Content

• Steps

Feeling frustrated or frustrated is a normal part of life. Conflict and stress at work, home, or social life can upset you, and this just shows that you are human. Fortunately, you can choose how to behave and react to these situations. With a little bit of knowledge and practice, you can learn to manage your own reactions and stay calm no matter the situation.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Stay calm before your eyes

1. 

   Count to 10. By taking a break and counting to 10, you are separating yourself from your feelings and thoughts. Imagine that with each number, you are reaching a new level of calmness in your thinking. Focus on the number and the desire to create a peaceful space as you count down from 10 to 1. Repeat this method until your mind has calmed down.
   • If you need a little more time, you can count down from 100. This will relax you and give you time to calm down.
   • A trained hypnotherapist will often use counting to help you learn to calm down and relax.
   • You can also do counting exercises anywhere: at home, in the bathroom, in the elevator, and anywhere negative thoughts and disappointments arise. For example, if you are driving and someone is crossing your path, pull over and count to 10.

2. 

   
   
   Breathe to relax immediately. When stressed, your body activates what is known as "fight or surrender". Your sympathetic nervous system begins to increase your heart rate and breathing rate, stretch your muscles, and prepare your body to face an attack. Take time to breathe deeply, provide your brain with enough oxygen and slow your heart rate, making you relax. This way, you can respond to anger or discomfort in a more productive and alert manner. Find a place where you can be alone for at least 10 minutes to focus on your breathing. Play some soothing music if you want. You could also try one of the following breathing exercises:
   • Breathe while counting to 10. Inhale when counting even numbers and exhale when counting odd numbers. You can even add a few simple fantasy images by visualizing you are breathing in relaxing colors, like blue or green. As you exhale, imagine a gray plum smoke representing negative thoughts or feelings leaving your body.
   • Sit comfortably with your hands on your stomach. Take a deep breath of air into your abdomen and exhale completely. Notice where your body is being tense.For example, many people often experience muscle tension in the neck, shoulders, lower back, or arms and hands. Let the air seep into the area under stress and let the tension dissipate as you exhale.
   • Playing relaxing music can also help when you're exercising.

3. 

   
   
   Separate yourself from a sad situation. If your conflict involves someone else, take a few breaths, explain quickly that you are upset (without going into details), and walk away. This will help create a separate space for your brain to deal with your emotions, and also allow you to feel like you can control the situation. Remember that you have many options and they are tools to help you calm down.
   • You don't have to go into details, and you shouldn't just look away hastily if you're upset - this can stall conversations between you and the other person. Instead, you should say something like "At the moment, I'm really pissed off and I need to take a break. I'll go for a walk."
   • You can walk for as long as you like. Imagine that with every step you take, you're letting the frustration out of your feet. Try to take a walk in a park or area with lots of trees and let yourself stop thinking about what is making you unhappy.

4. 

   
   
   Acknowledge your thoughts. Pay attention to negative thoughts about situations that make you uncomfortable. Accept that you are upset. Frustration is not a feeling of stupidity or pettyness; it is a natural human emotion and it is a must for anyone to experience it. Everyone has the right to get upset, and every time we are upset, we have the opportunity to learn about the triggers that trigger our strong emotional responses. Allow yourself to feel unhappy at the problem that is disappointing you. This way, you will be more honest with yourself and can help you calm down.
   • This may seem difficult and even cheesy at first, but try to talk to yourself to practice accepting your emotions. Tell yourself, "Right now, I'm feeling very upset. This is normal. I can control how I react to these feelings."
   • Consider writing down your thoughts when you are upset. Acknowledge that you are sad in the short term, and then examine your thoughts when you have calmed down.

5. 

   Laughing loudly. You can search for a funny picture on your phone or on the internet, or think about a joke that always makes you laugh or something funny that you have heard or seen. Frustration is an emotion that is completely normal, and like any other feeling, you can manage it. In the short term, you need to become more cheerful so you can stay calm and make healthy choices about how to deal with discomfort. Stop trying to resolve the conflict or problem until you think more clearly.
   • Laughing can help calm you down, stay calm, and handle your discomfort in a healthy way. It is not an effort to reduce the frustration you are feeling.
   • Make sure that the humor you use is not mean or sarcastic because it actually makes you even more upset.

6. 

   Listen to soothing music. Take time to immerse yourself in whatever music can calm you down while you breathe and relax. If you want, you can also dance or sing. Being active and creative can also help calm your body and connect with your feelings. This way, you'll put yourself in a better position to deal with whatever is upsetting you.
   • You should look for music with 60 beats per minute as they will help your brain synchronize your heart rate and the beat of the music. This will create a calm and relaxed state. Vocalless music, soft jazz, "easy to hear" music, or a New Age singer like Enya will be of great help.
   • You will find quite a few websites that provide soothing music for your phone. From there, it will be easy to calm down.
   • The most important thing is that you love the music you're listening to. While it is common belief that listening to strong music will make you even more angry, research has yet to find any clear link between these. In fact, some studies suggest that listening to "strong" music, if you like it, will increase your positive emotions when you are angry or upset.

7. 

   Change your mindset. Change your negative thoughts to positive thoughts. This will help you improve your mood, combat feelings of discomfort or frustration, and maintain calm. Practice using positive language to calm yourself down.
   • For example, if you are sad that you accidentally broke something, you might think: "Things never go well for me." Or "Things always get messed up". This is an example of the idea of ​​"be eaten all the way home," a popular "pitfall" in thinking. Instead, try to change your mindset to "It's just an accident. Accidents happen often." Or, "Anyone's making mistakes. It doesn't mean I need to be upset."
   • You may also feel unhappy if you jump to conclusions about other people or "personalize" matters, turning them into your problems when the truth is not. For example, if someone gets in your way, you will get angry and believe that person intentionally harmed you. This is personalization. Take a moment to reflect on the situation. Perhaps the driver is not seeing you, or is having a bad day and therefore is not concentrating, or he or she is a new driver and is not confident in his skills. There are many other explanations, not necessarily that the person wants to attack you. Keep this in mind, as feeling attacked or harmed is a common cause of anger.

8. 

   Motor. You can release stress through physical activity to calm your body. Exercise releases endorphins, natural chemicals that boost your mood. Moderate exercise can reduce stress and anxiety.
   • Try to go to the gym or practice punching in a sandbag, or go for a run. Or, you can do more gentle activities like stretching or walking.
   • To gently stretch muscles, you need to breathe while stretching arms, legs, and back. Pay attention to the body and its toughness. Muscle contraction increases blood circulation in the body, helping to soothe tense muscles. It will also make you feel more alert and relaxed.
   • Many people feel more comfortable turning their attention to cleaning. Cleaning has something to do with the physical thing, it is effective immediately, and distracts your mind through the process of doing some positive and productive activity. Frustration can also increase feelings of tension, so cleaning up can help you feel calmer and more relaxed.
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Part 2 of 3: Create a calm mindset

1. 

   Understand that you cannot control others. You are the only one who can control your actions and reactions. Unfortunately, this means you won't be able to protect or completely isolate yourself from others so you won't get upset. Nurture yourself so that you can build a barrier against the frustration and unpleasant situations in your life. This method will help you stay calm in uncomfortable everyday situations. Realize that you are only empowered by how you feel.
   • For example, irresponsible drivers, annoying co-workers, or relationship conflicts are all out of your control. But you can control how you react to the annoyance.
   • Try to take time to pamper yourself, such as taking time to read a good book, taking a relaxing bath, or taking a walk around the neighborhood.This self-care technique will help you calm down.

2. 

   Take the RAIN method.RAIN is an acronym that can help you practice mindfulness in your daily life. Many research studies have shown that mindfulness practice can help relieve stress.
   • Seeing the experience (Recognize the experience). Be aware of what's happening in the present moment. Feel your own feelings, your body experiences, and the thoughts you are forming.
   • Allow yourself to feel them (Allow yourself to feel these things). When an experience triggers negative thoughts and feelings, allow yourself to feel them. Normally, we will suppress our emotions, and this action will make us feel more stressed and upset. Recognize that your feelings are real, and that they are not "right" or "wrong" - they simply appear.
   • Study the situation with kindness (Investigate the situation with kindness). You need to show yourself the same empathy you do for your friend. For example, if you feel stressed, you will think that you are stupid or useless. Please study your thoughts. Would you say these things to your friends? Instead, try to show kindness to yourself by saying something sympathetic to yourself like "I deserve it."
   • An innate sense of self-love (Natural loving awareness) will appear when you do the three steps above. This will allow you to separate yourself from generalizations like "I'm a loser" or "I'm stupid". You will find that this kind of thinking often comes up when you are scared or insecure.

3. 

   Practice mindfulness meditation. Many studies have shown that meditation helps your brain change how it responds to stressors. This is especially true of mindfulness meditation that has been widely studied.
   • You don't need to meditate for hours to get results. Even 15 minutes of meditation a day will help you become calmer. For example, some people find it helpful to meditate as soon as they wake up in the morning. At this point, you are in a calm and sleepy state. Just press the snooze button on the watch, sit up, and focus on your breathing.
   • Daily meditation will help reduce your stress response, make it easier for you to let go of minor disappointments, and develop a calmer mindset when you are faced with conflicts of any kind.

4. 

   Yoga. Yoga has been clinically proven to help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. Almost every type of yoga incorporates meditation, breathing exercises, and light movement, making it a great technique to calm you down and manage your stress response. There are different types of yoga, so find a yoga class that suits your abilities and be guided by someone you feel comfortable practicing with. You should practice yoga in a quiet environment that can help you relax. Relax your mind by connecting yourself to your emotions and body.
   • Remember that yoga is not about getting in shape and it is not a competition.
   • You can check out our other yoga articles for more details.

5. 

   Pay attention to your emotions every day. Consider the feelings you are experiencing. Respect them, and this will help you react more calmly to what causes you to grieve. You can write your feelings in a diary, the diary will be your protective pad. Journaling about your feelings will help you reduce stress and manage your anxiety and depression.
   • Exploring your emotions will help you calm down and become stronger to deal with your everyday challenges, because you know that you always have a way to handle your emotions.
   • Remember to show sympathy for yourself in journaling. Studies have shown that just writing about negative feelings or stress is not enough to be effective; You need to try to be kind to yourself when these feelings arise and come up with solutions.
   • For example, if you find yourself very angry with a co-worker, write about your experiences in a journal. What happened? How did you feel? How did you react in that moment? Would you like to change anything about the way you react? What will you do in the future to avoid this reaction?
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Part 3 of 3: Making Better Lifestyle Choices

1. 

   Do exercise. Try to exercise every day, even if it's just the act of walking, or dancing for 20 minutes. Exercise releases endorphins, natural pain relievers that help relax and regulate your mood. Your body will also feel calmer.
   • Staying inactive can strain your muscles and stress you, making it easier for you to overreact to situations that upset you.

2. 

   Avoid caffeine and sugar. Both of these will cause your adrenal glands to produce more hormones, making you more upset. At the same time, it will make it difficult for you to relax and stay calm. Try to cut back on caffeine and sugar for a few weeks and see if you feel calmer and more relaxed. Then, you can slowly add a little more sugar or caffeine if you want.
   • Even if you do decide to consume caffeine, keep in mind that adults shouldn't exceed 400mg of caffeine a day, or 100mg a day if you're a teenager.
   • Try to have a healthy snack every 3 to 4 hours. This will help maintain your blood sugar and prevent mood swings that make you feel more upset.

3. 

   Do not use alcohol to reduce stress. While it's fairly common to use alcohol as a coping strategy for stress, it's not a healthy course of action. You can drink socially from time to time, but you shouldn't consider alcohol as a "stress relief" remedy. This only puts you at risk of abuse and becoming addicted to alcohol.
   • If you drink alcohol, you should only drink in moderation. The National Institute for Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism states that men should drink no more than 4 drinks a day and no more than 14 drinks per week; women should have no more than 3 drinks per day and no more than 7 drinks per week.
   • A "glass" is about 350ml of regular beer, about 230ml - 260ml of malt wine, about 150ml of wine, or about 45ml (a small glass) of 40% alcohol.
   • Avoid drinking alcohol before bed. Although, initially, it will make you sleepy, alcohol interferes with your REM sleep cycle and drains you the next morning.

4. 

   Get enough sleep. Lack of sleep is a common cause of stress and anxiety. Studies in the US have shown that most Americans need more sleep than they normally do. Take a few steps to ensure that you get a good night's sleep:
   • Establish a routine before going to bed. Stay away from screens, like TVs or computers, before bed. Drink a cup of herbal tea or take a hot bath. Do the same thing every night before going to bed.
   • Avoid caffeine and nicotine before bed. They are stimulants and will make it difficult to sleep.
   • Maintain consistency. Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. This will help your circadian clock function properly.

5. 

   Balance between work and life. Remember to plan something that you can look forward to, whether it's a vacation, free time at home, your favorite TV show, or a class. You care. You should feel as though your life has a balance between the tasks you have to do and the work you want to do. Realizing that you are caring for yourself in this way can help you feel calm and content.Both of these are a barrier that protects you from becoming upset and reacting negatively.
   • Set boundaries for work and personal life. For example, tell yourself that you won't respond to work-related emails outside of business hours.
   • Manage time effectively. Many adults waste too much of their time on workdays, and this may mean you'll have to work on "at home" time. Try to get things done in the company so you don't have to bring work home with you.
   • Set up a time for fun. In particular, if you have a fairly busy schedule, you may miss the "private time" for yourself completely. Try to make a plan for relaxation, and you can even add it to your schedule if needed. Make "private time" as important as any other appointment.
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