Author:
John Stephens
Date Of Creation:
26 January 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
The occasional feeling of jealousy is completely natural, it can even become a motivation for us to strive. However, if you are often frustrated with jealousy when you see images of other people's costumes, jobs or cars on social media then perhaps this problem needs to be addressed. It's also possible that jealousy is causing you to gradually become paranoid and causing a lot of trouble between you and the person you love. This emotion is often not easy to overcome, but most of us must move forward with a sense of security and confidence. Overcome your jealousy, find a new goal, and perfect yourself. You can do it!
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Tame instant jealousy
Take a few deep breaths. Perhaps you saw your boyfriend talking to a strange girl, or just learned that your friend bought the right car you were dreaming of. Instead of getting jealous, try to calm down. Take a deep breath through your nose for 5 seconds, then slowly exhale through your mouth. Continue breathing until you feel calm again.
- If you want to fix a problem, do so only when you're calm. For example, if you see your boyfriend talking to a girl, calm down first, then approach him and greet both of you. Maybe the other girl is just a friend or is in the same class as him.
Stay away from social media. On social networks full of images of people sharing each other's moments in life that make people jealous. However, maybe the girl who posted pictures of her boyfriend's flowers all day long might be upset about the love story. People often only show off sparkling things to show themselves in a bright light, so stay away from social media when you're trying to control your jealousy.- If you can't help but stay on social media, unfollow or unsubscribe to people who make you feel jealous.
Avoid criticism or sarcasm. When a sense of jealousy arises, you may end up with curses or try to devalue the work of others. However, these reactions only show that you lack confidence and make others uncomfortable. Instead of having a negative attitude, praise them or don't comment.- For example, if one day your girlfriend talks about a new colleague, don't utter something like “Ah, is he that smart? Are you sure you want to go out with him? " Let your partner comfortably talk about everything without fear of your rude reaction.
Confess how you feel if the person is a loved one. If you have been implicitly jealous of your sibling, best friend or partner over the years, tell them. Saying what is contained in your heart will help you get rid of negative feelings and dispel the heavy atmosphere.- For example, you could say “This means, I know that there have been times a lot of time to be a little rough to you, but I'm sad that I failed the college entrance exam and you passed the valedictorian. I'm jealous because you have the life I dream of. I know this is not your fault. I wish I didn't have that feeling. ”
Focus on what you have in common and who you envy. Let go of your jealousy by looking at the similarities between you and that person. The less you have in common, the less reason you will be jealous!
- For example, maybe you envy your neighbor's house because they have a nice car. But keep in mind that both live in the same neighborhood, and perhaps both houses are similar. Maybe they both go to the same school and have mutual friends.
Method 2 of 3: Pay attention to the other aspects
- Identify the cause of your jealousy. Understanding why you are jealous / jealous can help you overcome this feeling. Is it because you have low self-esteem and insecurity? Have you ever been betrayed? Or are you setting unrealistic expectations in the relationship? Once you have identified the causes, think about how you can improve or remedy them.
- Keeping a daily journal can also help you find the source of the episode that caused you to develop jealousy.
- Specialized treatments can help with this process. A therapist will help you find the root of the problem and overcome it.
Praise others for their success. Jealousy won't get you closer to your goal. When you see someone achieving what you wanted, praise them. This action of yours shows respect and humility.
- For example, if your friend has a dream career, say “Hương, your job looks great. Looks like you often get bonuses and promotions too, right. You are so good! Give me some advice. ”
- Assuming your boyfriend has been more affectionate towards you recently, tell ah that you are very happy when he does.
Think about your strengths. Instead of paying attention to what others do, focus on yourself! Take a moment to list at least three of your strengths, from whether you're good at organizing and cooking to how hard you listen or work.
- Do something every day to your strengths to build your confidence, like cooking a delicious meal.
Make a list of all the good things you feel you are lucky to have. Every morning you wake up is a good thing. Every day remember and think about something for which you are grateful. This will reduce your jealousy because you appreciate what you have.
- Maybe you have a wonderful mom who loves and supports you, or you passed an entrance exam to a prestigious university and soon you will be at school to start fulfilling your dreams. Be grateful for all those good things!
Practice meditation daily. Meditation can help calm your mind and focus on the important things. Jealous thoughts can get on your mind, but you can dispel them somewhat by sitting quietly in an undisturbed place for at least 10 minutes each morning. During this time, focus only on breathing and body sensations.
- If you're new to meditation, you can download an app like Simple Habit or Calm.
Take the right to decide. Let's say you have a rich friend who often invites you to luxury restaurants or takes luxury trips. This can cause you to envy their money. Instead of letting jealousy control you, take back control! Choose the right restaurants, and if your budget doesn't allow, you can go out somewhere around the area instead of traveling long distances.
- You can say “Listen Bao, I like to eat at a five-star restaurant with you too, but frankly it's a bit expensive for me. If you still want my brothers to go to the restaurant once a week, would I prioritize the venue? Hope you understand me. "
Distract jealousy with everyday pleasures. You won't get that much jealousy when you go out and enjoy your life! Plan something every day to look forward to, such as watching a favorite show, enjoying a delicious ice cream or shopping. This life is very short, so you should enjoy it every day! advertisement
Method 3 of 3: Improve life
Set long-term and short-term goals. Turn feelings of jealousy into motivation to perfect yourself. Based on your dreams in life, you should take action steps to reach those dreams. Set goals that you can achieve in the next five days and goals for you to work on for the next five years.
- For example, maybe you are dreaming of getting a high-paying job. With your short-term goal, try to get an A in all subjects this term. Your long-term goal might be to find an instructor or find an internship that matches your major.
Find an enjoyable pastime. Maybe you are jealous because it seems that everyone around you has fun. Create your own pleasure! Plan a fun weekend outing with your lover, go to a theme park or take a walk on the beach. Do whatever makes yourself happy!
Take care of yourself. When you focus on your health, you will pay much less attention to other people's affairs. Build confidence by exercising at least three times per week. Eat healthy with a diet of fruits, vegetables, and lean meats. Make sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep each night.
- Remember to drink more water!
Stay with positive people. Maybe your jealousy stems from your associates with people who deliberately make you jealous. That's not good at all. Instead of playing with negative people, spend more time with kind, sincere, and gentle friends!
- Positive people are supportive, honest, kind, and willing to help you. Negative people often offend, retort, and squeeze your energy out.
Consider psychotherapy to overcome your jealousy. If jealousy keeps you from enjoying life, it may be time to seek outside help. There are trained therapists to help you overcome your feelings of jealousy or need. Remember, there is nothing wrong with seeking help! It will be much worse if you endure silently.
- Go online to find a local therapist. You can also get referrals from your doctor or insurance company.
