Content

• Steps
• Advice

A difficult mother-in-law can be a real problem for many bridesmaids. Mother-in-law can interfere with the way you raise your children, making you uncomfortable at home and sometimes even breaking your relationship. Usually, the majority of fastidious mother-in-law is due to psychological fear and insecurity, so try not to let the belly and deduce subjectively. To deal with a difficult mother-in-law, it is a good idea to talk to her husband to find solutions together. When the couple has agreed on a coping strategy, consistently show that you are taking the problem seriously and deserve respect.

Steps

Method 1 of 5: bonding with her husband

1. 

   Talk to your husband to see if mom is always this difficult. If your mother-in-law is critical, harsh, or contentious, just find ways to limit it and deal with it. If your new mother has become so difficult and is solely aimed at you, it may be due to some underlying cause that needs to be addressed. Talk to your husband to get to know her mother-in-law better.
   • If you feel anxious about this, you can say: “I want to talk to you about how she treats me, I don't want to argue but just want to discuss how we are. to solve this problem ”.

   Advice: You will have a better chance of success if you work on this issue with your husband. Your husband and mother-in-law will share many of the same views, and if you behave incorrectly with your mother-in-law, chances are your relationship will break.

   
   

2. 

   Ask your husband to stand with you or talk to your mother if it's all for you alone. The fact that both husband and wife speak up will make the mother-in-law realize that their behavior is unacceptable. If your husband is the one to speak up about this first, it means that both of you are noticing that things are wrong. Ask your husband to talk to his mother privately to see if he can find the root cause of the problem. If he doesn't want to get in the way between you and your mother-in-law, ask him to at least stand up for you when she's overdoing it.
   • Ask your husband about a private conversation between your husband and his mother and you may find out the cause of the problem.
   • You can tell him, “I really think it'll be easier for you to talk to her. If you talk to her first and find out why she treats me like that, then I will be able to sit back and talk to her much easier ”.

3. 

   
   
   Together with her husband agree on how to solve the problem. Do not rush to talk or argue with your mother-in-law without consulting your husband first. If you act or argue without reaching agreement with your husband, it is likely that it will upset him. To get the best chance of success, discuss with your husband whether you should fight, correct or avoid this problem together.
   • Even if you want to resolve the problem by talking to your mother-in-law privately, you should still talk to your husband first. He might give you advice or some tips on how to talk to her, and you should also let him know in advance as she may talk to him after talking to you.
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Method 2 of 5: Dealing with imposing mother-in-law

1. 

   
   
   Avoid solving the problem by talking in private. The mother-in-law's imposition is sometimes derived from the desire to take care of her child. If you bring up this issue when you are not around, your mother-in-law will automatically assume you are betraying your husband's trust and not giving them thought.
   • Your mother-in-law may also be distrustful of your decision, so talking with your mother-in-law alone can be counterproductive and lead to controversy.

2. 

   Explain why you did not follow your mother-in-law's request. If your mother-in-law makes a lot of requests, calmly explain why you haven't done so to avoid making her feel intentionally provoked. If you ignore these requests, she will most likely act more tense. By explaining, you will not only show that you are willing to stand up for your point of view, but you will also be able to point out things your mother-in-law hasn't thought of and get her to agree with you.
   • For example, if your mother-in-law thinks you don't appreciate your husband, calmly explain, “I always show my love for my husband in private, not in front of her. I don't want to be disrespectful to my mother when I show my feelings for him ”.
   • If your mother-in-law keeps asking about when you will give birth to your grandmother, you can say that you have considered this and want to slowly give your baby the best life possible. Say, "We'll wait until we save enough money so that we can provide you with a good life and the brightest future."

3. 

   Discuss important issues when the mother-in-law is not present. If your mother-in-law often interferes with the couple's important decisions, wait until she is away or go to another room to discuss these matters so she cannot interfere.
   • “We can talk about this later” is a simple way to divert conversations you don't want to talk about in front of your mother-in-law.

   Advice: Agree on a cue with your husband to let him know when you need to talk privately, perhaps as a simple act of tugging on your ear or saying an innocuous phrase like “We need to go buy some more. sundry Doing so will not upset the mother-in-law with knowing that the two of you want to have a private conversation without her.

4. 

   Show that you value your husband in front of your mother-in-law. If you are constantly criticized by your mother-in-law, try to show respect and affection for your husband in her presence. Maybe your mother-in-law is more comfortable feeling that she and you both have a common goal of making her son happy.
   • Saying something simple like: “Thank you for coming to pick up the kids today. You are the most thoughtful husband! " is an easy way for you to score points in front of your mother-in-law.
   • This can be very helpful if your mother-in-law is dissatisfied with your fidelity and affection for her husband. Showing that you care deeply about her son will make her more comfortable and less interfering with the couple.
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Method 3 of 5: Dealing with your mother-in-law often arguing or criticizing

1. 

   Talk to your mother-in-law to find out the cause of the problem. You can invite your mother-in-law to have coffee or lunch and explain that you don't want your mother-in-law to separate and respect her very much. Calmly let your mother-in-law know that you feel she and you are arguing too much and don't know what to do to improve this. The answer may not be as expected, but you will better understand the cause of the problem.
   • If your mother-in-law completely denies arguing with you, chances are she is unaware of her actions and is not deliberately critical of you. If that is the case, you do not need to discuss further, but pay attention to whether the behavior of the mother-in-law has changed after mentioning this issue.
   • If your mother-in-law just says you don't like you and you won't change it, show that you're a worthy partner for her son by avoiding arguing with your mother-in-law and accepting disagreement. point.

   Advice: Maybe this problem is not because of you but the mother-in-law is just angry at cutting the cutting board because of the conflict with your father-in-law or the unfavorable work. If that is the case, be willing to help if needed, and your mother-in-law may not put things on your head anymore.

2. 

   Ask your husband to talk to your mother-in-law if you don't open up. If you can't bring up the issue without the war, ask your husband to talk to your mother. Ask him to help her calm down and open up more because she might not be comfortable talking to you about your inner problems.
   • If your mother-in-law's way of talking is not constructive, don't argue with her. Maybe she is trying to fight and it will become a bad habit if you let her get exactly what she wants.

3. 

   Stand up for a fight when your mother-in-law criticizes you openly. If your mother-in-law criticizes you in front of your husband or children, be bold to show that you won't let her treat you unfairly. In a tone that is both resolute and respectful, point out that she is misbehaving and focus on her behavior instead of the issue she criticizes.
   • For example, if your mother-in-law criticizes you, “I really don't know how to clean and organize. How can you be so messy? ”, Reply:“ Mom, I don't know why you think I should humiliate me in front of my husband, but that's not acceptable. Mom should stop it. "
   • Say she can talk to you about the problem somewhere else at another time. You can say, "Mom and I can seriously talk to each other about this, but now I don't want to sit here and argue with me when there are guests in the house."

4. 

   Know when to get up to prove that mother-in-law is the one causing the problem. If your mother-in-law tries to argue with you in front of guests about stupid or trivial matters, let her speak and respond briefly. She will show everyone you are an angry person while you show yourself as calm and composed. This can also help your mother-in-law calm down when she sees you not responding.
   • This is especially wise when your husband refuses to believe that she is a problematic person.
   • When your mother-in-law says things like, "I didn't expect you to not register the kids for the summer camp, how can you be so indifferent to them?", You might reply, "Mom tell me to be careless with the children, can you tell me more clearly? " and let her continue talking. Other people will see that you are a reasonable, willing to listen to others' suggestions, and your mother-in-law will be like a child who likes to reason.
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Method 4 of 5: Dealing with old-fashioned mother-in-law

1. 

   Speak privately to determine the cause of the problem. You can invite your mother-in-law to have coffee or lunch and bring up the issue while you are sitting together. Start by explaining that you are not angry or sad but just want to know why she has always been so difficult. Maybe there is a reason for your mother-in-law and discussing the problem cooperatively will make it easier for you to find a solution.
   • Start the conversation by talking about you. Say, "I want to sit with my mom and talk about a problem that has made me very sad lately." This shows that the person at fault here is you, not your mother-in-law, and it will help you avoid the risk of an argument.

   Advice: If your mother-in-law is prejudiced about your culture or religion, try to stay calm. Say, "I respect your beliefs and thoughts and I think you should respect me too."

2. 

   Take criticism as advice and gentle responses. If your mother-in-law criticizes your style or beliefs, take it as a cue, not a purposeful criticism. The level of criticism will be somewhat reduced when you simply take it as a matter of opinion. This will also make the conversation between you and your mother-in-law less stressful.
   • "I think I'll have to think more about this", "My point of view is really worth thinking about" and "I know why you have such a view, please let me think more" are There are several ways in which you can respond and stop arguing about something.

3. 

   Express your views and set boundaries when your mother-in-law is overdoing it. If your mother-in-law criticizes or comments on a religious, cultural, political, or class issue, set boundaries and express your point clearly. Your steadfast showing that you don't accept such opinions will cause your mother-in-law to confront and defend your thoughts. If she doesn't want to do that, usually, then your mother-in-law won't bring up those sensitive issues either.
   • Keep an attitude that is both resolute and respectful. For example, if your mother-in-law asks you to go to the temple, say, “I have no opinion on my religious beliefs and I have no right to criticize my religion. I will not accept that you impose me like that, so from now on, don't mention this. ”
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Method 5 of 5: Solve parenting issues

1. 

   Ask for parenting advice even if you are not planning to adopt them. Your mother-in-law is also more or less experienced in raising children, so she might overdo it if she feels disrespectful because you ignore her or don't need her advice. Check with your mother-in-law on how to teach your child how to swim or teach preschool children. Even if you don't follow the advice of your mother-in-law, it will make her more comfortable thinking that your opinion matters.

   Advice: Give in to mother-in-law a few small things! If she says it costs more to drink ginger beer than tea with a runny nose, be patient and give the children a drink of ginger beer. This will make it easier to cope when you need to make important decisions.

2. 

   Find ways to agree with the opinions of her mother-in-law, even if she is difficult. Opinions like, "You have to send your kids to go to international school" can quickly be compromised with simple responses like: "You and your wife will consider this!" or "Education for the children is very important, husband and wife will discuss more!". When you make the opinion of your mother-in-law seem like nothing, you reduce the risk of an argument.
   • If your mother-in-law says something that you agree on, emphasize it. For example, when she compliments, "The children grow up so fast", you can respond simply as: "Yes, they do grow up really fast!"

3. 

   Reduced requests for asking grandmothers to look after grandchildren Your mother-in-law will probably feel overly directed if you give her a long list of requirements and guidance to take care of grandchildren. Your mother-in-law did a good job of raising your husband as a human, so try to trust her. You must be very concerned about handing over your baby to someone else when they are too young, but giving too many requests to care for the grandchildren will make your mother-in-law feel disrespectful. advertisement

Advice

• If all of the above methods have not worked and your mother-in-law becomes out of control, you can try to reside in a separate place so that you will be less likely to interfere with your life.
• If your husband does not support you and is on your side then that is the bigger problem that you and your husband need to solve. Consider seeking out a family marriage psychologist to fix this problem.
• If you always show your face but are dissatisfied with your mother-in-law, stop immediately. Maybe your mother-in-law really doesn't understand and thinks you two are so close that it's okay to be criticizing or rude.