Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Listen to a friend
• Part 2 of 3: Look at rejection from the other side
• Part 3 of 3: Watching for Signs of Depression

Every person goes through personal experience of rejection, but each time it is unusually painful. If your friend is rejected, you can help him by simply listening carefully and discussing the problem in detail. For some people, rejection can cause depression. Become familiar with the signs of clinical depression so that you can provide timely support and help your friend overcome their condition.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Listen to a friend

1. 1 Do not impose your advice on a friend if he hasn’t asked for it. Faced with rejection, no one wants to hear a sermon about what they need to do better in order to increase their chances of success next time. Your friend may have said or done something that led to failure, but even if his job or relationship with his significant other was not perfect, it’s difficult for the person to benefit from inappropriate advice at the moment.
   • Now is not the time to remind you that he spent too much time complaining about the job he lost or the girl who left him.
   • Regardless of the circumstances, rejection can hurt your friend's feelings, so listen carefully to help cope with the acute pain.
   • You can try to make a cautious guess if the person claims they don't know why they failed and asks you to help figure it out.
2. 2 Help your friend rethink rejection. Don't jump straight into discussing the "growth opportunities" that have arisen from the rejection. However, try to help your friend benefit from the experience. There are positive aspects to be found in any position. Sometimes it is necessary to point out the benefits for the person to see them.
   • For example, if he did not get the desired job, this will allow him to fulfill his long-standing dream of a vacation with his family.
   • Loneliness provides more freedom. If you were refused publication of an article, you can always simply send it to the editors of other publications.
3. 3 Share your feelings with the person. This is one way to support your friend and help him cope with pain. Ask him how he is feeling, and reassure him that his feelings are quite natural. It will become easier for your friend if he knows what he can share with you.
   • For example, in order to provide moral support, say: "I see that you are very worried about what happened."
4. 4 Be prepared to be quiet. If your friend is deeply saddened by rejection, he or she may not be able to express his feelings in words. Therefore, he may just want to sit with you in silence. Be there and show that you are ready to listen to him whenever he wants to talk about what happened.
   • You can always offer to hug him or give him an encouraging pat on the shoulder.
   • Talk to him about abstract topics or do something together. This is another way to provide support if the person is not yet ready to talk about their feelings. For example, go on a camping trip or play a game console.

Part 2 of 3: Look at rejection from the other side

1. 1 Give your friend credit for their efforts. Refusal is a side effect of trying to implement a new and bold solution. If she ultimately failed (for example, if your friend stopped calling her boyfriend, she didn't get a part in the play, or she was denied a promotion), then the girl still deserves credit for her efforts.
   • Remind the person of the opportunities that opened up for him after the rejection. For example, writers tape their walls with rejection letters because they often face a similar problem. Even famous authors receive hundreds of rejections before their works are published.
   • If failure was really unlikely, for example, expectations regarding a job offer did not come true, then tell your friend to try your luck again.
2. 2 Remind your friend that rejection is common. After all, every person goes through this repeatedly throughout their lives. You are constantly at risk of being rejected when joining a sports team, applying for college, trying to get a prestigious job, or when you ask someone out of your summer.
   • Each failure is perceived differently, but more often than not it is just a consequence of an unfortunate set of circumstances.
   • It really doesn't matter how smart, funny, or talented a person is, absolutely everyone is rejected at some time. Find examples of people who, in spite of a large number of rejections, have been very successful in life, if you feel like your friend might benefit from it.
3. 3 Share your personal experience. Remind your friend that they are not the only survivors of rejection. Tell us about your own failures: how you got fired from your job and how long it took you to get a positive decision about your appointment to the desired position, or how your relationship with your girlfriend did not work out - all this will help the person feel normal and not so alone in their trouble.
   • However, keep in mind that a friend's experience can be very different from your own. You do not need to incessantly talk about your failures and claim that you know everything about the feelings that a person is currently experiencing.
   • Never use the words "You will ..." or "You must ..." to cheer up a comrade. You may think that phrases like these give you confidence, but the other person may misinterpret them.
   • Instead, share your experience of how you dealt with a situation similar to your friend's current situation. Summarize in words that each person must find their own way to overcome the consequences of rejection.
4. 4 Talk about your friend's good qualities. Surely, in addition to the qualities requiring improvement, he has obvious advantages. Remind your friend of what others value him for. Give as an example a few cases that he cannot dispute.
   • Mention his wonderful sense of humor after he makes a grim joke about the situation so that he can admit your point.
   • Do not overdo it with praise and only say what you really believe, otherwise the person will suspect you of insincerity.
5. 5 Don't give the person false hope. By being able to accept rejection, he will be able to move on to a new stage in life. Help the person come to terms with what happened.
   • Nobody can predict the future. It may happen that the applicant turns down the offered vacancy, and your friend is next on the list. Or the ex-boyfriend will change his mind. But it is categorically contraindicated and unreasonable to reassure and tune in to the possibility of a cardinal turn of events.
   • It cannot be argued that your friend will definitely be offered the desired position, and the ex will change his mind. Just sit silently without showing any agreement with his words. He will soon figure it out himself.
6. 6 Reassure the person that rejection is not just their problem. Rejection is common; one person can like us, at the same time another person does not like our society, and there is nothing to be done about it. The feelings of a person in love are not necessarily mutual, just as it is impossible to get any job that we like.
   • Redirect his attention to the person who can reciprocate.
   • Remind your friend of their recent accomplishments for which they have earned praise and praise.
7. 7 Find a way to cheer up the other person. What gave your friend pleasure to the point of failure? Try to revive interest in his old hobbies. Hang out together, go hiking, watch sports, or go to the movies.
   • Your friend may be financially distressed if the rejection results in a loss of income. Make sure that spending time together does not require spending money, otherwise it will only worsen your friend's morale.
   • Avoid hobbies that can bring up unpleasant memories.

Part 3 of 3: Watching for Signs of Depression

1. 1 Check for significant changes in the person's behavior. If your friend is depressed, he may be angry over trifles, and also be unfriendly or irritable, even if this is not his nature. Disruption to sleep patterns, when a person sleeps too much or suffers from insomnia, also signals depression.
   • Your friend may not be himself, even long after he "overcome" the rejection.
   • In addition, you may find that he has lost interest in the activities in which he was previously fond of.
2. 2 Notice the increased interest in death. If your friend is talking about death and repose, pay special attention to this. Phrases like "I wish I had died" or "Why don't I stop all this and relieve others of their torment?" signal suicidal thoughts, even when it is uttered by chance.
   • If you think the person might harm themselves (or someone else), talk to them openly about it. Ask, "Are you going to hurt yourself?" Perhaps he will deny, but he will be grateful for the opportunity to speak out.
   • If you think your friend is in danger or a critical situation, be sure to call 112 for emergency assistance.
   • Encourage a friend to ask for help. He will not be able to cope with clinical depression on his own. Discuss the signs you have noticed and explain why you are so worried about him.
   • Let him know that you are ready to help make an appointment or join a support group.
   • Remember, you cannot force a person to ask for help. If your friend is not ready to seek medical attention, tell them that you will be happy to provide support as soon as they feel the need to do so.
3. 3 Be vigilant for signs of suicidal thoughts. It is often too late for people to realize that a loved one has shown suicidal tendencies, even though their prevalence is striking. A friend may have a tendency to commit suicide after rejection if he is in a prolonged depression. If you find any of the signs below, talk to your healthcare professional or psychologist right away. In an emergency, call 112 immediately. Signs of suicidal thoughts include the following behavioral reactions:
   • The person acquires special means to commit suicide, such as drugs (for overdose) or a pistol.
   • He has dramatically increased his alcohol or drug consumption.
   • Your friend is handing out his belongings or taking urgent action to get everything done, even though there is no obvious need to do so.
   • He says goodbye to people as if he will never see them again.
   • The person performs risky and life-threatening stunts.
   • He shows signs of personality change, severe anxiety or anxiety, especially when combined with some of the points described above.