Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

All passions fade over time, the question is whether you know how to warm up your relationship or not. If your sex life has been too bland lately, warm up by stimulating sex drive in everyday life and while practicing foreplay. Also, act more spontaneously with your partner to make the relationship more attractive. You should also be more adventurous in sex.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Generate excitement and anticipation

1. 

   Send flirting or seduction messages. Exchange spoiled messages with each other will increase libido between you and your partner. Send him / her a text telling him / her what you want to do with them when you meet with a bad picture of you. Also, stick a piece of erotic text in a place where they'll find it.
   • You can text something like, “I'm wearing your favorite pair of shorts. Can you help me take it off? "
   • Stick a love text on the mirror, on the bedside table, on the driver's wheel, or in the briefcase. You can write something like, "I hope to see you tonight", or "I have a surprise for you".

2. 

   
   
   Oral sex with your lover in everyday life. Sexual assault is not just for the bedroom. Make it a habit to whisper bad things to your crush or incorporate sexual implications in everyday communication. This will help both of you think about sex more to increase your feelings of anticipation.
   • Say something like "Look at the pants that make me want to hit your ass", or "Hello spoiled girl".

3. 

   
   
   Reveal your sexual fantasies. Everyone has sexual fantasies, so open up to your partner about what you want and ask him / her to share their fantasies. Then, the two of you will discuss ways to incorporate your fantasies into your sex life to help you both be more satisfied.
   • You could say, “I've always wanted to be tied up during sex. What about you?" or "I want to be a pirate and want to usurp you".
   • Don't force him / her to follow your imagination. Likewise, don't force yourself to act in a way you don't like. Try to find fantasies that you both like, and don't make fun of each other about the differences.

4. 

   
   
   Dating weekly with lover. Planned romantic dates can help build intimacy and warm your relationship. Take turns planning dates to experience new things and create unforgettable memories. During a date, talk and show your affection so that both of you are looking forward to what happens in the bedroom.
   • For example, having dinner together in a romantic setting, walking under the sunset sky, and hugging each other while watching a movie.
   • Cooking dinner together is a popular choice, and playing with food to flirt.
   • Go camping in the park or on the beach.
   • Go to sports events or concerts.
   • Do something that requires exercise or adventure, like climbing a mountain or swinging a ropes. If in winter, the two of you can play ice skating.

5. 

   Prepare for a romantic mood. Lust is somewhat related to your mood, so it's important to be prepared. When you want to have sex, try to create a romantic space to make you both look forward to sex more. Here are a few ways to create a lustful mood:
   • Light the candles and let them dim.
   • Use colored lights like red round bulbs.
   • Opening music to create a captivating atmosphere like the music of Marvin Gaye, Al Green or Usher.
   • Spread rose petals around the room.

6. 

   First time to increase excitement. Passion is a physical and mental experience, and foreplay will help you both prepare yourself for sex. In fact, foreplay is the key to a healthy sex life. Cuddle, cuddle, and kiss when you're together to increase intimacy. When you're ready to have sex, stroke and massage him / her. This step will increase your eagerness before having sex.
   • Try kissing along the neck, chest, arms and body of your partner.
   • Slowly undress each other.
   • Incorporate a foreplay into your daily routine to keep your excitement going. For example, squeeze your lover's butt as you walk past her in the kitchen, or stroke her skin while you're watching a movie together.

   

   Elvina Lui, MFT

   Elvina Lui marriage and family therapist is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in relationship counseling. She received her Master's Degree in Consulting from Western Seminary in 2007 and has been MFT certified for over 7 years.

   

   Elvina Lui, MFT
   Marriage and family therapist

   Take care to avoid sex that only makes your partner satisfied but not you. If this is the case, you should combine activities that help you to satisfy. This isn't just limited to sexual behavior for orgasm, I mean more cuddling and talking, more cuddling, or any combination of actions to increase bonding.

Method 2 of 3: Spontaneous action

1. 

   Surprise your partner with new things. A daily routine can make your relationship unattractive, and create a boring path in the bedroom. Try doing new things in life that can help you break this rut ​​and restore intimacy. Get involved in new and exciting activities together, or surprise them with something special. Here are some ideas for you:
   • Going to eat at a new restaurant.
   • Do something special one night of the week instead of just staying at home.
   • Secretly planning to go to dinner outside, watch movies, watch plays or music shows.
   • Book a hotel room for an emotional evening.

2. 

   Give your partner a small gift that shows you care. Choose a meaningful gift or buy flowers, chocolates or women's underwear. Give gifts directly to your partner or send them to their workplace to surprise them. Your partner will feel special and it will be an emotional moment between you two.
   • You can choose something sweet like the cake they love, or something spoiled like handcuffs or an eyepatch (used as a sex toy). Use your creativity!

3. 

   Organize a romantic tour. Spend quality time with your partner - it's an essential part of a loving relationship. You two need to spend time together to warm up the relationship. Take a short trip with just your lover. Leave your worries behind and focus on warming up the love, playing together.
   • If your budget is comfortable, you can organize a fancy trip, like a weekend stay in a house by the lake, or rent a honeymoon room in a hotel.
   • If you don't have a lot of money, host a spoiled camping trip or swap houses with another couple over the weekend.

4. 

   Take a fast train when you have a chance to be alone. Random sex is very interesting, so you two should find opportunities to have sex quickly. Take advantage of the times you two are alone without having to worry about what to do to enjoy intimate moments together.
   • For example, you could take a quick train before going to work or during lunch.
   • Don't worry about having to undress as it is more fun to have sex without undressing. Take off just enough to have sex and enjoy the perversion of your partner.

5. 

   Take a day off work to pursue what your intuition tells you. Set a day for the two of you to be off work and free of work. Get all the work done and don't worry about planning. Then do the first thing that comes to your mind. Challenge yourself to spend the rest of the day doing what you enjoy.
   • You can do things like feed ducks at the park, do water gun fights, rearrange your house, or learn to make espresso. It doesn't matter what you do! The problem is that the two of you will stay together and do different things every day.

Method 3 of 3: Adventure in sex life

1. 

   Buy lots of erotic underwear. Clothing can make a sex life more attractive. Choose underwear that you think your partner will find attractive. Then apply different ways to incorporate undergarments into your sex life. Here are some ideas:
   • Surprise your spouse when they come home.
   • Wear erotic undergarments below to let your spouse know that you enjoy flirting too.
   • Wear erotic underwear that evokes the bed.
   • Dress up sexy in a way that the person loves you.
   • Take a photo of yourself in your underwear to send to your lover.

2. 

   Play around in a new space outside your bedroom. The bedroom is usually the best place to flirt with each other, but you can get bored with it. Try making love outside of your bedroom for a new experience. This will make your sex life happier and more adventurous. Try one of the following:
   • Relations on the table in the living room.
   • Outdoor sex if the yard is surrounded by a fence.
   • Park the car in a deserted place and pretend you are high school students.

3. 

   Use sex toys. Sex toys can increase the pleasure of both you and your partner. Shop for sex toys that you both enjoy, then use them during foreplay or during sex. You can try the following:
   • Handcuffs, ropes, masking tape.
   • Blindfold each other while performing foreplay.
   • Use a mouth rag and whip if you like.
   • Use a dildo to increase pleasure.
   • Try the anal buttons if you are interested.

   

   Elvina Lui, MFT

   Elvina Lui marriage and family therapist is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in relationship counseling. She received her Master's Degree in Consulting from Western Seminary in 2007 and has been MFT certified for over 7 years.

   

   Elvina Lui, MFT
   Marriage and family therapist

   It doesn't matter what you use, as long as they can help you and your partner enjoy pleasure. You can explore oral sex, manual stimulation, and use vibrators. This may or may not matter to either of you, that's why you need to have an open and cooperative conversation.

4. 

   Role play in a erotic script. Follow up with a script that resembles your sexual fantasies to make both of you more interested. Choose characters or scripts that you both like, and act out the erotic situation to get both of you excited. Try the following popular scenarios if you don't know where to start:
   • Doctor and patient.
   • Police and robbers.
   • The maid and the host.
   • The pizza delivery guy and the landlord.

   Advice: Wear the right clothes for your role to make it feel more attractive. For example, wear a white blouse over erotic undergarments if you are a doctor.

5. 

   Incorporate food into sexual activity. Use foods to spice up the sex experience, like desserts, lotions, and even edible clothing accessories. You can even target well-known sexually explicit foods like oysters and chocolates. Use food as a sex toy by feeding each other or rubbing it on your body and licking it.
   • Sprinkle chocolate or whipped cream over body and lick them clean.
   • Feeding grapes or strawberries.
   • Use an edible lotion or underwear, or apply butter cream to the body to add more appeal to oral sex.

6. 

   Watching adult movies together. Some people find adult movies interesting and also help generate new ideas. You can watch adult movies for free on sites like PornHub. Take turns choosing the movie you think you will like.
   • For example, watch a script video that you both enjoy, like the delivery guy and the landlord in a depressed mood.
   • Respect your lover if they don't like adult movies. If they don't like it, porn can harm the relationship.

7. 

   Play sex games. The sex game is so fun because it pushes you out of your comfort zone and makes you eagerly await what's going to happen. Choose a game you both enjoy. Here are some ideas:
   • Drop the dice: Buy two sex dice or assign a meaning to each side of a regular die. Then drop the dice to see what you have to do for your lover. For example, 1 for kissing, 2 for nipple licking, 3 for licking the genitals, 4 for tying up your partner, 5 for licking cream from their body, and 6 for patting their ass.
   • Play hide and seek with candy: Take turns playing hide and seek with small candies. For example, blindfold your partner and ask them to use their mouths to find 3 candies hidden on your body.
   • Play undress poker: Take off every piece of clothing every time you lose. The loser will have to actively have sex.

8. 

   Explore slightly sexually distorted behaviors if you want to try. Basically, the two of you will play in the bedroom to stimulate each other's desire. If you like, try tying together as slaves, blindfolded or whipped. Find and buy essential items, then decide how to use them in the bedroom. In addition, the two of you need to prescribe a safety word to signal stop.
   • For example, you will blindfold your lover and lead you to another place.Next, you can have them sit in a chair and touch their skin with different objects, like ice cubes, fork heads, and warm candle wax.

Advice

• Always listen to your partner's needs, concerns, or wants.
• Always communicate openly and honestly with your partner.
• Take the risk and get out of your comfort zone a little.
• Respect the limits set by your partner.
• If you are considering sex products like sex pills, creams or fragrances, do some research about safety and effectiveness.

Warning

• Don't force your partner to do something they don't like.