Author:
Lewis Jackson
Date Of Creation:
11 May 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
Do you find someone's bullying personality despicable? Do you confuse someone's antics as a subtle insult? In most cases, people's actions are usually not personally directed. What should be explored here is how the person grew up, how they deal with emotional problems, or other changes such as their mood, energy or health. This is important to keep in mind when you blame things out of your control. In order to stop complicating things for yourself, it is necessary to consider the factors surrounding the situation as well as the living conditions and motives of others. Improving your confidence and assertive communication are key to coping with other people's comments.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Improve confidence
Write a list of your strengths. Everyone has their own attitudes and opinions. We become more sensitive to what others say, if we have doubts and put ourselves in the opinions and actions of others. When you are confident in your abilities, someone else's rude behavior or negative opinion is less likely to affect you.Pride and confidence in your own abilities are more important than the opinions of others.- Write a list of your strengths and abilities to remember them.
- Make a list of events or moments that you are proud of. Reward yourself for those good things. Think about the kind of skills you show during those moments. How can you show them more? This will help build confidence.
Write a list of goals. Having a goal to work towards will give you a sense of worthiness and purpose. Those are the things you want to improve or grow.- Next, work on each of the goals and break them down into smaller steps. How can you get started and work toward your goals? What are the little things you can do now?
Remind yourself of how you helped others. Supporting and helping others is helpful and gives you a sense of meaning and purpose. This contributes greatly to building confidence. Remind yourself of benefits and contributions for everyone around you.- Consider volunteering for a hospital, school, local humanitarian organization, or a website like wikiHow.
Remind yourself that you don't need to pay attention to the acknowledgment of others. If you are particularly sensitive to the way people treat you and overreact, you may face a wave of protests. You worry that you are making a mistake if you come across someone unhappy, and then you want to fix it. However, it's important to understand that just because someone isn't happy with you doesn't mean you've done something wrong. In many cases, it is because the person is unhappy with themselves and hopes you fill the void for them (which is not possible).
- Consider gaming rejection therapy to increase your chances of coping with rejection.
Stay close to positive people. You will develop more confidence in yourself and be happier if you play with people who treat you well.
- Stay away from negative people in life. They are the people who treat you badly or take all of their problems on you without mutual support.
Take care of your own physical health. Take the time to look after yourself, groom and dress for your best look. Keep clothes clean and dress properly. Remove old, unsuitable, torn, faded, etc. clothes
- Maintain good posture as this can help improve your mood.
Change treatment kind with everyone. Being nice to people you don't know can also make others feel good. Really listen to others, show random kindness, and find ways to make others laugh. You will feel better.
Smile. You will be amazed at how others react. You never know how other people go through a day and how a simple smile can effect someone.
Be creative. Get ready to create something new. Doing something new will be exciting. It's great if you own something that you have created yourself that never existed before! This enriches and nourishes the soul and you will find yourself interested in new things, inspiring a hobby instead of a superficial passion like money or fame.
Meet with a mental health counselor. If you find yourself too sensitive to the opinions of others, you can seek help from a counselor by talking to them. They can help you identify problems that are causing you to be overly emotional. They can also advise on strategies for dealing with negative people. advertisement
Part 2 of 4: Communicate assertively
Please speak up. When you feel that someone is rude or disrespectful to you, speak up. For example, if a person keeps making rude jokes, tell them how you feel. The person may not realize how hurt or aggressive they have been and how their comments affect you.
Use sentences that begin with "I". This type of sentence conveys that you are willing to take responsibility for your own thoughts and behavior. This places the emphasis on you and your feelings, so that the other person doesn't feel like you're attacking them. Non-violent communication can be an effective method.
- Sentences that do not begin with "I": "You are being very rude and you deliberately hurt me!"
- Sentences that begin with "I": "I feel hurt when you say such things."
- Sentences that do not begin with "I": "You are too much, so childish that you don't realize your friends haven't seen you for a long time!"
- Sentences that begin with "I": "I feel sad because we don't seem to go out together much anymore, and I want to see you more often."
Approach a calm conversation. Attacking others is not an effective method. Instead, stay calm and explain that you are trying to have a conversation. You want to say what you are feeling instead of confronting someone.
Use appropriate body language. When communicating assertively, you need to pay attention to how your body looks. Keep your voice calm and neutral. Maintain eye contact. Relax your face and posture.
Realize when you shouldn't continue. Most people will respond in a constructive way with a "I" sentence or a light, non-aggressive conversation. Some people may become frustrated, upset, so if the conversation doesn't work, then it's time to leave. You can try mentioning it again later, or simply stay away from the person.
Get to know people who are rude. They may use emotional abuse tactics, such as humiliating you, blaming you for everything, or neutralizing your emotions. You may feel scared, exhausted, uncomfortable, threatened, or feel bad about yourself around this person. If this is the case, this person very dangerous and you should cut contact immediately.
- If you are unsure about the situation, or if you have a situation (eg autism) that could affect your social judgment, seek counselor. Talk to someone you trust, and do some research online.
Part 3 of 4: Situation Review
Assess situation. Sometimes we think things are directed at us and blame ourselves for someone else's bad behavior. For example, a frustrated and emotional child might yell at you, "Mom / Dad ruined everything!" Just because someone chooses the wrong cake at this 12-year-old kid's party. It is important to assess the situation and understand teenage behavior that is most likely due to hormones, a change in life, or the child's inability to correct emotional responses. The real problem is not in choosing the cake or teaching the parents.
Avoid exaggerating. Sometimes we are serious because it is based on personal experience or personal judgment about people. This causes to exaggerate while not looking truthfully at the truth. Try to evaluate things from many angles.
- Don't rush to conclude everything.
- Do not tragic the situation. This is how you see things as the end of the world. Is it really that horrible?
- Avoid thinking that everything is "forever" and "never will" happen.
Ask for a clear explanation. If you hear a rude comment from someone, ask that person to clearly explain what they mean. They may have misinterpreted what they meant, and you may have misinterpreted.
- "Can you explain what you just said? I don't understand what you said."
- "I don't really understand what you're talking about. Can you repeat it?"
Do not accuse others of suspicion. If you have a habit of taking things seriously, then you are assuming someone is being aggressive with you when they may be just joking or because they have a bad day.It may be an instinctive emotional response, but hold back for a second. They may not be targeting you on purpose.
- Remember a bad day you had before. Would the other party have such a bad day today?
- Realize that they may be taking it as a mistake. We all sometimes say things we regret later, and maybe this incident is also one of their regret.
Understand what you are sensitive about. Maybe you are sensitive to some things. For example, you feel really sensitive about clothes because your mom is always critical of what you wear when you were a kid.
- When you identify a sensitive issue, you can admit that you have mattered, thinking things are directed at you.
- It can also be effective if you let people know about an issue that you are sensitive to. "I want you not to joke around like I am like a witch. My nose and face are what bothers me so I feel frustrated."
Re-focus your attention. When you see things pointing at yourself, you direct your attention from what other people say or do to your feelings. Emotions intensify if you add them up. You may even find yourself repeating what you should have said to someone over and over, if possible. That is contemplation. There are strategies to help you stop ruminating on a problem. Some of the strategies include:
- Try mindfulness meditation. Live in the present. It takes you away from the point in time that made you think about the problem over and over again.
- Go for a walk. Get a change of scenery to distract your mind from the problem.
- Schedule a temporary restraint of worries. Allow yourself 20 minutes to rest without worrying about a problem. As 20 minutes pass, move on to something else.
Part 4 of 4: Understanding other people's motives
Pay attention to other people's feelings. Some people may react positively to certain situations or behave incorrectly after a bad day. In such a situation, their hostility will be towards anyone they meet, and the problem is not with you. There was nothing to be concerned about with such aggression.
- For example, a salesperson might be less cheerful, or she might treat you badly. Instead of thinking it's on you, remind yourself, "Maybe this person has just had a bad day and wants to go home. She probably has to deal with rude clients all the time. I don't. need to see if it's directed at you… ”You could even say something nice like,“ I hope you have a good evening ”, accompanied by a smile. She feels a little better, but even if you can't make any changes to her, know that you did what you could to improve the situation.
Look at how someone treats others. They may tease or insult everyone they meet. Some people show such antagonism. Ask myself:
- How does this person interact with others?
- Is this person acting like this on everyone?
- What is the opposite of their tone of speech?
Examine the person's side of insecurity. Do they feel threatened by you in some way? So, do not torment for who you are wonderful. Think about how you can help someone feel better about themselves.
- Give the person a compliment if possible, or ask if they have something to say.
Consider other people's emotional management skills. Remember that someone may have poor communication and emotional management skills. Some individuals do not know how to communicate effectively or how to express and manage emotions. This is important to remember as it helps you to become patient and empathic with the other person, similar to how you would with a child, when they are not yet able to adjust and express emotions.
- Imagine that there is an inner child acting, because that person doesn't know how to deal with a problem in a mature way. When you picture someone as a child learning to manipulate their behavior, it becomes easier to be patient and forgive them.
Recognize the person's situation. Some people lack or have a different set of social norms. Sometimes a person passing by you looks awkward or even a little rude when they don't mean to be. Some individuals act with certainty and lack awareness of how their behavior will be received. It is not cold or rude behavior directed at you.
- For example, someone is from a different culture and if that culture is cold, they will feel cold or distant.
- Others, such as those with autism, are at risk of not being able to perceive social cues or verbal variations. They may appear emotionless, or rude when they are not intentional.
- Some people may not realize their "joking" behavior is not well received by others.
Determine if criticism is constructive. Constructive criticism is a good idea to help you. It is not a criticism or criticism of your worth or dignity. To the critic, they explain some points you need to practice with. But sometimes we forget to mention other people's highlights. Constructive criticism needs to clearly and specifically point out ways to improve. It is the complete opposite of a non-constructive criticism and most likely just a negative comment that does not offer improvement.
- For example, imagine you've been working for the past few weeks preparing an important project for your boss. You tried to do your best and you feel good about the end result. You report your results and hope to receive a well-deserved compliment. But you get a list of points for improvement. You may feel frustrated, offended, or unrecognized. You may see the criticism as a criticism instead of your boss's effort to help you improve.
- Not constructive: “This article is sloppy and lacks references. The second topic is poor in content ”. (This comment doesn't show ways to improve.)
- Constructive: “The article needs to have more references and expand the idea for the second topic. Also, this post looks good ”.
- Extremely non-constructive: "This is a terrible article."
- It hurts you to hear non-constructive criticism. Consider your partner's skills in managing emotions and interacting with others.
Ask questions when you receive criticism. When you hear criticism, especially if it doesn't have constructive remarks, ask the other person what they mean. This shows them that you value their opinions and is a polite way to help them improve their skills in giving constructive criticism.
- For example, if your boss says, "This is a horrible post," you could respond by asking, "I want to hear details of what you don't like about the article. Let's work together to improve it ".
