Author:
John Stephens
Date Of Creation:
23 January 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
Sometimes life knocks you down, making you feel frustrated about yourself. No matter what problems you face in your life, it's important to continue loving yourself. You can learn to love yourself by using tactics to develop compassion for yourself, forget about things that bother you, and develop genuine love and appreciation for yourself.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Forming Compassion
Imagine how you would react to a friend in a situation like yours. Start practicing self-compassion by thinking about how you would react to your friend in similar situations. Imagine the words and gestures you used to comfort the person you're having problems with and write them down on paper. You can answer some questions as follows:
- What would you say to someone you have a problem with? How will you treat them?
- How are you going to treat yourself? How is it different from treating a friend?
- How will that friend react if you treat them like yourself?
- How would you feel if you were to treat yourself like your friends?
Create a script of self-compassion. In difficult situations it will help you stop criticizing yourself. In addition, it also helps you to understand how you feel and be kind to yourself in that situation.- For example, you could say, “I am facing a really tough time, but everyone is going through it. This feeling is only temporary. ”
- You can replace the above script with your own words or read it whenever you intend to criticize yourself.
Write a kind letter to yourself. Another way to feel better with yourself is to write a letter to yourself. Write a letter from the perspective of someone you love you unconditionally. You can imagine someone as realistic or unrealistic.- Try opening the letter like, “Dear (Your Name), I have heard about (your situation) and I am very sorry. I want you to understand that I care about you… ”. You can keep writing your thoughts later. Remember to maintain a kind, understanding tone throughout the letter.
Give yourself comforting gestures. Comforting gestures can help you feel better when you're in a bad mood.That is why friends and family members can hug you and rub your back when you have to endure something. Even when you are alone, you can still give yourself patting gestures such as hugging, clapping, or placing your hands on your body.- Try putting your arms behind your back and hugging yourself.
Practice meditation. Long-term, self-critical thoughts often come along and are difficult to change. Meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts, so you can spot your negative thoughts and deal with them instead of letting them control you.- When learning meditation, it takes time and effort to practice, so it's best to join a meditation class or find someone who can teach you.
- You can try the following guide to compassion meditation: http://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-meditations
Method 2 of 3: Get rid of self hatred
Understand that personal opinion is not the same as reality. Feeling about yourself is not necessarily true. Don't completely trust what you say to yourself.- To change negative habits of thinking, try using cognitive behavioral therapy "3 C": catch, check, change (change). Capture a moment when you have a negative thought, check the accuracy of that thought, and then change your mind for a positive one.
Avoid meeting negative people. People who make you feel bad about yourself will make it harder for you to find love for yourself. If you find yourself with such people, now is the time to keep your distance.- It can be a bit difficult to completely disappear or withdraw from the group. Let's start slowly. If you want to distance yourself from your friends, for example, try to communicate with them less. Then gradually stop meeting or talking to them, then block them on social media.
- Breaking up with someone who has a negative influence on you is a more complicated thing. However, if you can handle this your life will be much better.
Stay away from negative situations. Negative situations can lead to negative behavior and self-hatred. Avoiding these situations will remove triggers and help you focus on improving yourself.
Don't dwell on things you cannot change. For example, you cannot control the weather. So why let that upset you? For yourself, too, there are many things you cannot control (such as past decisions). So focus on what you can change.
Don't think you're not good enough. It is quite common to feel bad about yourself. You must understand that you cannot be perfect in every aspect of your life. No one is perfect. You must be aware of this in order to love yourself and your accomplishments. advertisement
Method 3 of 3: Developing a Love for Yourself
Focus on changing what you can. While there are things you can't change, there's still a lot you can control! If you don't like the way you look, think about how you want to change yourself. Consider the following suggestions:
- Can I achieve a healthy weight?
- Can I dye my hair?
- Can I wear lens / change eye color?
- Can I change my dress style?
- Can I take a skill development class?
Make a list. Start by writing down what you like about yourself. This strategy will help you stay focused. Consider listing both your physical and psychological traits. Start with small traits to help motivate yourself. You could write the following:
- I like my eye color.
- I love my smile.
- I like what I'm doing.
- I like the enthusiasm at work.
Acknowledge. Similarly, you can write down a list of things for which you are grateful. This list differs from the one above and focuses heavily on the things that make you appreciate the world around you. You could write the following:
- I am grateful for having a dear family.
- I am grateful to have a dog.
- I am grateful to live in the house / apartment.
- I'm grateful today that the weather is so beautiful.
Talk to someone you love. If you don't know what to write, try talking to people you love. They may offer strange perspectives. You might ask:
- "Mom, what's your best point?"
- "Dad, what are you grateful for?" (It might give you some ideas.)
- "Do you think I'm good at work?"
Practice affirmation every day. Daily affirmations are scientifically proven to improve the way of thinking about yourself. In addition, they also improve mood and reduce stress. For daily affirmative exercise, you can follow these steps:
- Stand in front of the mirror every morning when you wake up.
- Make eye contact and repeat the spell. This affirmation is designed to help you increase your optimism. You can say, "Today I will agree to more things."
- Repeat 3 to 5 times to confirm the idea.
- You can change your affirmation every day, or focus on the specific thing that you want to change.
Do exercise. Practice brings a lot of benefits both physically and mentally. "Exercise effect" is a scientific phenomenon when you feel more satisfied with yourself after exercising.
- At the same time, doing a sport you enjoy also adds to the fun. For example, walking in a park gives you more time to think, burn calories, and even enjoy a beautiful view!
Healthy eating. Similar to exercise, healthy eating can also have mental benefits.
- Try to eat plenty of protein (fish, meat, beans) and eat less simple carbohydrates (white bread, sugar, sweets, etc.).
Get enough sleep. Sleep helps your body and mind feel better. Scientists believe that people of different ages will have different sleep times.
- Children: 9-11 hours per night.
- Teenagers: 8-10 hours per night.
- Youth: 7-9 hours per night.
- Adults: 7-9 hours per night.
- Elderly: 6-8 hours per night.
Warning
- If you have suicidal thoughts or feel sad all the time, consult your doctor. They will help you overcome these feelings or refer someone who can help you with treatment.
