Content

• To step
• Tips
• Warnings

Being the mistress of a married man is not something to be taken lightly. There are simply no good reasons to seduce someone into an affair. However, it is usually the married man who seduces the other. If you love him and he loves you, he should simply leave his wife and divorce so he can be with you. But that's not always the best solution for everyone. Plus, if he's not willing to do that, then you can be sure that he still loves his wife, so you are expendable. Don't confuse sex with love, because that doesn't always work. Therefore, do not assume that when he makes love to you, he loves you and that he does not love her then; the opposite can easily be the case. Men can love their wives and still sleep with someone else. Keep in mind that making love to a married man is no joke. It's an affair that comes with a high price tag. Several people can be hurt by the affair, and unfortunately that is usually the case.

To step

1. Think very carefully about your motives. If you are attracted to a married man and it is mutual, ask yourself if you really want to continue this relationship knowing that you will spend vacations alone, and that you will always come second in relation to his family.
2. Be discreet. Know that if you do things that could lead his wife to discover your secret, he will only hate you for doing such a thing. He will most likely leave you then.
3. Be willing to do your best to make him want to be with you more than his wife. You are expendable, they are not. She has worked hard for what she has achieved, and she will not give it up anytime soon. His kids need him, and if he's the kind of guy you think he is, he's not going to want to hurt his kids.
4. Make sure your time together is unforgettable. This involves doing fun, light-hearted things with each other, such as being very intimate with each other, getting into fantasies with each other, and listening to him when he needs to talk. These are simply things he wants from you. Be his dream woman; he already has enough reality in his life.
5. Give him the unconditional love he craves. If you really want him to stay with you, then you have to accept that he won't choose you. This doesn't mean you have to be some kind of doormat. A long-term relationship is built on trust, intimacy and respect, like any good relationship. Usually long-term relationships are also intellectual in nature, and not only love and the physical aspect are central.
6. Make sure you have your own time and space. Make sure he understands that you have a life without him too. You are not his slave; you are his respected mistress and confidant.
7. If you do things like manipulate, threaten to end the affair, and play childish games, you just come off as immature and insecure, which isn't exactly attractive. He'll just wonder why he's with someone who's acting so weird.
8. While you are likely to be ridiculously jealous of his wife, it is important not to speak contemptuously of her in front of him. First of all, it is not necessary - after all, you are the one taking something that is not yours, and so you are in no position to judge her at all. Second, you come across as catty and insecure if you act like that. There is no reason to be angry with his wife because she happened to be the first to get his attention.
9. Just imagine how you would feel if someone went to bed with your husband, the father of your children. Put yourself in that position and ask yourself why you are doing something so hurtful and tearing apart a family ... the term "home wrecker" was coined for a reason.
10. Find a loved one who really goes for you and deserves you, in a HEALTHY relationship and one who has a FUTURE - because they don't. He will not leave her for you ... you are second choice and you better accept that position ... because otherwise you better go and look for a more traditional relationship ...
11. Don't break hearts!
12. Be aware that, in these times of violence and turmoil, your life may be in danger if the deceived wife finds out. Are you willing to take this risk? Are you willing to be seen by others as the mistress of an adulterer? Remember that an adulteress is a better detective than someone from the AIVD. She will find out and pillory you.

Tips

• It helps if you are an independent woman who enjoys taking on challenges and being alone.
• If you meet someone during the affair who might just become your boyfriend or husband, seize the opportunity with both hands, because your married husband will not leave his wife anyway, the chance is just too small.
• Anything you say to him should be flattering and flatter his ego. Under no circumstances criticize him.
• Look at the affair as an extra nice asset in your life, instead of a relationship. After all, you can't ask a married man to be your boyfriend because he's simply not in a position to fill that role. You will have to accept that you are sharing it with someone else.
• Leave no traces - it may feel good to read letters / texts / apps, but you WILL get caught.
• Create an e-mail account for the two of you in which you can send flirty e-mails and photos to each other and which is not accessible to anyone else.
• If you truly care about each other, you can build a wonderful friendship that will endure (and maybe even replace) the initial novelty and excitement that isn't important in the long run. Making sure the affair has depth will keep it from becoming trivial or rancid. If there is no real care and commitment, it may be time you considered the affair.
• Make sure you don't call or message him when he's at home with her. Give him the opportunity to contact you. If he contacts you first, you know it's safe to talk or send messages.

Warnings

• The more you expect from an extramarital relationship, the greater the disappointment will be.
• This will not work out well. Even if he leaves his wife for you, how do you know he won't look for another mistress?
• Be aware that you may not be as strong and independent as you think. You will likely be hurt.
• The chance of being hurt is very high. Most men just don't leave their wives unless they get caught. And even then, they will likely try to resolve the situation with her, which in practice usually means abandoning their mistress. If you try to separate the couple, you will act as their enemy, and you will lose him even if his wife leaves him.