Content

• Steps
• Advice

Chronic pain is pain for three months or more after an injury or treatment. Acute pain is the nervous system's natural response to injury. However, in chronic pain the pain signals persist abnormally. This condition causes pain and exhaustion in the patient. In some cases of chronic pain, trauma, disease, or infection is the primary cause of pain. In some others, however, chronic pain came and went without a history. To understand someone with chronic pain, you should learn about chronic pain, have a supportive attitude, and know what to and should not say.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Learning about chronic pain

1. 

   
   
   Learn more about the patient's pain. The pain feeling of each patient is different. It helps if the sick person talks about their illness and their daily struggles with pain. The more you know about what the patient is going through, the more you will be able to understand their feelings.
   • Did they have a backslash, have a serious infection, or have another cause of pain like arthritis, diabetic neurological complications or some other form of nerve damage? Be aware of when the pain started and look for or read stories of people who have similar problems.
   • Sometimes doctors fail to discover the cause of the pain. Only know that the patient is in pain.
   • Do not force chronic pain patients to talk about anything they don't want. For some people, talking about the problem only makes them feel worse.
   • Pain that commonly occurs in people with chronic pain includes headache, low back pain, joint pain, pain from damage to the peripheral nerves or central nervous system, or unexplained pain.
   • A patient may have more than one pain disorder at the same time, such as chronic fatigue syndrome, endometriosis, sciatica, peripheral nerve, inflammatory bowel disease, or depression.
   • Understand that words are not enough to describe the pain the person is experiencing. Recall when you have a lot of pain and imagine it being hurt 24 hours a day and it hurts every day for the rest of your life. It is difficult to find words to describe such pain.

2. 

   
   
   Learn about pain scales. Numerical pain scales are used so doctors can check the effectiveness of treatment. The range 1 to 10 describes the degree of pain, of which 1 is "no pain at all, very comfortable" and 10 is "the worst feeling of pain". Ask them how much pain they are on the scale.
   • Don't assume that the sick person is in no pain when they say they are okay. Many people try to hide the pain due to the lack of sympathy from those around them.
   • When asked about pain levels, people with chronic pain may not be able to say how much pain they really are. Due to chronic pain, they are used to a certain degree of pain and can accept that it is normal or painless. They can only show the true pain level when the acute type of pain occurs, when the "normal" pain level they live with every day changes. This time they will experience different pain (eg, “stabbing pain” instead of “aching”, “burning” instead of “throbbing”), or when asked directly about the severity of the acute pain. and chronic.

3. 

   
   
   Recognize coping mechanisms. When you have a cold, you may feel miserable for a few days or weeks but still do your best to stay active. Chronic pain sufferers suffer a terrible feeling for a long time. They may have adopted a coping mechanism that covers the actual pain level, or they don't have the energy to function properly.

4. 

   Watch for symptoms of depression. Chronic pain can cause secondary depression (would you be sad and depressed if the pain continued to be painful for months or years?). Depression can be caused by chronic pain, and chronic pain can come from depression.
   • Depression can cause some people to show little emotion, so the pain is hidden because the person is repressed from it. Always be on the lookout for signs of depression, and don't mistake the patient for relief from pain.
   • Depression can also cause people to show more emotions (crying and tearing, anxiety, irritability, sadness, loneliness, despair, fear of the future, agitation, anger, frustration, talking too much as a result of medication / need for relief / lack of sleep). This phenomenon, as well as their pain level, can vary from day to day, hour by hour or minute.
   • Ignoring the person with chronic pain is one of the worst, as this gives them more reason to be depressed, lonely and lacking optimism. Try to be by their side and show your support.

5. 

   Respect physical limitations. With some diseases, people will show obvious signs of polio or fracture. However, with chronic pain, you may not know how much of a motor they are capable of at any given time. You can't always guess this from their facial expressions or body language.
   • The person may not know how they feel each morning. They only know every day when that day comes. This can be confusing for others, but very uncomfortable for the sick person.
   • Just because a person can stand up for 10 minutes does not mean they can stand for 20 minutes or an hour. Not that the patient trying to stand for 30 minutes today does not mean that they will be able to do the same tomorrow.
   • Movement is not the only limitation that people with chronic pain have. Their ability to sit, walk, concentrate and communicate is also affected.
   • You need a lot of empathy for someone with chronic pain when they say they need to sit down, lie down, lie in bed or take medicine. right now. Perhaps they have no other option and cannot procrastinate because pain can occur anywhere or while doing anything. The pain does not wait for anyone.

6. 

   Look for signs of pain. Frowning, restlessness, restlessness, mood swings, hand twisting, groaning, sleep disturbances, teeth grinding, poor concentration, decreased activity, even writing down suicidal thoughts or words expression of suffering or pain. You need to be observant of what they are going through.

7. 

   Know that chronic pain is real. You may think that people with chronic pain go to the doctor just because they want attention, they like it, or have an illness. They are actually looking for ways to improve their quality of life and find the cause of the pain, if not clear. No one wants to feel that way, but they have no choice.

8. 

   Acknowledge what you cannot know. Pain is difficult to describe to others to understand. It is felt individually based on one's psychology and fitness. No matter how sympathetic you are, don't assume that you know exactly how they feel. Yes, you know what it feels like to you, but everyone is different, and you cannot go inside the sick person to feel their pain. advertisement

Part 2 of 3: Having a supportive attitude

1. 

   Show sympathy. Empathy means that you try to understand the feelings, views, and behaviors of others as you see the world through their eyes. This insight will guide you in what to do or say to the person. The person with chronic pain differs from you in some ways, but there are many similarities with you, so focus on those commonalities and try to understand the differences.
   • Even though they are sick, they are still human. When suffering from chronic pain, sufferers experience pain most of the day, but they still want what the average person wants, such as enjoying work, family, friends and recreational activities.
   • People with chronic pain may feel like they are trapped in a body they have little control or control over. Pain pushes everything you've ever loved out of your reach, and it can even contribute to feelings of helplessness, grief, and depression.
   • Try to remember how lucky you are when your health allows you to do anything, and imagine if you didn't have that luck.

2. 

   Know that the person who is hurt is doing their best. They can cope, sound fun and normal whenever possible. They live to the best of their ability. Remember that when the sick person complains of pain, they are really in pain!

3. 

   Listen. One of the best things you can do for the sick person is to listen to them. To be an effective listener, pay attention and try to understand what's going on inside the person so you can get a feel for their feelings and what they really need.
   • Make it clear that you want to hear what they have to say. Many people with chronic pain feel that others do not believe them or make fun of them for being so weak.
   • Try to decipher what they are hiding or restraining through their body language and in their voice.
   • Allow yourself to be weak. Sharing means something is coming up from both of you. To create a deep empathic bond and truly become a soul mate, you need to reveal your true feelings, beliefs, and experiences.
   • Read How to listen effectively for advice on how to be a great listener.

4. 

   Please be patient. If you find yourself impatient and want the sick person to “keep going,” you may be placing guilt on the sick person and ruining their determination to deal with their illness. They may want to follow your recommendations but have no energy or ability to cope as a result of the pain.
   • Don't be discouraged if the person seems too sensitive. They went through a lot of suffering. Chronic pain can be devastating both physically and mentally. They do their best to cope with the pain that is frustrating and exhausting, but not always. Try to accept them that way.
   • People with chronic pain may have to cancel a commitment at the last minute. If this happens, don't take it personally.

5. 

   Help the sick person. People with chronic pain depend a lot on healthy people to support them at home or to visit when they are too weak and unable to go out. Sometimes they need help with bathing, dressing, personal care, etc. They may need to see a doctor. Maybe you bridge them with the "normal" in life and help them connect with areas they have missed and longed to get back.
   • Many people say that they want to help but are not really present when needed. If you've offered to help, you should stick to it. The sick person you take care of is dependent on you.

6. 

   Balance the responsibilities of care. If you are living with someone who is chronically ill or providing them regularly, you need to maintain a balance in your life. If you don't care about your own needs, your health and your job, being with someone with chronic pain can be devastating. Avoid exhaustion from caring for the sick person by asking others for help and taking time to rest. Take care of the sick person as much as you can, but you also need to take care of yourself.

7. 

   
   
   Treat them with respect. Even though people with chronic pain change, their thinking remains the same. Remember who they are and what they did before the pain got worse. Their intellect is still good for the job they once loved, but they have no choice but to quit. Be kind and considerate and don't be condescending to them.
   • Punishing the sick person for not getting over something will make them feel worse and show that you don't really understand them. People experiencing chronic pain have to deal with things most people never know. You need to try to understand why they can't get through.

8. 

   
   
   Invite them into your life. It is not just that they cannot participate in certain activities regularly that you should not invite them to join or hide your plans. Sometimes there are days when certain activities are controllable, and chronic pain is enough to make them lonely! Please understand and invite them to join!

9. 

   
   
   Open embrace. Instead of advising the sick person on how to cure their pain, show sympathy and give them a tender hug to let them know you support them. They have heard and met countless doctors saying such things.
   • Sometimes a hand on someone's shoulder can help ease them. Remember to be gentle. Use light touch gestures to help them connect.
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Part 3 of 3: Know what to say

1. 

   Put some cheers for your kids or friends at the gym. Understand that chronic pain can change, and cheers can make the person feel more frustrated and frustrated.If you want them to do something, ask them if they can and respect their answer.
   • Don't say, "But I did it before!" or "Fighting, I know you can do it!"
   • Stay as active as possible and engage in activities like walking, cycling, and tai chi. This can help soothe muscles and joint pain. Sometimes being sedentary can make pain worse. However, don't explain the benefits of exercise and fresh air. For people with chronic pain, these may not help relieve the pain and may make them worse. When you say they need to exercise or do something to “forget the pain,” you can be frustrating. If they could do it, they would.
   • Another hurting is, "You just need to work harder." Sometimes being in activity for a short or long time can make a person more hurt and more painful - not to mention that recovery time can be very stressful.
   • Don't tell someone with chronic pain such as "You're too sensitive", "You have to face it harder" or "You have to do this for X, Y or Z". Of course they are sensitive! You cannot know what they have to deal with, nor how much pain or anxiety they have to face.

2. 

   Don't be the doctor. People with chronic pain still regularly see their doctor, trying to improve and follow the instructions given to cure them. Your advice may be inaccurate, especially if you have no medical training and no clue what the person should be dealing with.
   • You need to be careful when recommending alternative medications or treatments. Prescription, over-the-counter, and alternative therapies can cause side effects and unforeseen consequences.
   • Some sick people may not be welcoming to advice - but it's not that they don't want to get well. Maybe they've heard about it or tried it out. Or they are not yet ready to accept a new treatment that could add additional burden to their already burdensome life. Ineffective treatments can cause emotional pain when it fails, and that sometimes makes the person feel worse.
   • If there is a therapy that has ever cured or helped someone who suffered the same pain, let the person know when they seem willing and ready to hear. You need to be careful when making suggestions.
   • Do not explain prescription medications if they have been prescribed them by their doctor. Pain management is difficult, and there are days when people need to take more medicine. Tolerance is NOT addictive.
   • Avoid commenting on how to use drugs that patients are taking.

3. 

   Never say redundant sentences. Don't assume that you know best by saying, "Oh, that's what life is, you will have to face it", or "then you'll get through", "From now on you will have to do my best ”, or worst of all,“ Oh, you look good ”, etc… Such expressions will make you distant from the sick person. It only makes the sick person feel worse and lose hope.
   • People living with chronic pain know how they feel and how they are, so avoid telling the sick person how you think they should feel.
   • Offer helpful suggestions by saying things like, "So what can I do to help you?", Or "Is there anything I can do to help you cope with your pain?"

4. 

   No comparison of health issues. Don't say "I used to be like that and now get better." It shows you lack of understanding and makes the person feel defeated because they are not able to handle what they are going through and that others can do better than them in the same situation.

5. 

   
   
   Be optimistic. Patients living with chronic pain are already terrible, but it gets worse when people leave them, misunderstand them or spread the negativity. Everyday life can be difficult and lonely for someone with chronic pain. Tireless support, arousing hope and showing love are extremely important to communicating with them.
   • Comfort the sick person and let them know that you are always there for them. A good friend is also a savior!

6. 

   
   
   Ask about their treatments. Ask if the treatment they are using is working. It is important to ask helpful questions such as, if they find the treatment working, or if they feel the pain is unbearable. People seldom ask "helpful" open-ended questions that can help people with chronic pain open up and truly talk.

7. 

   
   
   Ask how they feel. Don't stop asking them "How do you feel?" just because the answer might make you uncomfortable. That may be your only chance to show interest. And if you don't like an answer, remember that it is their answer - not your opinion.
   • When the person is open to being open, don't say that they "talk too much about it", or "just talk about the disease". Understand that pain may be a big part of their lives. They may not want to talk about things like vacations, shopping, sports, or gossip.

8. 

   Knowing that silence is also good. Sometimes it's fine to sit quietly together, and the sick person will be happy to have you around. You don't need to fill up every minute of verbal conversation. Your presence says it all!

9. 

   Admit when you don't have the answer. Do not use cliché language or words that are not based on facts to cover up your ignorance. Even the medical community doesn't know much about chronic pain. Answer "I don't know" and then ask to find out about the problem that won't harm anyone. advertisement

Advice

• Remember that this is not their fault! They don't want to be in pain, so showing trouble when the person is unable to do something will only make them worse.
• Invite them to go to the store, mail, cook, whatever.
• Remember that their pain or discomfort and abilities can change dramatically, even over the course of a day.
• Smiles can hide more things than you think.
• The person with chronic pain does not think of the disease and is not the ill person.
• Think honestly about all the responsibilities of caring for a sick person before dating them. Understand that you will face a lot of problems, and if you hesitate even a little, DO NOT FORGET to persuade yourself to move forward. You need to be ready and respectful of yourself and the person by not trying to force yourself into a relationship. You are not a bad person to think that you are incapable of taking care of someone with health problems, but you will be if you end up resenting or making them feel guilty for being sick.
• Don't forget that people with chronic pain are just as normal as you are, even if they have other difficulties. They want to be seen and enjoy the feeling of being themselves.
• Although difficult, caring for the sick person and / or dealing with chronic pain can pay off. Sometimes you can see how well they are and come back to more normal people. The person you care for and those around you will recognize and value everything you do.
• Chronic pain is associated with depression and anxiety, plus increasing the dose of pain relievers to control the pain and becoming unbearable increases the risk of suicide. Seek professional help if you or someone with chronic pain experiences severe depression or wants to commit suicide.
• People with chronic pain also have sleep problems. Finding treatment for sleep or treating depression can help improve your pain.