Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

When someone you know is dealing with the death of a loved one, you don't know what to say or do. You may not feel comfortable doing anything, but let the other person know that you care about them in times of grief.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Recognize the traumatic experience

1. 

   Understand that grief is different for everyone. Every day and every hour, the person who is grieving can feel completely different.
   • People experience pain in many different ways. Some people will have mixed feelings, like denial or anger, at the same time. Others begin to feel after a while, and experience numbness after loss.
   • Often times, seeing sorrow as a "roller coaster" instead of an orderly period is clearly quite helpful. The lost person will appear to accept it completely one day and deny everything another day. They may be angry in one moment and calm at another. You need to see their feelings as a natural response to loss.

2. 

   
   
   Know that accepting or denying is a natural response. Despite popular belief that denial is the first response to the loss of a loved one, research has proven the opposite. Accepting death is actually a more common first response than denial. However, it is also possible that the person will be shocked or denied. Depends on the individual. The length of shock differs from person to person and depends on the situation.
   • It is important that you give the person time to process information. You have to admit the death of a loved one, but you don't have to force others to acknowledge it when they're not ready.

3. 

   
   
   Understand your desire to be with your loved one. Research has shown that a desire to be around your loved one is a stronger first response than skepticism, anger, or depression. This desire can be expressed in something like "I miss him so much," or "Life isn't the same without her." The person can review old memories, review photos, and more related to loved ones as a way to maintain connection. This is completely normal.
   • You can help by listening to their stories. Encourage them to share memories if they want. You can even raise questions about the deceased, if the person seems to want to share it.
   • You can also reassure the deceased's family that they cannot prevent death. Desiring to be with a loved one can cause them to negotiate, the actions we take to make ourselves feel as though we still have the ability to regain control and prevent future loss. hybrid. Blaming yourself is a common grief reaction. A bargain statement usually begins with the phrase "I should have" or "What if". Remind the family of the person who has lost memory that the event is beyond their control.

4. 

   
   
   See anger as a way to deal with pain. When the shock and pain of the initial loss are over, the person may use anger to fight the pain. Research has shown that feelings of anger increase within 1 - 5 months of loss, and gradually subside.
   • Anger can be quite irrational and misplaced. It can be manifested by blaming a god, fate, or self for bringing loss. Do not minimize these feelings by using language that makes the person ashamed, like "Don't get angry" or "Don't blame God." Accept their feelings of anger by telling them, "I am sure it will be painful to be faced with what you are experiencing. For me, anger is a natural reaction."

5. 

   Watch for signs of depression. Depression is normal after a major loss and will not lead to Severe Depression Disorder. Research has shown that depression increases rapidly about 1 to 5 months after loss. However, initial shock can also cause symptoms of depression, such as mood swings, lethargy, and difficulty concentrating.
   • If the deceased person's family wants to harm themselves or become completely separated, this is a sign of Severe Depression Disorder, and you should contact a mental health professional.

6. 

   Help the person complete the period of grief. Grief is a way of expressing and handling grief. Many psychologists believe that a person needs to complete certain tasks in order to feel a sense of acceptance and closure. However, things will be quite stressful, and everyone will have their own way to accomplish them.
   • Accept the truth of loss: Mental acceptance often occurs quite early in the grieving process, but it can take a long time for the emotions to catch up. You can do this by talking (sympathetically) about your loss.
   • Handling sorrow and pain. This process will take a long time and the way each person handles suffering will be different.
   • Tune in to the world without loved ones. This type of adjustment includes external factors (such as finding a new place to live or closing a bank account), internal (redefining yourself when no longer in a relationship with a loved one), and spirituality ( consider the impact of loss on your worldview).
   • Find enduring connection with your loved one as you move into a new stage in your life. A common misconception about pain is that you have to encourage others to "get over it". However, the family of the deceased will want to find a way for themselves to feel a connection with the deceased, and this is completely natural. Help them find a way to remember a loved one through a special tribute project, whether it's planting a tree, opening a scholarship or doing other meaningful activity. In the meantime, you should also encourage the person to continue to explore new sides of yourself and discover what life means for them in the present.

7. 

   Allow the person not to express anything. Popular beliefs tend to assert that people should "vent their emotions" when grieving. We often believe that if you do not express an emotional response to an injury, it will be difficult for you to move forward. However, research suggests that this is not really true. People experience and process grief in many different ways. Don't try to force them.
   • Numerous studies of loss in general, and the pain of losing loved ones in particular, have shown that people who don't show negative feelings about loss may experience less stress after 6 months. If the person you're helping wants to express how you feel, support them, but don't push them to do so. Maybe they just want to use another way of coping.
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Method 2 of 3: Expressing empathy for the grieving process

1. 

   Accept that the person has passed away. Be honest and tell the grieving person that you don't know what to say or do. Then ask them if you can help them.
   • For example, "I heard that your grandfather has passed away. I am very sorry for you and your family, and I wish I knew what to do. How can I help you?".

2. 

   Do chores or chores for the person. The days that follow a loss often become very busy. If the family of the person who has lost a loved one does not ask you to help them with some specific activities, you should offer to go shopping, help them with housework or cooking, or take care of pets or children. surname.
   • It is more helpful to offer specific suggestions than just saying, "Let me know if you need something".

3. 

   Attend funerals and other meetings. Don't worry about having to say the right thing. Just being present can show your support.
   • If you are unable to attend an event, you should express your love and support through tangible objects. You can send them a condolence card, flowers, or a CD of music to cheer them up. If the person is quite religious, send them something consistent with their tradition of loss and grief.
   • You need to be sensitive. Cultural and spiritual traditions deal with grief, death, and loss in diverse ways. Don't assume that others will have the same experience as you, or seek comfort in your own tradition.

4. 

   Listen and show compassion for the person. Just ask if they want to talk and then sit quietly and listen. Allow their grief to manifest in the form of tears, as well as happy memories.
   • Don't hesitate to express your own feelings and emotions. Sitting next to and cuddling is a great way to help the person physically. Crying is a great way to show your sympathy for the person. Smiling or laughing when it comes to a happy or happy memory is always a good way to show respect for your deceased person's life.
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Method 3 of 3: Realize when to ask for other help

1. 

   Watching for signs of severe depression requires intervention. Depression is common for someone who has lost a loved one, but these feelings can develop into more serious problems if left untreated for a long time. You should tell the person you care about.
   • Many studies suggest that almost any feeling of great grief usually lasts about 6 months, but it will take a different time for each person. If more than 6 months have passed and the person shows no signs of improvement, or if their symptoms get worse, they are probably experiencing problems. complex grief. This is a state of constant, increasing suffering that prevents the person from processing his or her emotions and overcoming them. It is also known as prolonged suffering disorder.
   • You should ask the person to seek professional help if you notice any of the following: difficulty performing normal activities, alcohol or drug abuse, hallucinations, separation and isolation, hurt yourself, and talk about suicide.

2. 

   Seek the deceased's family support group. You can contact your organization or support group to ask them to give you instructions to help your friend.
   • Ask the person to join the support group and accompany them. If you think your friend will refuse, you can tell them you want to join a support group and ask them to come with you to help you.

3. 

   Continue to help the person for a long time after the funeral. Keep in touch and encourage the person constantly. Grief is an ongoing process, so the person will need help for at least a few months.
   • Prepare your friend for future triggers and be ready to provide them with help in the meantime. Anniversary (anniversary or wedding), birthday (of the deceased, as well as the survivor), special event (wedding, graduation, childbirth, or any other event in which the person was loss will be present, or would like to attend), holidays, and even many times of the day (for the person whose routine is well established with the deceased) can be triggers.
   • You can help your friend manage them by planning other activities to distract them, taking short notice of the deceased in all events, and shaping traditions and new habits.
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Advice

• Do not hesitate to talk about the deceased. Sharing memories is a way to show respect to your friend and to the deceased.
• Don't give advice to the grieving person unless they ask for it.
• Avoid telling the person that you know everything they are going through or compare the loss of a loved one in the past with them.

Warning

• Avoid drug and alcohol abuse while you are in distress, as they will only make the situation worse. Discourage the person from engaging in self-destructive behavior.
• If the person harms himself or mentions suicide, seek professional help immediately.
• Unreasonable and misplaced anger is common. Understand that sometimes the person will get angry at you, so don't take it personally.