Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Convincing others that your approach is the best can be difficult, especially if you're not sure why it was rejected by someone else. Turn the tide of the conversation and convince others to believe your point. The trick is to get them to start questioning why they refused, and with some right tactics, you can.

Steps

Method 1 of 5: The basics

1. 

   Knowing how to timing is paramount. Persuading others is not just about words or body language, it's also about choosing the right time to talk to them. If you reach out to others when they are comfortable and open to talking, it will be easier for you to achieve your goals and get better results.
   • People are most likely to be persuaded immediately after getting help from someone because they feel grateful. Moreover, they are also most easily persuaded after being thanked, the reason being that they feel they have a right to enjoy. If someone thanks you, it's the perfect time to ask for help. It is a kind of giving and receiving. You have helped them, there will come a time when they help you back.

2. 

   
   
   Learn other people. Much of the effectiveness of persuasion lies in the general relationships between you and your clients / children / friends / colleagues. If you do not understand a person well, it is essential to build a relationship immediately, by finding common ground between the two as soon as possible. People generally feel more secure with people like them. So find similarities right away and tell them about them.
   • Let's talk about what they like first. One of the best ways to keep others open when talking is to talk about what they are passionate about. Ask insightful and intelligent questions about what they like, and don't forget to mention why you like them! Seeing your empathy gives them the feeling that they are more receptive and open to you.
     • Example: Is it a photo of them skydiving on the table? It's crazy. Are you looking forward to your very first skydive - but don't you know if you should jump from 10,000 or 18,000 feet? What would the opinion of a seasoned person like them be?

3. 

   
   
   Speak assertively. If you say to your child, "Stop messing around!" Whereas what you really want to say is "Clean up your room!" then you will not reach your goal. "Don't hesitate to contact me" is not the same as "Call me on Thursday!". Anyone will not be able to fulfill your request if they don't understand what you mean.
   • There are a few things that must be made clear. If you are confused, the other person will be able to agree with you, but not necessarily know what you really need. Assertive communication helps you stay in the direction and keep your goals clear.

4. 

   
   
   Rely on ethos, pathos, and logos elements. Did you know this when in college in Literature that taught Aristotle's elements? If not, then here is a summary for you. Aristotle was very clever, and these elements were so human that they still have meaning to this day.
   • Ethos - Think credibility. We tend to believe in people we respect. Why do you think there are speakers? It is because of this factor. Here is an example: Hanes. Quality lingerie, reliable company. Is it enough to buy their product? Maybe. Wait, Michael Jordan has been dressed in Hanes for over twenty years? Out of stock!
   • Pathos - Believe in your feelings. Everyone knows that SPCA commercials with Sarah McLachlan are on sad music and poor puppies. This ad is bad. Why? Because you watch it, you get sad, and you feel like you have to help those puppies. Pathos has come into play.
   • Logos - derived from "logic". This is probably one of the most honest of the ways to persuade. You simply state why the person you're talking to should agree with you. If you are told that “On average, an adult smoker will live 14 years shorter than a nonsmoker” (this is the truth), and you believe you want to live a longer, healthier life, then That argument will force you to stop smoking. Exactly! That is convincing.

5. 

   Create demand. This is rule number one when it comes to persuasion. After all, if there is no demand for what you are trying to sell / acquire / do, nothing will happen. You don't have to be Bill Gates (although he obviously created a need), all you need to do is look at Maslow's Tower of Demand. Think about the different levels of need, namely psychological needs, security and security, love, feelings of belonging, self-esteem or self-control. You will certainly find something that is missing, something only you can improve on.
   • Create scarcity. Aside from what humans need to survive, almost everything has some relative value. Sometimes (perhaps most of the time) we want something simply because others want (or have) them. If you want someone to want what you have / want, you have to make it scarce, even if the thing is yourself. Finally, supply when demand arises.
   • Create urgency. To get people to act in seconds, you must be able to arouse a sense of urgency. If they are not motivated enough to want what you have right now, chances are they won't change their mind in the future. You have to convince others right now, that's all there is to it.
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Method 2 of 5: Skills

1. 

   Talk fast. Yes. Exactly! People are more likely to be persuaded by someone who speaks quickly, confidently than by accuracy. Sounds reasonable. The faster you speak, the less time your audience has to deal with what you say and ask. That way, you will get the feeling that you really got the hang of it by producing a variety of facts at high speed, with more confidence.
   • In October 1976, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology analyzed speech speed and attitudes. The researchers chatted with the participants, trying to convince them that caffeine was not good for them. When they spoke at a rate calculated at 195 words per minute, participants were more persuaded; when they speak at 102 words per minute it is more difficult to convince. Arguably at the rapid rate of speech (195 words per minute is the fastest rate a person would speak in a normal conversation), the message is said to be more reliable - and therefore more convincing. . Rapid speaking seems to imply superior intelligence, objectivity and understanding. The rate of 100 words per minute, the minimum rate of regular conversation, is often tied to the negative side of the matter.

2. 

   Be complacent. Who would have thought that being complacent is a good thing (in some appropriate situations)? In fact, recent studies have suggested that people prefer complacency over expertise. Have you ever wondered why politicians who look incompetent with wigs get rid of all problems? Why does Sarah Palin still have a show on Fox News? It is a consequence of the way human psychology works. A real consequence.
   • Research done at Carnegie Mellon University has shown that people like advice from confident people, even when we know they don't have a background. If they are aware of this (subconsciously or otherwise), they will probably show their full confidence on a topic.

3. 

   Master body language. If you seem uneasy, withdrawn, and don't want to compromise, people won't want to listen to you. Even if you say absolutely right, they will only look at your body language. Be careful with your gestures as well as be careful with your words.
   • Be open. Don't cross each other and point your body towards the opposite person. Maintain good eye contact, smile, and don't be fervent.
   • Imitate others. Again, people like people they feel like them, by imitating them, you're actually putting yourself in their shoes. When they lean on an elbow, lean on the opposite elbow. When they lean back, recline. Don't do this on purpose as this will attract attention, in fact if you've already felt a connection, you should almost automatically do it.

4. 

   Consistency. Imagine a veteran politician dressed solemnly on a podium. A reporter asked a question as to why his supporters are all 50 years old or older. In response, he shook his fist, firmly asserting "I sympathize with the younger generation." Is there something wrong here?
   • All is incorrect. His whole image: body language, movement went against what he said. He has an appropriate, soft answer, but his body language is too stiff, uncomfortable, and drastic. As a result, he is unreliable. To be persuasive, your message and body language have to go hand in hand. Or, you'll look like a blatant liar.

5. 

   Consistently. Don't disturb others when the person insists on refusing, but don't let that make you give up the opportunity with the next person. You can't be persuasive enough in everyone's eyes, especially before you get past the learning phase. Consistency pays off in the long run.
   • The most persuasive person is someone who is willing to repeatedly ask for what they want, even when others refuse. No world leader can achieve anything if they give up on the first rejection. Abraham Lincoln (one of the most revered presidents in history) lost his mother, three sons, daughter and girlfriend, failed in business and lost eight different contests until he was elected General. United States of America.
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Method 3 of 5: Motivation

1. 

   Economic motivation. If you want something from someone else but not very positive. What can you give them? Do you know what they want? The first answer is: money.
   • Let's say you run a blog or a newspaper site and want to interview an author. Instead of saying, "Hey! I love your work! ”, What can you do better than these words? Here's an example: “Dear John, I have just learned that you are going to publish a book in the next few weeks, and I believe my blog readers will enjoy reading your work. Would you be interested in a 20 minute interview, and I will send it out to my readers? We will conclude the interview with a highlight on your upcoming work. ” Now John knows that if he participates in this article, he will gain a wider audience, sell more works, and make more money.

2. 

   Social dynamics. Not everyone cares about money. If money is not an option, choose socially. Most people are interested in their general image. If you know one of their friends, the better.
   • The same situation is just using social dynamics: “Dear John, I've just learned that part of your research has been published, and I can't help but wonder,“ Why does EVERYONE know yet? About that study? ” I don't know if you'd be interested in doing a quick 20-minute interview where we talk about a piece of that research? In the past, I have written about research by Max, someone I worked with, and I believe your research will be a standout post on my blog. Now, John knows that Max is a catalyst (in terms of ethos - prestige) and this person is impressed with his work. Socially, John has no reason to not participate and too many reasons to accept.

3. 

   Morally. Arguably this is the weakest method, but it will work for some people. If you think someone won't be influenced by money or social image, give it a try.
   • "Dear John, I just got to know that part of your research has been published, and can't help but wonder," Why doesn't EVERYONE know about it? " As a matter of fact, this is one of the reasons why I launch my Social Advocates podcast My big goal is to bring close-up insight from academic writing to public. I don't know if you want to do a quick 20 minute interview? We can focus on clarifying your research to the audience, and hopefully we can bring in a little more. knowledge comes to the world. " The last sentence does not concern money or ego but goes directly to the question of morality.
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Method 4 of 5: Strategy

1. 

   Take advantage of guilt and mutual support. Have you ever heard your friend say, "Let me pay for the first time!" and immediately thought "Then I pay for a second time!"? That is because we depend on reciprocity, to return favors to ensure fairness. So when you give someone a "good deed", think of it as an investment in the future. Others will "want" to repay you.
   • If you are in doubt, everyone uses this approach around you all the time. ANYTIME. Why are there annoying women in department stores giving out creams? Must have back and forth. A room of mint candy in the end of last meal payment cover? Only back and forth. A free 1800 Tequila at the bar? There is reciprocity. Everywhere. Businesses around the world use that.

2. 

   Harness the power of consensus. It is human nature to want to be great and "trendy". When you let others know they can fit in (hopefully with a group or with someone they respect), it reassures them that what you suggested was right and distracted them. from the calculations of whether a thing is good or not. Having a "herd mentality" will allow us to be mentally lazy. At the same time also helps us not to feel lost, left behind.
   • An example of the success of this approach is the use of hotel information cards in the bathroom. In one study, the number of customers who reused their towels increased by 33% when a hotel room information card stated that "75% of customers staying at this hotel reuse their towels," according to real research. Show about The Impact at Workplace in Tempe, Ariz.
     • Everything will become more stressful. If you've ever attended a General Psychology class, you've probably heard of this phenomenon. Back in the 50s, Solomon Asch performed a series of conformance studies. He took the subject as a similar group of people who were asked to answer incorrectly (in this example, whether a line is shorter or longer than a longer line). As a result, it was surprising that 17% of the participants said that the shorter line is longer and completely contrary to what they truly believe, just to be in line with the majority standards. Crazy, right?

3. 

   Ask a lot. If you are a parent, you've seen this in practice. A child said, "Mom, mommy! Let's go to the beach! ". The mother said no, feeling a little guilty, but didn't change her choice or opinion. But then the child said, "Okay, can we go to the pool then?" The mother "wanted" to agree and "had" agreed.
   • So ask what "second" you really want. Others will feel guilty for rejecting an offer, no matter what it is. If the second offer (which is actually the original offer) is something they have no reason not to do, they will immediately take the opportunity. The following suggestion frees them from their guilt, as an escape route. If you want a 10 dollar donation, ask for $ 25. If you want to finish the project in 1 month, ask for it in 2 weeks first.

4. 

   Use the word "we". Studies have shown that repeating "we" is more effective at persuading others than other less positive approaches (namely, the intimidating approach). If you don't, I will and a rational-excuse approach You should do this for the following reasons. The use of "we" conveys intimacy, resemblance and understanding.
   • Remember we mentioned earlier that it's important to make rapport so that the audience feels like and likes you? Then, we told you to imitate your body language so that the audience feels close to you and likes you? Well, now you should use "we" so that the listeners are close to you and like you. Bet you didn't think about it.

5. 

   All things started. You probably already know that sometimes a team can do almost nothing until a kicker "rolls the ball"? Yes, you must be that person. If you are a starter, the listeners will tend to be complete.
   • People are more likely to voluntarily complete one thing than do the whole thing. During the next laundry, put the laundry in the washing machine, then ask someone else to do it. Too easy, they could hardly find a reason to refuse.

6. 

   Get them to agree. People want to be consistent with themselves. If you get them to agree (in one way or another), they'll want to keep it. If they admit they want to solve a problem and you come up with a solution, they will be compelled to explore it. Whatever the price, get them to agree.
   • In a study by Jing Xu and Robert Wyer, participants showed that they were receptive to "anything" if the first thing that appeared was something they fully agreed with. As part of the study, participants listened to a speech by John McCain or Barack Obama and then watched a Toyota commercial. Republicans were more persuaded by the commercial after seeing John McCain, and what about Democrats? As you guessed - even more pro-Toyota after watching Barack Obama. So if you're trying to sell something, get the customer to agree with you first - even if what you say has nothing to do with what you sell.

7. 

   Keep balance. No matter what the problem is, everyone has an independent opinion and not all of them are idiots. If you don't cover every aspect of the argument, the other person will be less likely to trust you or agree with you. If weaknesses start to show up in the short term, fix them yourself, especially before someone else does.
   • Over the years, studies have been conducted to compare one-way and two-way arguments with their effectiveness and persuasion in many different contexts. Daniel O’Keefe at the University of Illinois reviewed the results of 107 different studies (over 50 years and 20,111 participants) and developed the meta-analysis. He concluded that the two-way argument was more convincing than making the one-way equivalent law in a spreadsheet - with different types of persuasive messages and with different audience composition.

8. 

   Use conditional reflexes. Have you ever heard of Pavlov's dog? No, not the name of the Rock band from St. Mary. Louis. Experiment on classic conditions. That's it. You do something that unconsciously triggers a response from others - and they are not aware of it. Doing this takes time and a lot of effort.
   • If every time your friend mentions Pepsi, you groan, that's a good example of a conditional reaction. In fact, when you groan, your friends will think of Pepsi (maybe you want more Coke?). Another useful example would be if your boss uses the same words to compliment everyone. When you hear your boss praise someone, it will remind you of when your boss is complimenting you - and you'll work harder with pride and excitement.

9. 

   Raise your expectations. If you're in the position of a powerful person, this approach works even better - and is a must. Let others know that you are full of confidence and positive influences on your subordinates (employees, children, etc.) and that they will be more inclined to listen to you.
   • If you tell your child that he is very smart and that you know he will get good grades, he won't let you down (if he can avoid it). Let your child know that you are confident about it, which will make it easier when your child believes in himself.
   • If you are the boss at the company, be a positive source of inspiration for the employees. If you give someone a difficult project, let that person know that you gave it to them because you know they can do it. They are showing X, X and X qualities that prove it. With this impact, their work results will be much better.

10. 

    Determine your loss or loss. If you can give someone something, great. But if you can prevent something from being taken away, you're on the right track. You can help others avoid stressors in their lives, why would they refuse?
    • There is a study in which a group of employees has to decide on a proposal for a loss or profit. The difference is enormous: Twice as many employees agree with the proposal if the company is expected to lose $ 500,000 and the proposal is not accepted, compared to the project giving $ 500,000 in profit. Can you convince better just by taking the costs and comparing it with the benefits? It can be possible.
    • This works even at home. Can't ask your husband to leave the television screen for a fine evening? Kinda easy. Instead of wrapping up preparations and nagging your husband about needing “a great time”, remind him that this is the last night before your children return.Perhaps he will be convinced when he learns that he is ignoring something.
      • This should be carefully considered. There are contradictory studies that show that people don't like being reminded of negative things, or at least personal problems. Especially for those close to the house, they will go mad at the negative moves. They prefer having "sexy skin" to "preventing skin cancer," for example. Because of that, consider what you are asking for before you impose it on others in one way or another.
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Method 5 of 5: As a salesman

1. 

   Keep eye contact and smile. Be polite, cheerful, and be charismatic. A good attitude will help you more than you think. People will want to listen to what you have to say, eventually finding your way around is the hardest part.
   • You don't want them to think you want to impose your views on them. Be skillful and confident, and they'll be more likely to believe every word you say.

     

2. 

   Know your product. Show them the benefits of your idea. Not for you! Tell them the benefits of "them". That will always catch their attention.
   • Honest. If you have a product or idea that is not essential to them, they will know. Things will turn out serious and they will not believe even if that statement is true to them. Identify both sides of the situation and make sure you speak properly, and win their hearts.

3. 

   Prepare for all contradictions. And be prepared for cases you never thought about! If you have prepared your speech and tone and spent a lot of time making a careful assessment, this is probably not the problem.
   • People will look for reasons to decline if it seems like you will get a better deal of money from the deal with them. Reduce this to the lowest level. The listener should be the beneficiary, not you.

4. 

   Don't be afraid to agree with someone. Negotiation is a huge part of persuasion. Just because you have to negotiate doesn't mean you'll win in the end. In fact, dozens of studies have shown that the word "yes" simply has a lot of convincing power.
   • The word "yes" is not a very persuasive word but carries a certain amount of weight because it shows you as a pleasant and friendly person and that other people are part of the request. Set limits on what you are looking for as if it were an agreement rather than a gift someone else has to offer to "help" you.

5. 

   Use indirect communication with boss or leaders. When talking to your boss or someone powerful, you will want to avoid direct communication. The same goes for when your proposal is quite ambitious. For leaders, you want to direct their thoughts, let them think and orient themselves. They need to retain their sense of power to feel satisfied. Execute your intentions and skillfully deliver your ideas to them.
   • Start by making your boss less confident. Let's talk about something they don't know much about. If possible, talk outside the boss's office where everything is neutral. After convincing, remind them who is the boss (it's them!), So make them feel powerful again so they can influence your request.

6. 

   Relax and stay calm when there are conflicts. Getting around emotions never makes someone more effective at persuading. In sensitive or conflicting situations, staying calm, relaxed, and emotionless will give you a step up. If someone is losing control, they will turn to you for a sense of stability. Ultimately, you will be in control of your own emotions. They will trust you in those moments to guide them.
   • Use your anger on purpose. Discord will make most people uncomfortable. If you are willing to "get on with", add stress to the situation, that's it, and others will tend to give in. Don't do it too often, though, and of course don't do it in the midst of hot oil or when you can't keep your emotions. Only use this tactic with a tactic and a clear purpose.

7. 

   Be confident. It cannot be emphasized all that: certainty is more of a must-have, more engaging and engaging than any other. One person in the room was talking repeatedly with a smile on his face radiating confidence, he was the one who persuaded others more than the rest of his group. If you truly believe in what you do, other people will see it and respond. They will want to be as confident as you are.
   • If you don't have confidence, you need to actually pretend to be. If you walk into a 5-star restaurant, no one needs to know that you are wearing a hired suit. As long as you don't walk in with jeans or a t-shirt, no one will wonder. And when you start to speak, think of the right words as well.
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Advice

• Be careful in your words. Everything you say should be upbeat, encouraging, and commendable; Negative and criticism is a minus point. For example, a politician speaking "hope" will have a chance to win the election; talking about "bitter hardship" won't work.
• Sometimes, letting your listeners know something extremely important to you helps, and sometimes it doesn't work very well; be careful.
• Whenever you start an argument, agree with the other person, and include all the good points from that person's point of view. For example, if you want to sell your trucks to an interior store, and your manager says it right in your face. "No, I won't buy your truck! I prefer this brand or that brand more because of this and that". You must agree, in response something like that "Of course car brands are good, in fact, I've heard they have more than 30 years of fame". Believe it, then he won't have any more insistence. From there, you can give your opinion about how your truck is, ... "But I don't know that if the truck fails to start up in the cold, will their company help you? And will you have to call towing and truck repair service alone?" This will allow him to consider your point of view.
• Don't try to negotiate with someone when you are tired, impatient, distracted, or "in the mood"; you might give in and regret it later.
• Everything will work if you are friendly, sociable and have a good sense of humor; If you are someone other people like to go with, you will have more influence on them.

Warning

• Don't give up suddenly - This will make others think they won, and make it even more difficult to convince them later.
• Don't dogma too much because others will close all doors towards your point of view when you lose your influence on them.
• NEVER criticize or confront your target audience. This can be tricky sometimes, but you will learn how to achieve your goal this way. In fact, as long as you get a little annoyed or frustrated, they will take note of this and immediately defend, so it's best to wait until a while later. A long time later.
• Lies and brags are never a good choice from both the moral and the practical side. Your audience is not dumb, and if you think you can deceive them undetected, you get what you deserve.