How to talk to your wife or girlfriend about oral sex

Content

Steps
Method 1 of 4: Delicately touching on this topic
Method 2 of 4: Talk about how she feels
Method 3 of 4: Continue
Method 4 of 4: Give her pleasure
Tips
Warnings
Additional articles

Many men find oral sex as one of the most attractive ways to express their love and passion. However, not all girls are ready to have oral sex without discussing it with a partner. Having an honest conversation with your girlfriend will help her overcome her fear and decide to take this step. You may feel embarrassed and embarrassed to start this conversation, but talking about your intimate life strengthens the relationship (even if your girlfriend is opposed at first) because it requires a certain level of trust. The first step towards oral sex is to talk about it, but in this matter you need to find the most delicate way to start a conversation.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Delicately touching on this topic

1 Be honest, open, and caring when talking about sex. The key to any conversation (not just once, but in general in a relationship) is communication. Find out what she likes, what turns her on, what gives her pleasure. While you are talking about her preferences, be sure to mention yours. An intimate conversation should always take place in a suitable setting, and both you and your girlfriend should be involved. In addition to oral sex for couples, there are many intimate conversation topics with which you can bring a conversation to a blowjob:
- What do you like and dislike about sex? Are you setting boundaries for yourself and your partner?
- How often do you feel like having sex?
- If you're starting a new relationship, when was the last time you checked with a doctor?
2 Try to discuss your sexual desires and fantasies together. You might be embarrassed to start this conversation, but it's quite fun and interesting if you agree not to judge each other. What style of sex do you like? What are you fantasizing about? What would you like to try in sex? What have you tried already? Understand that this is not a formal or serious conversation, but it helps you bond intimately and learn to trust each other. In addition, with the help of intimate topics, it is easier to approach the conversation about oral sex:
- Make a list of five places where you would like to have sex, even if some of them are unusual or just funny.
- You can browse erotic literature or sites like the Kamasutra for a few new positions to try.
- Share your secret fantasies and desires with each other. Do not forget to find out about her desires, and not just tell yours. If you find the time and desire to please each other, this conversation will be much easier and more interesting.
3 If at first you think that oral sex is still a long way off, start slowly approaching the topic. If you really really want oral sex, but you are afraid to rush things, start small.Pay attention to foreplay, which is the best way to turn on your partner and get to know each other better. Start a conversation about an erotic topic. Cover each other's bodies with kisses, you should be comfortable and good together. After all these steps, oral sex will no longer seem so unattainable, but will become a natural continuation.
4 Discuss your intimate life with your partner regularly. If you are in a serious relationship, it’s very foolish to talk about sex once and never bring it up again. Why is it needed? The fact is that even if the conversation is not about oral sex, such conversations on intimate topics are very important in order to create an atmosphere of trust and strengthen relationships. It is also much easier to bring up oral sex if you regularly have frank conversations about various intimate topics.
- Once you are comfortable together, you will want to try something new (like oral sex or something else). Ask her this question.
- If you feel like it’s about sex, don’t shy away. "Do you like having sex with me?" Is a good way to start a conversation.

Method 2 of 4: Talk about how she feels

1 Be direct and open about your desires. When you start talking about sex, don't beat around the bush and hint at oral sex. If you want her to be frank, be frank too. Remember that your intimate life concerns both you and her.
- "I would like to find a way to diversify our intimate life with oral sex."
- "If we're good with each other, why don't we try oral sex?"
- "I love it so much when you come down below, I would like to try oral sex and make it a part of our intimate life."
2 Now give her the floor and listen to her opinion without interrupting or commenting. Even if she doesn't say exactly what you want to hear. Listen carefully to your partner when she talks about her thoughts or concerns. Your girlfriend may talk too long or, conversely, not enough. You may not like what she says. But you have already told her about your desires, even if she refused you, now she knows what you want. She will remember what you want, and if you behave with respect and understanding, she will feel more confident and trust you. Then, perhaps, she will think again about your request, only on her own terms.
- Remember that all you can do is honestly tell her what you want and listen to what she has to say about hers.
3 Remember that intimate life is your common business, in which you cannot be selfish. Comments and suggestions like “I'll do the dishes all week if you give me a blowjob” will not make your relationship trustful and full of love, which is so important for a happy sex life. What happens in bed is your common voluntary affair, not a favor for some work (it doesn't matter which one). If you want her to feel calm and comfortable with you (it’s much easier to find a common language), do not treat sex as a deal. Treat it like a confidential conversation.
4 Think about why your girlfriend (wife) might refuse you oral sex. For many women, oral sex is very intimidating. Some women start to panic from the mere thought that during a blowjob it will be difficult for them to breathe or they will not be able to overcome the gag reflex and will choke. The woman will feel very vulnerable and you must understand this. Some girls are afraid to do something wrong and hurt their partner. Without complete trust, oral sex can cause your girlfriend intense anxiety, discomfort, and fear. Believe me, it will not become easier for you if you focus only on your desires, not paying attention to the problems of your girlfriend (wife).
- Ask your girlfriend why she is embarrassed about oral sex and talking about it, be ready for her answer.Remember that, most likely, you, too, are sometimes embarrassed by some kind of sexual activity.
5 Ask what you can do to make oral sex more enjoyable for her. There are many ways to please each other. She may want you to take better care of yourself or shave altogether, or she may want you to shower together before sex. Maybe she also wants to talk about oral sex, and she also thinks about enjoying oral sex. Whatever her thoughts on the matter, you will never know for sure until you ask.
- Maybe you like to seduce a girl into sex and then move on to something else? Oral sex is a very intimate activity, if you want to diversify your sex life with it, give it enough time and attention.
6 Understand that oral sex is not a one-way street. Men can also please their women with oral sex, so if you want to diversify your sex life, give your girlfriend oral sex. By the way, this is a great way not only to win her over to oral sex, but also to try something new in bed, besides, she does not have to be the initiator.
- Never try to put pressure on a girl with arguments such as: "I did it, now you must please me too." Not only does this sound disrespectful to a girl, moreover, such a phrase will only reduce your chances of making oral sex a part of your intimate life.

Method 3 of 4: Continue

1 Try to make sex a fun, enjoyable process rather than a favor. Ignore movies and videos that portray sex as a coercive, aggressive process. In most cases, especially when we are talking about normal relationships, sex is often awkward, but pleasurable for both. The attitude towards sex should be simple and easy. Even if it seems like this is useless advice, believe me, people are ready to try something new when they stop feeling awkward and shy.
- If you want something in a moment of passion, tell her so! This is the best way to build comfortable, trusting relationships and improve your sex life.
- If something goes wrong, just smile. If something funny or stupid happens (for example, if you fell out of bed or something else), do not be afraid to smile or laugh - it will not ruin anything.
- A happy sex life is a feeling of calmness and pleasure when each of the partners feels comfortable and can laugh and smile with their soul mate.
2 Let her initiate oral sex after your conversation. Don't force her to do what you said. Never demand a blowjob from her, do not be upset, do not ask for it directly and arrogantly, especially if you feel that it is about to happen. You have already said your opinion, she said hers, so now there is no point in putting pressure on her. Once she is ready, she will do what you want herself.
- If you have already discussed the role of oral sex in your intimate life, but several weeks and even months have passed since then, and nothing has changed, you need to return to this conversation, finding the right moment.
3 Try to make oral sex gradually become a part of your sex life, do not focus all your attention on it. It shouldn't be all about oral sex. A good way to get a girl to take oral sex is to turn it into foreplay, and only then move on to the positions in which you usually get the most pleasure. This step will help you move to the next level, she will understand what she likes best and will compromise.
4 Let her control the process herself, choosing the pace and position in which she will be most comfortable. She should feel completely safe. If you hold her by the hair or head during oral sex, she definitely needs to know that you are in control and will not hurt her in a fit of passion. Holding your girlfriend by the hair or supporting her head is a perfectly normal desire, but it should be gentle and calm.
- It's okay if your girlfriend quickly becomes very uncomfortable and wants to stop. Remember that at first you can't rush, especially if your girlfriend doesn't really like oral sex.
5 After sex, ask her what she liked, what she would like to try next time. Of course, this is not debriefing, you do not need to start this conversation after every sex (you will quickly get bored), but you should feel comfortable discussing your sex life. After sex, when you're lying on the bed and hugging, you can ask what she liked. Try to find out what she didn't like very much, conduct the conversation in light tones. You are a couple, most likely, sometimes you discuss dinner, so you should discuss frank topics just as freely.
- If your girlfriend hasn't done oral sex before, tell her what you liked. Silence on your part may be a sign for her that you are unhappy with something, that she has failed to please you. Because of this, the next time she may not want to have oral sex.
6 Remember that oral sex is a very intimate process and it may take a while for a girl to get used to it. If you approach this issue with love, trust, openness and understanding, oral sex will become an enjoyable activity for all of you. Remember that your sex life is an integral part of your relationship, and you can make it more varied if you pay enough attention to it. Keep talking about intimate topics, be honest, love and support each other, and both of you will be happy.
- Remember that you were honest with her, so don't take it personally. If a girl refused you or made it clear that she is not yet ready for oral sex, this does not mean that she does not love you. Trust her, respect her opinion and try to compromise together without making a scandal out of it.
- A different attitude to oral sex is not a reason to break up with someone, but complete incompatibility in sex is a very significant reason. So make sure that each of you is ready to listen to your partner's opinion and make concessions.
7 Understand that your partner may not like or want oral sex. Different people have different views on sex. Remember that despite the fact that you talked to her on this topic and followed all the above tips, this does not mean that after a while she will definitely have oral sex with you. The same applies to you. If she offers you something that you do not really like, you will not want to do it, despite the fact that she asked you well to do so. Therefore, respect her decision. She doesn't have to do oral sex with you just because you want to.

Method 4 of 4: Give her pleasure

1 Oral sex is a mutual activity, find out how she feels about getting pleasure from it too. When you talk about oral sex, don't just focus on your desires. You are a couple, both of you have a responsibility to ensure that each of you enjoys sex. In other words, you need to ask her what she likes when you talk about oral sex.
- "Do you like it when I go down below?"
- "What do you think we can do to make sex even more enjoyable for us?"
- "I would like to try oral sex with you, what do you think?"
2 Let her lead the conversation and listen to her needs and desires first. It's not time to talk about yourself and your desires yet.In oral sex, usually one partner gives pleasure to the other, relaxing and caressing him. But this does not mean that you cannot enjoy the process too (of course you can!). But first of all, you should be concerned with the pleasure of your partner (if you do not need to overpower yourself).
- If a girl feels uncomfortable and refuses oral sex, ask her if there is a reason for this. Very often, girls mistakenly think that the vagina is something "shameful" and "dirty" and do not believe that men like to please them with oral sex. Convince her that she is wrong.
- Is there something she likes? Or some actions that she doesn't like?
3 Be discreet but honest about your desires or concerns and be in control. If you want her to be honest about her feelings, you must be honest with her too. Not all people enjoy oral sex, and that's okay - that's why you need to talk about it. To help her get used to oral sex, you need to be confident and calm. This means that you need to tell each other that you did not like oral sex, which, on the contrary, you would like to do more often.
- What borders are better not to go beyond?
- What else would you like to try?
- How do you feel about oral sex?
4 To make it more comfortable, turn oral sex into foreplay. Pressing on a girl and trying to enjoy oral sex alone is not a good idea, especially if you are just getting started. Therefore, it is better to include oral sex in foreplay, and only then move on to your favorite positions. Each of you will want to experiment more and try new styles of oral sex, if not only one of the partners does all the work.
5 Pay attention to her feelings. Only she can tell you if she is good or not, so listen to her! Reassure her that you will not be offended if she wants to try something different, because experiment is the only way to find out what she likes best. It's also very important to understand her reactions when you do something she likes - this will help you focus on making her enjoy it too.
- Hear her voice, moans, pay attention to body language. Focus not only on yourself, but also on her.
- If you see that she doesn't like talking during sex or discussing her feelings, try it differently: maybe when she likes something, she strokes you on the head or back, and when she doesn't like something, she slaps you lightly on the shoulder.
- If you think she likes something you are doing, go ahead! Pleasing your partner is not a game of chess, just do what she likes!
6 Always ask her opinion before trying to do something, especially if this is your first time doing it. New poses, some experiments and new techniques - all this is an integral part of your intimate life, but it still should not be a shock for the girl. No need to ask her opinion, interrupting all the sexual mood. You can ask something during foreplay or conversations on various frank topics (for example, "I really want to ____. How do you like this idea, baby?") There must be agreement between lovers, and this is not just one frank conversation, besides however, it helps maintain stability in sex. So if you want to diversify your intimate life with oral sex, first talk about it:
- "Would you like to try ________?"
- "Should I continue?"
- "I want _______. Tell me if you don't like it! "
7 After you finish having sex, ask what she liked the most. For example, you might start a discussion with something that you thought was very good, for example: "Did you like it when I _____?" or "Do you want me to do ____ more often?" Do not pressure her if she cannot answer, perhaps she was too carried away by the process to think about what she likes. But these questions are a good way to show that you care about her pleasure.

Tips

Always take good care of yourself and maintain personal hygiene. If you constantly forget about the rules of personal hygiene, your partner will definitely be worried about the issue of cleanliness.
Remember that your girlfriend (wife) is not a porn star.The actresses who act in porn are professionals in this field, but your girlfriend has nothing to do with them. Therefore, you should not expect everything that you see in porn from her.

Warnings

Despite the fact that oral sex is still safer than other types of intercourse, through it you can get infected with sexually transmitted diseases. These diseases (STDs) can be transmitted through body fluids.