Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Navigating the office
• Part 2 of 3: Dealing with your emotions
• Part 3 of 3: Analyzing the situation

Dealing with others is unavoidable in most workplaces. Unfortunately, you occasionally run into a colleague who rubs you against the grain. It is important to know how to work with someone in a business manner, even if your personal relationship with that person is tense. From learning how to navigate the office to the emotions that come with it - there are multiple ways to work with someone that you just can't get along with.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Navigating the office

1. Limit contact. While it's not always possible to avoid a colleague completely, you can strive to keep contact as sporadic as possible. Getting out of the way is probably the easiest way to deal with it.
   • Some forms of contact are probably unavoidable, especially when the two of you work together. However, you can avoid talking to this colleague in the cafeteria or during breaks. When you find your coworker coming in, politely excuse yourself by saying something like, "Well, I have to get back to work. Nice to see you again."
   • If you do need to interact with the colleague, keep things professional. When dealing with someone who hates you, avoid broaching private matters or things that are irrelevant to the tasks in front of you, or that would invite negative comments.
2. Be nice to the person the unkind person. Many psychological studies indicate that it is very difficult to dislike someone who does like you. If your coworker feels that you respect and like him or her, some of the disgust for you may fade away.
   • Tell someone in the office that you like and respect that problematic person. That information can eventually reach the person. When a message isn't directly from you, your colleague may be more likely to believe it.
   • Show genuine interest in your colleague's input. People tend to like other people when they pay attention and agree with them. While you still try to avoid that person as much as possible, it is wise to actively listen to what that person has to say at times when you need to interact with such a person. As a result, your colleague may dislike you less.
   • Short, friendly contact can also help. Something as simple as, "good morning" can go a long way.
3. Separate your work from your private life. If you have trouble interacting with a specific colleague, try to keep your work and private life separate. There is no need to interact socially with colleagues outside of work. If the coworker who hates you is a frequent visitor to happy hour on Friday nights, pass up these occasions and see your friends at a different time.
4. Report the situation if it threatens to get out of hand. It is not the intention to bring up someone's behavior when it is not necessary. However, you should report any behavior if it makes it difficult for you to do your job properly. Talk to Human Resources if the situation threatens to get out of hand.
   • Management can help you negotiate situations if it makes your job difficult. Keep a record of your contact for about a week if you plan to report it, so that you have concrete information to show the leadership.
   • Make sure you focus on how your coworker's behavior is detrimental to the company. Put it in objective terms and explain how your productivity and morale suffer from the behavior of your colleague.
   • Don't forget that this is a last option. You don't want to go through life as the telltale of the company. Only report your coworker's behavior if you feel that you are being harassed by your coworker, attack you personally, and continue with his or her actions, despite your efforts to avoid or rectify the situation.

Part 2 of 3: Dealing with your emotions

1. Look at it from a healthy perspective. When it comes to your emotions, maintaining a healthy perspective is one of the best ways to deal with a negative coworker. Stay focused on your bigger dreams and goals. Try to avoid getting caught up in a petty workplace drama.
   • When you get frustrated, think about where you want to be next year or five years from now. To what extent is this colleague important when it comes to your long-term goals? How long will you actually work together? It is more than likely that your difficult colleague will not be part of your career in the long run.
   • Can you learn from the situation? Try to view the situation as a lesson in how to treat other people. If your coworker's behavior makes work difficult for you, don't copy such behavior into future contact with people.
2. Try to detach yourself from the situation emotionally. While easier said than done, sometimes the best way to deal with a negative situation is to find a way to emotionally detach yourself from the situation. Just try to ignore this behavior by refusing to respond to it.
   • It can help to relax you during the day. Try to calm your thoughts by focusing intensely on the here and now. Be aware of your body, your breathing and your environment. This will help you not to be upset by your colleague's actions by focusing only on what is tangible.
3. Find a support network outside of work. Whatever you do, don't talk negatively about your coworker at work. Not only does this paint a negative image of you, it can also come to your colleague's ear and make the situation worse.
   • Everyone has to spit their bile from time to time. It's okay if you just want to vent your frustrations. However, do this outside of your work environment. Talk to friends and family you know outside of work, rather than business acquaintances.

Part 3 of 3: Analyzing the situation

1. Put yourself in the shoes of your colleague. While it can be difficult to accept, you may be doing something that makes your coworker hate you. Try to understand your coworker's point of view to see if you have behaved in a negative way.
   • Disgust is often fueled by jealousy. Your colleague may consider you more successful or notice that you have qualities that he or her lack. While you won't be able to make your coworker less jealous right away, you may wonder if you may have been overly self-righteous or too much about your success. If so, then this may have fueled the disgust.
   • Sometimes people confuse shyness with rudeness. If you just don't exchange many words with your coworker, he or she may think you are cool and distant. Try to be a little friendlier, that can help.
   • Do you think other people in the office like you? If not, you may be engaging in unnoticed behaviors that others don't like. Ask a colleague who you can get along with about this and ask him for objective feedback about your behavior. See if there is anything you do that others might dislike.
2. Think back to past contact with the colleague. Think carefully about previous contact you have had. Sometimes people hate each other because of a single bad contact. Maybe it's something you said or did that fueled the disgust.
   • This could be something simple, such as not having accidentally stopped the elevator at some point. You may have said something insensitive, such as a comment about your colleague's clothes that went wrong.
   • If you can point out a past mistake about yourself, sincerely apologize to your coworker. If the other person's dislike is caused by a simple misunderstanding, this may be cleared up by a brief conversation.
3. Find out how high your stress level is. Be honest with yourself about the extent to which the situation bothers you. If you are unable to separate your work from your private life, it may be time for another job. However, be aware that you can encounter difficult people in any job. If you are really upset about difficult colleagues, it might be an idea to see a therapist to learn how to manage your overall stress level.