Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Anyone who has had to regret and regret in life. Regret is an emotion and tendency to think in which people immerse or constantly re-examine or think about an event, reaction, or other action they should have taken. Regret can become a painful burden that interferes with your present happiness, grieves you, and dominates your future. Helpful regrets can also keep you from moving forward. If you are trying to overcome this problem, work on identifying your feelings of regret, learning to forgive yourself, and move on.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Understanding Regret

1. 

   Find out what regret is. It is a serious way of thinking or feeling in which you blame yourself for what happened. Helpful regrets can help you learn how to change your behavior in the future. Unproductive regret, when you completely blame yourself, can create chronic stress and cause many health problems.
   • Regret can be about things that you have done or haven't done. For example, you may regret acting in a certain way during an argument, or you may regret not accepting a career opportunity.

2. 

   
   
   Identify your feelings of regret. This feeling is different for each person, but it often includes: sadness, loss, regret, anger, shame, and anxiety. You should go through an emotional identification with your regret. For example, you might think about something in the past and then think about it relentlessly for most of your day. This can make you feel defeated and hopeless. You may think about your actions or words, or about what you wish you did differently to change your current situation.
   • Frequent reflection and regret can lead to anxiety. And that can cause you to worry about future decisions that you may regret later.

3. 

   
   
   Examine the source of regret. Think about why you are regretful. There are many reasons why people regret it. Typical reasons for regret include:
   • Lifestyle: Many people regret moving to another country or wish they hadn't turned down an offer to buy or sell their home. For example, you leave Vietnam to go to America because you want a better life. But after only a few months, you find it difficult to find work, that you have no street experience, and you feel homesick every day. And you wish you hadn't made a decision like this.
   • Work: People may regret not following a different career path and pursuing jobs they dream of. Or they may regret turning down an offer for a job or promotion. For example, you get tired of commuting every day and often wish you hadn't turned down the chance to be a co-owner in your own company.
   • Family: People may regret not settling a dispute with a relative or friend, especially if the person has passed away. Or they may regret not spending more time with an older family member. For example, you have to go abroad for your spouse's job. You will never be able to maintain contact with your grandmother through phone calls or visits. Now your grandmother has passed away, and you regret not trying harder to keep in touch with her.
   • Children: Humans may regret having children. For example, you have a baby because you want to fulfill your spouse's dream. 1 year later, you are not feeling happy with your parenting and your relationship with your spouse is in trouble because of this problem, you wish to become a dog breeder. as you always wanted. However, keep in mind that many fathers and mothers also experience depression after having a baby, you should seek professional help if you think you are experiencing this.
   • Marriage: People may regret choosing when to marry or a partner. Many people even regret getting married. For example, you marry your spouse because your family loves and accepts that person. After 5 years, you find that you and your partner don't match. You often think about what your life would be like if you married a longtime lover that your family did not like.
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Part 2 of 3: Using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to Overcome Regret

1. 

   
   
   Use Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). CBT will teach you how to change your habits and thinking direction. You can quickly begin to change your feelings of regret, shame, and anger. Instead, you'll focus on healing any harmful, unhelpful thoughts you have.
   • CBT helps to reduce and replace feelings of regret and anxiety, rather than simply telling yourself to stop thinking about the past.

2. 

   Write about your regrets. With regret, people often wonder "why" they acted or did not, and they often get stuck in the process. Make a list of your regrets and any questions you keep asking yourself. For example, you might wonder why you acted the way you did. Re-read the list and change the "why" question to "what happens next?". This method will help you overcome the feeling of being stuck.
   • Example: Instead of asking yourself, "Last week, why did I vent my anger on my child?", You can think about the question "What will happen next?", To the question. Hey, you might reply that after work hours, you don't have much restraint. In the future, you can take 5 minutes to rest before interacting with your children.

3. 

   Lessons learned. Regret can be an important learning tool for the future. Find ways to learn your life lessons and realize that they will help you become wiser. For example, if you regret disrespecting your spouse, you can learn that disrespecting your spouse makes you feel bad. This will help you become a wiser spouse and person.

4. 

   Apply lessons. What makes you feel regretful can also be something you've learned about yourself and others. This understanding will help you reduce your chances of repeating the same thing in the future. Remember to apply the wisdom you have gained.
   • For example, if you've learned that disrespecting your spouse will make the other person feel like they are untrustworthy, don't repeat this in the future.

5. 

   Control how regrets affect your future. Although you cannot change what happened in the past, you can choose how the past affects your present and future.
   • For example, you can't change how much and how often you drank in college, but you can choose not to let this regret make you feel guilty in the present moment or photo affect your choices in the future.

6. 

   Recognize futile regrets. Torturing yourself over things beyond your control can be seen as useless regret. But it can be a positive thing if you improve yourself or act on the opportunities you get. Once you know that you've lost an opportunity, be it education, financial, or emotional, you'll easily be able to correct your mistakes in the future.
   • If you find yourself at odds about taking advantage of new opportunities, ask yourself if you want to worry about the opportunity you missed or try to take advantage of the new opportunity. By doing something new, you are minimizing future regret.
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Part 3 of 3: Moving Forward Feeling Regret

1. 

   Build empathy for others. You are not the only one to regret something. Consider problems other people may be facing. This action will force you to challenge your own prejudices and truly listen to others.
   • For example, if you regret that you drank excessively during your college years, you may gain a deep understanding of your son's feelings after he has had a bad night of pride.

2. 

   Turn regret into an attitude of gratitude. You might think about your regret by saying something like: "I should have ..." "I might have ..." "I don't believe I ..." "Why can't I ... ". Change them into statements of gratitude. You will think differently about the past and begin to let go of your regret. When you use a statement of regret, replace it with a statement of gratitude. This can help you begin to think about your past in a more positive way.
   • For example, change the mindset "I should have gone to college" to "I would be grateful because it wouldn't be too late if I went to college now". Or you can change the saying "I should have worked harder to stop drinking" to "I'm so grateful that I can work hard to do better now".

3. 

   Practice self-forgiveness. Regret can cause resentment towards yourself and others. Instead, you should learn to forgive yourself. This approach not only helps reduce feelings of regret, but also improves self-esteem. A healthy self-esteem is important in many areas of life, including in relationships.
   • Don't just let go of regret. Instead, acknowledge your mistakes and feelings and allow yourself to move on.

4. 

   
   
   Write to yourself. This method of writing to yourself will help you learn to forgive yourself. This emotional and cognitive tool will begin to heal your regretful attitude. Write to yourself when you were young or in the past in a similar way that you were talking to kids or your close friends.
   • Remind young people that you deserve the best in life even if you did, because you are a human being and making mistakes is completely normal.

5. 

   
   
   Assert yourself every day. Affirmation means using positive statements to encourage, uplift and show compassion for yourself. Showing compassion will make it easier for you to empathize with yourself and to forgive the people of your past. You can talk to yourself, write, or think affirmations. Some examples of affirmations include:
   • I am a good person and I deserve the best no matter what my past is.
   • I am human and who do not make mistakes, this is normal.
   • I have learned a lot from my past, and I deserve a bright future.
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Advice

• You cannot change what happened in the past, but you can choose how it affects your present and your future.
• Remember that sometimes you will feel more strict with yourself.
• Visualize yourself taking action and doing new things as you move forward and leave your regret behind.
• Seek out a support group or counselor so you can explore ways you can alleviate your regret.
• Help others by volunteering or donating for a charity so you can get out of your life for a short period of time.
• Write down how you feel about the person you hate, crumple the paper up and throw it hard.
• Remember that everyone makes mistakes, you are not alone.

Warning

• If at some point your regret turns into a state of major depression, causing you to withdraw, harm yourself, or think about suicide, you should contact your doctor or psychologist. school, counselor, psychiatrist, young people talk hotline, a mental health line or anyone you trust. You are not alone.
• If you are feeling sorry for letting someone else abuse or sexually assault you, remember that you are not to blame. But be sure to report to the police about the incident (and report it to your parents if you are young) so they can stop the person from hurting you or other victims.