How to lose virginity without pain

Video: How to LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY Without Pain (or Minimal Pain): 11 Practical Tips

Content

Steps
Part 1 of 3: Create a positive attitude
Part 2 of 3: Examine Your Body
Part 3 of 3: Have fun
Tips
Warnings
What do you need

Losing your virginity can be intimidating to you, and the various myths on this topic are by no means reassuring. However, while some women experience pain during their first penetrative sex, this does not mean that it will necessarily be the same with you. Having an open conversation with your partner and understanding what happens during intercourse will help you relax in advance. Try to create the right mindset and use the right tools, and your first sexual experience will not only be positive, but enjoyable as well.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Create a positive attitude

1 Make sure you are ready for sex first.. It's okay to be nervous and stressed before your first sex. But if you constantly feel a lot of tension when thinking about sex or fooling around with a guy, then you should probably wait. If you have sex without being mentally prepared for it, it will be less enjoyable and you will not be able to relax in the process.
- As a child grows up, many parents and other adults teach him that sex is a shameful activity, that you need to “keep yourself” before marriage, that sex should only take place between an adult man and a woman. If the very thought of sex makes you feel embarrassed and guilty, chances are you should wait. Try talking to someone about your feelings.
- It's okay to feel a little insecure about your body. But if you’re just afraid or don’t want to undress because you’re embarrassed about your appearance, this is a clear sign that you are simply not ready to have sex with a partner.
- Don't be shy about your sexual preferences. Only you can decide what you like best and what kind of sex you would like to try.
2 Talk to your partner. Having a conversation can help build trust between you and make you feel more confident before having sex. A good partner should be attentive to your feelings and be ready to help you deal with insecurities. If your boyfriend puts too much pressure on you or makes you feel uncomfortable, think again about whether to have sex with him.
- Talk about precautions before approaching the topic of sex. For example, you might say, “Look, I’m taking birth control pills, but you’re going to use a condom anyway, right?”
- Tell your partner about your fears and expectations, talk about how you are feeling. For example, you might say, "I am very worried that the first sex is very painful."
- Tell your partner about things that you would like to try, as well as what you are not interested in yet. For example, you might say, "I'm not against oral sex, but I'm not ready for anal sex yet."
- If you're nervous or afraid, talk about it. If your partner is oblivious to your concerns, this may indicate that your partner is simply not taking you seriously.
3 Find a trusted adult to discuss the topic with. You may feel embarrassed about discussing sex with an adult, but you just need to choose the right person to whom you want to seek help. This could be your parent, doctor, nurse, school counselor, or older brother or sister. Adults can give you helpful advice, answer your questions, and suggest contraception. Even if you end up not talking to that person beforehand, you need someone you can reach out to in a difficult or unforeseen situation.
- If you feel like your partner is pressuring you and forcing you to have sex, talk to an adult. Remember, you don't have to have sex if you don't feel like it. Don't let anyone force you to do something you don't want.

Part 2 of 3: Examine Your Body

1 Understand the physiological processes that take place during sex. Understanding your own anatomy will help you feel more confident, especially if your partner is also a virgin. It is important to know what processes can occur during sex, which ones are normal, and which ones are better not to be ignored. On the Internet, you can find sites with information on this topic.
- Masturbation can also help you understand what you enjoy when it comes to sex. Before you have sex with your partner, try experimenting with yourself.
2 Explore your hymen. Contrary to popular belief, the hymen usually does not cover the vaginal opening unless it has a cloisonne structure or microperforation. In fact, this is not a "seal at the entrance", but a formation of muscle and skin tissue that surrounds the vaginal opening, just as other muscles and skin surround the anal. It can be damaged by using a tampon, performing twine, having sex, or inserting large enough objects inside. This damage is what causes the pain that girls experience the first time they have sex.
- If the hymen is damaged or ruptured, bleeding is usually observed. It occurs during and after intercourse. However, there should be much less blood than during menstruation.
- A stretching or tearing of your hymen shouldn't be too painful. Pain during sex is more caused by friction. This happens when you have too little lubrication or not aroused enough.
3 Understand the angle at which the vagina is located. Helping your partner get into you at the right angle can avoid painful penetration. In most cases, the vagina is tilted slightly forward (towards the abdomen). That is, if you stand up, the vagina will be at a 45-degree angle to the floor.
- If you use tampons, pay attention to how you insert the tampon, at what angle. Try to stick to the same angle during sex.
- If you are not using tampons, simply insert your finger into your vagina while you shower. Point your finger towards your lower back. If you are uncomfortable, slide it forward a little until you find a comfortable point.
4 Find the clitoris. Women rarely experience orgasm only from penetration, but it is almost always caused by caress and stimulation of the clitoris. Oral sex or stimulation of the clitoris before penetration (i.e. classic sex) will help relax the muscles.
- Before having sex, study your clitoris. It can be found with a mirror and flashlight, or when masturbating. This way, you will be able to guide your partner during sex. This is especially important if your partner is also a virgin.
- Orgasm before penetration can actually help relieve pain during sex. Try oral sex before penetration as a foreplay. The partner can also stimulate the clitoris with their fingers or a toy.

Part 3 of 3: Have fun

1 Choose a quiet place for your first sex. If you are constantly worried that you may be interrupted, you will not be able to relax. Make it easy for yourself and your partner by choosing the right time and place where you will not be disturbed.
- Find a place to retreat. There must be a bed or other comfortable furniture on which you can lie down. Pick a time when none of you is in a hurry.
- Think about whether it will be more convenient for you to have sex with yourself or with a partner.
- If you live in a hostel or rent an apartment more than one, ask your roommate to go somewhere this evening and leave you and your boyfriend alone.
2 Create a light, relaxed mood. There should be a calm atmosphere in the room. Put things in order, turn off your phone, and remove all things and objects that bother you or prevent you from focusing on your partner.
- Subdued lighting, quiet music and warmth in the room will help you feel calm and comfortable.
- Consider taking a shower beforehand and putting yourself in order so that you feel relaxed and confident at the most crucial moment.
3 Get mutual agreement. It is important that you both talk openly and agree on sex. If you don’t know how your partner is feeling about this, get his opinion before moving forward. Just because your partner hasn’t told you “no,” doesn’t mean he’s definitely in agreement. The partner should answer you with an absolutely confident "yes".
- If your partner doesn't want sex, don't insist. If you don't want sex, your partner should also not insist when you say no.
- Consent also means that you shouldn't do what your partner doesn't want to do.
4 Use condoms. Condoms not only protect against pregnancy, but also against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Prevention can help you relax if you are worried about an unwanted pregnancy or infection. Remember that other methods of protection do not protect you from STIs, so a condom provides an extra layer of protection. If your partner refuses to use a condom, think again if you want to have sex with him.
- There are both male and female condoms.
- The most important thing about condoms is how they fit. Your best bet is to buy several different types of condoms. Try each one and see which works best for you. If your partner is allergic to latex, latex-free condoms are a great alternative.
- You should wear a condom before sex and remove it only after intercourse. This will increase your protection against STIs and pregnancy.
5 Use a lubricant. Lubrication (lubricant) will reduce friction, thereby relieving pain and discomfort. Plus, it prevents the condom from breaking during sex. Before penetration, apply the lubricant to your partner's penis (directly on the condom) or to the sex toy.
- If you use latex condoms, do not use oil-based lubricant. It kind of weakens the latex structure and can cause the condom to break. Try using a silicone or water based lubricant instead.You can use the lubricant with a polyurethane or latex-free condom.
6 Do not hurry. Try to enjoy the moment, don't rush to the finish line! Spend time together, discuss what you and your partner like. Start with kissing, gradually move on. Stick to the pace that is most comfortable for you.
- Foreplay can help you relax and increase your arousal. Plus, foreplay will give you more natural lubrication, so the guy can easily enter you.
- Remember that you can end the intimacy at any time. Consent is valid until you feel comfortable. You have the right to change your mind and refuse intimacy at any time.
7 Talk about your needs. Don't be afraid to say what you need at the moment. If you liked something and you feel great, tell your partner about it. If something is causing you pain or discomfort, it is worth saying that too. Your boyfriend should be willing to help you and do his best to make you feel pleasure, not pain.
- If you feel pain, try slowing your pace a little, ask your partner to move a little softer and more gently, apply more lubricant. For example, if you feel pain, you might say, “Do you mind if we slow down a little? It hurts a little now. "
- You can invite your partner to try a different position if the one you are in is uncomfortable for you. For example, if you are on top, you will have better control over the penetration angle and pace.
8 Take care of yourself after your first sex. If you are in pain or bleeding, you should take action right away. For example, you can take regular over-the-counter pain relievers, put on clean underwear, and put on a thin pad for a few hours. If the pain is severe, talk to a trusted adult or see a doctor.

Tips

If you experience excruciating pain or heavy bleeding, see your doctor as soon as possible.
If you feel like it’s not time this time, feel free to tell your partner that you would like to wait a little longer. A guy who really cares about you will appreciate that you respect and care for yourself. If you change your mind, it's okay to say so!
During sex, you may be tempted to use the toilet. This is fine. This feeling can be alleviated by going to the bathroom before sex. If you still experience this feeling (despite an empty bladder), you may be able to experience female ejaculation.
You should always go to the toilet after sex to prevent bladder infections.
Make an appointment with the gynecologist for more before thathow to start having a sex life. The gynecologist will not only examine you, but will also suggest different methods of protection and tell you about sexually transmitted infections.
Always use a water-based lubricant, not petroleum jelly, oil, moisturizer, or other greasy products. Oil-based lubricants can damage latex-based condoms and cause pain and irritation, as well as vaginal yeast infections.
Almost no one has perfect first sex, so let go of your expectations and illusions. It's okay for your first sex to go much worse than you planned.
Use a condom even if you are already taking birth control pills. Hormonal oral contraceptives (pills) prevent unwanted pregnancies, but do not prevent STIs. Even with the first sex, there is a chance of contracting an STI.

Warnings

Don't give in to pressure from your partner. This should be your decision, not someone else's.
Do not drink alcohol or take any substances or pills for fear of pain. Believe me, this can only aggravate the situation.
If you know that your partner has already had several partners before you, ask him to get tested for STIs.STIs are transmitted through vaginal, oral and anal sex. People can carry STIs without showing any symptoms. You can reduce your chances of contracting an STI by using condoms and other barrier methods.
If you are taking birth control pills and other medicines (such as antibiotics), the combination may affect the effectiveness of the contraceptive. Before starting any medication, check with your doctor to find out if there are any negative interactions with birth control pills.
There is a chance of getting pregnant even with the first sex. Condoms are quite effective protection when used correctly, but if possible, it is better to use another type of contraception along with a condom.