Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Protect Your Emotional Health
• Part 2 of 4: Find Positive Ways to Affirm Yourself
• Part 3 of 4: Work to improve communication
• Part 4 of 4: Understand Your Wife's Behavior
• Tips

Reproaches and complaints are a common problem for many married couples. This behavior usually begins when one of the partners feels unnecessary, as well as when this is the only way to get something you want. If your wife is constantly dissatisfied with something, do not be discouraged. There are several ways to deal with this problem. Try to remain calm and respectful of your wife during times of stress. If possible, try to distract yourself from the situation. However, such problems still need to be addressed. So make the necessary changes in your life to create happier, more harmonious relationships.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Protect Your Emotional Health

1. 1 Try to calm down. In a tense moment, you may feel that you can no longer tolerate the reproaches and complaints of your wife. Of course, this behavior can be very upsetting and emotionally painful. However, do your best not to let the situation upset you too much. Anger and pain have negative consequences for mental and physical health.
   • Chances are, you're under stress because of your wife's constant frustration. Do whatever you can to prevent stress from harming your health. The effects of stress can manifest themselves in different ways: headaches, heart palpitations and hyperventilation syndrome.
   • Take five deep breaths in and out. Inhale and exhale slowly. This will help you calm down.
   • After the unpleasant situation is resolved, listen to soothing music or take a hot shower.
2. 2 Go away. Reproaches and complaints make life unbearable.If you constantly hear reproaches from your wife, you have every right to leave. Nobody has the right to treat you like that.
   • Tell your wife that you no longer want to hear hurtful words. You might say, “I'm going to take a walk to calm down. You very much offend me with your words. "
3. 3 Become aware of your emotions. If you are constantly dealing with reproaches and complaints, it is important for you to be aware of the emotions you are experiencing at such moments. By suppressing your emotions, you will feel much worse. Instead, work on being aware of your emotions. You may experience the following emotions:
   • Anger
   • Disappointment
   • Anxiety
   • Self-doubt
4. 4 Take care of yourself. Taking care of your emotional health is very important. If you are under constant stress, be sure to take care of yourself and your health. Give yourself a break and be kind to yourself.
   • Spend time outdoors. Take a guided tour or play sports.
   • Indulge in your favorite meal.
   • Watch the movie you've always wanted to see.
5. 5 Spill out negative emotions. Don't suppress negative emotions. This can lead to even more irritability and anger. Don't hold negative emotions to yourself. Learn to express them. Thanks to this, you can relax and calm down.
   • Make an appointment with a close friend. Tell him you need to talk.
   • Keep a diary. Write your feelings in a journal. He will help you release negative emotions.

Part 2 of 4: Find Positive Ways to Affirm Yourself

1. 1 Determine the nature of the problem. No one likes to be reproached or complained about. What annoys you the most about your wife's reproaches and complaints: her demands or the way they are formulated? Or do you not like the fact that she does it all the time?
   • Are you annoyed when your wife asks you to take out the trash? Or are you upset that she asks you to do this after you return from work?
   • If you correctly formulate the essence of the problem, you will be able to successfully solve it.
2. 2 Try to negotiate. If you make your demands, your wife may become defensive. Don't insist that she change her behavior immediately. Do it gently and kindly.
   • For example, you can ask her to go to a meeting with you.
   • You might say, “I would love to throw away the trash. However, I do not really want to do this after returning home from work. I'm ready to throw out the trash in the morning. "
3. 3 Tell her how you feel. If you are under stress, the likelihood of an argument increases significantly. Do your best not to argue with your wife. Be honest with her how you feel.
   • Build sentences that begin with "I" more often - this will show that you are taking responsibility for your actions and are not blaming your wife for the problem.
   • You can say, "I get annoyed when you ask me to do something several times."
4. 4 Stick to your position. If your wife doesn't understand you, you may feel discouraged. However, do not change your mind if you are confident that you are right. Remind yourself that your feelings matter a lot.
   • Tell yourself that no one has the right to ignore your emotions. Even if your wife disagrees with your point of view, do not doubt that your feelings are correct.

Part 3 of 4: Work to improve communication

1. 1 Listen carefully. If you want to understand your wife's point of view, listen to what she has to say. Take the time to improve your communication with her. Become an active listener.
   • When your wife says something, be sure to listen to her. Non-verbal cues will show that you are paying attention to her words. To do this, maintain eye contact and nod when necessary.
   • After your wife's last words, summarize briefly what she said to you.For example: "I realized that you don't like it when I help you little around the house."
2. 2 Try to negotiate. You should talk openly and honestly with your wife about her behavior. Try to find common ground during the conversation. You may find that you both get upset about the same things.
   • You might say, “I agree that our family has an uneven distribution of household responsibilities. How can we solve this problem? This has been very troubling to me lately. ”
3. 3 Show affection. Constant reproaches can be a real problem for you. However, focus on the positive qualities of the wife that are attractive to you. Show affection for each other.
   • Hug your wife every day.
   • When you watch TV together, rub her shoulders gently.
4. 4 Make sure your wife hears and understands you. If you constantly hear reproaches in your address, most likely, you have repeatedly asked your wife to stop doing this. She may be listening and agreeing with you. However, this does not mean that your wife hears what you want to tell her. If your spouse heard what you want to say to her, by her actions she will show that she understood your request.
   • If your wife is still acting, chances are she doesn't understand what you want from her. Do your best to make her understand you.
   • You might say, “I told you before that I have negative feelings: pain, anger, and frustration. I see you did not understand me, as you continue to reproach and show discontent, despite the fact that you are hurting me with this. Please try to understand me. "
5. 5 Consult a psychologist. Relationships sometimes come to a standstill. If you, with your best efforts, see that the problem is not being solved, consult a psychologist. Through such counseling, many married couples have been able to cope with relationship problems and improve communication.
   • Ask your wife if she wants to go to counseling with you. This way you can work together to solve the problem.
   • If your wife is not ready to go to a psychologist with you, you can consult with him yourself. A psychologist can help you deal with your feelings and emotions.
6. 6 Reconsider the problem. It is very important to find a solution to the problem. The longer you experience negative emotions, the more harm you will do to your health. If your wife is doing the same, reconsider the problem.
   • Make it clear to your spouse that you are not going to leave this problem unresolved.
   • You might say, “We discussed this issue with you last week, but I don't see any positive changes. I want you to understand that your behavior is causing me pain. "
7. 7 Insist on change. If you see no improvement, you can insist that your wife take action. If you have repeatedly tried to talk to her about this and even resorted to the help of a psychologist, it may be time to make clear demands.
   • Consider if your wife's constant reproaches actually make you feel extremely negative. If this is not the case, you can keep trying to reach out to your wife.
   • If you can no longer tolerate this behavior of your wife, tell her about it. You can say: “I can no longer live in such a tense state. If you don’t start to change, I will be forced to take extreme measures, pause in our relationship. ”

Part 4 of 4: Understand Your Wife's Behavior

1. 1 Look at the problem more broadly. Try to put yourself in your wife's shoes. Does it really upset her that you don't throw out the trash? Or maybe something else is the problem? Too often, people focus on a lesser problem to hide their concerns about something more serious to them.
   • It is possible that your wife thinks that you do not hear her requests. This can lead to the fact that she will continue to reproach you for not taking out the trash.However, this behavior may indicate that she wants you to just listen to her and understand.
2. 2 Show interest in her. Chances are, your wife needs more attention from you. It is also possible that she does not know how to correctly express her emotions. Try to understand what is bothering your spouse.
   • Does your wife constantly complain that you come home late from work? Although these words are unpleasant to hear, in fact, in this way, she may be trying to show you that she wants to spend more time together.
   • Spend more time with your wife. Set aside time to talk to your wife at least once a week. You may find that her rebuke will diminish.
3. 3 Talk about the problem again. If you think the problem is not about garbage at all, think about what might be causing your wife to behave like this. Then put your thoughts into words. Talk to your wife and try to find a solution to the problem.
   • You might say, “You say that I'm always too busy to take out the trash. Do you feel like I'm not paying enough attention to you? "
   • Formulate the problem again, explaining your point of view. You might say, “You may feel like I’m ignoring your requests. But in fact, I want to talk to you first, and only then do chores around the house. "
4. 4 Focus on the fact that the wife's demands are well-intentioned. Of course, when your wife rebukes you, it can be difficult to focus on her positive qualities. She may be annoyed or express her displeasure. However, try to focus on this. Think about what drives her when she says something unpleasant to you. As you reflect on this, you may find that she only wishes the best for you.
   • For example, your spouse may constantly say that you need to go to the gym. Most likely, she just cares about your physical health.

Tips

• Express your feelings clearly and clearly. Be prepared to stand up for yourself.
• Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship.
• If you feel you might be having an argument with your wife, take a break to calm down.