How to stop thinking you don't deserve anything

Content

Steps
Method 1 of 4: How to Change Your Thinking
Method 2 of 4: How to Get Rid of Negative Energy
Method 3 of 4: How to Change Your Behavior
Method 4 of 4: How to Get Help
Warnings
Similar articles

Sometimes, due to low self-esteem, a person feels that he does not deserve anything good. It is important to resist these thoughts and try to replace them with more positive ones. If the feeling that you do not deserve anything persists for a long time or becomes too strong, you should seek the help of a therapist.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: How to Change Your Thinking

1 Understand why you feel like you don't deserve anything. Understanding the reason for this feeling is the first step to solving the problem. Have you made a big mistake? Do you feel like you are constantly making mistakes? Do you think you cannot get rid of the memories of the past? Would you like to be someone else?
2 Remember, there are no perfect people. Everyone has their flaws, even if outwardly a person seems perfect. Perhaps, to someone you seem ideal too.
3 Determine what thoughts automatically arise in you. Sometimes a person is visited by thoughts that have no basis, and they begin to form a person's attitude. For example, you might be thinking, "I won't get a promotion because I haven't tried hard enough." Pay attention to these thoughts.
4 Rethink automatic thoughts. Did you really try a little? Can you name areas in which you have deep knowledge? What have you been good at lately?
5 Adjust your thoughts. If you catch yourself thinking negatively, try to see the other side in reality. For example, if you think you didn’t deserve a promotion because you didn’t work hard, tell yourself clearly, “I deserve a promotion. I have worked for this company for 5 years in good faith.

Method 2 of 4: How to Get Rid of Negative Energy

1 Try to spend less time in the company of negative people. Does your older sister speak unflattering about your weight every time you see each other? Are you constantly being rude to the parking employee? You may not be able to completely avoid someone's company, but you can reduce the time you spend interacting with them.
- If you believe that a person verbally humiliates you or subject you to psychological abuse, report this to the appropriate authorities. (For example, in case of harassment on the Internet, inform the site administrator about it. If a colleague humiliates you, talk to the manager.)
2 Look for communities of people who help you feel more confident. You may need to start chatting with people you don't normally associate with.
- In the gym, you met a woman who always greets you and asks how are you? Perhaps she would have liked to have coffee with you.
- Are your classmates at the language school always glad to see you? Arrange a meeting with them outside of school.
- Do you have a colleague who often tells interesting stories? Invite him to have lunch with you or walk down the street during his work break.
3 Spend less time on social media. Do you often compare yourself to others on the internet? On social media, people tend to embellish their reality, therefore, comparing your life with the life of your friends on Facebook, you do not see the whole truth.
4 Visit places that make you happy more often. Do you often go to the same museum, library, coffee shop or beautiful park? Try to be there more often so that the change of scenery brings more positive energy into your life.

Method 3 of 4: How to Change Your Behavior

1 Say something nice to yourself every morning. You can say the words out loud or silently. You can say the same thing several times. It may be difficult for you to come up with something new every day, especially at the very beginning, but when you tune in to the positive, it will be easier for you to find something good in yourself.
2 Volunteer. If you are unhappy with your work or personal life, it is especially important for you to feel that you are helping others. Research has shown that the feeling of being influenced by something can significantly increase their level of life satisfaction and self-esteem. Volunteer in a field that you know well.
- If you know how to work with children, try becoming an educator or teacher.
- If you are self-organizing and quick to act, try working in a free cafeteria or thrift thrift store.
- If you know how to handle construction tools, participate in free or low-cost housing programs for low-income people.
3 Achieve small goals. Achieving small goals every day sets you up for success and builds self-esteem.
- For example, losing 10 pounds by the beach season can be an unattainable goal, and you will feel like a failure when you can't get what you want.
- However, you may want to make it a goal not to eat sweets for breakfast every day for a week. This will help you complete the task at hand and compliment yourself every day.
4 Look for reasons to laugh. Laughter promotes the production of the hormones of happiness - endorphins. Laughter improves overall well-being. In addition, if you look at a difficult situation with humor, it will no longer seem so intimidating.
- Watch stand-up on TV or watch comedians perform.
- Watch the comedy series you watched as a child.
- Sign up for laughter yoga.
- Read a funny book.
- Play with small children or pets.
- Play humorous games with your friends.
- To simulate laughter, you can pinch the pencil between your teeth and hold it for 10 minutes. The body will respond to the sensations in the muscles and your mood will improve.
5 Go in for sports. Exercise has a positive effect on your state of mind and self-esteem. Light to moderate exercise (yoga, walking, cleaning the house) is most beneficial.
- If you don't have time for the gym, just try to move more in your daily life. Close your office door at work and do ten squats every hour. Park your car at the far end of the parking lot. Go up the stairs. Go for a walk at lunchtime.
6 Eat healthy foods. Physical health is closely related to self-esteem. Vitamins, minerals, and healthy fats can cheer you up.
- Eat fewer foods high in sugar and caffeine and drink less alcohol.
- Eat foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids: red fish, mackerel, cod.
- Eat foods that are high in vitamin D, including eggs and yogurt (this will increase the concentration of serotonin, a mood-regulating substance, in the brain).
- Eat foods high in vitamin B (spinach, broccoli, meat, dairy products) and you will get more energetic.
7 Get some rest. Sleep has a significant impact on the mental and emotional state. A good night's sleep can change the way you see the world. Try to do the following:
- Go to bed and get up at the same time every day. This will allow your body to establish a natural rhythm and adhere to it on a daily basis.
- Sleep during the day only if absolutely necessary. Try to sleep no longer than 15-20 minutes, otherwise you will not be able to fall asleep in the evening.
- Stop using devices with a screen (phone, TV, laptop) 2 hours before bedtime.
8 Pray. If you are religious, prayer can help you feel better. Prayers together (for example, in a church or temple) will make you feel like you are part of something bigger and lessen the feeling of worthlessness. But prayers alone with yourself will push you to the idea that you are not alone.

Method 4 of 4: How to Get Help

1 Get the support of friends and family. It is important to understand that you are not alone. Very often, a friend or relative can provide the kind of support a person needs to cope with feelings of worthlessness.
2 Ask people you respect to compliment you. Scientists have found that people whose friends compliment them before completing a task do better than people who do not receive such compliments. Praise can be begged for! Your friends and family will remind you that you deserve the best in life.
3 Talk to a therapist. Perhaps some health problem makes you think you don't deserve anything. The doctor will prescribe you vitamins, suggest sports options, or refer you to a specialist.
4 Find a support group. You are not the only one who thinks that you do not deserve anything. For people suffering from low self-esteem, there are special self-help groups. Search the internet for relevant forums.
5 Consider psychotherapy. Signs that indicate the need for a conversation with a psychotherapist include the following:
- strong negative emotions
- severe psychological trauma
- frequent abdominal pain and headaches, as well as other unexplained ailments
- strained relations
6 Learn the signs of depression. If the feeling that you do not deserve anything persists for a long time, there is a possibility that you have clinical depression. Depression is different from simple sadness. With depression, a person constantly feels useless and desperate. Signs of depression that indicate a need for outside help include the following:
- loss of interest in activities and people who used to please
- prolonged lethargy
- sudden changes in appetite and sleep patterns
- inability to concentrate
- sudden changes in mood (especially increased irritability)
- persistent obsessive negative thoughts
- substance abuse
- unexplained pain
- self-loathing or feeling worthless

Warnings

Seek help from a specialist if the feeling that you are worthless persists for several weeks or if you feel that you can no longer tolerate this feeling.
If the feeling that you don't deserve anything escalates into the feeling that you don't deserve the right to live, get help as soon as possible. Talk to a friend, relative, therapist, or call the Psychological Emergency Line at +7 (499) 216-50-50.

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