years, then thinking about it can poison his existence.
5. 5 Talk about what he believes in. A man who believed in God can lose his faith with the onset of a midlife crisis. He may begin to question his beliefs, which previously seemed solid and unchanging. This can completely change his entire value system.
   • There is also a second side to this issue. A man can to begin to seek a path to his own spiritual life, sometimes for the first time in his entire life. Often his attention is drawn to various new religious groups or sects. In addition, he may begin to be sincerely interested in the religious denomination to which he previously belonged only formally.
6. 6 Listen to how you feel about your relationship. Do you think the man is disappointed with them? Do you feel that you are drifting apart emotionally and physically? Do you talk to each other less, make joint plans less often, have sex less often, and in general, do you feel detached from each other? While it can happen without any crisis, if you notice other signs, then it may be a midlife crisis that is to blame. However, the situation can be improved if you make reasonable efforts to do so.
   • The most important thing now is not to take the changes that are taking place personally, it is not your fault in what is happening.He did not stop loving you, did not stop appreciating the good that is in his life, and it is not you who make him unhappy - there is a struggle in his mind that makes him doubt everything.

Part 2 of 4: Pay attention to changes in appearance

1. 1 Pay attention to the change in weight. Men in midlife crisis can either gain weight or lose weight dramatically. Along with this, eating habits and the time allotted for sports are changing dramatically. These changes seem sudden, completely unlike those small and gradual periods of weight loss and weight gain that occur dozens of times in a lifetime.
   • Many men gain weight suddenly because they start eating high-fat and high-calorie foods and stop exercising. Others rapidly lose weight, lose interest in food, and sometimes even go on rigid diets and begin to torture themselves with grueling workouts. In this case, both behaviors are only harmful to health.
2. 2 Pay attention to whether he attaches great importance to his appearance. Sometimes the mirror reveals the hard-hitting truth to a man and starts a midlife crisis. A man is scared to admit to himself that he is getting old, and he may start taking heightened steps to look and feel young again. The man does not notice how ridiculous he looks at the same time. He may start looking for ways to turn back the clock and try everything - some buy dozens of anti-aging creams, others start going to beauty salons, and still others may turn to a plastic surgeon.
   • He can change the way he dresses. Sometimes it is suddenly discovered that a man is trying to wear something from his own son's wardrobe, trying unsuccessfully to look cool. It sounds ridiculous, of course, but it's still better than plastic surgery, right?
3. 3 Sometimes a man looks in the mirror and does not recognize himself. A middle-aged man sometimes looks in the mirror and realizes that he does not recognize his reflection. In his imagination, he is still 25 years old, he has luxurious hair on his head, and his skin glows with a healthy tan. One day he realizes that the hair seems to have migrated from the head to the ears and nose, and the skin, if it shines, is only on the bald spot.
   • Imagine that you suddenly wake up twenty years older. Monstrous, isn't it? This is exactly what is happening now with a man. He is faced with the understanding that he is no longer young, half of his life is behind him - and he will have to, one way or another, come to terms with it.

Part 3 of 4: Notice Behavior Changes

1. 1 The man has become more prone to rash acts. All of a sudden, your man starts acting like an impulsive, infantile teenager. He acts rashly, starts to reckless behind the wheel, behave risky and suddenly become overly interested in parties. He tries to live as in his youth and enjoy the fullness of life in order to avoid regrets about the unfulfilled.
   • Often a man develops an irresistible desire for freedom and independence, as is the case with adolescents - with the difference that the adolescent does not have a wife and children, whom he must take into account. He is terribly thirsty for adventure and is looking for where to find them, not thinking about how it will affect the family.
   • His rash behavior may be expressed in the fact that he wants to leave the family or "take a break." It becomes difficult for him to find satisfaction in his current lifestyle, so he decides to give up all responsibility and try to start something more exciting.
2. 2 Pay attention to any changes in your job or career. Sometimes men at this age begin to think that it is time for them to leave work, even if they have not yet reached retirement age, or they completely change their field of activity. The midlife crisis is not limited to just one aspect of a man's life - it often affects his family, and his attitude to appearance, and his career.
   • A man may realize that he does not imagine that his whole future life will be connected with the same interests, people and career that he has now. When he realizes this, he tries to change everything that is possible in his life. Sometimes a man only changes his place of work, and sometimes cardinal changes take place in his life, for example, he starts doing something completely new.
3. 3 Be prepared for the man to start seeking the attention of other women. Unfortunately, a midlife crisis often pushes men into cheating. At best, he can start desperately flirting with women, trying to get their interest. He may develop sexual interest in other women — young colleagues, a teacher of his own children, or a sexy stranger at a bar — all in order to feel that he is still young and popular with women. To their credit, sometimes men understand the unworthiness of their own behavior.
   • Some men find that new technology gives him ample scope for this behavior. They can spend hours on the Internet, engaging in conversation with strangers.
4. 4 Pay attention to bad habits. Unfortunately, often during this crisis, men find a solution to all problems in alcohol. They start drinking a lot, and sometimes alone. Some men begin to abuse strong sedatives or tranquilizers. These habits have a devastating effect on his health.
   • If this happens in your man's life, you must take matters into your own hands. No matter how distant he is from you, you must understand that his health is now in danger. You just have to find a rehabilitation program for him or, in extreme cases, a good psychotherapist.
5. 5 Pay attention to how he spends his money. While trying to cope with a midlife crisis, a man often starts throwing money down the drain. He can sell his car and buy a super-modern sports car, succumbing to advertisements that promise endless youth to the owner. He can completely update his wardrobe, buy himself a few mountain bikes, in general, spend a lot of money on things that previously did not interest him at all.
   • This can be both good and bad. One man will spend hundreds of thousands of rubles on equipping the interior of his new car, and another on installing sports simulators at home, which will help the whole family stay in shape. You will feel differently about this, depending on how much value you attach to money.
6. 6 You should know that a man can do something that will irreversibly change his life. A midlife crisis is very similar to adolescent rebellion, so men tend to do things that can turn their lives upside down. For example, they can:
   • Get a mistress
   • Leave the family
   • Try to commit suicide
   • Do extreme sports
   • Start drinking, taking drugs, or gambling
     • This is because the man feels that his old life is no longer suitable for him. He starts struggling to create a new life for himself, regardless of how negatively it will affect him and his loved ones. In most cases, he refuses to listen to the voice of reason.

Part 4 of 4: How to Deal with His Crisis

1. 1 Take care of yourself. It's yours now priority task. It's not just your man who is going through a difficult period right now. You probably feel as if you have knocked the ground out from under your feet, and everything in life is flying somersault. While this can be challenging, try to take care of yourself and live your life. That's all you can do now.
   • If you used to traditionally go to a restaurant on Saturdays or go out to the cinema on Sundays together, and now he prefers to spend this time with friends, do not allow yourself to sit at home and feel sorry for yourself. While he goes about his business, you go about yours.Try to find a new hobby that you didn't have time for before, spend more time with your friends, and give yourself the opportunity to be happy. This is the best thing you can do for yourself and your man.
2. 2 Try to see the big picture. If a man is thinking about the possibility of plastic surgery, this in itself is not uncommon. If a man has a mistress, this is not necessarily a sign of a midlife crisis. By themselves, one at a time, these signs do not mean anything. And only when you can recognize most of the listed signs in your man, you can argue that the age crisis plays the main role in this.
   • Some of these signs, such as feelings of detachment, unreasonable anger, or thinking about death, can be signals of mental illness. If it seems to you that the problem is not only in behavior, but also in a change in the psyche, consider this possibility. Talk to a therapist, psychologist, or other mental health professional for their opinion.
3. 3 Consider the time. Decreased interest in something or an instant outburst of anger - such manifestations cannot be considered sufficient signs to draw conclusions about a personality change, and talk about a midlife crisis. Small changes are completely normal. If we did not change, we would not be able to grow and develop. Only if the changes drag on for 6 months or longer, and we can observe their manifestations almost every day, can we talk about a midlife crisis.
   • Try to look back and understand where the crisis began. In most cases, something served as a trigger. It could be something insignificant, like a lock of gray hair, or something important, like the death of a loved one. Try to remember when you first encountered the manifestation of his new behavior. How long has it been?
4. 4 Let the man know that you are around. Your man is going through a very difficult period in his life. He cannot understand who he really is and what he wants in this life. Without tears, accusations, complaints and swearing, just try to talk to him. Do not demand anything, just let the man know that you see the changes that are taking place in him, and are always ready to support him. You may not be thrilled with what is happening, but you shouldn't interfere with his attempts to be happy.
   • If he agrees to talk about it, try to talk intelligently and find out exactly how he sees this period of his life. This will help you know what to expect. Each crisis is different, and an honest conversation will help you guess where it is going. The changes may concern mainly his appearance, work or relationship, or even his hobbies. Talking about it will help you anticipate the future actions of a man, or at least not be surprised at the development of events.
5. 5 Let him go. Thinking about it is unbearable, but now your man wants to be himself and live by his own interests. And, apparently, now you are no longer a part of his interests. Good! Here and now, release it. If you do this, it will be easier for you, for him.
   • He needs personal space, both physical and emotional. If a man doesn't want to talk about this, leave him alone. At first, you will be unfamiliar with this state of affairs, but it will help to avoid further escalation of the conflict.
6. 6 Know that you are not alone. Nearly 26% of people are going through a midlife crisis. This is every fourth. You probably know many people who have similar experiences - they are either experiencing a crisis themselves, or are next to such a person. Lots of resources are at your disposal if you can't stand it alone. You only need to ask!
   • There are many books and websites on the Internet, depending on which type of help is best for you.They will help you come to terms with the idea that "love is cold", weigh the pros and cons, and decide whether you want to stay or leave. This is a serious period in your man's life, but this time is no easier for you either. And you are entitled to your own feelings.

Tips

• If your man starts doing something dangerous or unhealthy, contact his doctor.
• If he prefers to deny that there is a problem, discuss it with his friends and family.