Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Narcissists (overly loving oneself) are the type of person that makes it difficult to communicate. Their thinking is limited in a way that prevents them from actually looking outside themselves, so the world of these people is also limited to themselves, while also excluding external factors. There are many situations that can cause someone to develop narcissism, and there are many types of narcissism, but there are also coping strategies you can practice to use when communicating with any narcissist. .

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Dealing with a Narcissist in the Long Term

1. 

   Learn to recognize a narcissist. Before you start making any comments, remember: a lot of people tend to be narcissists, but not necessarily narcissists. By knowing what makes a narcissist a person, it makes it easier to avoid them and how to deal with people who have been around you for a long time.
   • Narcissists lack empathy. This is an important criterion for defining someone as a narcissist, not simply being proud. A narcissist simply cannot understand the other person's point of view, and cannot sense what the other person is feeling, which means that whatever they do is just to help themselves.For example: someone at work receives a great promotion; instead of congratulating him, the narcissist will find a way to turn their attention to him, by explaining why they should be the one to receive the promotion, or simply by telling something great. great has ever happened to them.
   • A narcissist also has little or no insight into his actions. They need to be constantly admired and feel empowered to receive the best treatment and unconditional consent from everyone in their lives.
   • To see if you are dealing with a narcissist, ask yourself the following questions: Does the person you suspect behave as if the world revolves around them? Do they need to be praised before giving you their attention? If you disagree with them, will they try to harm you? Are your emotions being held back? Is your conversation and the person talking about themselves always? If the answer to any of the above questions is "yes" then you may be dealing with a narcissist.

2. 

   
   
   Realize what you need. If you are in need of someone who can support each other as well as give you understanding, then it is best to spend less time with your narcissist to spend more time with those who can bring you the best. what you need. On the other hand, if your narcissist has other interesting or exciting things, and you don't need outside support, then you can still maintain this friendship or relationship for the foreseeable future. .
   • Make sure you don't hurt yourself by being around your narcissist. This is especially true if you have a close relationship with them (such as a spouse or parent), because such people will take up more of your time.
   • If you find yourself exhausted by their needs (they need constant recognition of themselves, the praise, attention, and constant patience of others), then you need to review your relationship. that relationship. If you are being harassed by them (manipulated, constantly raised by them, treated like you have no value) then you need to leave immediately because they will endanger your health. friend.

3. 

   
   
   Accept their limitations. If this person is really important to you, you will have to accept that person's narcissism. Stop asking for or asking for support and attention that the narcissist can't give you. Doing so will do nothing but make you feel more frustrated and frustrated, which will only contribute to further ruining your relationship.
   • For example, if you know your friend Quang is a narcissist, don't keep trying to tell him about your troubles, because he simply can't sympathize with you and will quickly. turn the story towards himself.

4. 

   
   
   Valuing yourself in another way. Ideally, self-worth is built from within rather than relying on outside help, but for many people, self-worth is enhanced when being affirmed by others. Their existence by appreciating them personally. Don't go to narcissists for this kind of help, but they won't be able to give you what they don't have after all.
   • You have to understand that even if you confide in a narcissist only, they won't be able to appreciate the value of what you share. In fact, they may use what you say to manipulate you, so be careful what you tell a narcissist.
   • Remember the narcissist's motto "I am first." When you interact with them, you will have to act according to their motto.

5. 

   Try to be selfless. This may be easier said than done, but remember: while one might assume that all a narcissist demonstrates is self-confidence, inwardly, they seriously lack true confidence, so they need constant recognition by others to fill in the gaps they lack. Furthermore, narcissists do not have a normal life because they have lost many kinds of emotions.
   • This doesn't mean letting them do whatever they want with you, it means that you need to remember that the narcissist is just someone who has been transformed into someone who can't connect with anyone. This is often the case because narcissistic mothers and fathers make their children like that.
   • Also remember that narcissists do not understand unconditional love. Everything they do is aimed at how to best serve them, which is a terribly lonely way of life.
   • This can help you gain sympathy for them if you can remember that the negative behaviors are projections of their hatred and lack of confidence.
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Part 2 of 3: Dealing with a Narcissist in the Short Term

1. 

   Avoid mind games. A lot of narcissists play tricky games to force you to stay passive and that makes them elevate their positions. The best way to deal with games like that is to recognize it and stop. To deal with a narcissist, you must keep your self-esteem from being provoked.
   • Get out of playing the "blame game". A narcissist clearly cannot accept that he has done anything wrong, meaning that they need someone to blame. At some point, that person will be a friend. Instead of trying to argue, or explain it was their fault, or obsess over it, you have to set a line. You have to write down what they are doing, then you can tell them (in a non-reproachful tone), for example “Hey bar, this is the data in the inventory, it shows we need more paper here ”.
   • Narcissists tend to lie very well. If you remember something that is not what they remember (especially if it could harm them), don't cause yourself trouble. Don't argue with them, unless you have absolutely accurate evidence to prove you are right. Even then, a narcissist will find a way to turn things around for his benefit.
   • The most important thing to remember is to develop an indifferent attitude toward them. If you have a narcissist around you, you will endure teasing, humility, and lies. Don't react. It's like a game of pitching, you just don't have to catch the ball and throw it back. In fact, let the ball (insults, mind games, etc.) drift into the past.

2. 

   Don't expect anything from pleasing your narcissist. Because they have such a large ego and only think too well of themselves, they may see you as some sort of person who is somehow inferior to them. You may be able to please them for a while, but never expect to be able to please or impress a narcissist in the long run.
   • Be prepared to be the killer in their eyes, usually. You will never be able to live the way they want, who always give them full attention.
   • Try to ignore their criticism by reminding yourself that the words come from someone with a narrow and unbalanced worldview. Likewise, don't try to argue with your narcissists about your worth because they can't listen to and understand you.
   • If they constantly look down on you (whether it's your spouse, parents, or boss) find someone you trust to talk about what they say about you (a close friend or private person). psychological problems etc ...). If possible, stay away from narcissists for space to restore your feelings.

3. 

   
   
   Have to listen a lot. If you have to bond with a narcissist, the best way to deal with them is simply to listen. The narcissist will demand your attention and your ears, and more likely they'll be angry or cold at you if you take it lightly. Of course everything has a limit, if the narcissist demands your attention when you can't, then you shouldn't pay attention to them either.If you are determined to be friends or have a long term relationship with your narcissist, you should be prepared to listen honestly with those people.
   • If you find yourself distracted when you hear them speak, ask them to say more about something they said earlier that you remember, then find a way back to the story. For example you could say “I was thinking about what you said about X so I didn't notice what you just said. Can you repeat it? "

4. 

   
   
   Be sincere in your compliments for the narcissist. Chances are they will have a trait you admire. Build your compliments on that quality. Compliments will seem more sincere, but still be loved by the person. And that will be a constant reminder of why you keep the person in your life.
   • For example, if your narcissist is a really good writer, be sure to tell them that. Say things like "You write very coherently, I like the way you express your ideas so clearly." They will recognize your sincerity and will be less likely to attack you.
   • If you really want to be loved by them, you can say things like "English writing is much better than me, I can never express myself so clearly". Putting them in a position facing you (and the world) will make them feel better about themselves. But don't do it until you believe they can do better than you do.
   • Praise them often for the things they are most proud of. Narcissists need more recognition and attention from others than most people. They will immerse themselves in compliments and then evaluate your relationship with you. However, they still have the ability to find ways to play badly or control you, due to their inherent insecurity. Those ways can be very subtle and complex, so stay alert.

5. 

   
   
   Smile and nod. If your narcissist is someone you can't avoid, and you feel like you can't stand complimenting them as often as they want, then your next best option is to keep quiet. . You will not receive love from your narcissist by being silent, but without being opposed to them you have indirectly created the impression: silence is consent.
   • Because narcissists require constant attention, smiling and nodding is a good way to give them what they want without having to force yourself to continue talking. This method is especially good when you interact with narcissists who are not too close to you in life (like a co-worker or social friend).

6. 

   Convince the narcissist that what you want is in their favor. If you need something from the narcissist, the best way to get it is to transform your request into a hint to that person that he or she will get some benefit by doing so.
   • For example, if you want to persuade your best friend to go with a new restaurant, and her narcissism revolves around issues of social status, tell her something about it. it, for example: "I heard that counting is best if you want to interact with influential people in the community."
   • As another example, if you want to ask your best friend to go see an exhibition, and his narcissism revolves around his wits, you could say something like "They say that place. especially attractive to smart and quick-witted people. "

7. 

   Gently criticize. Narcissists will never accept blatant criticism. They may immediately accuse you of being jealous or simply mean, and will lower the value of your opinion. Never insult them, even though you may want to. Transform everything to make the narcissist feel like they still have the upper hand.
   • For example, if you want to remind a narcissist to pay you, gently remind them personally by asking them to remind you of a deadline instead of telling them about the payment deadline. payment delays.
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Part 3 of 3: Introducing an Intervention

1. 

   Consider an intervention. Sometimes, especially when the narcissist is someone you love (an important person, your parent, or your baby), you may want to consider offering an intervention. This can be very difficult, because it can be difficult to convince a narcissist that they are wrong.
   • The best time to initiate an intervention is after a major event in the narcissist's life (like an illness, job loss etc.) when the things that nurture their ego are destroyed. or disappear.

2. 

   Seek the help of an expert. You will need a neutral and experienced group of people who are needed to deal with the emotions and conflicts that occur during the intervention. They also help you plan and predict the direction of the intervention.
   • A specialist can discuss with you a variety of therapies you might try to persuade your narcissist to practice. Individual psychotherapy or group psychotherapy have their own advantages and have been shown to help narcissists adjust their personality and develop the ability to see others as fish. people are as important as them.
   • Look around where you live and ask someone you trust if they can recommend anyone. Make sure you find the right people to do this.

3. 

   
   
   Recruit about 4 or 5 people. These people must be people that are close to the narcissist in some way or someone who has been hurt by the narcissist but willing to help them find what they need.
   • Make sure these people won't inform the narcissist in advance of the intervention and won't tell everyone what's going on.

4. 

   Planning intervention. You can't do this in any way or go there. You need to plan what you will say and do when and where. At this point, the expert can help you plan some of the things you would like to do during the intervention.
   • You need to build a few perspectives. These are the main points that you must stick to during the intervention. These could be things like: how the narcissist's problems are hurting the family (giving specific examples) and why you engaged in the intervention (they've become too worth, or have stopped contributing to the family; and again, specific examples).
   • You will need to have some consequences for the person's actions if they intend to refuse the intervention. It could be the end of the relationship, or maybe not participating in activities that are important to the narcissist. This will help you create a leverage that will make them change.

5. 

   
   
   Show the narcissist how much they are hurting themselves. It is important that you use your altruism during the intervention because you need to keep reminding yourself that the reason you are doing this is to give them a better chance.
   • Use affirmations that begin with the subject "I". For example: “I feel disrespected when you keep changing the topic of yourself every time we talk.” Or “I feel like you want me to keep supporting you but you don't have any problems. Good response. " And again give examples of the times they hurt you.
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Advice

• You cannot win an argument with this type of person, even if you win… you will lose in the end. The best advice is to keep the conversation as clear and short as possible.

Warning

• It is important to be aware of your psychological health when you are in contact with a narcissist. If your quality of life is declining for them, you need to stay away even if it's your parent, spouse, or boss.
• Remember, if you're going to do an intervention, that doesn't mean the narcissist will do what you want them to do to get better.Likewise, treatment for narcissists is not always effective. Be ready for any outcome.