Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Ending a relationship is not easy, whether it's your decision or your partner's. You may be confronted with painful emotions and want to resolve them as quickly as possible. There are many strategies you can take to get over your pain and move forward, such as writing about how you are feeling, allowing yourself to grieve, and being wary of alternative relationships later. when breaking up. Know that overcoming a emotional breakup takes time and perseverance. If things don't get better after a while, remember that you can always seek support from friends, family, or even a mental health professional.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Step forward

1. 

   
   
   Keep distance. Even if you and your ex decide to keep a friendship, keep your distance from your ex. This means no meeting, not hanging around with her / his family, no phone calls, no emails, no texting, no Facebook, no IMs. You don't have to stop talking to the person forever, but you should cut off all contact until you can completely forget your ex.
   • If your ex tries to persuade you to keep the meeting, you should honestly ask yourself if it's worth it. If you just want to relive the past by meeting your ex, you will be easily drawn into the present situation and it will be difficult for you to give up on that ex.
   • You may need to get in touch with your ex to handle some life issues such as moving house, signing papers, etc., but try to limit it to what is truly essential, and should Remember to keep your calls / meetings brief and polite.

2. 

   
   
   Organize your living space. Breaking up can be a sign of a new start. So cleaning and organizing your private space will make you feel refreshed and ready to face the new thing that awaits you. Frustration can make you feel confused and depressed, and this will only increase your stress level. The cleaning job does not require you to use too much mental energy but also forces you to maintain enough concentration to not think about pain.
   • Clean up your room, hang up a few new posters, arrange your icons on the computer screen. Although it may sound trivial, but the cleaning job will definitely help you feel better.

3. 

   
   
   Eliminate painful memory triggers. Many elements will remind you of your ex - a song, a scent, a sound, somewhere. Keeping them around will make it hard to recover from a hand. Get rid of anything that hurts or hurts your heart. Removing the stimulants from your environment will do wonders for you.
   • If you have a few souvenirs, such as a watch or other jewelry given by your ex, it's okay to keep them. But for the time being, you should put them away until you fully recover from the breakup.

4. 

   Go out into society and do something. After your relationship is over, you can allow yourself to spend some time indoors. But remember that you need to go out into the world after you've dealt with your feelings. Make plans, hang out with friends, and have fun! This will be a little confusing at first, but over time it will get easier and you will feel happier. Getting out of the house and doing something is important because you need to grow and maintain your social network after the breakup. This action will help you move forward in life.
   • You don't have to hang out with other people very often. Go out and enjoy the freedom to do whatever you want. Go to your favorite coffee shop, go shopping, or go on a short trip.

5. 

   Careful before the alternative relationships after breaking up. Usually, people will quickly enter a new relationship after breaking up with their ex; This type of relationship is called a replacement relationship (meaning you quickly find someone else to "fill the void" of your ex). This type of relationship is quite common, but it's not always a good idea. When you enter another relationship right after breaking up with your partner, you may be just trying to hide your negative feelings with the excitement of your new relationship. If it doesn't last, you will have to face the pain of two breakups at the same time. It's a good idea to stay single until you've completely resolved your feelings and got over the breakup.

6. 

   Take care of yourself. After a breakup, people often make little effort to take care of themselves, but this won't make you feel any better. Pay attention to your basic mental, physical, and mental health needs. If you weren't taking care of yourself before, now is the right time to start. You should eat well, get enough sleep, take time to relax and exercise regularly to feel your best.
   • Eat a healthy diet that includes plenty of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein. Stay away from "junk" foods, foods high in sugar and grease.
   • Get 7-8 hours of sleep per night, but keep in mind that some people still feel fine sleeping less than 7 hours, while others need more than 8 hours of sleep per night.
   • Exercise for 30 minutes at a time, 5 times per week. You can walk for 30 minutes, cycle around the neighborhood, or go swimming.
   • Relax for at least 15 minutes a day. Try meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga in order to relax.
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Method 2 of 3: Coping with emotional pain

1. 

   Know that it's okay to feel pain. After you break up, you will feel sad, angry, scared, and other emotions. You may worry that you will be alone for life or that you will never be happy. But remember to remind yourself that after a breakup, these are fairly normal emotions and you need to feel them before you can move on.

2. 

   Stop common habits for a short period of time. This can be quite necessary after a breakup. It can help you process your emotions, and in the end you will go away. However, remember not to do anything that threatens other relationships or your livelihood.
   • For example, you could skip a regular fitness class for a week without worrying about the consequences, but you can't quit for a week. Use judgment and explain the situation to your friends if you need to cancel some of your plans in the process of recovery.

3. 

   Allow yourself to grieve at your loss. Ending a relationship can leave a big hole in your heart, and it will take time to be allowed to grieve.Allow yourself to mourn your loss and experience the pain it causes. Otherwise, it will be difficult to recover quickly and move forward. You can cry, scream, yell, or whatever action you need to take to get rid of your negative emotions.
   • Try to set specific times for you to mourn the loss of your relationship. Coping with your emotions can provide an outlet for you while still keeping you from falling into your emotions.

   

   Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

   Marriage and Family Therapist Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a clinic specializing in training and therapy in New York City. He received a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona University and has been in therapy for over 10 years.

   

   Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
   Marriage and family therapist

   The sooner you accept your feelings and circumstances, the faster your suffering will be.

4. 

   Stay with your supporters. Surround yourself with people who love you and help you feel better about yourself. People who are supportive and understanding will make you feel like you are worthwhile, and you will be able to easily stand on your own feet with loved ones by your side.
   • Don't be afraid to seek the support of friends and family when you need to talk to someone or need a shoulder to cry.

5. 

   Find healthy ways to relieve emotional pain. Your first instinct may be to turn to alcohol, drugs or food to forget or ease your pain, but this is not the long-term solution for you. When dealing with emotional pain, stay away from unhealthy practices. Instead, find ways to cope with your pain in a way that helps you grow and recover.
   • Find a new hobby to keep busy while you recover from the breakup. You can join a class, a club, or learn to do something yourself. Pursue a hobby can help you feel better about yourself, help you avoid thinking about pain for a short period of time, and build your self-esteem by developing new skills.

6. 

   Consider talking to a therapist if the pain becomes too great. Many people can overcome the pain of a breakup on their own, but others do not. If you are having trouble coping with emotional pain or if you think you might have been depressed from the breakup, seek help from a mental health professional as soon as possible. . advertisement

Method 3 of 3: Coping with your emotions

1. 

   Look back at your relationship. Consider all the reasons for the breakup between you and your ex. Remember that even if you have a good time together, you can still run into problems. Thinking about why your relationship ended can help you better understand why you need to move forward. It can also help you avoid making the same mistakes again in the future if you can identify factors that contribute to the end of the relationship. You should ask yourself the following:
   • Am I the one contributing to the end of the relationship? If so, what did I do?
   • Do I tend to choose someone for a date? If so, what are they like? Are they good to me? Why or why not?
   • Have I encountered the same problem in another relationship? If yes, what is the reason why I have this problem? What else can I do when I have another relationship in the future?

   

   Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

   Marriage and Family Therapist Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a clinic specializing in training and therapy in New York City. He received a Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona University and has been in therapy for over 10 years.

   

   Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
   Marriage and family therapist

   By taking the time to forgive yourself and others, you can find the good things in a bad situation.

2. 

   Write about your feelings. You can write in your journal or try to express your feelings in poetry form. It's important to be honest and not correct the facts yourself. One of the best benefits of writing down your feelings is that sometimes you will be amazed at the unexpected insight you get when you empty your mind on paper. The rules will appear clearer, and your grief will be lessened, you will easily learn valuable life lessons from your experience.
   • Try to write about your feelings after breaking up every day until you feel better. For example, you could start each page of your journal with the sentence “It's been __ days after breaking up and I feel _____”. You can then describe how you feel in more detail. This cue will help you track your emotional progress over time and process those feelings well.
   • You can write letters to ex, but don't submit it. This can help you to vent your emotions from time to time. However, send it off Not is a good idea. This letter is for you, so you can write whatever you want to say and finish it. It won't do you any good if you keep repeating the breakup, so just pretend that this is the last time you told the person how you felt.
   • Write a story. Think about when you first started a relationship with that person, and make notes of how long it was from start to finish. This can be quite painful, but it will give you a better overview. When you get to the final chapter, end the story on a positive note and write "End".

3. 

   Deal with anger. Anger feelings can arise when we have a bad reputation or are treated unfairly. When you can't get in touch with your ex, the best way to deal with that anger is to relax ..
   • Take a deep breath and focus on relaxing your muscles. Soft music can often help.

4. 

   Keep up with your decisions. If you were the one to break up, remember that focusing on the happy time you spent with your ex will help you forget the reasons why you broke up. Likewise, do not rethink the situation if the breakup decision is made from that person. Romanticizing the best part of the relationship and convincing yourself that the bad part isn't really that bad is a common act. You shouldn't do this on yourself. You should accept the situation and find a way to move forward.

5. 

   Remind yourself of your ex's negative points. Focusing on all the things you don't like about your ex can help you get over the breakup more quickly. You can make a list of what you don't like about the person. For example, it could be that the person often burps a bit loudly after dinner, or makes a plan himself without consulting you, or forgets your birthday. Make a list of all the little things your ex has done that makes you uncomfortable.

6. 

   Consider why you would be better off without your ex. In addition to reminding yourself of all the things your ex did and that upset you, it can also be helpful to think about the positive things about the breakup. You can make another list of all the reasons why you would be better off without your ex.
   • For example, perhaps your ex is discouraging your efforts to eat healthy, so now you have the right to follow a healthy diet and take more care of yourself. Dear.Or your ex never wants you to do the things you like, then at this moment you are completely free to do them. Make a list of every reason why you are better off with your crush.
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Advice

• Remember that your ex may be trying to remove your mental image as well. You should be vigilant about this and keep your distance. If you've decided not to see each other, stick to this decision: stop seeing each other.
• Know that it's okay to cry and express your feelings. You will feel better when dealing with your emotions than trying to suppress them.
• You can conduct a symbolic ceremony. Humans often hold funerals to commemorate the deceased lost body, and you can also say goodbye to your relationship that will never have been resolved in a slightly formal manner. Collect all the reminders you have about the person and burn them, or donate them to charity. Have your eulogy ready and read it out loud ..

Warning

• If you find that you regularly check MySpace, Facebook, or any of your ex's social media accounts, you should use a program or set up your browser to block the URL path to that person's account. It also helps to remove your ex's account from your friends list. Even if it's all over for good, you might still be in pain and discomfort reading the person's posts.
• Beware of stalking or intimidation, and if you notice anything, promptly report it to the police. That person may just be in trouble, not putting you in danger. But you shouldn't be reckless either. If necessary, you can ask for a restraining order (no access) or a protective order and call the police every time there is a violation; you will need paper evidence if the stalking increases.