Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Be a Good Husband or Wife and Parent
• Method 2 of 3: Develop relationships
• Method 3 of 3: Behave when dealing with disagreements
• Tips

Recently married and trying to establish close relationships with relatives of your significant other? Or maybe for several years you have been trying to win the love of loved ones of your husband or wife? Be sure it is possible! First of all, in order to win the love and respect of relatives, you need to show concern for your spouse and your children. Also, if you want to have a close relationship with your husband's or wife's relatives, treat them kindly and show interest. Finally, try to do your best to be a good son-in-law or daughter-in-law.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Be a Good Husband or Wife and Parent

1. 1 Treat your spouse with love and respect. The best way to win the love of your family is to be a good spouse. Your partner's parents will start to treat you well if they see that their child is happy with you. Do your best to maintain a good relationship with your loved one, and you will be one step closer to being loved by his family.
2. 2 Make family your priority. Relatives of your husband or wife will value you more when they see that you value your family. Be a good parent and spend quality time with your family to gain the respect of those close to you.
   • After all, all your partner's relatives really want is for their children and grandchildren to be loved and well cared for.
3. 3 Encourage them to spend time with your children. If you want to please your partner's relatives, do not resist their interaction with your children. Respect their role as grandparents and give them the opportunity to be a part of your children's lives.
   • Invite them to birthday parties and awards ceremonies. Let your kids visit them on weekends or vacations.

Method 2 of 3: Develop relationships

1. 1 Be polite to your partner's loved ones. Do not be indifferent, while expecting that the relatives of your loved one will treat you like a loved one. Show your best side. You must attract them with your words and actions. When you meet, smile and greet them by shaking hands or hugging, if this is the custom in your family. SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Klare Heston, LCSW

   
   
   Licensed Social Worker Claire Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. She has experience in educational counseling and clinical supervision, and received her Master's degree in Social Work from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.She also completed a two-year continuing education course at the Cleveland Institute of Gestalt Therapy and is certified in family therapy, supervision, mediation and trauma therapy.

   Klare Heston, LCSW
   Licensed social worker

   Be patient while building your relationship. Social worker Clara Heston advises: “Don't expect instant love. When a child gets married or gets married, the parents feel a sense of loss, so it may take a while for them to accept you into their family and start treating you better. Just be yourself and let them get to know you better. "

   
   
2. 2 Take an interest in their lives. Tell your family that you are interested in developing a relationship with them, and their attitude towards you will change for the better. Take an interest in their lives and hobbies.
   • Ask simple questions that show your interest, such as "How's the harvest?" - or: “When was the last time you went fishing? How's the catch? " By asking these questions, your partner's relatives will see that you are interested in them.
3. 3 Ask them for advice. Parents love to pass on knowledge to their children. Your partner's family is no exception. Show respect for them, value them for the fact that they have certain abilities and skills. Ask them for advice when you don't know how to solve a problem or get a job done.
   • For example, if your father-in-law has built a nice veranda, you can ask him to help you with the markings on your lot. If your mother-in-law bakes delicious pies, ask her to teach you how to make apple pie.
4. 4 Ask them to tell stories. To show your interest, you can ask your loved one's relatives to tell stories related to your husband's or wife's upbringing or childhood. Soul or funny stories can help you build a strong bond with your partner's family.
   • For example, you can say: “Olya makes decisions quickly and confidently. Was she like that as a child? "
5. 5 Memorize small details. Pay attention to small details. This will help you show your interest. Relatives will certainly see your interest, and this will contribute to the development of a warm relationship between you.
   • For example, if you are going to invite your husband's or wife's relatives to dinner, buy the wine they like. If your father-in-law defended his project at work, when you meet with him, find out how it went.
6. 6 Give gifts. Another way to bond with your loved one’s family is to give them gifts. When you visit, buy your partner's mom's favorite flowers or tickets to a sporting event for your loved one's dad.
   • Do not overdo it with gifts, as relatives may perceive this as an insincere gesture on your part, or they may feel like you are trying to "buy" their love. However, gifts are a good way to show your interest and care.

Method 3 of 3: Behave when dealing with disagreements

1. 1 Respect family traditions. Your spouse may have a different background from yours, so you may not fully understand the family traditions of his or her family. Even if you don't understand or agree with their beliefs, you should still show respect.
   • For example, if it is customary for your partner's family to celebrate a certain holiday, do not refuse to take part in the celebration, if this does not contradict your own beliefs. If doing this is contrary to your beliefs, respect your loved one’s desire to continue to participate in such activities.
   • Family traditions are not limited to culture or religion. Your husband's or wife's family may be able to gather on Sundays for a dinner together or celebrate the New Years together.
2. 2 Focus on the solution, not the problem. It's easy to get bogged down in an argument focusing on the details, of course, but this will only alienate you from each other. Instead of focusing on the problem, try to pay attention to the solution.
   • Instead of discussing hurtful words and actions of relatives, think about what you can do to solve the problem.
   • For example, instead of saying, "How could you tell my children that my religion teaches lies !?" Try saying, "I respect your religious beliefs even when I disagree with them, and I expect you to do this, especially in the presence of my children."
   • If you have offended relatives of your husband or wife, apologize and try to develop a close relationship with them further.
3. 3 Make an extra effort to rebuild trust. If you've done something that jeopardized the trust between you and your husband's or wife's family, show that you want to restore trust in your relationship. Remember that this relationship can be lifelong. Do not distance yourself from the loved ones of your spouse and do not focus on past mistakes. It won't help the case. Go ahead and do whatever you can to restore trust.
   • You can try to rebuild trust by apologizing for what you said or doing and asking them how you can fix the situation. Monitor your behavior, do nothing that could undermine trust, and try to avoid similar problems in the future.
4. 4 Find common interests. Be prepared to put in the extra effort to show your loved one’s family that you want to be part of their family. What are your partner's relatives interested in? If their interests coincide with yours, it can become a connecting bridge between you. Discuss topics that interest you and participate in activities related to your hobbies.
   • For example, your partner's relatives may have played in a music band when they were young. If you like the same genre of music, you can discuss it or go to concerts together. Try singing or writing songs together. These are very exciting activities.
5. 5 Be yourself. After all, the best way to please your spouse's family is to be yourself. You are more likely to win their love if you are honest with them. Make an effort to please your loved one’s family, but don’t compromise on your personality for that. Remain yourself.

Tips

• You need to set the boundaries and pace of your relationship, because few people will like the annoying new family members. Take the initiative if you want to develop a close relationship with them.
• Remember, these are the parents of your loved one, so do not be offended if they call him more often than you would like.