Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Find support
• Part 2 of 3: Letting go of negative emotions
• Part 3 of 3: Revive Yourself

Emotional abuse is the words and actions that overwhelm you, lower your self-esteem, and make you feel unworthy. It can be insults, humiliation (including public), constant blame, intimidation, isolation (when you are not allowed to see your friends and family), threats, rejection (when the person pretends not to notice you or what you are saying) and control over your finances. Once you've made the decision to leave, it's time to bounce back and move on. Take the first steps towards healing and gaining more control over your life.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Find support

1. 1 Find a therapist. Ending a relationship that has been emotionally abused and moving on is incredibly painful and you may need immediate help. Psychotherapy will provide you with the support you need and can be of immediate benefit. After all, here you can express your feelings, thoughts, fears and experiences. You may be suffering from anxiety and stress, and a therapist can help you process your feelings and experiences.
   • It may be worth contacting a psychotherapist who specializes in trauma or abuse.
   • It can sometimes be difficult to find a specialist affordable. Unfortunately, compulsory health insurance does not cover psychotherapist services. However, in some cities there are centers of free psychological assistance to the population, where highly qualified specialists are receiving them. If your employer or yourself pays for voluntary health insurance (VHI) with the fullest coverage, it probably includes psychotherapy as well.Find out from your insurance company whether your policy covers such services, to what extent and what specialists working on VHI can advise.
   • Another option is to contact the hotline for psychological help for women. You can easily find their phone numbers on the Internet.
   • If there are universities in your city or nearby, you can call them and ask if they have graduate or graduate students who offer free counseling.
   • If none of the above options work for you, you can contact your local church as some clergy are trained to provide psychological help.
   • If you need immediate help, call the emergency services or go to the admission department of the hospital. You may be admitted to a hospital to diagnose your condition.
2. 2 Surround yourself with caring people. During this period, it is important that there are those by your side who will take care of you and help you return to normal life. Explain to your friends and family that you need help and let them take care of you. Perhaps you need shelter, a good conversation partner, or someone who can help you find a job. Be prepared to ask for help and accept support.
   • Sometimes the abuser may deliberately isolate you from friends and family, and you may feel like you have no one to turn to for help. Connect with loved ones and ask for their support. Their reaction may surprise you.
3. 3 Attend group therapy. Group therapy is extremely helpful as it shows that you are not alone in your grief. Meeting other people who have been emotionally abused can help you cope with feelings of shame, guilt, and isolation in an environment full of warmth and support. Being in the company of other people who have experienced a similar problem can be especially helpful if you feel isolated in your unhealthy relationships.
   • In most cases, group therapy is provided by a trained psychologist or psychotherapist who can help you sort out emotions and negative thoughts and suggest problem-solving strategies.
4. 4 Join a support group. In such a group, you will meet other people who have experienced emotional abuse and will be able to support each other. In a group, you can calmly share your story, get support, support others, and feel safe. Group members can give and receive advice and ultimately feel safe in each other's company.
   • A psychological support group is usually organized with the support of psychotherapy centers. Usually a specialist in the field of psychology also takes part in such a group, but the main thing in such groups is meetings with people who have also experienced emotional abuse.
5. 5 End unhealthy relationships. If you are still living with or seeing your abuser, then you must end this relationship immediately. Continuing to be in the company of the abuser, you will continue to be subjected to violence. Get help from friends, family, or local social services to get away from the person.

Part 2 of 3: Letting go of negative emotions

1. 1 Cut all ties. You may want to take revenge, show you how good you are now, or in some way get closer to your abuser. In order to truly move on and really put an end to it, it is better to sever all ties with your abuser. If you live with this person, move out immediately. And while you are recovering from this unhealthy relationship, avoid places where you might accidentally bump into your abuser. If this seems too harsh to you, remind yourself that this person has been intentionally hurting you for a long time, and that you do not want to take any more abuse from him.
   • Delete that person's phone number, any social media contacts, and avoid meeting in person.
   • You may also need to change locks, your phone number, or even contact law enforcement if threats or harassment continues.
2. 2 Be kind to yourself and love yourself. It is important to show kindness and self-love as you work to overcome negative emotions. It will take time, but if you take good care of yourself, encourage yourself with kind words, and show yourself compassion, you can handle it all.
   • Take care of yourself - eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, get plenty of rest, and remember to relax, such as with meditation and yoga.
   • Compliment yourself every day. For example, you can look in the mirror every day and find new positive features in your appearance. You can, for example, say to yourself: "My hair is so beautiful and shiny today!"
   • Show compassion for yourself, for example, write yourself a sympathetic letter on behalf of a friend. Write encouraging words in your letter that a friend could say to you. You could write something like, “I know how hard it was for you to go through all this, but I am so proud that you are working on your healing! You have so much inner strength, it amazes me every day! "
3. 3 Let go of all regrets. You may be feeling guilty or regretful for wasting time in this relationship or for allowing yourself to be disrespectful. You can easily get swallowed up and not let go of the feeling of regret. But accept that you cannot change the past. No matter how strong, deep, or painful your regrets are, there will come a moment when you realize that the pain of regrets is holding you back from moving in life, and it's time to let them go.
   • Regret makes you focus on the past. Live in the present and move towards a wonderful future.
   • Come up with a mantra or positive phrase to remind you to let go of regret. Say, “Sometimes I make mistakes. But I'm still capable, smart, loving and attractive. "
4. 4 Let go of the feeling of shame. You may feel ashamed because of the violence you have experienced. You may be afraid to talk to people about these experiences out of fear that they might judge you, respect you less, or change their minds about you. Shame makes you think that something is wrong with you or that you are not worthy of what other people have, such as love, happiness, and success. Shame can hurt you, affect your self-esteem, and make you feel worse than others.
   • If the offender humiliated you with the words: “You are nothing, no one loves you, you will never achieve anything in this life,” stop believing this lie immediately. You are as worthy as the people around you.
   • Try to transform what the abuser told you into positive phrases, for example, “You are a kind, intelligent and empathetic person. Your friends and family love you. You deserve to be happy. "
5. 5 Don't blame yourself. When you take responsibility for what happened, remember that the abuser chooses the violent behavior. He may say that he just lost control, but remember that insults are the way a person chooses to show strength. Violent behavior is a conscious choice.
   • Recognize that the person is responsible for their behavior, and you are not responsible for their words and behavior.
6. 6 Sorry. Forgive yourself for feeling guilty and ashamed about abusive relationships. And when you're ready, forgive the abuser and release him from your life. Anger, bitterness, or rage only serves as proof that this person still has some kind of power over you. Decide to let go of these negative feelings and let go of the abuser's hold on you. Be able to forgive, and then peace of mind and well-being will come to you.
   • Forgiving does not mean taking the insult as normal or pretending it never happened. It also doesn't mean that you are making excuses for the abuser's behavior or that you will immediately stop being angry and in pain. This means letting go of your negative feelings for your own emotional freedom.

Part 3 of 3: Revive Yourself

1. 1 Recognize your rights. You are not alone, violence is not your fault, and no one in the world deserves any kind of violence. The first step to healing from abuse is to admit that you have done absolutely nothing to deserve disrespect. As a person, you deserve to be treated with respect from the people around you - both strangers and relatives and romantic partners.
   • Recognize that everyone has the right to be treated with respect, to have their say, to change their minds, and to be heard.
2. 2 Make your own decisions. A psychologically abusive person often forces you to put their needs and wants ahead of your own. This desire for harmony and lack of conflict can slowly overwhelm your voice, leaving you feeling like you don't know who you are or what you want. Learn to hear your inner voice again. One way to do this is to start making decisions on your own and learn not to doubt yourself.
   • It can be scary to make decisions on your own at first, start small and build your confidence. Try asking yourself something simple, like, “What do I want for dessert today? Cherry ice cream or chocolate? "
   • As you gain confidence in making simple decisions, you will begin to feel more confident in making more difficult decisions.
   • Try to design a system for making tough decisions. You might, for example, first clearly define the problem and then use the pros and cons to evaluate your options.
3. 3 Reexamine your preferences. After suffering emotional abuse, you may have lost the concept of your own preferences. Take the time to rediscover your likes and dislikes. Do what brings you happiness and joy. Do what you like to youwithout worrying about pleasing anyone else.
   • To get started, you can go to the candle shop and find the scent you like. You can also cook a meal or buy foods that you like, even if others don't like them.
4. 4 Recognize your positive qualities. You may feel like your self-esteem has dropped below the baseboard after experiencing an emotionally abusive relationship. Think and acknowledge your own positive qualities. Bring back memories of yourself before the violence and remember that your essence has not changed and you still have these qualities. Remind yourself of the beauty within you that hasn't gone anywhere.
   • Make a diary entry. Ask yourself: "What positive traits, qualities, and characteristics do I like about myself?" Are you a kind, generous, empathetic and helpful person? Do you take good care of your pets, children or relatives? What do you like about yourself?
   • Thinking about what you're good at is a great way to boost your self-esteem. Are you a good chef, an outstanding athlete, a skilled craftsman, or a talented artist? Think about what you are doing well.