Content

• Steps

While social inclusion is generally viewed as a pleasant, leisurely activity, different conventions and anxieties can destroy your enjoyment of social life and make it difficult. difficulty in interacting with others. Overcoming self-esteem, rejection, and hesitation problems will increase your desire to socialize; meanwhile, improving your communication style, taking advantage of common friends or taking up similar opportunities in society will help you become a more sociable person.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Overcoming hesitation

1. 

   Pay attention to your insecurities. Everyone can feel shy or restless at one point or another, but if you feel obsessed with your shyness it could be that you're telling yourself in some way. that you don't deserve it. These incorrect emotions are reinforced day by day by the negative things you say to yourself all the time. Learn to pay attention to negative thoughts and differentiate between logical and irrational ones.
   • How often do you tell yourself that you are not attractive? Do you tell yourself that you are bland? That you are crazy? Remiss? These negative thoughts make you not confident enough to communicate. More importantly, they hinder you from living a meaningful life.
   • Only by identifying your insecurities and telling yourself that you are a worthy person can you become truly integrated.
   • Sometimes we get so used to these negative thoughts that we no longer pay attention to them. Start keeping those thoughts in mind.

2. 

   
   
   Learn to deal with negative thoughts. Once you have learned to recognize them, you can gradually train yourself to stop those thoughts so that they no longer haunt your life. When you find yourself having a bad thought, try the following exercises:
   • First, identify existing negative thoughts. Now close your eyes and visualize that thought in your mind. Then label the thought "negative" on it and let it slowly go back and forth until it completely disappears.
   • Turn a negative thought into a constructive one. Take for example your overweight. Instead of constantly telling yourself, "I'm overweight," say, "I want to lose weight and regain my health to become a more energetic and charismatic person." In this way, you convert a negative thought into a positive goal for the future.
   • For each negative thought, think about three positive things.
   • When you become a positive person, it will be easier to make friends and socialize. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who always has dark clouds on his head.

3. 

   
   
   Write down your advantages. Unfortunately, we often spend too much time trying to improve ourselves and forget about our own sense of accomplishments, talents, and good nature. Ask yourself the following questions before you begin:
   • What made you proud of the past year?
   • What's your greatest achievement ever?
   • Do you have any unique talents?
   • What do people praise you for?
   • Have you ever done something that had a positive effect on other people's lives?

4. 

   
   
   Stop comparing yourself to others. One of the reasons people get stuck with insecurity is that they compare their "weaknesses" with the "strengths" of others. In other words, they compare negative values ​​in their own lives to positive values ​​in the lives of those around them.
   • Remember, everyone experiences pain or pain in life. If you find yourself wondering why these people seem happier than you, remember that happiness is not related to external circumstances, it depends on the person's attitude.
   • If you are too busy thinking about others, then you will not have time to make yourself more interesting and complete.

5. 

   Remember that you are not the center of the universe. Ironically, frightened people who feel invisible often assume they are looked at, criticized and ridiculed. Even though you are not invisible, the idea that strangers are always staring at you and waiting for you to get in trouble is utterly extreme. Everyone has a life of their own and they have very little time to pay attention to you if you do something awkward. Even if they pay attention, they will immediately forget the incident for a few hours, and you will keep it in your heart for a few years.
   • Getting rid of the feelings that you are always observed and judged will help you learn to be more comfortable and relaxed around others, making it more pleasant to socialize.
   • Get rid of the idea that everyone is staring at you and judging you. Like you, they are more concerned with themselves than those around them.

6. 

   Forget the fear of rejection. You have a nightmare ... that you meet someone, and that person no longer wants to see you. Is it annoying? Exactly. Is it the end of the world? Of course not. In practice this very rarely happens. If you think that most people will reject you and are afraid to socialize because of it, you will miss out on great opportunities to meet many people.
   • Of course you should not meet everyone, you should meet or greet most people. But think about the interesting relationships you can find, as long as you open up.
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Part 2 of 3: Interacting with others

1. 

   Smile. Everyone likes to be around someone who is happy and loves life. Even if you aren't always happy, try to keep your smile on your face. Not only does it make you feel better, it also makes people want to approach, chat and get to know you.
   • When you want to attract someone, the smile is the most important thing, it shows that you are an optimistic person, worth meeting.

2. 

   Maintain open body language. If you are at a party or social gathering, keep your body language “talking,” that you want to be connected. Make eye contact with others, waving or nodding slightly at them and looking straight ahead, not looking down at the feet or the floor. Being cheerful and open-minded will make people want to be with you more.
   • Avoid crossing your arms, grimacing or crouching in corners. These gestures send a message that you want to be alone, and you know what? Everybody will please you.
   • Put the phone away. If you seem busy, no one will want to interrupt. Your body language should indicate that you are open to conversation.

3. 

   Be honest. Whether you talk to close friends or someone you just met, always keep your heart on the conversation. Showing your attentiveness shows that you are an empathetic person, which will bring inspiration and full interaction.
   • Don't try to say things the person likes to hear or what you think will make them like you better. Be yourself.
   • Avoid texting or talking on the phone while you're talking to someone face to face, especially if you're both talking about something important.
   • Keep the conversation balanced. Don't talk about yourself too much as it will make you look very cocky. Likewise, being too silent indicates that you are not interested in the conversation.

4. 

   Ask others questions about themselves. The truth is everyone likes to talk about themselves. And if you want to socialize and start talking to people more, you need to genuinely show interest in others, such as asking about their day, how they feel, and what they are doing today. What are the plans. This does not mean that you are curious or nosy about what the person is doing or that you ask too subtle questions. You are just asking them to open up and wait for their turn to ask you again.
   • This is also a communication technique if you are shy and don't like to talk about yourself.

5. 

   Think more openly. One of the reasons you can't fit in more socially is because you don't think there is anyone who resembles you. You might think that everyone is too stupid, too cold or too shy to be friends with you, but if you think openly and give others time to open up more, you'll find that around more people like you than you think.
   • Don't dismiss a potential friend after a smooth conversation. Talk to them over and over again to better understand their personality.
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Part 3 of 3: Expanding the social circle

1. 

   Make an invitation. If you're the type of person who just waits until your friends call you out without asking them again, then you haven't done your part well. Remember that your friend cannot know when you expect them to call, and they may also misunderstand your shyness as an indifference to your friendship. If you want to meet someone, take the initiative to find them.
   • Call up old friends who haven't been in contact for a while and plan to meet.
   • Host a party or get-together and invite all of your friends, colleagues and acquaintances.
   • Ask your friends to go to the movies, theater, soccer, or other activities.

2. 

   Receive more invitations. If someone asks you out, whether close or not, take their offer seriously instead of disappointing them. Don't say you can't join just because you are shy or dislike the person; Instead, think of other interesting people you might meet at the event you are invited to, whether it's a party, stay together or join a book club.
   • Make it a habit to agree three times after each rejection. This doesn't mean you have to agree to something truly awful, but accepting invitations to hang out with friends shows real interest in the friendship and makes you a person. more friendly and sociable. If you turn them down over and over again, your friends will get the feeling that you are disgusted with them and no longer enjoy spending time together.

3. 

   Join a club or group with like-minded individuals. If you want to make new friends, you will have to take a closer look at the people you regularly meet at school or work. If you have a specific interest, look to local clubs or groups in your area to join the activity.
   • Consider joining a local sports team, reading club, group or English club.
   • If you don't already have a hobby, choose one right away. Choose something that you can join as a group as possible.

4. 

   Meet mutual friends. Meeting friends with friends is one of the easiest ways to get to know new people. Try to see every person you meet in your life as a "path" or "gateway" to a new social circle.
   • Consider hosting a party and asking your friends to take their friends with you. As a plus point, at least all of you have common ground that is all acquainted with the same person at the party.
   • If your friend invites you to a party or big gathering where you don't know anyone, feel free to accept it. While it may sound intimidating, it's a great opportunity to meet new friends.

5. 

   Don't discern your life. Try not to see "work life" as separate from "social life" and different from "family life," and so on. While each of these aspects requires different behaviors and codes of conduct, the best way to get along well nature is to live as a social organism, independent of its surroundings. In other words, you don't have to "save" all of your social integration just to show it off at weekend parties.
   • Create your own social inclusion occasions. This can be as simple as asking a few courteous questions with your banker while you're dealing instead of staring at the phone and avoiding eye contact.
   • Find out more about your colleagues or friends if you don't already know them.
   • Attend social events with family members.While this may not sound very interesting, you will be surprised to find that you can make friends anywhere, as long as you have the right attitude.

6. 

   Prioritize your social life. No matter how busy you are, if you want to be more social, make a goal of going out to see people at least a few times a week. Although everyone needs personal time or has been through a stressful week (even a month), again, no one wants to go two weeks without socializing, except in special cases. special.
   • Tell yourself that no matter how tired or shy you are, you still have to get up and step out of society.
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