Content

• Steps
• Warning

Have you ever resented someone because they hurt you deeply? Do you hate someone because they are better than you? Resentment is a psychological process of clinging to a painful or frustrating event that makes you angry or bitter.Resentment can cause you to lose yourself and poison your soul so that you cannot trust others, love others, or accept love in the future. Overcoming feelings of resentment means that you choose to accept what happened and forgive others, and change yourself so that those feelings do not negatively affect you.

Steps

Part 1 of 2: Acknowledge your emotions

1. 

   Understand the source and cause of your resentment. Identify exactly how you are truly feeling and why you feel it. Please try to understand yourself. When did you feel resentment? Has something bothered you? Does resentment relate to your spouse, parent, or family?
   • Identifying the cause of your resentment will help you navigate the way you can overcome it. For example, if being angry because someone close to you disappoints or looks down on you, you can respond by changing what you expect from someone else. Of course you can't change others, so change yourself or learn to accept what happened.

2. 

   
   
   Identify your role that leads to resentment. Sometimes, we hate others because we are disappointed when we are vulnerable. In our hearts we feel confused or confused because we were unable to predict the situation. We feel angry because we let our guard down and trust the person who hurt us. With that in mind, we get angry with ourselves.
   • There is a quote like this, "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the medicine to kill you." You have the right to choose to look to the future or to continue suffering. Recognize your strength and do not blame others.

3. 

   
   
   Determine whether you feel jealous or have a good reason. Lust or longing for what others have, whether frivolous or necessary, will lead to feelings of envy. If you resent someone because they have something you dream of, it is not helpful to hate that person. Understand that your feelings are due to the lack of something, which will help you overcome your feelings of jealousy.
   • An example of the jealousy that leads to resentment is that you stinging when a colleague gets a promotion while you covet the position. Perhaps you feel you deserve a promotion because you have more seniority.
   • Overcome envy by being honest with yourself and taking action. Did the person really make you angry or is it your problem? If you feel your competencies deserve consideration, you can proactively discuss other vacancies with your supervisor. Or, if you think you're better than your boss, maybe you should find a suitable position at another company.
   • You are not jealous of the person, you are envious of their personality or abilities. Sit down and straightforwardly assess your feelings and redirect your jealousy for better self-improvement.

4. 

   
   
   Be honest with your feelings. Anger and resentment are powerful emotions. Sometimes, we hurt ourselves more by pretending to ignore or try to deny our emotions. Resentment arises because we perceive things based on our feelings, so we begin to hate or envy the person we believe offended us. Admit to your feelings will help you heal your emotional pain.
   • Anger often overshadows other difficult to understand or express emotions. People show anger because it is easier to show others that you are angry than it is to show feelings of rejection, disappointment, envy, confusion, or hurt.
   • Give yourself a few minutes to think about what happened to you, and feel all of the emotions involved. Get angry if you are upset. Admit the pain or shame. Don't try to get rid of these feelings. You should really acknowledge your feelings so you can move on.

5. 

   Talk to a trusted friend or someone. Find someone to talk to and tell them what happened that makes you bored. Talking to others can help you to see the situation more objectively. Perhaps others will recognize the habits in your behavior that led to things, and they will help you find solutions. It's always helpful to be able to chat with someone.

6. 

   Write down what others have done to upset you. Take note of as many details as you remember and do not ignore anything. When you're done, write down the traits of the person you resent. Don't call them offensive names. Are they too selfish, rude, cruel, and rude? Think about what they did and evaluate that rude.
   • Next, write down what the person's behavior is causing you to upset, taking notes not for the purpose of making you angry, but to dig deeper into the cause of the resentment.
   • Finally, write down the behavior and how your emotions have affected your life. For example, if your partner betrays, you will feel angry, sad, and embarrassed. Your spouse's betrayal has made it difficult to trust or connect with others for fear that they will hurt you too.

7. 

   Tell the hurting you how much they disappoint you. In some cases, when a loved one hurts us, we want to understand them. Even knowing why someone is hurt you won't make it go away - even if the person doesn't know why they acted - but having a candid conversation about what happened is a step toward. heal heart wounds.
   • Ask the person to meet you to chat. Use sentence patterns that begin with "I" as "I'm heartbroken because ____," to express your feelings. Then, in a non-critical position, ask if the person can explain the situation from their point of view.
   • Confronting the person only after you have had an objective view of the matter means that you have understood your role and your emotions.
   • If you want to stay in a relationship with the person, tell them you want to get a specific apology or request compensation. For example, if your partner has made a mistake and you decide to be with him or her, set limits and rules about what you want them to act on in the future.
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Part 2 of 2: Releasing feelings of resentment

1. 

   Stop thinking. Ruminating means chewing on the problem over and over, making you forget the moment and have negative emotions. Thinking is the foundation of resentment. So, to let go of brooding, you first need to learn how to manage your thoughts. Here are three ways to quit brooding:
   • Focus on the solution instead of the problem. This is an effective and forward-looking way to deal with resentment. Clinging to what happened is not going to help you. Having a plan to learn from the incident will help you grow. Write down a few ways to solve the problem, such as improving your stress management skills or reassessing what you expect from others.
   • Consider analyzing your situation carefully. At times, we hold resentment based on false assumptions. Others don't even know they've done it wrong, or if they do, they probably never intended to hurt you. See things realistically. Do you want others to read your mind?
   • Focus on the strengths. If you've been hurt by others, you may spend a lot of time focusing on your flaws. Identify your strengths in relation to the incident. For example, if a friend disappoints you, the good side is that you probably still have other good friends. Perhaps you have the advantage of being ready to forgive someone for their mistakes.

2. 

   Write down the good qualities of the people who hurt you. Acknowledging the other person's positive side will help you move on and see the situation more objectively. People make mistakes and not everyone is bad.Everyone has good sides to cherish; So look at the person's good side.

3. 

   Forgive. Heart wounds caused by people we love have a lasting effect. However, resentment towards someone keeps you from healing and making progress. Choose to forgive the person who hurts you. Forgiveness doesn't mean you stay in the relationship with them. It also doesn't mean you have to forget what happened. Forgiveness means you choose not to be angry with the person anymore and you will release negative emotions. Forgiveness helps friend Become a better person.
   • Forgiveness comes in many forms, but it ultimately means that you release feelings of resentment. After you've dealt with your feelings about the incident, make it clear that you no longer have resentment. Say, "I forgive you". Talk to the person directly if you want to remain in a relationship with them.
   • After you report what happened, tear the piece of paper into pieces or burn it. Get rid of the person's impact on you by choosing to forgive them and look to the future.
   • Practice loving yourself. Besides forgiving the person, you also need to be generous with yourself. Be kind to yourself in the same way that you tolerate others. You deserve to be loved.
   • Say you forgive yourself and practice loving yourself. You can stand in front of a mirror and say, "I love you", "I'm just human, too", "I'm getting better", or "I'm good enough".

4. 

   Seek spiritual understanding. If you are a believer in the good things, try to find out the meaning of the events you have experienced. Did it happen so that you could acknowledge other good things? Is your predicament a source of inspiration or inspiration? Furthermore, depending on your beliefs, hate for others can have a negative impact on your mental health. Pray, meditate, or talk to a counselor to relieve resentment.

5. 

   Meet an expert. If you have a hard time forgiving and you are leaving feeling resentful towards the future, you may need to seek help from a mental health professional. Clinging to hatred and aversion can affect your mental, physical, and emotional health. You may ask for anger management therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy to help you quit thinking. advertisement

Warning

• Never plan revenge or want to harm someone because you are hurt. Remember that evil cannot overpower another, but only good can overpower. Don't hold back hurt and hurt.