Content

• Steps

Breaking up with someone you once loved is not easy. Today WikiHow shows you how to do this, but first you have to make sure this is exactly what you want.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Psychological preparation

1. 

   Make sure you really want to end the relationship forever. Never break up with someone unless you feel okay with the prospect of never coming back. Even if you later change your mind and agree to return to them, you have carved that relationship a scar that will never fade.

2. 

   
   
   Know that the person may be overwhelmed and unable to befriend you, at least for the first time. Breaking up is a very sad affair for anyone in a relationship. So don't expect the two of you to become friends quickly after breaking up.

3. 

   
   
   Avoid breaking up for the wrong reasons. You have to think carefully about whether this feeling is worth ending, not just think about your future, think about that person's future.
   • Never be afraid to break up with someone because you're afraid of being alone. The only way you will find the right person is to get out of this and become yourself.
   • You should also never avoid breaking up for fear of hurting the person's feelings. Breaking up can be scary, but it's worse to stay with the person you don't love anymore.
   • Don't suggest "pause." This pause is usually just a transitional period before the complete breakup; If you feel like you need to cut off from the person temporarily, it means that you really want to break up but are afraid of being alone. Instead of offering to pause, wait until you are ready and put a real end to the relationship.

4. 

   
   
   Make the necessary changes. If you live together, you need to decide who to go and who to stay (of course this is a topic to discuss). If you want the person to move, give them plenty of time to find somewhere else to live, during which time you should also move somewhere temporary.
   • Ask your parents or close friends if you can stay for a few days, or you can rent a hotel room to stay.
   • If the two do not live together but see each other every day at school or work, it is time to consider whether or not it is necessary to adjust the schedule / work or not. If you think that continuing to see each other on a regular basis would be difficult to get through, consider changing jobs or reapply in class so you don't have to spend time with the person.
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Part 2 of 3: Say goodbye

1. 

   Choose the right time. There is no perfect time to break up with a loved one, but there are certain situations that you definitely need to avoid. Those times include:
   • When your partner is in a personal crisis like a loved one losing a job or knowing you are sick. If he or she is in the midst of a crisis, don't say goodbye now to avoid hurting them more.
   • When you two are arguing. Never end a relationship in a moment of anger; you can put an end to things with hard words, and then regret your decision after it all settles.
   • In front of others. If you decide to break up with him or her in a public place, at least find a quiet table or corner to talk to. Keep in mind that either or both will become very emotional and require privacy.
   • No texting, emailing or phone calls. If you truly love your ex, you need to face to face to make this clear.
     • The only acceptable scenario is that the two are in long-distance love and having a face-to-face meeting is unrealistic. Even so, you still have to try to video chat or make phone calls instead of using unintentional means like texting or emailing.

2. 

   Prepare your partner's thoughts. In other words, don't surprise them by suddenly saying goodbye in the middle of a conversation or while the person is busy doing something else.
   • Pull the person out and say "I have something to tell you," or "I think we need to talk."
   • Send a text or email offering to talk to the person before you meet. This will give them ample time to mentally prepare themselves for an important dialogue. You don't break up with your spouse over text but just let them know a serious talk is about to take place.

3. 

   Use a sentence with the subject "I". These statements help to avoid criticism and express your point of view in a concise manner. For example you could say:
   • "I feel that the kids are not part of my plan." Here's a softer way to say it instead of: "I want a baby and you don't."
   • "I think I need to spend more time with myself now." This is much more pleasant than: "I want to spend too much time together."
   • "You need to think about your future." Your ex will feel less hurt than when you say, "We have no future."

4. 

   Be honest with them, but not necessarily cruel. Everyone deserves to know the truth, but there are things that only hurt them, not suggestions.
   • If something is clearly wrong with the relationship, such as hobbies that don't match, let the other person know. Being honest and explaining the cause will help your ex get through faster instead of wondering why you ended the relationship, wondering what they should change. The problem might be: "I know you're happy when we're out, but I'm not really excited. I don't think we match."
   • Find clever ways to express your criticism. If you love the person, try to protect their self-esteem. For example, instead of saying "I don't find you attractive anymore," say, "I feel that the fire between us is gone."
   • Reassure the person that you still love and truly care about them. This will help reduce feelings of rejection. You could say, “You really are a good person. I am smart and ambitious. It's just that our ambitions are not the same. ”

5. 

   Offer to keep friendship. If you really want the two of you to still be friends, then you should express that thought after your breakup. However, there is a possibility that the other person is too heartbroken and will not want to be friends with you, at least for now. Respect that desire and give them space if needed.
   • Once you have broken up, do not keep calling or texting your ex on a regular basis. This will make them hopeful and unable to live well. Even if you both decide to be friends, you will need to wait a while, at the same time not to meet or talk to each other.
   • After you have broken up for a while and when your old feelings are gone, you might want to consider resuming your friendship with your ex. Maybe with a group outing (it is best not to date the person alone as it can be confusing.) You could try starting out like: “You and the gang are going to the movies. Would you like to come together? "
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Part 3 of 3: Getting over after a breakup

1. 

   Avoid talking to your ex, at least initially. While it may seem impossible to cut off contact with your loved one, continuing to be in regular contact with each other will make it even more painful. If you feel like you can't stand it, block the person's phone number. Block their accounts on social networks. This will temporarily save you from temptation.

2. 

   Don't feel guilty about bad emotions. Even though you are the one to take the initiative, you can still feel pain or loss. These feelings are very normal and you have to accept and work through it.

3. 

   Make time for yourself. Love is sometimes quite complicated. After breaking up with someone you once loved, you may feel a sense of loss. This suggests that you should take a little time to get to know yourself better and adjust to your single lifestyle before embarking on a new relationship.

4. 

   Lean on friends and family. Don't be afraid to seek emotional support from those close to you in your life. You can find your best friends and family. They can fully sympathize with what you are going through, they will give you advice and are ready to help. advertisement