Content

• Steps
• Advice

Punishing children can be quite a difficult task, especially for stubborn kids or older children. Not only does punishment help teach young children about possible and unacceptable behavior, but specific types of punishment will also teach them how to respond to adverse adulthood as well. If you deal with negative behavior with rational discussion and problem solving, your children will learn from this, because they will learn a lot more from the way you act than from what you say. Most experts agree that the most important part in punishing children is making sure they feel safe and loved, and they also say that positive reinforcement is more effective than punishment.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Present consequences for bad behavior

1. 

   
   
   Be clear about expectations and consequences. Make sure your children understand your expectations and what will happen to them if they break the rules. You can let your child know the consequences of their actions by explaining the relationship between the choice and the outcome. For example, you can link your child's behavior with consequences by saying things like:
   • "You will have to leave the park early because of the wrong attitude."
   • "I lost my turn because I stole your toy."
   • "I have to go home early today for biting you."
   • "I lost my right to play with toys because I refused to pick them up."
   • "I have lost everyone's trust because I was dishonest."

2. 

   
   
   Allow your child to learn from mistakes. Taking action has consequences, and places like schools, churches, and society all have unique requirements for your child. Children sometimes need to learn from their unpleasant experiences to realize that the rules of their behavior are not unique to the home. It can be tough, but sometimes your child needs to fail in order to be aware of the consequences.
   • For example, instead of staying up late to help your child with homework before the assignment is due, give them a bad grade if they don't do their homework. This lesson is especially important for older children as they will begin to hope for independence and gain confidence in you.
   • For young children, this lesson can be constructed from a less serious form. For example, if your child intentionally damages a toy, do not replace the toy. This method will help them learn about a sense of responsibility and understand how it feels to lose something.
   • Children of all ages need to learn to respect others, so you should not interfere if your child is not invited to a party or event because they are not doing well with them. other children.

3. 

   
   
   Use timeout punishment (isolating or facing a wall) to punish children when needed. This is a great way to give children and parents time to calm down after a stressful situation. Choose an area that is quiet and free of distractions, but doesn't need to be out of your sight. Ask your child to spend this time thinking about a solution to the quarantine problem.
   • This method should not be used to defame or punish children.
   • For young children, especially children under 3 years old, you can use the timeout rug so you don't take your eyes off them. This is a portable rug, and you can bring it to use even when out and about.
   • Each quarantine penalty should not exceed 1 minute for each of the child's five years of age.

4. 

   Get rid of a privilege or forfeit a toy. You should do this right after the mistake is made so that the child can understand and associate the bad behavior with punishment. Take this opportunity to teach your child about natural and reasonable consequences by associating a certain act of toy or privilege seizure with bad behavior.
   • Physical objects like toys will be quite suitable for young children, while older children will respond better to the loss of privilege or freedom they already have.
   • The sanctioning process should not be surrendered and ended earlier than intended; otherwise your child will know later that he or she can control the situation.
   • You can remove your child's privileges including the right to watch TV, play computer or video games, play with friends or go to the park, party, or use other family transport. with older children.

5. 

   Stay away from physical punishment. In many countries and regions, corporal punishment is illegal, it will negatively affect the parent-child relationship, and can damage normal development. children's society. Almost all experts agree that, although corporal punishment will affect a child's immediate behavior, it does not help children understand right and wrong. Instead of giving children control over their emotions, corporal punishment teaches them that physical violence is a perfectly acceptable response to anger and adverse situations.
   • Physical punishment can lead to aggressive behavior.
   • There is not any evidence to prove that this is an effective method to curb future child misconduct.
   • The negative effects of this punishment will follow a child into adulthood in the form of substance abuse and mental health problems.

6. 

   Put away any temptations for young children. Young children and babies are very curious and it will be difficult to understand that they are not allowed to touch certain objects. An alternative approach you can take is to remove all of these objects from your child's view so they won't be attracted to them.
   • For example, if you don't want your child to play with your phone or other electronics, keep them in a place that they won't see or touch.
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Part 2 of 3: Help your child recognize wrong behaviors

1. 

   Keep calm. It is okay to separate yourself from the situation and allow yourself time to calm down. Delaying the punishment will give you time to set up the right punishment, and let your child think about the action they have taken. Make it clear that you need time to calm down, and that you will discuss the matter when you are ready.
   • Try not to sarcasm, threaten, or criticize your child. This will only make your child angry and can have a lasting effect on his or her self-esteem.
   • Watch for warning signs of a fight or fasting response, such as a rapid heart rate, sweaty, and trembling palms. This happens when you feel extremely angry, frustrated, or hurt.
   • Practice different relaxation techniques and determine what works best for you. Taking deep breaths, taking walks, meditating, and taking a bath are all good therapies to help calm you down. Many people even find that activities like cleaning, exercising, or reading are also great ways to calm down.

2. 

   Say "no" to the child. Act as soon as you notice your child is behaving inappropriately and focus their attention on the behavior they have engaged in. You need to explain to your child why this is an unacceptable behavior, and help them understand why they are being blamed. This approach will make your child understand that their behavior will have consequences.
   • Be serious, but don't scream. If you scold to express your feelings, your child will learn the same thing.
   • Stay calm and act quickly, but not on anger.
   • Speak clearly and make eye contact.
   • For a toddler or toddler, sit down at the child's level while talking.
   • Explain if your child is old enough to understand. Keep things around your emotions and focus on how their behavior affects and hurts others. For teens and adolescents, discuss the consequences of their actions or decisions more broadly.

3. 

   Isolate a child from the situation that is happening. If your child is behaving inappropriateness, being angry, frustrated or disruptive, separate him from the situation. Take children to a safe place to discuss their feelings and behavior, and tell them how to improve in the future. Remember that young children often do not know how to properly express themselves, and punishment is not the best way to teach them.
   • Encourage them and reassure them that you are supportive of them.
   • Say you love children.
   • Soothe your children by saying you understand them.
   • Young children will respond best to hugs and physical intimacy at this time, as this is what makes them feel safe and loved.
   • Older children will generally not want to be held in this situation, but make sure you are there to support them, and teach them how to calm or calm them. This includes deep breathing, counting, distraction, listening to music, and visualization techniques.

4. 

   Put yourself in the shoes of someone in power. Young children are often disobedient and unwilling to listen if they think they can get rid of punishment. You should create a reminder that you are the decision maker. Repeat this sentence when your child misbehaves. Stick to your decisions, otherwise your kids will think they're in control. Remember that you are a parent, not their friend, and your job is not to try to please them, but to keep your children safe and healthy, and to teach them. about etiquette and sense of responsibility.
   • To establish the controls you can use phrases like “Mom / Dad is the parent / father of the child” or “It's the parent / father who has authority here”.
   • Don't be humble no matter how angry your child is. Don't give up even if they are trying to manipulate you (by holding your breath, for example).
   • The older child will challenge you in this situation. You should encourage children to participate in discussions about decisions that can affect their lives, and to understand the impact different choices have on them. Remember that the final decision is yours, but be prepared to explain why you made the decision so that your child is aware of the responsible decision-making process.
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Part 3 of 3: Positive reinforcement of good behavior

1. 

   Set an example for good behavior. Your child needs to observe to know what good behavior is. No matter what age your kids are, they will recognize how you react to and behave in a variety of situations. Make sure you are a role model for the behavior you want your child to perform.
   • For example, if you want your child to behave well, make sure you become a role model for your child to follow. This can be as simple as saying "please" and "thank you", or waiting patiently in line at the supermarket.

2. 

   Praise your child. Children sometimes become destructive because they know they will get attention, so you should recognize, acknowledge and thank you for their good behavior rather than just reacting to the behavior. bad action. This will boost self-esteem, encourage better behavior, and prevent bad behavior. Focus on your own emotions and on the positive impact of the behavior your child performs, and your child will know that good manners are rewards.
   • Tell your children that you are proud of the right decision they made.
   • Be specific when you praise your child and emphasize the behavior you want to acknowledge.
   • Depending on your child's age, you can thank them for listening, sharing, or for completing duties and tasks.
   • Compare past actions with the present and focus on your child's progress. Set realistic goals so your child will constantly improve in the future.

3. 

   Reward good behavior. Give your children a small reward to thank them for listening, playing well, completing tasks, and other good behaviors. Favors for children can also be used as rewards, but you should avoid using foods as rewards, as this can lead to bad eating habits. Do not bribe your children to behave properly by rewarding them in advance.
   • Many families use sticker charts to track positive change in young children.Tell them what to expect from your child so they can get a sticker, and at the end of the day you can hold a family meeting to discuss the child's behavior for the day and take action. that your child has made that they deserve a sticker (or not).
   • You can also use the scoring system, and good behavior will help your child get bonus points that can be exchanged for fun activities or gifts. This scoring system will provide older children with privileges, such as using a home car or hanging out with friends.

4. 

   Allow your child to make decisions. Children often behave inappropriately because they feel that they have no control. Give your children the power to make small decisions and they will feel more controlled and less destructive.
   • For young children, allow them to choose between reading and coloring before dinner or bedtime.
   • Let your child choose their own clothes.
   • Give your child a choice of toys they can use during bath time.
   • Ask your children what kind of sandwich they want for lunch.
   • As your child gets older, the decision can be a bit more important. Allow your child to choose what class they want to take if the school allows it, or let them decide which sport or after-school activity they want to take.
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Advice

• Consistency is key to your success in educating your child. You should make sure that the caregiver (the employee, the babysitter) understands the right way and when to punish the child.
• Be steady: don't let your child get out of punishment just because they are showing anger.
• Always be patient, and remember that young children may not be able to tell you what happened, and that their actions can be rooted in disappointment.