Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 5: Laying the foundation
• Method 2 of 5: Changing Your Thinking Pattern
• Method 3 of 5: Changing Feeling Patterns
• Method 4 of 5: Changing Behavior
• Method 5 of 5: Adding the final touches
• Tips
• Warnings

Personality is a collection of patterns - thoughts, behaviors, and sensations - that make up who you are. And what do you think? Models can be changed. This needs work, but if you are truly committed to this idea, then anything can happen. Remember, however, that your old personality is likely to shine through on a regular basis, as our beliefs and thinking are shaped by our life experiences.

Steps

Method 1 of 5: Laying the foundation

1. 1 Write your plan. This action is in two ways: what you want to change and what you want to become. You cannot get one without the other. Achievement takes a tremendous amount of effort, you will need to know which fight to pick before you start.
   • How will your projected new character contribute to your development as a person? At this stage, many people come to the conclusion that what is needed is not a personality change, but rather one small habit that has a negative impact on your interactions with other people. Small enough?
   • If there is someone you would like to be more like, recognize what you want to emulate. Don't just look at the person and say, "Yes, I want to be like that." Understand what exactly you admire - how does this person deal with different situations? How to speak? How to walk or move? More importantly, how does this contribute to this person's well-being?
2. 2 Tell someone. One of the reasons Alcoholics Anonymous is so successful is because you bring out things that you don't usually talk about. If someone else stimulates your responsibility, then you get extrinsic motivation that you would not otherwise get.
   • Talk to a friend about what you want to achieve. If you trust this person, then he will be able to nudge you in the right direction (either he will tell you that you are funny, or he will not let you go astray). The extra brain power and a pair of eyes farther away from the painting, if you like, will help you understand how to behave and what impression you are making.
3. 3 Establish a reward system. It could be anything. Anything... It can be as small as moving glass beads from one pocket to another, or as big as a vacation. Whatever it is, make it worthwhile for you.
   • And set breakpoints on it. If you walk up to that pretty girl and can say something, great! This is already something. If you go up to her next week and can tell her a whole joke, great! Reward yourself for everything, it's a tough task.

Method 2 of 5: Changing Your Thinking Pattern

1. 1 Don't be labeled. When you think of yourself as a shy and withdrawn person, you use that as a reference. Why don't you go to that party on Friday? …That's it. You have no reason. When you stop considering yourself in one way or another, the world opens up to you.
   • You are constantly changing. If you think of yourself as a botanist, you may find that you have these characteristics. But if you realize that you are constantly growing and changing, then you can open up to opportunities that inspire that growth, opportunities that you would otherwise shy away from.
2. 2 Stop thinking in “unchanging” terms. As with labels, stop thinking in black and white only. Guys, it's not scary, authority is not evil, and textbooks are really useful.Once you understand what exactly your perception things define it for you, you will see more options and therefore more behaviors.
   • Some people view certain traits as “immutable,” and this greatly influences their behavior. The opposite would be the “growth” mindset, in which the beholder considers the traits to be malleable and constantly changing. These ways of thinking are developed in early childhood and can significantly affect the personality. If you believe that things are “immutable,” then you do not believe that you can change them. How do you see the world? It can determine how you see yourself in a relationship, how you deal with conflicts, and how quickly you recover from setbacks.
3. 3 Drive out negative thoughts. Just stop. The beauty of your mind is that it is part of you and therefore you control it. If you caught yourself thinking “Oh, God, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” then you probably cannot. When that voice starts to speak, shut it up. It will not do you any good.
   • Slip a rubber band around your wrist and spank it when bad thoughts begin.
   • When a voice appears, have it speak in the voice of Donald Duck. It will be much more difficult to take it seriously.
   • Keep your head high. Literally. Changing your body language can actually change how you feel and, therefore, think.

Method 3 of 5: Changing Feeling Patterns

1. 1 Fake until you create. There is a saying in Zen Buddhism that you need to go out through the door. If you want to become less shy, approach people and talk to them. If you admire those who read a lot, start reading. Just dive in. People have bad habits, but there are ways to change them.
   • Nobody needs to know that deep down you feel that you are going through death. Do you know why? Because soon enough it will pass. The mind has a wonderful ability to adapt. What once shook your back will, after a sufficient period of time, become your old favorite hat.
2. 2 Pretend to be a different person. Okay, the method of playing someone else's role got a bad reputation, but if Dustin Hoffman did it, then we can try too. With this method, you are completely immersed in someone else. It is not you, this is the new creature that you are trying to be.
   • It's 24/7. You must adopt the habits of this new character in any situation. How does he sit? What is his facial expression in a calm situation? What worries him? How does he kill time? Who is he associated with?
3. 3 Set aside time for quirks. Okay, telling you to completely give up who you are and take on a new persona simply by the power of thought and habit is ridiculous. There is no way you can stick to it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So give yourself some time to feel the way you want.
   • If you are throwing a party on Friday that you are terribly afraid of, tell yourself that on Friday night or Saturday morning you will devote 20 minutes just to completely worry about it. 20 minutes of absolute illogicality and unproductiveness. But beyond that, nothing. Stick to it. Do you know what's going to happen? Ultimately, you will find that you don’t need to devote time to this at all.

Method 4 of 5: Changing Behavior

1. 1 Throw yourself into new conditions. In fact, the only way to see a change in yourself is to add something new to your life. To do this, you will need to adopt new behaviors, new people, and new activities. You cannot do the same thing over and over and expect different results.
   • Start small. Join the club. Get a job beyond your skills and abilities. Start reading about it. Also, don't go back to old conditions.You don't want to spend time with people who are doing the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.
   • Put yourself in condition. If you are afraid of spiders, go to the room where there is one. Day after day, a centimeter closer to him. You will end up sitting next to him. Later still, you will keep it. Constant exposure dulls the feeling of fear in the brain. Now take the "spiders" and replace them with whatever is your goal.
2. 2 Keep a diary. You will need a fairly strong sense of self-awareness to stay on track. Keeping a journal can help you sort through your thoughts and analyze how you dealt with this change. Write down what worked and what didn't to fine tune your method.
3. 3 Say yes. If you find it difficult to throw yourself into new conditions, think about it this way: Stop giving up opportunities. If you see a sign that you previously thought was uninteresting, look again. If a friend asks you to do something that you know absolutely nothing about, agree. You will become much better at this.
   • But remember to make safe decisions. If someone asks you to go cliff jumping, don't. Use your brain.

Method 5 of 5: Adding the final touches

1. 1 Dress up. Okay, clothes don't make a person, but they can help you with the right mindset. While this does not change your personality at all, it can serve to you a reminder of the person you are trying to become.
   • It can be as small as a hat. If there is anything that points to this new personality for you, keep it in sight. This makes you more likely to stay in tune with yourself and reduce cognitive dissonance.
2. 2 Pick up habits. Clothing and thinking patterns may not be enough. Think about what this new person would do and do it. Will she seek social interaction? Steer clear of social media? Read an economic journal? Whatever it is, do it.
   • It doesn't always have to be big - little things work too. Would she wear a pink purse? Would he listen to a specific band? Get into the image as much as possible.
3. 3 Settle down. Now that you've acquired these new habits and probably new friends and new activities, you may feel a little shy. Now it is important to accept yourself, whoever you are and wherever you are. Grab your nails and decide that you stay.
   • It is risky to uproot oneself psychologically. If you succeed, you may need time to feel that you are truly “you”. Relax. This feeling will come when you hold on to your desire for those close to your well-being.
4. 4 Think about your new personality. Have you really achieved what you wanted to achieve? Do people think more positively of you now that you act and dress differently? Are you willing to sacrifice yourself to imitate the perfect person?
   • Many people at this stage will understand that they do not need a change in personality, but an acceptance of who they are and a willingness to try to improve themselves instead of hiding under an artificial image that they take on in public.

Tips

• Don't be discouraged if you don't change right away, it will take a while.
• If you think you can't change who you are because of your parents or other people in your life, change the little things. Cut out the habits you don't like and introduce new ones. If mom or dad asks what happened, explain to them that your self-esteem is okay, that you are just trying to feel more comfortable with yourself.
• Change slowly. A drastic change can provoke questions. Address your problem and work with that area. It will become natural over time.
• Remember, you don't have to change who you are to make people like you. It's hard to accept yourself for who you are, especially when you're in a bad mood but love yourself.Then others will be able to.
• Start in the summer and then in the fall people will see a new you.
• Never change who you are just because others don't like you. If you’re a nerd, don’t get cute just because they are “cool”. Take a look at a group of real Goths at your school. They all stand and laugh at the cuties and joke about how the school bullies will work for them one day.

Warnings

• Understand that if you make drastic changes in your personality, new you may not like your friends.