Content

• Steps

Every relationship has many ups and downs, and there are times when you feel like you need your own space. That's usually when we hear someone say "I need my own space," and we think of the worst. However, needing your own space doesn't necessarily mean you want to end the relationship. It is simply that you want to focus on certain obligations at school, work, or home. Here are some steps to help you tell your partner that you need space.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Case Analysis

1. 

   Identify exactly why you need space in your relationship. Take time to think carefully about what causes your feelings. You may want to write down those reasons for later reflection. This will help you to answer some of the questions your boyfriend will ask you about your decision.
   • Some common reasons for wanting to have private space in a relationship are the need to spend time alone to relax after a busy work week, want to focus on a certain project, or want to take care of. to private family matters.

2. 

   
   
   Decide what you really want to do for the relationship. Chances are your boyfriend would be tempted to know what being alone like that means for the relationship between you two. If you decide to break up with your boyfriend, staying alone is the best way to do it now.
   • Time spent together and time spent alone needs to be balanced in a healthy relationship. When you have a healthy relationship, you also realize who you really are and maintain a relationship beyond love.

3. 

   
   
   Plan a time and place to meet and chat. The right time is when you both feel relaxed, calm, and able to focus on listening to the other person. A quiet public place is a great place to chat and avoid quarrels, such as a park or a coffee shop is a great option. advertisement

Part 2 of 4: Meeting

1. 

   
   
   Control the conversation. Make sure you stay focused and not distracted. Use “I / Em” statements to focus on what you need and want. Sentences that begin with “I / I” show that you are taking responsibility for your decisions. This will also help your boyfriend feel less offensive or reprimanded. Some examples of sentences that begin with "I / You" are:
   • "I'm not happy".
   • "I feel too much pressure."
   • "I don't have enough time to pursue my hobbies."

2. 

   Set clear instructions. Determine how much you will keep in touch with each other, including chatting, texting, and meeting in person.
   • Communication can take some form once in a few days, once for several weeks, or once a month.
   • Setting a specific time to communicate with the other person will add stability to the relationship. Maybe your mom has an appointment with the doctor in the morning, then afternoon would be a more appropriate time or you volunteer regularly on weekends, so weekdays will is the best choice.

3. 

   Give a timeline. It's important to tell your boyfriend how long he should give you some space. Be specific, like in a week or a month. Controlling his expectations has a sense of necessity. After the first period has passed, the desired time for extra space should be reassessed by both of you.
   • Infinite time is not the best option because it is ambiguous and leaves the other person feeling powerless.
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Part 3 of 4: Handling Your Boyfriend's Reactions

1. 

   Make sure you calmly acknowledge his feelings and concerns. You should say this:
   • "I see you seem sad".
   • "I know I hurt you".
   • "What can I share with you?".

2. 

   Diffuse outbursts of anger. Try to focus on listening to him, and then he will calm down. If your emotions go in the direction of anger, don't make things more stressful. Let your boyfriend know that you want to quickly stop the conversation for a moment and that you will continue to share when you both calm down.

3. 

   Accept the possibility that your boyfriend disagrees with your choice. Maybe he doesn't need his own space, and wants to end the relationship. If this is the case, you should agree to his decision to break up to avoid further wounds. advertisement

Part 4 of 4: Evaluation of Results

1. 

   Act according to your plan, and ask yourself a few questions to help you feel as comfortable and adjusted as you want:
   • "Did I have the private space I wanted?"
   • "Is private space beneficial for me?"
   • "Is there anything else I want to change?"

2. 

   Together, identify clear and precise change. You can decide to keep the conversation going if you want. Perhaps you and your boyfriend will choose to enhance communication with each other by texting or chatting, but you will continue to rarely see each other.Or you can choose to stop using all forms of communication together.

3. 

   Give them positive feedback to show that you support and care for them.
   • "I'm grateful for your support".
   • "I appreciate it when we worked out this together."
   • "I'm really happy when you try to do this with me".
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