Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Shyness is an uncomfortable feeling toward your surroundings, which prevents you from achieving your personal or social goals. Are you a timid, shy person? Does the thought of having to talk to strangers make you feel numb? It's okay, shyness is a very common problem. As with any other downside, you can overcome them if you apply the right methods.

Steps

Part 1 of 2: Finding confidence in yourself

1. 

   Ask yourself what you need to change and why. Are you worried about lack of social skills? Are you struggling with innocuous conversations, having difficulty expressing your emotions, constantly awkwardly stopping talking, and many other practical problems? Perhaps you have tried to be sociable, but still wish I did not feel uncomfortable and insecure.
   • Ask yourself how much you really want to change, because not everyone can be a social person - active, energetic, able to connect with many people. Don't waste effort comparing yourself to others. Don't force yourself to be like them. These are just negative impositions, they just make you feel lonely, out of place, and worse, a feeling of inferiority.

2. 

   
   
   Adjust your thoughts. People who are afraid of social communication often have negative thoughts in their mind. "I look clumsy", "Nobody wants to talk to me", or "Look like a fool" are vicious and negative thoughts that only make you more shy and self-conscious.
   • Try to get rid of this habit by understanding when you risk falling prey to these negative thoughts and challenging their logic. For example, just because you get nervous when you're in front of a crowd or at a party doesn't mean you're weird. The people around you are probably just as anxious and nervous as you are.
   • Adjusting isn't just cramming positive and positive thoughts, but taking a practical perspective. Many negative thoughts come from blind beliefs. Look for evidence against your negative thoughts and look at things from different directions.

3. 

   
   
   Be mindful of the outside world rather than yourself. This is one of the most important aspects of shyness and social anxiety. Most shy people don't notice this, but during a conversation they tend to focus on themselves rather than their surroundings. This makes them understand themselves but still get caught up in a vicious circle. Research shows that being too self-centered causes many people to panic after experiencing moments of anxiety.
   • Instead of focusing on whether you are shy or saying awkward things, try calmly facing your flaws. Smile and continue the conversation and don't pay too much attention to the flaw. Most people will easily empathize with you, because people are more likely to sympathize with each other than you think.
   • Show interest in others and / or things around you. You might think people are observing and judging you, but usually it's not. This misconception is the reason why you are more timid and shy. Almost everyone is busy with their own business and few people have time to care about you.
   • People often misconception that shy people are introverts. In fact, introverts like to be alone and to relax by being alone. Meanwhile, shy people want to join others but are afraid of being judged and criticized by others.

4. 

   
   
   Observe how confident people socially behave. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. So don't imitate and follow exactly what you see, but observing how cleverly people behave in communication will give you a lot of experience in dealing with certain situations.
   • If you know these people well, you can be honest with them and frankly ask for their advice. Let them know that you notice they seem very comfortable socializing and ask them to give you some advice. You may be surprised to find that the person you admire for the ability to communicate is actually shy like you.

5. 

   See a mental health professional to see if you are having trouble overcoming your shyness.Sometimes excessive shyness is also a manifestation of social anxiety disorder. People with this condition are so anxious about being observed and judged by others that they have almost no friends or any romantic relationships.
   • A therapist will help you diagnose a social anxiety disorder and work with you to find the best way to think positively and boost your confidence, thereby helping you stop avoiding interactions with others. people.
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Part 2 of 2: Talking to strangers

1. 

   Always be a friendly person. Would you like to approach an irritable person who always looks down at the table? Probably not. Our body language has a very important influence on other people's first impressions of us, even when we never speak to them directly. Don't just stare at the shoes you're wearing, try a light smile with a confident look instead.
   • Friendly body language sends out the message that you are open to people. Sit in the opposite direction from the person you are talking to, keeping your arms and legs and sitting posture comfortable and relaxed.
   • Keep in mind that your body language not only determines what other people think of you, it also shows your style and who you are. Research shows that charisma is expressed in a relaxed posture or a relaxed arm and leg posture. It manifests when one feels the first or when there is a sense of victory. In contrast, the closed-loop shrinkage like the fetal position in the womb shows impotence and vulnerability.
   • A famous program by Ted has shown that these poses of power and authority are universally universal for all living things - humans, primates, or even birds. The speaker of the show hypothesizes that, if we deliberately display "strength" gestures when we are in a state of insecurity, we will believe in that authority. . That means you have the power to fine-tune your confidence in any situation.
   • Impressing with a powerful pose for two to three minutes can really change brain activity, increase testosterone and decrease stress hormones. Even just imagining strong gestures can make you feel more confident and prepare you to take any risks.

2. 

   Step into the outside world. The best way to meet people is to actively go to places where you have the opportunity to meet lots of people.Go to the dance party in your school or the Christmas gathering place. Try to meet at least one person before the party is over. A good way is to go to a music bar to give you a chance to stand in front of the microphone sing or read some of the poems you wrote in your student days.
   • One researcher said that the best solution for him to overcome shyness in the crowd is to apply for a job at a fast-food restaurant. His growing years at McDonald's forced him to communicate with complete strangers on a daily basis. Although still shy in some social situations, he asserts that these precious experiences have contributed to his growing success.
   • Ask your friends for recommendations to get acquainted with their friends or acquaintances. This is a great way to meet new friends. You won't need to worry about getting to know these new acquaintances, as your middleman will be a safe bridge for you. Talk to them and gradually expand your relationship and establish other intermediate relationships.

3. 

   Practice speaking. It sounds a bit weird, but try practicing your conversation by standing in front of the mirror or closing your eyes and imagining that you are talking to someone. Feeling like you are ready to step into a social situation will help you get rid of fear and shyness as much as possible. Treat your interaction like playing a role in a movie. Imagine and play the role of a communicative person capable of attracting people. Then step out and play your part well in real life.

4. 

   Show off your talents. Getting the most out of your strengths not only helps you feel more confident in the presence of many people, but also makes you more attractive and interesting. For example, if you like painting, think about the fun in which you got a chance to show your talent in painting. Once you feel comfortable, it will be easier for you to shine. Find ways to elicit inspiration and passions from people who share your passion. You can engage people simply by doing something you understand and love.

5. 

   Give sincere compliments. There is no need to over-compliment or flatter someone to the blue clouds. Some successful conversations are usually started with simple compliments from small things like "I like your shirt. Did you buy it at (store name)?" Natural and sincere compliments will give the other person a positive impression of you because it excites them. Moreover, you will definitely walk away with a smile on your face because giving compliments to others also has a positive effect on you, they make you happier.
   • If you know the other person, mention their name in the compliment. Compliments should also be specific. Don't just say "You're awesome" but say "I like your new hairstyle, this hair color really flaunts your complexion".
   • Give three to five daily compliments to people you meet on the road or in everyday activities. Try not to compliment one person twice. Count how many conversations you've made and how many people feel happier when you meet them.

6. 

   Take small steps. Try to improve in small steps, easy to break down into sections, and easy to define. This will give you new things to learn from all the time, and you can be proud that you have made progress. Continue talking to new people and looking for opportunities to connect with others. And also celebrate your little successes, victories when you give someone a few compliments or when fighting over with your own negative thoughts. advertisement

Advice

• Try taking one step per week (or every day). For example, if you find it difficult to maintain a conversation. Try to lengthen the conversation every time you talk to someone. A good way to achieve this is to ask the person many questions.
• Some people get nervous when going somewhere alone. You should try going to the movies alone. You can hardly feel shy in the dark, right? This also shows those in theaters in the same row know that you are confident enough to go to the cinema by yourself. Pretend until you can do it!
• If you need help with something, say that you need help. If you keep it to yourself, you will feel anxious, and you will not be able to get over it.
• Have a random chat with someone, even someone you don't know. Be kind, and soon, you'll make a name for yourself!
• Play sports. It's a great way to meet new people, get out of your shy shell, and show off your sporting talents.
• Always engage in chats with friends or anyone. However, sometimes it's okay to just sit there and listen to them. That's the advantage of being shy, that you can focus on listening and understanding what's going on.
• Pay attention to facial expressions. Don't frown or be shy.
• Don't talk too fast, and pay attention to the breath.

Warning

• Overcoming your shyness is a huge task. Don't expect to be shy today, and that the next day you can completely get rid of it. This is not like that. Be patient, and remember, "Rome is not easy to build in a day" or anything takes time.
• Be yourself and never let anyone discourage you.