Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Changing Our Beliefs
• Part 2 of 3: Love Your Body
• Part 3 of 3: Maintaining a Positive Mindset
• Tips
• Warnings

Self-loathing is a serious problem for thousands of people. Getting out of this abyss on your own can be challenging, as it requires strong support from others. However, there are strategies you can learn to help you reconsider your views, love yourself and your body, and maintain a positive outlook on life. You need to keep your life in check. Learn self-compassion and learn how to find peace and enjoy your own company.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Changing Our Beliefs

1. 1 Forget perfection. Self-loathing is the result of a distorted and completely negative outlook on oneself. This view is based on assumptions, denial, and delusion. To get back to reality, you need to learn to be honest with yourself and take control of your life. Nobody is perfect. Attempts to drive yourself to beauty standards will eventually lead to self-loathing.If you want to stop hating yourself, stop thinking like that as soon as possible.
   • Stop comparing yourself to the people you see on TV and in advertisements. Compare yourself to yourself, not to others. Life is not divided into 30-minute videos, and there are no filters attached to it from Photoshop. Do you know the shortest distance to happiness? Eliminate TV and social media from your life for a while and spend more time talking face to face.
2. 2 Identify what provokes self-loathing. Self-loathing occurs intermittently, often stemming from childhood or adolescent trauma. However, not always only one memorable memory is capable of arousing self-hatred. Certain people, circumstances, or actions can quickly plunge you into a maelstrom of negative thinking, making the situation worse. Learn to recognize thoughts or events that trigger a similar response so that you can immediately prevent it.
   • The next time you feel a sense of self-loathing, stop yourself by literally saying, "I'm not going there." Stop and assess the situation critically. What's going on around you? What are you reacting to? Take a piece of paper and write down your thoughts. This practice is a kind of cleansing, after which you will feel better.
3. 3 Use positive defense mechanisms. What do you usually do when you start feeling self-loathing? Crawling into bed and watching TV instead of hanging out? Alcohol abuse? Do you overeat? Most people who hate themselves have one thing in common: their defense mechanisms are turned off, which only makes the situation worse. Whatever you do to deal with your emotions, find a more positive way to replace the ones you used before.
   • If you're struggling with overeating or drinking too much, make it impossible to exercise. Remove ice cream and biscuits from the kitchen and replace them with fresh fruits and vegetables. If you're trying to deal with isolation, force yourself to go outside more often.
4. 4 Practice self-hypnosis daily. Does talking to a mirror seem like a strange experience to you? Perhaps it will be so at first. However, this practice has proven to be beneficial for a huge number of people suffering from self-loathing. The main thing is to spend a little time and perseverance on it. Find a positive mantra for yourself to repeat in front of the mirror during seizures to get you back on track. You don't have to say something complicated. You can try the following:
   • I'm good enough.
   • I am in control of my life.
   • I can do that.
   • I am a beautiful, intelligent and kind person.
5. 5 List your core values ​​and beliefs. What is most important to you, what ideas and attitudes really mean something to you? In most cases, it is loyalty, sacrifice, dedication, kindness, or justice. You may also value creativity, power, or education. What are the rules for a good person to live? Write a list and reread it every day. You can update it if you want.
   • If this helps you, think of it as your own lifestyle and write accordingly. If you organized a club and could dictate the terms there, what traits would the members of this community have and what rules would they live by?
6. 6 Make decisions based on these values. Oftentimes, self-loathing occurs when your behavior is at odds with your attitudes. Every time you are faced with a choice, even if it concerns how you will spend your free time, double-check your decision for compatibility with your core beliefs. Ask yourself, "Will it make me feel better or worse?"
   • If creativity is your top value on your list, how will you spend your time? You can always watch TV shows or devote yourself to a novel that you have long dreamed of writing. Make sure that your actions are in step with your beliefs.

Part 2 of 3: Love Your Body

1. 1 Use your body so that you can be proud of it.. Not only must our decisions be in line with our values, but we must also treat our physical body in such a way that it is pleasant for us to be in it. What can your body do for you? How can you use it in a manner that promotes positive thinking and self-love?
   • Define what it means to "treat yourself right." The word "right" can have many meanings depending on the person. But you can go the same way as with making decisions. What behavior will make you proud of your body?
   • While certain things may seem appropriate at some point, they can also trigger an attack of self-loathing later on. Every booze ends up with a hangover. In general, you need to avoid self-destructive activities (such as substance abuse) in order to be proud of your body.
2. 2 Exercise your body. Make your body work for you. Climb to the top of the mountain to look at the valley below and say, "I did this with my body!" Sign up for dancing and add fun to your exercise routine. Take the time to learn a certain yoga or new dance style, and your body will start working for you. Exercise will indirectly contribute to this positive attitude towards your body.
   • It's very easy to get obsessed with numbers. How many kilograms have you gained or lost, how many steps you took yesterday, how many calories you consumed. If you are struggling with body flaws and low self-esteem, it is very important to pay attention to the most important thing - your health and happiness.
   • While weight loss may be your goal, your main goal should be to develop a positive image. Burning calories should be a positive “side effect” of what you enjoy doing without being forced. To keep fit, find a way that you enjoy. This will make you love yourself and your body more.
3. 3 Wear clothes that give you confidence. You do not need to dress in any particular style, the main thing is that in these clothes you feel comfortable and confident about your body. Opinions about what is "attractive" and "sexy" are highly subjective and culturally dependent. If you want to create a positive image, it is important to determine which clothes will turn you into the most confident person.
   • In general, it's best not to give too much weight to advice from fashion magazines on how to dress. The words "be confident" are not synonymous with the phrase "be fashionable", especially if this is the current fashion for super skinny pants with a high waist. Try to find a balance between comfort and style to your liking.
   • It's very easy to say that clothes don't matter. Yes, it is not as important to work on it as on other things. However, if you pay a little attention to your appearance, it can generate a massive boost in self-confidence, and clothing is one of the easiest ways to do this. What if a leather jacket will give you confidence? Think about it.
4. 4 Stop comparing yourself to others. The fastest way to develop an unhealthy attitude towards your body and slide into self-loathing is to constantly compare yourself to other people, especially celebrities or style icons. You don't have to look particularly special to someone. What matters is how you look to yourself. And only for yourself.

Part 3 of 3: Maintaining a Positive Mindset

1. 1 Surround yourself with positive people. And while it may seem like you hate everyone, in fact, the reason may be that you are afraid of rejection or attach too much importance to the opinions of others, which causes you a problem with self-esteem. The easiest way to overcome this is to stop communicating with people who are “not for you”. There should be no room for critics, complainers, and haters in your life.
   • Take a closer look at your close friends. Are they experiencing the same problems? Are they projecting their problems and worries onto you? If so, consider breaking the friendship. Find people you can rely on and who don't bog you down.
   • If you are in a relationship with someone who criticizes, manipulates, or literally feeds you with their reproaches, this puts you in a disadvantageous position. You deserve the best. End this relationship and find someone who loves you the way you are.
2. 2 Keep your life in check. Psychologists often talk about the term "locus of control", which can be applied both externally and internally. People in the inner locus of control look at themselves, assessing their success. And people with an external locus? They look out.
   • You cannot change how others perceive you, it’s just a waste of time. Instead, concentrate on shifting your locus of control inward. You do not owe anything to others, you owe only yourself.
3. 3 Go out and be helpful to those around you. If you are struggling with self-loathing, it may be helpful to think about other people for a while and remind yourself how lucky you really are. Volunteering is a great way to build self-esteem and, at the same time, help those in need. If you spend your entire day making a positive contribution to society, by evening it will be hard not to feel valuable and valued.
   • If your job annoys you, switch. Wiping your pants on a chair in the office all day is not for you anymore? Find a more direct way to benefit society. Take the risk of making a difference in your life and devote yourself to your own happiness. You are in control of your life.
4. 4 Find ways to be creative. Instead of whining, get creative and create something. Choose a new hobby or go back to an old one that you gave up for some reason. Want to write a novel? Start painting? Learn to play a musical instrument? Get active and start doing things that you will be constantly proud of.

Tips

• Find someone who will boost your self-esteem, such as a close friend. Avoid negative influences, as this will only exacerbate feelings of self-loathing.
• Don't be afraid to be overly emotional. Emotions are good. By showing them, you are not showing weakness.
• If you don't like telling yourself encouraging attitudes every day, don't force yourself to do so. Yes, for some it helps, but for some people, on the contrary, it causes a negative reaction.

Warnings

• If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please read How to Deal With Suicidal Thoughts.