Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Helping a loved one overcome depression can be challenging. When the person is a boyfriend, you will also feel your own pain. Maybe your boyfriend will get angry and vent his anger on you often. He doesn't even care about you.Gradually, you may feel neglected or blamed for your boyfriend's depression. Learn how to help your boyfriend get through this difficult time and at the same time not forget to take care of yourself.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Communicate with each other honestly

1. 

   Identify his symptoms. Men experience depression in a different way from women. If you notice your boyfriend has most or all of the following symptoms, he may be depressed.
   • Always in a state of fatigue
   • No longer interested in things that used to be loved
   • Get irritable or angry
   • Difficulty concentrating
   • Concerned
   • Eating too much or not being eager to eat
   • Suffering from pain or digestive problems
   • Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
   • Failure to fulfill responsibilities in school, work or home
   • Have suicidal thoughts

2. 

   
   
   Communicate your worries. Maybe your boyfriend hasn't noticed his mood lately, but after a few weeks of watching, you're sure your partner is depressed. In this case, take the initiative to address the matter in good faith and encourage him to share his feelings.
   • Here are some suggestions to help you initiate a conversation: "I've been worried about you for the past few weeks" or "Recently, I see some difference in your behavior and I want to talk to you about it. you about that ".
   • If you notice a sense of tension between you two, avoid bringing up depression. He may view your words as accusations and withdraw.

3. 

   
   
   Use first person sentences to avoid blame. When men are depressed, men tend to be short-tempered or not afraid to argue. He will show these traits no matter what you do. However, if you reach out to him lovingly and without judgment, he will probably be willing to listen.
   • What you say can turn into blame or judgment on your boyfriend if you are not careful in your wording. The saying "I've become bad and irritable lately" will make him defend himself.
   • Use a sentence in the first person - focus mainly on your emotions, such as “I am worried that you might get depressed because you seem to lose sleep. Moreover, he also did not meet friends. I want us to talk about solutions that can make you feel better ”.

4. 

   
   
   Listen to and appreciate his feelings. If your boyfriend isn't afraid to talk to you about what he's going through, know that he has put up the courage to do this. Help him open his heart by reassuring him that it is okay to share his feelings with you. When he talks, it's your job to listen attentively and nod or respond with empathy. After he shares it, summarize what he said and repeat it so he knows you've been listening.
   • For example, you could say, “It sounds like you are in a state of anxiety and can't be relieved yet. Thank you for telling me. I'm sad to know you have to go through this, but I'll do what I can to help you. ”

5. 

   Ask questions regarding his safety. If your boyfriend is depressed, he may think about hurting himself. Even if he has no suicidal thoughts, he can also engage in dangerous behaviors such as leaping quickly in traffic or using drugs or drinking a lot of alcohol to forget the situation. present. Express your concerns about your partner's safety and health. You can ask the following questions:
   • Are you thinking of hurting yourself?
   • Have you ever thought of committing suicide before?
   • What are you going to do to end life?
   • What are you using to hurt yourself?

6. 

   Seek help for someone who has suicidal thoughts. If your boyfriend's answers indicate that he intends to leave life (with a specific plan and implementation), you need to find someone who can help him. If you are in the United States, call the suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.
   • You can call 911 or your local rescue service if you believe your boyfriend is at risk of hurting himself.
   • Have someone take away things that could be used as weapons. Also, make sure someone is with him.

7. 

   Show that you are willing to support him. People with depression often find it difficult to get help, even if they really need it. Reach out to your partner by asking how you can help, what you can do to relieve him of stress and you can help him with some errands or take him away. somewhere not.
   • Maybe he doesn't know how you should help either. In this case, by asking “What can I do for you right now?”, He can tell you how he needs support.

8. 

   Help him find ways to overcome his depression. When your boyfriend accepts that he is depressed, encourage him to attend therapy. Depression is treatable, like many other illnesses. With the right professional support, your partner will soon improve his mood and behavior. Help him find a therapist or therapist and if he likes you can go with him to the therapy sessions. advertisement

Part 2 of 3: Assisting your boyfriend in the recovery process

1. 

   Ask both of you to do some physical activity. In addition to medication or therapy, exercise can also be effective in improving the mood of people with depression. Being active produces a chemical that contributes to mood changes called endorphins, which helps your partner feel better about himself. In addition, he no longer focuses on negative thoughts and feelings that affect his mood.
   • Choose something that you and your partner can do together that will improve your health. Some suggestions include taking a fitness class, doing a home exercise program, jogging at a park or participating in team sports.

2. 

   Make sure your boyfriend eats healthy foods. Researchers believe there is a link between diet and depression. That doesn't mean your partner's nighttime habits get him down, but sticking to this unhealthy habit can get him caught up in negative emotions.
   • Help your boyfriend stock up on heart and brain foods like fruits, vegetables, fish and just a little meat and dairy products to contribute to depression.

3. 

   Help him find ways to manage stress. You can help your boyfriend reduce the stress load in everyday life by introducing him to some healthy stress management skills. First, you would encourage him to write down all the stresses or worries in his life. Next, the two people will work together to think about how to reduce the load or eliminate the causes of stress. The rest is to list convenient solutions your boyfriend can apply in everyday life to relax and reduce stress.
   • Practical activities that can help him manage stress include taking deep breaths, going for a walk in a tree area, listening to music, meditating, writing in a journal or watching a funny movie or video.

4. 

   Encourage your boyfriend to use a mood diary. Mood charting can help a partner engage with his or her emotions and pay more attention to her own daily emotions. Depressed people can track their sleeping and eating habits to find patterns of behaviors that lead to negative emotional states. Your partner may also write down patterns of thinking and feelings each day to identify emotional fluctuations.

5. 

   Help him connect with others. When depressed, men and women often withdraw. However, maintaining social interactions can help a depressed person reduce feelings of loneliness and overcome depression. Find activities that you and your boyfriend can do with other people so that he can interact with new people. Or, you will talk to his friends and encourage them to meet more often.

6. 

   Avoid tolerating your boyfriend. Your partner must work his way through depression on his own.There will be times when you will worry that you are allowing him to remain depressed. If you put in so much effort that your boyfriend loses the ability to "be on his own" to get over himself, stop.
   • Support but not tolerate. Gently encourage your boyfriend to be more active, participate in social activities, or get out in the air without threatening or neglecting him. Your boyfriend wants you to show love and empathy, but he doesn't need you to take on the responsibility of your healing.
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Part 3 of 3: Take care of yourself

1. 

   Don't think your boyfriend's depression is related to you. Depression is a complex medical condition and you can't control your partner's feelings. Of course, you will feel powerless or miserable when you see him struggle with his condition. However, you shouldn't take it as a sign of your own weakness or that you are not a great girlfriend.
   • Try to stay focused on your daily schedule and make sure you always fulfill your work, school or home responsibilities.
   • Also, draw boundaries on what you can and can't do for him. You will feel guilty, but the truth is, you have no obligation to make him feel better. Trying to do too many things can damage your health and well-being.

2. 

   Admit that you can't "fix" him, but you can assist him. No matter how much you love and care for your boyfriend, you alone cannot help him. Believing you can "fix" him will put you in another trouble and even upset your boyfriend if you see him as a project in need of change.
   • You just need to be there, willing to help and support your boyfriend when needed. Your partner has to deal with his depression on his own.

3. 

   Find a support group. His boyfriend's depression is like an important battle that leaves him with no energy for romance. Supporting him during this time can make you forget your feelings. This is a hurdle for both of you, and you need support as well. Join a support group, keep in touch with positive friends, and talk to a psychologist when needed.

4. 

   Take care of yourself every day. It can be easy to spend a lot of time caring for your boyfriend and forgetting to take care of yourself. Don't miss out on your favorite activities like reading, spending time with friends or soaking in the hot tub.
   • Don't feel guilty when you take time out of yourself. Remember that you cannot help him if you neglect yourself.

5. 

   Understand the limits of a healthy relationship. Although you want to help your partner as much as you can, depression can sometimes interfere with relationship maintenance. If your boyfriend can't sympathize with you in a healthy way, the relationship may come to a dead end. This does not mean that people with depression cannot maintain good relationships - many people with depression can. However, depression can cause serious relationship problems. Remember:
   • The boyfriend / girlfriend relationship is not a marriage. As a boyfriend or girlfriend, you have the right to end the relationship if things don't go as expected. You don't have to be a bad person if you choose to end a relationship with someone who can't love you, and especially when the relationship doesn't make you better.
   • It's important to know what you want out of a relationship and reflect on whether you get what you need.
   • Putting yourself and your needs first is not selfish. No one has control over the needs of an independent adult. You must take care of yourself first before you care about others.
   • Depression can sometimes cause someone to lose the ability to maintain a relationship. This cannot reflect your partner's role and you are not a bad person either. Loving someone does not mean you can overcome a relatively serious illness with them.
   • Depression is not an excuse for violence, manipulation or abuse. Depressed people often have negative behaviors. However, if a partner loses control over their behavior, they are still held accountable for their actions. In fact, you should also separate yourself from the relationship to protect yourself.
   • You are not responsible for controlling your partner's reaction to the breakup. Fear of a breakup can lead a depressed person to do dangerous things, including suicide. However, you cannot control his actions. If you are afraid your ex might hurt him and others, get help. Don't get stuck in a relationship that you don't dare give up.
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Advice

• Show him that you are strong and independent enough not to depend on him. If he is worried about what you will do without his attention, he will find it difficult to be honest with you and focus on improving the situation.
• Please be patient. Hopefully your partner will feel better soon and your relationship will be renewed with mutual trust and bonding. After all, maybe he will love you more for what you did for him.

Warning

• If he wants to be alone for a while, respect that need. However, ask family and friends to keep an eye on him if you fear he might hurt you.
• Notice if depression is frequent or recent in your partner. Maybe he needs medical help. In addition, this situation will make him overly dependent on you, which is not healthy. If your depression gets worse (suicidal thoughts, etc.), it's time to seek help from others.
• In some cases, it may mean that you are hiding or that he doesn't trust you. Don't blame yourself. Please mention this as his depression gradually improves. You will let your partner know that his accusations hurt you (use first person sentences when speaking) and that you want him to stop doing this in the future. Behave in a similar way when he acts rude to you during depression.