Content

• Steps
• Advice

Surely each of us has experienced this: You do or say something wrong and all eyes are on you. Tell yourself that people are judging you and talking about your mistakes. Your face is starting to flush, your heart is racing, and you wish you didn't have to stand here anymore. That feeling of embarrassment and shame is a very normal experience, although everyone can experience it, this is definitely not a happy experience. Fortunately, you can follow these steps to build confidence, avoid embarrassing situations, and deal with your embarrassing moments.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Building Confidence

1. 

   Focus on your strengths. This is the first step in building confidence. Because embarrassment is linked to feelings of inadequacy, reminding yourself of a positive trait can help you feel less socially shy.
   • What are you good at? What is your outstanding quality? Make a list. You can consult a close friend or family member. Remember to write down the personality traits, skills and talents, your physical traits, your social or personal abilities. Reread that list each morning and add more.
   • Be nice to yourself and practice positive self-talk. Every morning, when you look at yourself in the mirror smile and say "You deserve to be happy today!" You can pick a physical trait you like about yourself and compliment it. Try saying "Good morning beautiful people! You have a bright smile!"

2. 

   
   
   Point out your challenge and set a goal. Identify challenges that make you feel insecure or confident. Try to explore these challenges and set realistic goals to improve them as much as possible.
   • For example, if you are awkward, talk softly because you think you are not good at communication, you can first practice to improve your communication skills, then set a goal to challenge yourself. this function.
   • Develop communication skills by recognizing your own messages and then practicing how to convey other messages. You can team up with friends (preferably one with good social skills) and role-play to improve your skills. Be sure to check out Developing communication skills to learn more about how to develop communication skills.
   • Initially you can chat once a week. Then increase it gradually to once a day.
   • Check out Gaining Confidence for more tips on how to develop your confidence.

3. 

   
   
   Maintain a relationship. Sometimes a lack of confidence is caused by family or friends because they blame you for being too focused on your appearance, like dressing well or wearing trendy makeup. Realize that your friends or family are encouraging or discouraging you, and don't hesitate to find a new friend if they hurt you.
   • Good friends celebrate your success and encourage you to try something new.
   • After spending time with your friends, ask yourself how you feel: Feeling fresh and comfortable, ready to welcome the day? Or do you feel tired and exhausted like you just fought? Your emotional posture after being with the person makes you understand how they affect your confidence as well as your overall feelings.

4. 

   
   
   Understand that everyone gets confused at times. We often feel embarrassed when people look and judge us flawlessly. This can happen unexpectedly (in public) or take a long time (when you prepare your speech in public) but it always stems from a fear of lack of confidence and a feeling of insecurity in each of us. As long as you understand that everyone experiences embarrassment, you've completed an important step toward overcoming yourself.
   • Most people suffer from a lack of confidence in life and embarrassment in social situations is common. Let's look at celebrities differently: Jim Carey, Kim Cattrall and William Shatner have gone through many ups and downs in their careers. But they all overcame and achieved great success.
   • A lack of confidence often stems from childhood. For example, if you struggled to get your parents 'approval or attention, or the things you did never did well enough to get their parents' attention, or you were bullied, you may feel a lack of confidence. even as an adult. In some cases, you can treat the problems you were feeling as a child in the present moment.
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Part 2 of 3: Dealing with Shameful Situations

1. 

   Find out what confused you. In what situation do you feel confused? Are you most afraid when strangers judge you, such as when you speak to people? Or are you most embarrassed when a loved one sees your bad behavior, like when food gets stuck to your teeth or a toilet paper gets in your legs?
   • Many people tend to be most embarrassed when acquaintances see them making mistakes. This feeling is almost like shame.
   • Other factors include people gossiping or acting inappropriately (such as talking about sex or bodily functions).
   • Awkwardness is sometimes caused by a lack of confidence. The symptoms may include fear of meeting new people, confusion about their appearance, fear of speaking in class.

2. 

   Admit that it's okay to be awkward. Everyone experiences this feeling and this is very normal! Just like making mistakes and learning from experience, embarrassing situations teach you a lot about who you are and your worth. Also, you understand the aspects you want to develop.
   • Being shy is also a personal trait, part of who you are. Shy people tend to perceive other people's feelings deeply, making them sympathetic people and great friends. So be proud of yourself!
   • Ask your friends about embarrassing situations they have been through. This helps you believe that everyone has experienced embarrassing moments!

3. 

   Forget about mistakes in the past. We often fall into the embarrassing things we go through and imagine that people will think about it when we see us. The truth is that most people have their own insecurities so there is no time to think about you!
   • You can sometimes flash back on embarrassing moments in the past if you want to reconsider. After all, you have overcome embarrassing things in the past, so why is this not?
   • Be kind to yourself, forget everything and move on. What would you say to a friend in a similar situation? Remember to be friends with yourself.

4. 

   Avoid situations that confuse you. Sometimes, recognizing the type of embarrassment you often encounter will help you avoid situations where you are embarrassed.
   • If speaking in public is a factor to embarrass you, try using a Powerpoint presentation or visual aid software. This will distract everyone's attention on you as you speak, subtly. At the same time, you should practice fluently giving your speech to help you feel more confident by understanding what you are saying.

5. 

   Ask your friends for help. If you trust your family and friends that they will not use your concerns to embarrass you, you can ask for help to avoid embarrassing situations. Tell your best friend the situation that embarrassed you the most and ask them to help you avoid it.
   • If your friend tends to show that you are blushing, ask them to stop. Research shows that if someone says that you are blushing, it makes you even more embarrassed!
   • Ask someone you trust to stop teasing you about sensitive topics. For some people, it's most embarrassing to be teased about your insecurity (like your physical features or you like someone). If someone is genuinely interested in you and understands that this topic bothers you, they will stop teasing you.If they don't stop, maybe it's time to find new friends.
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Part 3 of 3: Using Coping Strategies

1. 

   Control body responses. The body recognizes shame like fear, and develops a chain of fear responses such as heart palpitations, sweating hands, blushing, and stuttering. If you exercise, you can control your body's responses by focusing your attention and reassuring your mind, using the same techniques as in quenching a panic attack.
   • Focus your attention on something that doesn't pose a threat in the room, like a clock, poster, or maybe a crack in the wall. Think specifically about the object and start practicing deep breathing techniques.
   • Breathe slowly and deeply, counting to 3 per inhale and exhale. Focus on the sensation of when the air fills your chest and when the air comes out. Visualize your stress and anxiety disappear with each breath.
   • If an embarrassing situation is in place (such as a speech or parent meeting), try to do something that relaxes you before you begin. Many performers perform rituals before the show to help them focus and eliminate stage fright. Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys gave a massage and prayers before each show.

2. 

   Be aware of the confusion. If you do something unexpected and embarrassing, such as pouring water on the table or calling your boss the wrong name, being aware of the situation can help improve your mood.
   • Try explaining why this situation happened. For example, say "I'm sorry for calling your name wrong! Because I'm thinking too much."
   • You can ask for help. If you spill or slip, get someone else to help you. Instead of laughing at your mistake, they contribute to the solution.

3. 

   Laugh together. If you act awkwardly during a meeting or in class, someone in the room will probably giggle. Laughing in a shy situation is a natural human reaction, which doesn't mean that the person looks down on you. Smile with them to show that you have a sense of humor and don't take things seriously.
   • Research shows that using a sense of humor to overcome embarrassing situations is the most effective solution, so learn to laugh at yourself. You can make jokes if you are quick (for example, you spill coffee on a meeting report, you could say "hopefully the page doesn't matter!"), Otherwise you can smiled and said "I'm so shy!"

4. 

   See if the situation gets worse. Sometimes the tendency to be shy is a trait of a perfectionist. But more rarely, excessive shame can be a sign of social anxiety.
   • If you are afraid of shame or fear of being judged by others in your daily activities or having difficulty enjoying social life, you may have an obsessive social disorder (sometimes called social anxiety). festival). Although most people experience embarrassing speeches in public or when slipping in public, people with phobias may feel ashamed of simple everyday things. like ordering food in a restaurant or eating in public. Symptoms of social phobia often appear during puberty.
   • There are many treatment options for people with social phobia, including psychotherapy or medication. Talk to your doctor for a referral to the appropriate psychologist or specialist.
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Advice

• Being confused is not the worst thing in life, sometimes people are ashamed.