Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Eliminating Insecurity With Our Inner Voice of Self-Criticism
• Part 2 of 3: Making Changes to Your Behavior
• Part 3 of 3: Making Psychological Change

Self-doubt is one of the most important problems in interpersonal relationships and, more importantly, in relation to oneself. Feeling insecure, alone or with other people, can lead to constant self-destruction. When we are not confident in ourselves, we cannot manifest and use our full potential, and we also cannot take those small risks that can lead us to new sensations and opportunities. The feeling of confidence induces a profound personality transformation in us. It takes courage and perseverance, which are the most invaluable gifts we receive by trusting ourselves and the world around us.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Eliminating Insecurity With Our Inner Voice of Self-Criticism

1. 1 Try to influence your inner voice of self-criticism. Your self-criticism is that annoying mental voice in your head that takes every opportunity that exists to make you feel even worse, even from the smallest identified failures, failures and imperfections. Take some time to really listen to your inner criticism. Sometimes we so decisively shut ourselves off from our inner negative voices that we cannot hear what they are really telling us.
2. 2 Try to get to know your inner criticism better. Try to listen to this voice in different situations to pay attention to themes and similarities that will emerge in the words of this voice. If you come up with a face, character or a certain voice for him, it will help you to listen more carefully and receive those messages concerning you that your inner criticism sends you.
   • This can be difficult enough for those people who cannot visualize a personality or image that matches your inner voice of criticism. This can be a sign that your voice of self-criticism is not someone you should make amends for in terms of relationships, but the voice of your unmet expectations and values.
3. 3 Befriend your inner voice of criticism. Making friends does not mean that you will literally accept what your inner voice of criticism tells you. A friend is someone who pleasantly stimulates and loves you, despite all the changes that are happening to you. Accept the existence of your inner voice of criticism and readily accept and be stimulated by what it tells you. It may be that your inner voice of criticism expresses an important but unmet need, though it does so in a distorted manner.
   • For example, if your inner voice of criticism tells you that you are worthless, then it may come from your unfulfilled but legitimate need to feel significant and valuable.Changing this unsuitable feeling of worthlessness and striving to satisfy your need to feel significant can come from a simple affirmation of a loved one.
4. 4 When the time comes, tell your inner critic to take a walk. As with all sincere relationships, it is important to recognize when we must heed warnings and objections. Once you have developed enough sense of what your inner voice of criticism seeks to focus on, you can challenge your inner voice and all the negativity it brings into your life.
   • Decision-making in good faith changing your inner voice of criticism decides the outcome of the case. In this way, you are sending a clear signal to the part of your personality that is useless and judgmental.

Part 2 of 3: Making Changes to Your Behavior

1. 1 Keep straight. Improving your posture is one of the best (although it seems indirect) ways to get rid of insecurities. By standing and sitting upright, this is how your body tells your mind that it is capable and ready to act.
   • Likewise, you should pay attention to how you dress. Even if you work from home or in an informal setting, consider replacing your regular wardrobe with one that makes you feel a little more lively throughout the day.
2. 2 Create your own simple, consistent morning ritual. The morning can be the hardest part of the day, especially if you have to go to work. This is the time when we start thinking about all the things that we need to do, which provokes in us fears and uncertainty that we will not be able to do it during the day. By developing a reliable morning ritual, we can calm these emerging thoughts of insecurity by relying on confidence, such as brewed fresh coffee, after you get out of the shower.
3. 3 Shift your focus from criticism to compliments. Have you ever noticed that you pay attention to some piece of criticism, ignoring all the praise that surrounds that criticism? We live in a society where all problems need to be solved quickly, therefore it is the problems, and not the positive moments, that have the greatest power for us. Fortunately, it is you focus on assessment, achievement, and the like.
   • For example, if your boss tells you something like, "You are doing a great job at the moment, but I would like your folders to be classified differently," then you can answer these words (1) grateful for the recognition, (2) commenting that you like your work, (3) "and then" respond to his request for changes to the current assignment. By giving more weight to the compliments you hear about yourself, you will see how others can bring a positive moment to your growing sense of self-confidence.
     • Notice the difference in the weight of praise and challenge versus a standard response that would include an apology and a promise to make the required changes.
4. 4 Improve your competence in selected areas. Is there a skill or ability that you have always admired in others? Take the time to learn something that you have always found valuable. Fast reading? Playing the piano? Competence building will help you feel more confident as it enhances your natural talents and fosters specific skills that you must share with the rest of the world.
   • Remember to focus only on the things that really matter to you. You may know that you find a particular skill or ability significant because you strive to put others with those skills on a pedestal. The idea is to build confidence, knowing that this skill really is is an valuable.Otherwise, your lack of confidence in the correctness of the choice, and the thought “should I learn this?”, Will interfere with your belief in the success that you strive to achieve by learning something.
5. 5 Organize your workplace. By placing your work supplies in more accessible places, you can eliminate small moments of uncertainty that you do not have something very necessary at your fingertips. These little moments can take shape and haunt your serious decisions and views. At the same time, your desktop is what you should always controlknowing, for example, that the staples are in the top left stapler drawer, giving you a sense of your pace and making your daily activities easier.
   • This, like other triumphs of daily business management (resetting counters, staying updated on all the news, and so on), maybe and should count as your little victories. To be aware of all your small victories, make a list of all the things that you do, taking it for granted. Go ahead and praise yourself for all the little wins on your list, rewarding yourself as you see fit!
6. 6 Choose your surroundings wisely. Surrounding the people you feel comfortable with can be enough to get creative and explore yourself, your insecurities, and everything else. It is important to defend your position in society, as you are responsible for your sense of confidence. This often means being assertive about your needs and even keeping your distance from those who do not support you or sympathize with you.
   • Answer honestly the questions to yourself: “Who in my environment makes me feel constricted? Who makes me feel that my contribution is trifling? " You may be surprised (and shocked) to realize that the people you love very much tend to be self-deprecating and suppressing your real feelings. Such fear is quite common when we are afraid of not being accepted because of our strong feelings and needs, although everyone has them!
7. 7 Make requests and suggestions. Feeling more confident in yourself means that you must learn to believe that you will be heard and not ignored. If you formulate your requests and proposals correctly, then other people can feel the uniqueness of your cooperation and understanding, without feeling that you require something.
   • Let's say you are discussing with your significant other what to buy for dinner and you feel too tired to force yourself to go shopping. Instead of complaining that your partner doesn't run as much on errands as you do, or argue about who carries the “burden” of all things, try to express your tiredness. You can express your feelings openly, with a sincere, non-threatening request that it is not your turn to take on responsibilities today.
     • Remember that you do not need to blame your partner or make him feel guilty, as this will only provoke the person's defense mechanism and cause resistance. People do not react positively if they realize that they are being manipulated to do something, as opposed to the situation when they themselves do it of their own free will.
8. 8 Learn consciously flexible behavior in society. People who want to feel more confident often have a strong desire to please others, which often leads to self-sacrifice and a weakened sense of self-confidence. But that same impulse to comply with another person's request can cause you to conduct a conscious experiment outside of your personal comfort zone. Experimenting in different social settings will show that you are capable of more than you think. It will also provide you with an impressive experience of true self-confidence - in your life.
   • This may sound surprising ... How can you keep trying to please others so you can feel more confident? The difference is only in your own mind. For example, if your friend asks you to go to a new club that you think is fearsome, then you may agree to go because you feel insecure about your status in the eyes of your friend. However, you can easily see that it serves as an impulse for you to be flexible in your behavior and as a reminder that you are capable of venturing into uncharted territory. Knowing when you are trying to please others and when you are taking advantage of the opportunity to experience something new will stimulate your sense of confidence in your actions.

Part 3 of 3: Making Psychological Change

1. 1 Remind yourself that no one sees your insecurities. When you are in society, do you get the feeling that everyone can somehow see how you are fixated on your anxious thoughts and worries? Fortunately, no one but yourself has access to your thoughts. You can breathe more calmly, knowing that you are your own harsh judge, and chances are good that others around you are also concerned about making a good impression.
   • This idea coincides with the fact that you yourself are responsible for creating for yourself of your own criteria when a critical moment comes. Being right or wrong according to someone else's standards can never closely match how you feel, depending on your own point of view.
2. 2 Imagine a moment of extreme confidence. Try to remember as many vivid details as possible of the moment when intense passion and personal motivation gave way to a feeling of unshakable confidence. This visualization can kick-start your ability to mentally see both your strengths and the opportunities in the world that can contribute to them.
   • In addition to visualizing your confidence, you can also visualize an image. By imagining an image that will both support and challenge you, it will be easier for you to imagine and mentally enter a global self-interest mode.
3. 3 Maintain a comfortable distance from your emotions. When you are truly consciously focusing on the problems and setbacks in your life, it is important to stay away from your emotions in order to protect yourself from being completely absorbed in these thoughts. Failure to take a detached perspective on issues that can trigger justified feelings of insecurity can lead to intense feelings of self-doubt that will steal away the time you spend thinking about something else.
   • Be aware that moving away from emotions can be a powerful tool that gives you a broader view of yourself and your situation. only when you have already researched questions about your emotions... This is most beneficial when you need to get a complete overview of views, emotions and at the same time stay away from them. So moving away from emotion works best for those who seek to respond emotionally in the first place.
4. 4 Train yourself to see the positive side of failure and insecurity. For one person something is rubbish, for another it is a treasure. Instead of trying to deny or change your flaws, make an effort to find out what they can reveal to you.
   • Keep in mind that these are not always obvious and may require creative guesses to identify them. For example, if you were not able to get the job you wanted, focus on the fact that you now have the opportunity to find something more suitable. If you are preoccupied with the idea of ​​how weird you look when you jog, then think about the fact that someone might consider your gait to be the most attractive feature in you.