Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Do you often feel awkward about speaking in public? If so, you are not alone. Many people around the world are suffering from mild to severe shyness and are having difficulty coping with it as well. Remember that you cannot get out of your shell overnight.Everything takes time, effort, and of course a desire to change oneself. By checking out this article, you're on the right track to get rid of shyness - keep learning for now.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Understanding the Nature of Shyness

1. 

   Think about the source of your shyness. Shyness doesn't have to be caused by an introvert or self-love. It simply means that for some reason, you feel awkward when all the attention is on you. What is the source of your shyness? It could be just a symptom of bigger problems. Here are three possibilities:
   • Your self-awareness is quite poor. This happens when we listen to the negative voice in our mind when judging ourselves. It was difficult to stop listening to this voice, however, it was the voice in the end your and you can instruct it what to say.
   • You have a hard time believing in praise that others give you. Whether you feel beautiful or not, other people can still be aware of this, and that's why they praise you. You don't want to call them a liar, do you? Lift your chin up, say "thank you", and accept the compliment. Don't try to tell the person giving you compliments that they're wrong.
   • You pay too much attention to the way you act. This happens when we pay too much attention to ourselves. Because we spend all day trying to fine-tune our actions to make sure we don't screw things up, we also assume that others are acting the same way. We'll discuss ways to turn our attention to others if this sounds more suitable for you.
   • Everyone else knows you as a timid. Sometimes, when we are young, we are usually quite shy. Unfortunately, everyone relies on this image to treat us the same way we were when we were children, even though our personalities have changed completely. Maybe it's because people put you on this list and you're just trying to adapt to their thinking. You just have to adjust to yourself.
     • Whatever your reason, you can get over it. They exist only in your thoughts and thinking is something you have complete control over! Right!

2. 

   
   
   Accept your shyness. One of the first steps to overcoming your shyness is to try to accept it and try to become more comfortable with it. The more you resist it, whether intentionally or unintentionally, it will not cease to prevail. If you are a shy person, accept this personality and appreciate it. One way you can do it is to constantly tell yourself 'Yes, I'm a shy person and I accept my nature'.

3. 

   
   
   Identify your shyness. Do you often become shy in front of new audiences? When learning a new skill? When faced with a new situation? Surround yourself with people you know and admire? When you don't know someone at a certain time? Try to identify your fleeting thoughts before allowing your shyness to take over you completely.
   • Not all situations make you shy. You feel pretty good with family, don't you? What is the difference between your family and the stranger? They really aren't that different - you simply know them better and neither do they. This problem does not arise from you, but from the situation you are facing. This shows that your shyness is not an all-encompassing problem, nor is it an all-time problem. Too good.

4. 

   
   
   Make a list of the situations that make you feel anxious. Arrange them in such order that the least worrisome is in the first place and that the most worrying agent is last. When you put things in a specific order, you turn them into tasks that you can successfully tackle and solve.
   • Make the list as detailed as possible. "Public speaking" can be a shy stimulus, but you can talk more about them. Talking to people who have more power than you? Talk to people that you find attractive? The more details you have, the easier it is to identify the situation and deal with them.

5. 

   Complete the entire list. Once you have made a list of 10-15 stressful situations, start working on them one by one (after you've finished reading this article, of course). Easy-to-handle situations at the top of the list can help build your confidence so you can move on to tackling more difficult situations.
   • Don't worry if you have to step back from time to time; You may be able to slowly solve the problem, but remember to make an effort to push yourself.
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Part 2 of 4: Mind Conquering

1. 

   Use shyness like Suggestions. Anything that can affect your shyness is because you see it as a shyness stimulus. Similar to computer programming, when a program '' suffers a few error Certainly, it will react in the same way that we have programmed it to deal with errors. Our minds are similarly programmed. We are programmed from childhood to cope with certain dangers such as staying away from strangers, high altitudes, dangerous animals, and more. However, for the particular agent, our response returns to the default state, meaning we perceive them and react to them the way we normally react (by default) and This response may still be flawed. For example, when we see one the lizardSome of us will see it as an ugly reptile, while others think it is a beautiful pet, the reason is because they are influenced by the natural reactions of they (in default state) before the stimulus (lizard). Similarly, when a shy person meets another person (stimulus), their natural response will be shy. The truth is you can change the way you react by reprogramming your mind. You can do this by ...
   • Ask yourself questions and check the appropriateness of your reasons.
   • You need to practice your public speaking skills to overcome your shyness. Try to see your shyness as a Cue so that you can push yourself to do the opposite of what you would normally do when you feel shy. When crowds feel awkward, you may want to go somewhere quiet because this is your default response for a long time but now, whenever you feel shy. push yourself to do the opposite, like talking to people. Of course you will feel completely uncomfortable and negative, but see these feelings as factors so that you can push yourself to try harder. The greater the negative emotions, the more motivating you can be. After you do this technique many times, you will find that these negative emotions are actually your best friend because they motivate you to try. more.

2. 

   Pay attention to other people. 99% of us often become shy when we think that if we speak up or stand out in public, we will embarrass ourselves. This is exactly why you need to turn your attention to other people, to get our attention (in our mind) to focus somewhere else.When we stop paying attention to ourselves, we stop worrying about how we act.
   • The easiest way to do this is to focus on compassion. When we touch compassion, empathy, or even empathy for others, we stop focusing on ourselves and begin to direct all our spiritual resources to try to get to know others. Keeping in mind that everyone has to fight a certain fight - big or small (they're pretty big to them!) - helps us remember that everyone is worth our attention.
   • If this method didn't work, think in the direction you are visualization that others think the same way. If you are worried about your appearance, you will assume that others are also paying attention to your appearance (hint: they are actually not at all). Stereotyped thinking is contagious; Once you start you won't be able to stop.

3. 

   Visualize the success. Close your eyes and visualize situations that embarrass you. Now, in mind, think about becoming confident. You should do this method regularly and do it in a variety of situations. This is a pretty effective method if you practice every day, especially in the morning. It sounds silly, but athletes often use this method to develop their skills, so why can't you do it?
   • Gather all of your senses to visualize things as real as possible. Think about being happy and comfortable. How do you feel? What are you doing? That way, when the time comes, you'll always be ready.

4. 

   Practice good posture. Standing upright makes the world think you are confident and approachable. Usually, our emotions are the deciding factor in how others treat us - so if we are open and approachable, our bodies will also emulate that feeling. Body Your will help you to overcome difficulties!
   • This method also helps to deceive brain your. Scientific research has shown that good posture (head held high, pushing shoulders back, and arms spread wide) makes us feel empowered, confident, and - most of all - relieves tension. straight. And you don't even need other reasons!

5. 

   Practice talking to yourself. This method will help you avoid the embarrassment of needing to repeat what you said just because you were stuttering or talking too softly. You need to learn to get used to listening to your own voice! Even loved it.
   • Record your voice as you chat with yourself. It sounds silly, but it will be easy to see the pattern, when and why you stopped speaking, the moment when you thought you were talking loudly but you were actually speaking quite quietly, etc. At first, you will feel like an actor (and do the things an actor needs to do to play the role), but gradually it will become your habit. You know, practice helps you form a habit!

6. 

   Don't compare yourself to others. The more you compare yourself to others, the more you will feel that you cannot be equal to them and be threatened, and this will make you more shy. Comparing yourself to others won't do you any good - but if you really want to compare yourself, do it more realistically. Others have problems with self-confidence just like you!
   • Seriously, if your relatives or friends are pretty confident and extroverted, consult their opinion on this article. They might say things like, "Yeah, yeah, I've completely formed a sense of myself to become more open" or "I used to be pretty bad too. I really did. must try a lot to change it ". You are just in another stage of transformation compared to them.

7. 

   Think about how awesome you are. Anyone has a talent or a unique trait that can help the world. It sounds a bit cheesy, but it's true. Think about what you know, what you can do, and what you have done instead of dazzlingly paying attention to how you look, talk, or dress. Remember that anyone, even "pretty" people, have things that make them unhappy with themselves or with their life. There's no specific reason why your "problem" makes you shy, while their "problem" doesn't make them shy.
   • As you focus on this, you will realize that you can be of great help to any group of people or situations. Your understanding and skills are essential to improving any problem, conversation, or situation. Knowing this will help you want to have your voice.

8. 

   Determine your values ​​and social strength. Just because you're not the one who stands out in the room, or the one with the strongest voices, or the one who can start a party doesn't mean you lack social power. Are you a good listener? Are you able to pay attention to detail? Maybe it's a quality you were unaware you possessed, so relax for a bit. Are you more observant than others? May.
   • Your strength can give you your advantage. If you are a good listener, you will be able to easily tell when someone is having a problem and needs to express their feelings. In this situation, surname are those who need it friend. This situation does not contain any threat factor. So ask them! You will find that they are angry to "smoke" - can you listen to what they talk about?
   • In social groups all roles need to be played. Even if you don't realize it, you have a role to play in the group. No position is better than any other - self-worth awareness, whatever it may be, will help motivate the group.

9. 

   Don't "label" yourself. Know that celebrities are often unhappy. An extrovert doesn't have to be famous or happy, and the shy person doesn't have to be introverted, unhappy, or cold or aloof. You don't want others to think of you in a certain way, so don't label others either.
   • Day in and day out, famous students in the school are doing their best to maintain their popularity. They are trying to adapt and become relevant and successful. Good for them, but that doesn't mean they'll feel happy or that their popularity will last forever. Trying to scramble for ephemeral stuff won't get you far. Don't brag about your accomplishments - high school will end, college age will end, and what will you get in the end? Some compliments and a funny crown.
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Part 3 of 4: Conquering Social Situations

1. 

   Ready. If you plan to go to a party next week, prepare some good topics to talk about in advance. State continues to stagnate? The final round of a famous TV show? An international event? Learn more about them. This way, you will be able to join any conversation when a topic comes up.
   • Not that you are trying to impress people with your comprehensive and insightful understanding. You are just participating in the story. People don't seek judgment or opinion from you, so keep things light and friendly.A simple statement like "God, I wouldn't want to wear Boehner shoes" could stop the conversation from going to a dead end.

2. 

   Think about the conversation in phases. Social interaction can be simplified to a certain extent. When you focus your attention on the basic steps and absorb them subjectively, you will be more likely to automatically engage in every story, and this will put you less stress. Think of every conversation in four phases:
   • The first stage is the one that begins with simple statements. Usually appropriate social stories.
   • The second stage is the introduction. Introduce myself.
   • The third stage is to find similarities, a few topics that you can both discuss.
   • The fourth stage is over, one person will tell the other party that he or she will have to end the conversation, and then sum things up, or maybe exchange information. "It's nice to talk to you - I never thought of Walt that way. Here's my business card - we'll see you soon!"

3. 

   Start story. Do you remember the project you completed? The mountain you conquered? The disease you overcame? If you can talk about these, you should be able to chat easily. A random comment about something you both share can help get you started - "The bus is always late" or "They're probably about to finish making coffee!" or "Did you see the tie Mr. Hai is wearing today? My God. Your conversation will start from these things.
   • Add details to basic statements. If someone asks for your home address, it will be easy for you to respond in a way that stops the conversation in awe, feeling like you've failed completely. Instead of answering "On Nguyen Thai Hoc", say "On Nguyen Thai Hoc Street, next to a delicious bakery". This way, the other person can discuss the issue more, helping keep the story going. Instead of saying "Ah, I see", they will say, "Oh my God, did you try their chocolate croissant ?!"

4. 

   Starting up. If you are attending a party, you can constantly use these similar conversation. Join a conversation with one or two people at the same time and practice making humorous and tedious comments until you understand them and feel quite tired of them. Then, go back to chatting with people you really like. At this point, you will be able to focus on the real story.
   • Get started quickly, each conversation should last only a few minutes, This way you won't stress yourself and it may help you feel less anxious - when you know that the conversation it will end in 2 minutes, everything will not be scary. Then you can spend time and energy with the people you love. Really this is the best time for your efforts!

5. 

   Be easygoing and friendly. Use body language to convey your friendly and open attitude. Make sure you don't cross your arms over your chest, keep your head up, and don't be busy doing something. No one likes to chat with you when you're busy with Candy Crush. They are just trying to be polite to you!
   • Think about the people you want to reach. What do their bodies and facial expressions say? Now, think about the people you don't want to reach. What is your sitting style - what position are you in?

6. 

   Smile and make eye contact. Smiling at strangers can make your day as well as theirs! A smile is a friendly way of expressing gratitude to others, and it can be a great way for you to initiate a conversation with anyone, whether they are strangers or friends. You are showing them that you are completely harmless, friendly, and want to join them.
   • Humans are social animals. Those detained in solitary confinement will prove this. Any of us seek interaction and self-affirmation. You are not trying to deceive them - you are just trying to make their day alive and well.

7. 

   Think about your body. When you join a group of people (even if there is only one), you can become shy. In the first moments, this is completely normal. If you feel anxious, ask yourself the following:
   • Am I breathing? If you can breathe slowly, your body will fall into a state of relaxation.
   • Am I relaxing or not? If not, move your body into a position you can feel more comfortable with.
   • Am I open-minded or not? You may be using cognitive cues according to your own mindset. Being open can change other people's views of your role in the team.
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Part 4 of 4: Challenging Yourself

1. 

   Set goals for yourself. You can't just think "I'll be bolder and not shy anymore!". This isn't a tangible goal - it's the same thing as saying, "I want to be a great person." You will perform how is it? Make sure you set a goal that involves a specific action, such as talking to a stranger or talking to a cute guy or girl you know. (We will discuss these actions in the next section.)
   • Focus on daily small achievements, then gradually get more audacious. Even the act of asking strangers time was seen as a difficult task. Don't think these little opportunities won't be worth the effort - they're pretty big! From these little things, you will be able to easily talk in public later, so slow down!

2. 

   Find things that make you comfortable. To be honest, performing a dance or drinking all night is not going to be the right action for you - they have nothing to do with shyness. If you'd rather go cutting your grandmother's toenails than doing these things, you're on the right track. Don't try to conquer your shyness in an environment where you obviously can't stand it. It won't work for you.
   • You do not need to perform the same actions as other people. And if you do, you won't be able to stick with it and you won't be able to find people you love and have the same personality as you. Why would you want to waste your time ?! If pub is not the right place for you, don't worry. Practice your social skills at a coffee shop, at a small get-together, or at work. These locations will be more suitable for your life.

3. 

   Put yourself in uncomfortable situations. Remember we don't want you to put yourself in a situation where you have to hide in the corner and pinch yourself to get rid of the pain you're experiencing, but you need to put yourself in the environment where you are. take a step or two out of your comfort zone. If not, how can you grow?
   • Starting at first place in the list, remember? It could be chatting with a salesgirl, chatting with someone at the bus stop house, or chatting with the guy next to you at work. Most people are not good at talking (do you know why? Because they are like you), but the chance you can start a conversation is still there.

4. 

   Introduce yourself to a new person every day. Chatting with strangers is usually easier, at least faster.Either way, you probably won't see them again, so you don't have to care what they think of you, right? The guy is going to the bus stop. Make eye contact and smile at him. It only takes 3 seconds to do this!
   • The more you practice, the more you will find that people are quite easy-going and friendly. From time to time you will meet rather strange people who are suspicious and wonder why you are smiling at them - treat them as interesting people for you to tease a bit. Plus, smiling will make others wonder why you were smiling - it's now you who are playing with their mind instead of the opposite!

5. 

   Be more bold. Talk to someone you wouldn't normally think you would talk to. Find people who share your interests or interests and make a plan to talk to them. At some point, you will realize that you are part of a group of people. Use the simplest of sentences for conversation (or with the help of someone else). Please join them. This is the only way you can develop yourself.
   • With time, you will gradually be able to do this more easily. Do you remember how difficult it was when you first learned to drive or ride a bike? Similar to the interaction with the society; you just haven't practiced enough. After a while, you will find that you have "gone through everything". Nothing can stop you. Too great.

6. 

   Save your success and keep practicing. In the notebook where you wrote your list of social actors, write about your success. Seeing that your improvement is what motivates you to keep going. Within a few weeks, you will be completely amazed at how much control you have over your problems, and you will know that everything is possible. Great.
   • There is no specific time for you to complete this process. For many people, the problem is not resolved until they become suddenly aware of it all. For many others, this is a six-month process. No matter how long it is, remember to always believe in yourself. You will soon be successful.
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Advice

• Remember that shyness is an emotional state Not is a fixed personality. You have the ability to change your shy feelings through your desires and actions.
• "Pretend until you do it" - is a pretty good adage. Pretend to be confident, and after a while you will realize that you really do become confident. However, keep in mind that forcing yourself to overdo it in situations where you're not comfortable will only strengthen your problem. Shyness and social anxiety are traits you learn through your attitude and you need to put yourself in more comfortable situations.
• Fear and excitement share the same chemistry, andrenaline. If you focus on the positive aspects of the event, speech, activity, etc. and think of your stress as the one you expect, you will be able to turn fear into fear. enthusiasm helps you enjoy your bold character. Many bold, persuasive people share the same level of stress as you are in the first moments when they are faced with social situations but then interpret them as excitement and share it with everyone around. Stage fright can turn into a great performance if you can change the way you think about your feelings.
• Say "yes" often. At first, this can be quite challenging. Start small, like saying hello to a classmate or something similar; The point here is that once you accept to do things that you don't normally do, you can have some pretty amazing moments. Also, you will feel better about yourself because you have been quite brave enough to be able to do so.
• Know that any person becomes shy to some degree. The difference is in their shyness level. You can increase your confidence by practicing your communication skills and fostering new topics you can discuss with others.
• Talk slowly. Talking slowly will help you think about the topic you need to talk about, as well as help you strengthen your words.
• Make a list of the things you love about yourself and stick them on the wall of your room. It can help boost your confidence before leaving home.
• Overcome your stage fright by imagining that you are someone else, such as a celebrity you admire. Imagine that you are the person until you feel more comfortable on stage.
• Being shy is not wrong, but so is being strong!
• Don't hesitate to seek professional help; Support groups, counselors, and therapies can also help. Shyness is sometimes the cause of other underlying medical problems, and it's important to be aware of this. Social Anxiety Disorder often starts with "extreme shyness", so make sure you know the problem you are having.
• Join a club or activity that you enjoy such as a group or sport, but if you're not competitive, join a more collaborative club such as writing or painting. Do your best, and chances are you'll be able to get along pretty well with the other members of the club too.
• Believe in yourself and do your best. Thinking that you will overcome your fear will help you boost your confidence.

Warning

• Usually everything is just your way of thinking, you don't have to be shy, take a deep breath and hold your head up.
• Sometimes shyness is just temporary - many people develop confidence and become stronger with age. You should not try to change yourself unless you are truly unhappy with yourself; Over time, you may get rid of your shyness.
• If you are a shy celebrity in your family or a group of friends, be careful of harmless teasing. Some people will feel uncomfortable when you change yourself beyond their usual perception of you. Ignore them. They mean well, but don't let them scare you so much that you have to go back to your shell!