Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Seeing the person you care about is upset can be quite annoying. If your friend, girlfriend, or sister is very angry, worried, or upset, you will want to learn how to calm her down. You can do this by helping her relax, providing support, or talking about the problem.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Help her relax

1. 

   Take a deep breath with her. When you find she is having trouble calming herself down, instruct her to do deep breathing exercises that promote your body's natural relaxation response. To practice deep breathing, you need:
   • Find a quiet, comfortable place that doesn't have any distractions. You can sit up straight with a cushion or use a chair for support. Relax your shoulders and rest your hands on your thighs.
   • You both need to put one hand on your chest and one on your stomach. Breathe deeply into your nose for 4-8 counts. The hands on your stomach will rise along with your stomach. Hold your breath for 1-2 counts. Then, exhale through your mouth, watching your hands lower with your stomach, with the same count as when you inhale. The hand on your chest won't move much.
   • Repeat the process of breathing for 5-10 minutes, or until she feels more relaxed.

2. 

   
   
   Do exercises that are dynamic relaxation, muscle tension - relaxation. Another technique to help her relax and be more relaxed is dynamic, stretching - muscle relaxation exercises. It will help you perceive places under stress in your body as well as help you feel relaxed in these areas.
   • Sit comfortably in a chair or armchair. Proceed by taking a few deep breaths of breath for a few minutes to activate your calm.
   • Start with your feet and move up. Be aware of how your feet feel. Take a few seconds to feel it. Then, slowly contract the muscles in your legs until they are completely tense. Hold for 10 counts. Relax your muscles, paying attention to the relaxation it feels. Maintain this state for about 10 counts, continuing to breathe deeply.
   • Slowly approach other parts of the body and contract and slack each muscle group.

3. 

   
   
   Do exercise. When it comes to helping others calm down, the intensity of your exercise isn't that important, but physical activity is a great way to relieve stress and promote feelings of positivity. Exercise releases a comfortable brain chemical called the endorphins that help you feel more energetic and bright in your life.
   • If you see her having a hard day, direct her to a group fitness class like Zumba to get active and form social connections. Other options include running, walking, yoga, playing basketball, swimming, and hiking.

4. 

   
   
   Do a guided visualization exercise together. Guided visualization or visualization is another approach that promotes your body's natural relaxation response. This exercise will be conducted by listening to the recording or following the video on YouTube. Here's how to do it:
   • Find a quiet, peaceful area to listen to guided imaginative exercises or to use your mind. This method will be started by breathing deeply. Then, imagine a place that makes each person feel safe or happy, like her home, a water hole in the area, or a beautiful beach.
   • Use at least three of your senses to visualize this place. Don't stop at the image of it in mind but think about its scent (for example, freshly baked or fresh coconut), or the taste (e.g., chocolate or salty in the air gas). Move closer to the state of relaxation as you feel the feeling and surroundings of your special place.

5. 

   Listen to soothing music. Research has shown that non-verbal music is very effective at bringing calm to the mind. However, this is entirely up to her, maybe she just wants to temporarily forget the problem and dance to the lively music. Or, she wants to show compassion for herself by listening to music that describes how she feels.
   • It doesn't matter what kind of music, as long as it relaxes her.
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Method 2 of 3: Become a source of support

1. 

   Avoid asking her to "calm down". When she's upset and screaming, the last thing you want to say is "calm down". While helping her to calm down is your top concern, in fact, these three words are more likely to make her angry. In addition, they may make her think that you are taking her lightly or ignoring her feelings.
   • Instead, say something like: "I feel like you are sad / disappointed / worried ... can I help?" or "I don't get what you're saying. Let's take a deep breath and start over."

2. 

   Offer to help. If you find that she is absorbed in what is upsetting her, ask what you can do to relieve her of the burden, even if temporarily. Perhaps she will want you to help her with her school project or housework. She may even want to go for a lunch or walk in the park with you.

3. 

   
   
   Makes her laugh. One of the ways to help her stop thinking about what's causing her stress is to change her perspective. Do something that makes her laugh. You can tell a joke or watch a funny video or movie together. Buy her a new book / a pair of earrings she has always wanted.

4. 

   Physical contact. The physical contact between people possesses excellent soothing properties. Since collision is one of our earliest and most fundamental forms of communication, most people will react to it. Physical contact in the form of cuddles, cuddles, pats on the back, or hold hands can provide comfort that cannot be expressed in words. This method has been shown to reduce stress and improve health and mood.
   • Ask if you can give her a hug, massage her back or shoulders, or hold her hand. Acting like just a little physical connection to you might be all she needs to calm down.
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Method 3 of 3: Chatting the problem

1. 

   
   
   Wait until she's ready. When we see someone we love in trouble or suffering, we want to quickly fix the situation. Try to overcome her urge to "fix" the problems or urge her to talk about them. The best solution is to just be with her. When she is ready, she will start talking.

2. 

   
   
   Actively listen. Good listeners don't listen to answer, they listen to understand. Active listening is the process of focusing your attention on her messages and responding to them so you both get to know each other. Active listening encompasses four key principles:
   • Get to know her before she can get to you. You must gather information about her words before you can provide a suitable response.
   • Don't judge. Try not to express any criticism of her situation. You should display interest and unconditional positive emotional intelligence. You can stay with her, chat, and provide support without having to agree to everything she says.
   • Provide full attention. Ratio eye contact is comfortable for you, usually about 70% of the time while you are listening (about 50% while you are speaking). Turn off the phone. Facing her, don't cross arms and legs.
   • Make use of the right silence. Sit still no matter how you want to interrupt her. She may want to reveal some important information that she would never say if you interrupted the wrong time.You can respond by nodding, smiling, or by saying a few short comments like "Yes" or "You keep talking" to let her know that you are listening.

3. 

   See how she feels. Usually, if she's overwhelmed by her stress or feelings, she just wants to feel heard and accepted. When our loved one is sad, in an effort to try to resolve the situation, it is easy for us to take their sense of guilt lightly. Once she has calmed down, ask her to describe how she feels to you without taking her situation lightly or voluntarily offering advice. Useful statements include:
   • "Ah, that sounds bad".
   • "I'm sorry you had such a hard time".
   • "I understand why you're sad. That doesn't sound fair."

4. 

   Help her problem solving. Only after you have actively listened to and acknowledged her feelings can you move on to the resolution phase. And, you are only allowed to help her come up with a solution if she asks for your help. If not, your mission here is complete. If she asks you for advice or helps her solve a problem, work together.
   • Identify the problem clearly. Then, consult with her about the results she is looking forward to receiving. Once you have identified her goals, make a list of all possible solutions for them. Read each solution aloud and consider all their pros and cons. Allow her to make the final decision. Remember that you are there to support her, not to take responsibility for her life.
   • If her problem is too big and you can't help her on her own, offer to go with her to talk to her parents, other adult, school counselor. , or a consultant.
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Advice

• If she wants to be alone, give her some space. However, keep in mind that she may want to chat with someone in the future, so let her know that you are there if she needs it.
• Be sincere and honest.
• Pay attention to every detail of her words. Avoid being "dazed" when she is making a statement about her feelings, because she may ask for your opinion on something or about how you react to a situation. Not actively listening will make her feel like you don't care.
• Give her an affectionate hug when she cries and say you want to know what happened and if you can do anything for her.

Warning

• Don't try to proactively discuss the problem with her. Give her time, you can cheer her up, but don't force her to tell you what happened.
• Don't ask her to calm down or relax. You should calm her down without saying this as it will only make her more upset.
• Don't offend her further.